ST:TNG Season Four, Episode Nineteen "The Nth Degree"

ST:TNG Season Four, Episode Nineteen "The Nth Degree"
Production Order: 19
Air Order: 19
Stardate: 44704.2
Original Air Date: April 1, 1991

We open in that tiny theater on the E, which is set up for a scene from Cyrano de Bergerac, played by Dr Crusher and Reginald Barclay.
Yay, I love Reg!
He's his old self, jittery and flubbing his lines a bit, but peeps on the E are trying to be all supportive and whatnot, and ignore those parts.

Okay, maybe not Data.

When the scene ends, Data leans over to Riker.
"I don't understand... that was crappy."
"Be polite," says Riker.
Data pastes on a smile, and they all go to congratulate Barclay on his fine performance. It is revealed that Reg has been taking acting lessons for six weeks now, and Crusher says he's doing a great job. They leave, and only Reg and Troi are left to continue their conversation.
She points out that he's made a lot of progress in being sociable and getting up on stage in front of others.
"I guess so?" he replies. "Is this better, though? I've always been more comfortable playing someone else. This is just doing it outside of the holodeck."
"Naw, this is interacting with actual people. You're not trapped in your own head. Give yourself some credit."
He begrudgingly agrees, and I totally feel that, because sometimes it's just too damn hard to give yourself credit for things.

Picard's Log 44704.2: "We're going out to the Argus Array, this big-ass thing at the edge of Federation space. It stopped sending info two months ago, so we're gonna find out why."

Ugh, fuck me. Is that V'ger? Better not be.

"All the shit's dead," says Data. "But the power relays are way overloaded."
"Well, that blows," replies Riker.
"There's a weird thing nearby," puts in Worf.
They check it out.
"Ugh, it's a probe," says Riker. "Probably fucked up all of the shit."
"It's not sending out signals," Worf adds.

La Forge and Barclay get in a shuttle to go check it out. They try hitting it with a bunch of scans, but they're not getting anything.
Barclay thanks La Forge for assigning him to this mission. A genuine smile!
"No prob," says La Forge. "You're one of my top engineers, you should totes be going on these kinds of cool missions."
Suddenly, there's a flash from the probe.
"WTF?" asks La Forge, covering his face. "Ah, crap. Computer's down."
Oops, Barclay is too.

Dramatic music! Opening credits break!

Picard's Log, supplemental: "That probe thing fried the shuttle's computer. We beamed the shuttle crew the sick bay, where they're checking out Barclay."

Picard makes the decision to tow the probe to the nearest science station for study, but Worf interrupts.
"Dude, probe is coming this way."

Down in sick bay, Crusher tells Barclay that the flash of light overloaded his eyesight, causing him to pass out. But his eyes are fine, and they'll run his numbers through some kind of neuro scan to make sure everything is okay. La Forge wasn't knocked out because his VISOR filtered the flash out.
"You guys are both free to go back on duty," says Crusher, handing off a padd of Barclay's numbers to an assistant and asking for him to run them ASAP. "I'll let you know when I get the results back."
Barclay turns on his way out. "There's a faster way. Couldn't you just do a scan in like, globe mode?"
"Yeah, that's engineering shit," smiles Crusher. "It isn't possible with medical stuff."
"Bullshit!" yells Barclay, mildly manic. "It's the same kind of set-up! Oh.... um, I could help you set it up. Should work."

No time for arguments now, friends. Those are klaxons going off! Barclay springs into action while La Forge and Crusher exchange raised eyebrows.

On the bridge, Data confirms that there isn't any known kind of propulsion powering the probe, even though it is indeed following them.
"It fried the computer on the array and the shuttlecraft, and there's no telling if we could protect the one on the ship," says Worf. "Recommend we Boldly Retreat."
So they do. They back up. Then faster. Each time, the probe speeds up to chase them. They can't blow it up without taking damage.
"How about Full Barrage of Phasers?" asks Worf.
"Yep," replies Picard.
It does nothing.
"Probe getting ready to fuck us over," Data reports.
Down in Engineering, La Forge is getting ready to turn up the heat on the phasers, per Picard's request. Barclay rushes ahead and is already mid-way through the procedure when La Forge asks him to start.
But the beefier phasers didn't do the job, either.
They go to warp. So does the probe.

