ST:TNG Season Three, Episode Eighteen "Allegiance"

ST:TNG Season Three, Episode Eighteen "Allegiance"
Production Order: 18
Air Order: 18
Stardate: 43714.1
Original Air Date: March 26, 1990

Picard's Log 43714.1: "We killed this plague thing on this one planet, and now we're gonna go meet up with the USS Hood."

Picard is in his quarters, chillaxing in a chair with a book when he decides to take a nap. He stretches out and closes his eyes, just in time to miss some kind of floating blue rectangle block thing that hovers over him, takes a scan, and then he glows blue and disappears.
On the bridge, Data tells Riker that there's a weird energy coming from Picard's quarters. A page to the captain gets no response. Worf calls for a security contingent to meet him at Picard's quarters.
Picard wakes up on a slab. He's in a room with three more slabs, two more people, and one of those tall metal heaters that restaurants turn on for customers who are foolish enough to eat on the patio when it's cold as balls outside.
Picard tries to call someone on his comm badge, but there's no response.

In the meantime, Worf busts into Picard's quarters. Surprisingly, Picard is there. With his book and a booze.
"How come your security contingency is all up in my space?" he asks.

Dramatic music! Opening credits break!

Picard walks around the metal patio heater. One of the other people seems to be asleep, while the other one meditates deeply. Or, you know, deeply enough that he doesn't realize there's a dude walking around the room. Or maybe he doesn't care. Whatever.
Picard approaches the sleeping person, possibly with the intent to wake her up, but instead he puts his hand on her throat like he's going to choke her? WTH?
Anyway, she wakes up startled, because some stranger is choking her, and there's a weird moment where's she's like who the fuck is choking me and why? and he's all startled, because why the fuck did he think grabbing her throat was a good idea? He steps back and she sees that he's a Starfleet captain, and now she's all flustered, because she's clearly a cadet from the Academy, and I guess if a Starfleet captain wants to choke you out, maybe you're supposed to let them?
I'm at a loss here.
He introduces himself to her, and she says she's Mitena Haro, a first year. She's all starry-eyed, because it sounds like the Academy professors talk about Picard in class. She names off some of the stuff he's done.

They've sufficiently "woken" the meditating guy, who says he's Kova Tholl.
They start sharing info. Neither of the others know why they're here, or where "here" is. Haro has been here three days, and was studying by herself at school when she fainted and woke up in this room. Tholl was meditating by himself when he also passed out. He's been here twelve days.

Their captors have never shown up or made themselves known. Picard goes to the patio heater again, and Tholl reaches into the stem to pull out a red urinal cake.
"It's edible," he says, "but I wouldn't call it food."
Picard takes a bite and