"The energy output of the probe is gonna take out our shields in less than a minute," Data announces.
"I'm out of ideas," Picard says. "Anybody else have one?"
Down in Engineering, Barclay stares into space like a dog that has just heard a high-pitched sound. He starts plugging numbers in and pushing buttons.
"WTF?" demands La Forge.
"Slowing to impulse!" someone shouts. "Energy routed from engines to shields."
"You can set off those torpedoes," Barclay calmly tells Picard over the intercom.
"We'll take damage!" Picard calls back.
"I don't know how he did it," says La Forge, checking readouts. "But he increased shield strength by 300%. We should be fine."
Worf gets the go-ahead and slams his itchy trigger finger on the torpedo button.
Bye-bye, probe.

Barclay can barely contain himself.

La Forge is less than pleased.
"Oh, um. Sorry I overstepped there," Barclay fumbles.
"Uh-huh," says La Forge flatly.

Dramatic music! Commercial break!

Picard's Log 44705.3: "Okay, so... took out the probe, but we still have the problem of fixing the array."

Riker encounters Barclay in the hall, and cheerfully asks him how the hell he managed to pull off that shield thing.
"Oh," says Barclay, "I just thought (long-winded science that leaves Riker way behind), and it worked."
"Sure, sure," fakes Riker.
They go to a meeting in the Obs Lounge.
La Forge gets down to it: each of the 18 sections of the array has its own fusion reactor powering it, but one computer system controls them all. Computer went down, fusion reactors started to go critical. "It's gonna suck when they blow."
"So we should isolate each one, shut them down, and work on them separately," suggests Data.
"Yep. Take about two... three weeks?"
"Naw, less than that," interjects Barclay. He gets up (and does a Picard Maneuver), then goes to the screen. "We could repair all 18 at once. Take way less time. The computer on the Argus Array isn't totally down, there's still some core memory left. We could just reprogram the computer, which will make the reactor repairs go much faster."
"That's a cool idea," says Data, "but it will take seven weeks to reprogram the computer. More time than fixing the reactors."
"I can do it in two days," Barclay announces.
"STFU," says Riker. "Not possible."
But Barclay is confident enough that he asks La Forge to help him, and La Forge gives him a sarcastic "Sure."
Troi looks pensive.

In the theater, Barclay does another monologue from Cyrano de Bergerac, addressing Crusher, who is moved to near tears. Then he steps back and beams at her, and she falteringly tells him that he's improved significantly.
He confirms that it's same Bat time, same Bat channel for next lesson, and leaves. For some reason, Troi was sitting in on this lesson, and again, she looks mildly concerned.

Troi approaches Barclay in Ten Forward to tell him she enjoyed his scene in the theater, and he thanks her humbly. They briefly discuss how he's found a new confidence and how it's changed him. When she gets up to leave, he boldly asks her out.
"Uh, inappropes," she answers. "I was your counselor."
"I don't need a counselor. I need some company."
She smiles and excuses herself.

In Engineering the next morning, the team has gathered, but no Barclay. Another Gold says she checked his quarters on her way over, but he was MIA.
"Majel," says an exasperated La Forge, "where is Barclay?"
"Holodeck three," answers Majel, who feels no qualms about narc'ing.
"Fuck me," sighs La Forge. "This shit again."
Okay, but Barclay isn't playing Three Musketeers with his holographic coworkers, he's discussing Grand Unified Theory with Holo-Albert Einstein.
"Hello?" interrupts La Forge. "We had a meeting at 7 am?"
(Damn, Geordi. You called a meeting at 7 am and didn't bring doughnuts? Harsh.)

In the corridors, La Forge confronts Barclay about the fact that he's a thousand times smarter and way more confident.
"Seriously, wth?"
"Does it bother you that I'm now the person I've always wanted to be?" asks Barclay.
"Yes!" says La Forge. "Cuz it happened instantly!"

La Forge takes him to sick bay, where Crusher does some brain scans.
"Holy shit," she remarks. "Everything in your brain has been enhanced. Thought process, intelligence, creativity, imagination. I can't even guess at your IQ."
"Probably 1200-1450?" he hypothesizes.
"I think you're the most advanced human being out there right now."
"Huh. Cool," he replies.

Dramatic music! Commercial break!

Picard, Riker, Crusher, Troi and La Forge have gathered in the ready room to talk shit about Barclay. Or, you know, figure out what to do about him.
"He's too fucking smart now," says Riker. "This crap started with the alien probe, and now he's some kind of genius that knows way too much about the E. We should confine him to quarters."
"For being smart?" demands La Forge. "WTH has he actually done to warrant that?"
"Alien influence," points out Riker.
"Well... he did make a pass at me," offers Troi. They all turn and look at her. "What? It was a good one. And it's not like him to make a pass at anyone, ever."
"He taught violin technique at the music school last night. He doesn't play violin. Or he didn't when he walked in," adds Crusher.
"We need him for this array project," says La Forge flatly.
"He hasn't done anything," decides Picard. "Like, being smart isn't a crime. So until he does something to warrant being confined to quarters, leave him be."
A Gold calls Geordi. "One of the reactors is going critical."
They end the meeting. On their way out, Riker turns to Troi.
"He made a pass at you, but you didn't say what your answer was."
She smiles on her way out. Crusher smiles at him too. He just looks baffled.

Down in Engineering, shit has gone to hell. Three reactors are overloading, and they can't do a remote shut-down of them from the E, because the ship's computer is too slow. It can't keep up with the changes.
"I need to find a better interface," announces Barclay. And he just walks out of Engineering.
"Bridge, it's La Forge. We're fucked."
"One of those reactors is going down in ten," says Data. "It'll cause cascade failure, and we're gonna lose the whole thing."
"Fuck," says Picard. "Okay, let's prepare to jump to warp. La Forge: ten minutes to get this shit shut down or we're leaving."

Barclay sprints into the holodeck and tells it to set up a specific work station for him with a chair console in the middle.
"Connect the whole thing to the E computer using a neural interface," he tells her.
"That doesn't exist," she protests.
He rolls his eyes. "Okay, here's how you build it..."

Up on the bridge, the shit has hit the fan. They need to leave, yesterday.
"Yo, no power at the helm!" calls the confused ensign.
"No power here!" yells Worf.
"Manual?" demands Picard.
"No time!" yells Riker.
The consoles briefly fizzle, then come back online.
"Array reactors shut down," announces a confused Data. "Repairs taking place."
They're all hyped up, but now everything's fine?
"La Forge, what did you do?" Picard demands over the comm.
"Not me," admits La Forge.
Riker chimes in. "Majel, what happened?"
But Majel does not answer. Barclay does. "So sorry. I had to shut some things down to set up the neural interface to take care of the reactors. Everything is running smoothly again. Didn't mean to scare you."
"Why are you answering?" demands Riker. "I wanted to talk to the computer!"
"Yep, that's me," responds Barclay cheerfully.
And we go to the holodeck.
Whoa, Nelly.

Dramatic music! Commercial break!

La Forge, Picard and Riker go down to the holodeck to see wtf Barclay has done this time.
Barclay speaks without moving his mouth, because he's now hooked into the comm system.
"The computer interface was too slow to shut down the reactors and start repairs," explains Barclay. "So I set up a neural interface to read my thoughts as I had them. Most of my higher cognitive functions are uploaded into the E's computer system."
"Well, unhook it, then," demands Picard.
"Yeah, can't do that," says Barclay. "I would most likely die."

There's a quasi-senior officer's meeting in the Obs Lounge, and La Forge shuts off the computer's access to audio and visual into that room so they can talk without being "overheard."
Then they talk about not being able to unhook Barclay from the computer system.
"He can't be in there, though," scowls Picard.
 I bet he's worried Barclay will find his file of Orion prons.
"He's mostly expanded himself to every system," says La Forge.
"Not Engineering," points out Data. "We can bypass some systems there."
"Engineering isn't the ship," says Picard.
"Naw," says La Forge, "but it is propulsion. We can lock him out and get ourselves to the nearest starbase so they can disconnect him. It'll take a few hours."
"Do the thing," says Picard.

La Forge climbs into his Gold Workin' onesie and climbs into a Jeffries tube to do the thing.
"Hey, La Forge," says Barclay over the comm system. "Thought you'd be sleeping by now."
"I'm doing that diagnostic we talked about earlier," lies La Forge. "Just getting some stuff done, you know? How are you doing?"
"So awesome," gushes Barclay. "I know pretty much everything now. It's the best."
"You know everything?" asks La Forge, taking off a panel. "Like, how this happened to you?"
"Kind of?" replies Barclay. "I'm gonna be so beneficial to humanity."
That's not disconcerting at all.
"How so?" asks La Forge, carefully.
"Well, like warp. We think of the E being able to move in speeds according to warp. But I can move the ship differently, and we're gonna go places."

Dramatic music!

Up on the bridge, Data has noticed a weird subspace anomaly near the ship.
"Where's it coming from?" asks Picard.
"Um, our own nacelles, if you can believe it."
"The hell?" Picard jumps to his feet. "Hey, Barclay. Are you doing that thing with the nacelles?"
"Totes!" replies Barclay. "I have this theory that we can go places we would not be able to go otherwise."
"Okay, this is a bad time for an experiment? Can you do that later?"
"I really don't want to," pouts Barclay.
Worf cuts the audio ties to the bridge.
Data says La Forge should be done with the propulsion bypass in under 20 minutes. Troi offers to talk to Barclay in the meantime.

Troi goes down to the holodeck, and starts a chat with Barclay, friendly-like.
"Sorry we can't take our walk in the arboretum," he says.
"Me too." A pause. "So, people are kind of afraid of what you'll do now."

"That doesn't mean that their parents should let them stay in their cribs," he finishes.
Seriously? Fuck you, Reg.
Troi: "Are we children to you now?"
"I know so much more than you," he replies. "You have to trust me."
"How can we, when you won't follow orders? Please listen to the captain."
But each time, he replies with "trust me," and she leaves discouraged.
The lasers around Barclay's head go crazy.

Picard calls La Forge to ask how much longer it's going to be until he's finished, and La Forge replies that he's almost done, but then Barclay interrupts to tell him that he's too late. La Forge's equipment has stopped working. Red alert.
On the bridge, Data announces that the bypass was blocked, and they don't have propulsion system control.
"Get in losers," says Barclay. "We're going someplace cool."
The E turns toward the distortion.

Dramatic music! Commercial break!

Picard has Worf cut the audio to the bridge, then tells him to take a team of Security Golds to the holodeck to disconnect Barclay. Worf nods. He knows he's being asked to essentially kill a colleague. He will not take this lightly.
On the holodeck, Barclay tells Worf that he's knows what's going down on the street, and that Worf is being asked to do a thing, and Barclay does not hold him personally responsible. However, he also puts up a force field around himself and the equipment, so when the Golds fire at the conduits that run the equipment, it does nothing.
The E goes into the distortion, and everything is... distorted. The effect is kind of cool.

When everything stabilizes, Riker asks the helm where they are. She shakily tells him 30,000 light years from where they started.
"Center of the galaxy," says Picard.
"So, we have computer control again," says Data. "And we were aimed at a planet cluster."
A big-ass head appears on the bridge!

The head starts naming off scientific descriptions of humans as he sees them, as though studying them with friendly curiosity. "Bipedal motion. Cranial plate."
"WTF!" yells Worf, pulling his phaser.
Picard, ever the Starfleet explorer, introduces himself instead and asks the head who it might be.
The lift doors open, and an excited but shaky Barclay stumbles in. "I know, I know!"
"WTH?" demands Riker. "Thought you couldn't be pulled out of the computer without killing yourself?"
"Naw, the Cytherians helped extract me!" he exclaims. "So the probe was theirs, and it gives instructions on how to get here, but the technology is not always compatible. It wouldn't interface well with the array or the shuttle computer, but they could reprogram me."
The Cytherian head nods.
"They're on the same mission as us," continues Barclay. "They explore the galaxy, but they never leave home. They bring people to them. They wanna be buds."

Picard's Log 44721.9: "We spent ten days kickin' it with the Cytherians, exchanging info. What we got from them will take decades to examine. Then they sent us home. Barclay has been returned to normal."

La Forge and Troi chat with Barclay in Ten Forward. He admits that he remembers everything he did, but not how or why. Back to shaky, nervous Barclay.
"How do you feel?" asks Troi.
"Smaller."
Ah, sublimity. Thou art a heartless bitch.
Troi and La Forge talk about exceeding one's own limits, and how the tricky part is carrying a little of that feeling with you afterward.
"You're still a valued member of my team," La Forge reminds Barclay. "You wanna help me with that diagnostic now?"
"Noop," says Troi. "Barclay and I have a date in the arboretum."
Excuse you, I thought that was inappropriate? Like, it is. It is inappropriate to date one's patients.
Barclay looks mildly terrified.
La Forge, laughing, takes off, and Barclay and Troi start to leave.
On their way out, Barclay pauses at an on-going 3-D chess game, moves a piece and announces to the players, "checkmate in nine moves."
He and Troi move to leave again.
"I didn't know you played chess," she smiles.

So... I want to like this episode. I really do.
The concept isn't terrible, and Reg Barclay reappears, and I like him. And the special effects are cool.
But... I rarely recall its existence. With the first Barclay episode, I remember it vividly and fondly. When I see the title for this one, I don't recall what it's about. When I read the description, I'm still in the weeds. It's only when I watch it that my brain tells me that I've seen it before, and conjures for me vague images of what happens next.
Mostly I remember the head at the end. It's a little Neverending Story-ish.
Something I really dislike though, is Troi going on a date with Barclay at the end. That's just... so fucking unprofessional. Like, is it "Dr Linda from Lucifer" unprofessional? No. But dating one's clients should cost you your license at least.
But Lady Archon, you say, maybe she wasn't going on a date with him. Maybe they were going to the arboretum as friends.
Then she should have stated "as friends." She doesn't. They leave it as a gray area. You never see them as a couple, so probably it wasn't meant as anything but a one-shot, but still.
Don't date your psych clients.
Period.


- Fun Facts:

- This episode was written so that the writers could have Dwight Schultz reappear as Barclay. They had been trying to bring him back, but were not finding scripts that worked. They didn't want him to be the "nervous guy hiding on the holodeck" again.
- The Cytherian was played by Kay E Kuter, who will appear later in DS9. The Cytherian scene was shot separately form the other scenes and added later, so Kuter did not actually work with any of the other actors.

- In the original script, the Cytherians were much bigger jerks, but it was decided that that would come off as a hostage trope, which the writers didn't want.
- This is the second ship named Enterprise to travel to the center of the galaxy. Remember that shitty fifth movie where they meet "God"? Yeah. I don't, either.
- This episode has one of the longest pre-credit "teasers" of Star Trek, at nearly seven and a half minutes.
- The lasers used on the holodeck that surround Barclay's head are real. Lasers had often been used as special effects or added in as CGI later, but had never been used before in real time, as they were here. This meant that the film crew could move the cameras around Barclay and the lasers would remain. The crew had always wanted to use lasers in this way and figured this episode was the perfect time to use them.
- The shuttlecraft Feynman was named for physicist Richard Feynman.
- Albert Einstein is played by Jim Norton, who also played Mr Mason in the second Harry Potter film.

Norton and Michael Okuda

- When Picard tells Barclay to disconnect himself from the computer, Barclay uses the similar phrasing and intonation as HAL 9000 to say, "I'm afraid I can't do that, sir."




Red deaths: 0
To date: 0
Gold deaths: 0
To date: 0

Blue deaths: 0
To date: 1
Unnamed color crew deaths: 0
To date: 11,000

Obnoxious Wes moments: 0
To date: 1

Legitimate Wes moments when he should have told someone to go fuck themselves: 0
To date: 0

Sassy Geordi moments: 1
To date: 3

Sassy Wes Moments: 0
To date: 1

Sassy Worf Moment: 0
To date: 2

Sassy Riker Moments: 0
To date: 7

Sassy Picard Moments: 0
To date: 7

Sassy NPC Moments: 0
To date: 1
Sassy Data Moments: 0
To date: 2
Sassy O'Brien Moments: 0
To date: 0
Sassy Crusher Moments: 0
To date: 2
Sassy Troi Moments: 2
To date: 6
Sassy Guinan Moments: 0
To date: 3
Sassy Guest Star Moments: 0
To date: 3

Number of times that it is mentioned that Data is an android: 0
To date: 23

Number of times that Troi reacts to someone else's feelings: 2
To date: 17

Number of times that Geordi "looks at something" with his VISOR: 1
To date: 1
Number of times when Data gives too much info and has to be told to shut up: 0
To date: 1
Picard Maneuvers: 1
To date: 18
Tea, Earl Grey: 0
To date: 6

Bratty turned 20. I bought him a hoodie cuz he's a skinny little mofo
 and constantly cold.
He hates this sweater, and after two weeks, figured out how to wriggle out of it.

ST:TNG Season Three Review

ST:TNG Season Three Review

Damn, you sexy, season three!
We started out pretty good this season, then got progressively better.
Let's check it out!

Now that's Good Watchin'!

The Ensigns of Command

Data is forced to take charge of an evacuation of a planet where the people do not want to be evacuated. The romance that is forced on the audience through a colonist who has a thing for androids is trite and doesn't work, but Data's parts were good, and Picard's solution to a tough situation was great.

Who Watches the Watchers

The E stops by an uncontacted planet full of proto-Vulcans to drop off snacks and fix the duckblind on a scientific study lab, but some stuff goes awry, and the proto-Vulcans end up deciding that Picard is God. A decent exploration of the development of cultures, and how things can go sideways with the Prime Directive.

The Bonding

A crew member dies, leaving her young son behind. A non-corporeal alien from the planet where she died shows up in the guise of the dead crew member, in order to take her son down to the planet, to raise him out of guilt. Picard must explain to this alien why grieving is a necessary process that humans must weather. In a really great scene, Wes tells Picard that he is angry that Picard came home and his father did not. Wil Wheaton does not disappoint here. Discussions about what it means to deal with death in Starfleet are good ones, and flesh out the Star Trek universe further. While the alien-caretaker thing got a bit creepy, the rest of this episode was a good one.

Booby Trap

While a follow-up episode will change how I feel about this episode, I do love the idea of Picard & Co getting stuck in a booby trap in space that's more than a thousand years old, and Geordi's idea to use the holodeck to recreate the draft room where the Enterprise was built in order to figure out who to best move the ship out of the booby trap. I even liked the joint decision between himself and the computer to recreate a simulation of the original designer of the Enterprise. Where it went sideways was in the computer choosing to initiate a romance with Geordi using the computer simulation of the designer. However, this episode will be brought up a number of times in canon regarding holo-addiction and the question of whether or not it's okay to recreate living humans on the holodeck.

The Enemy

I hate the Romulans, but this was a fantastic episode. Geordi and a Romulan are trapped on a planet and must work together to get rescued. The B-plot involves an already-rescued and dying Romulan in sick bay. Worf has tested positive as the only person on the ship who can give genetic material to save him, but he refuses, and the Romulan dies. Geordi and his Romulan gain a better understanding of one another as a species. Reminded me of the film "Enemy Mine."

Yesterday's Enterprise

Tasha Yar gets a better death thanks to some alternate-universe-inducing space anomaly. A difficult episode to watch at times, but worth it.

The Offspring

A lovely and heartbreaking episode about Data building a new Soong-type android, a daughter he calls Lal. Touches a bit on trans issues, and quite a bit on reproductive issues. When Lal dies at the end from cascade failure, it's hard not to ugly-cry.

Sins of the Father

The Klingon Empire frames Worf's father for treason in order to keep the Empire together, and they figured Worf wouldn't find out or even care that his family would bear disgrace for seven generations. Turns out the Empire is corrupt AF, and Worf has a secret brother. Well done, and the intrigue was excellent. TNG does a better Klingon Empire than TOS: fight me.

Sarek

A well-respected and well-liked character from TOS fame returns as a dignitary nearing the end of his esteemed career. But his well-meaning staff and wife are concealing the fact that he is slowly losing his control over his emotions, due to a disease brought on by old age. It's heartbreaking to watch, and features excellent performances from both Mark Lenard and Patrick Stewart.

The Best of Both Worlds

We finally get to addressing the fact that Riker seems ambitious, but keeps turning down commissions, and then BAM! Picard is a Borg, and Riker makes the decision to blow him up. A really fantastic cliffhanger that had viewers champing at the bit to watch the second half when the show returned for season four.

Not Too Shabby

Evolution

One that straddles the spot between Not Too Shabby and What Was This About Again. Our first episode of the season had some good, strong sc-fi elements and some great Wes moments, but tends to fall into the forgettable category. It's mostly saved by those sci-fi elements, which feature nanobots that evolve into a new species and must be set free.

The Vengeance Factor

I go back and forth between placing this episode in this category and I Wanted To Like It. I liked the story of the girl whose DNA is altered so that she may murder every last member of the clan that decimated her own, but disliked that the ending came about with Riker killing her to stop her from killing someone else.

Deja Q

Q loses his powers and is made a human because the Continuum thinks he needs to learn some humility. He requests to join the Enterprise crew and is paired with Data. Kinda cute, kinda funny, and we see the side of Q that makes him just a pest and less of a dangerous asshole. Bonus points: we get some background on the Q Continuum.

Captain's Holiday

Again, I'm not sure if this episode fits here, or in I Wanted To Like It. Picard goes to Risa on holiday and stumbles into an archaeology adventure. I like his romantic pairing with a woman named Vash, and the episode was light and goofy, but the alien smugglers from the future bothered me, as did Riker's insistence that Picard would love, love, love a sexy romp on his favorite fuck planet.

Tin Man

Good sci-fi elements, decent story. Troi reunites with an old patient who has some mental struggles, and is important to a diplomatic mission. A man finds his place in the universe.

Hollow Pursuits

You either love Lt Barclay, or you hate him. This episode, Barclay's debut, features the heavily-anxious new crew member living out his shower fantasies on the holodeck, to the detriment of his job. Some hilariously cringy moments when the crew discover that he's been recreating them as well. Briefly touches on holo-addiction.

(barclay holodeck)

What Was That One About Again?

The Survivors

The E investigates a planet where the colony was attacked and only left two survivors. But it turns out that the whole thing was destroyed, leaving one alien posing as a human, and his wife, who is actually just a hologram of his own making. Didn't really have any moments that make you think. Some okay sci-fi elements, but nothing memorable.

The Hunted

A planet wishes to join the Federation, but they're hiding a dark little secret: they altered soldiers to fight in their war, and when they had trouble integrating, they locked them in prison. Has some poignant points to make about not taking care of your soldiers and their PTSD, but often gets lost in the mix. Didn't really make much of a comment on PTSD, either.

The High Ground

Crusher is kidnapped by a terrorist organization to look after their soldiers, who are dying of a mysterious illness. This episode was based on the unrest in Northern Ireland, but doesn't actually make any comment on terrorism outside of "sometimes it exists." Missed the mark.

A Matter of Perspective

Riker is put on trial for the attempted rape of an alien, and the murder of her husband. He's cleared of both when it comes out that the alien's death was an accident. A Rashomon-style story with good sci-fi elements, but there were some weird plot holes in this one that kind of makes it fall by the wayside.

Alliegance

Picard is kidnapped by mysterious aliens who trap him and others in an escape room, and a doppleganger runs the Enterprise. It was okay, but not a favorite.

The Most Toys

Data is kidnapped by a space dude-bro who collects rare and unusual objects. Data ends up breaking one of Asimov's Laws of Robotics in an attempt to escape, though it was changed at the last minute to make Data seem as though he were lying about it when questioned.

Transfigurations

Poor Transfigurations. This episode had solid sci-fi elements and storytelling, but was sandwiched between two iconic episodes, and so often gets forgotten. Includes a semi-forgettable Beverly Crusher romance-that-never-became-a-romance.

I Wanted to Like It

The Defector

A random Romulan shows up at the edge of the Neutral Zone, begging the Enterprise to help him defect. He says he has information about an upcoming war that the Romulans are preparing to start with the Federation, but it turns out the Roms have been feeding him crappy intel, to see if he'd betray the Empire. All that to find out that the Romulans are assholes. Which we already knew. And then the defector commits suicide. I found this episode frustrating.

Menage a Troi

This episode features one of my favorite characters, Lwaxana Troi, pitted against a do-nothing race (the Ferengi) in a goofy sex romp. But it was too light a fare to follow the heavy "Sarek," and the lighter elements of the show were ruined for me by Lwaxana's manipulation of Deanna. The argument between Deanna and Lwaxana on board the E spoke of a more toxic mother-daughter relationship than we had seen before, and it was uncomfortable as hell. Some good comedy moments and great aesthetics were not enough to make me enjoy this episode.

Nope.

The Price

Troi starts seeing a negotiator who is secretly part Betazoid. He uses his empathic powers as an edge in negotiations, but doesn't reveal them to anyone. He's also skeevy AF and a complete sociopath. Frustratingly, the show doesn't actually admit to his sociopathy. They play it off as him being sad but also glad when Troi outs him later, because he didn't like who he'd become. He asks Troi to live with him and keep him honest, but she wisely walks away from that Dumpster fire. The whole episode was about the manipulation of Troi.

Space Assholes

Fajo

Shady AF, kidnaps androids, mutilates trusted associates

Admiral Haftel

Though he redeems himself at the end by helping Data try to repair Lal, Haftel spends 90% of the episode insisting that Lal is property of Starfleet and should be studied away from Data. Reminds me of ICE agents.

Nayrok

Insists that soldiers like being locked up, can't take care of his own shit, tells Picard that it's his responsibility to fix Nayrok's problems. Fuck off, Nayrok.

Divononi Ral

Sociopathic monster who tried to rope Troi into being his perma-victim.

Welcome Back!

Hooray, Crusher is back!

Her return is addressed and even expanded upon in the first episode of the season "Evolution," where she jokes about missing "two inches" of Wes, and asks Picard about how he is developing as a person. They didn't just drop her in, which I appreciate. They even reference the fact that Pulaski was on board in her absence, talking about the memory-erasing procedure that Pulaski performed on Data's little friend in "Pen Pal." I'm glad to see her back. She meshes well with the crew, adds another dimension to Wes' character, and leaves the door open for more will-they-won't-they moments with Picard.

Breaking it down, we have 16 that were either awesome or pretty good, and 10 that fell into the categories of forgettable, I Wanted to Like It, or Nope. The numbers this time around were better than season two anyway, and light-years beyond season one. And far fewer space assholes! I've found that the episodes that I like best of Star Trek (in general) are ones that add something extra to a character's personality or background, or ones that add to the things we know about the Federation or another species. It's perfectly fine to have fun little episodes where you're just looking for something lighter ("Menage a Troi"), but the episodes that seem to work best on their own and as part of the whole are ones where a character is expanded ("Best of Both Worlds," "Sarek," "Sins of the Father," "The Offspring," ect), or where we learn more about another species (most of the previous list, plus "The Enemy"). This season offers plenty of opportunity for both of these things, and then some. What's more, it ends on a high note: we want very much to see how Picard is going to get out being a Borg. 

Or will he?

Red deaths: 1
Gold deaths: 20

Blue deaths: 1

Unnamed color crew deaths: 127
Obnoxious Wes moments: 1

Legitimate Wes moments when he should have told someone to go fuck themselves: 0

Sassy Geordi moments: 12

Sassy Wes Moments: 0

Sassy Worf Moment: 8

Sassy Riker Moments: 15

Sassy Picard Moments: 12

Sassy NPC Moments: 0

Sassy Data Moments: 6
Sassy O'Brien Moments: 0
Sassy Crusher Moments: 2
Sassy Troi Moments: 7
Sassy Guest Star Moments: 6
Number of times that it is mentioned that Data is an android: 28

Number of times that Troi reacts to someone else's feelings: 28

Number of times that Geordi "looks at something" with his VISOR: 5

Number of times when Data gives too much info and has to be told to shut up: 3
Picard Maneuvers: 38
Tea, Earl Grey: 8

Dead crew members: 149
Sassy Moments: 68
Did you know that Data is an android? Everyone does now.
Troi reacts a lot.
So many Picard Maneuvers.
Fewer cuppas than expected.

Roux and our first kittens of the season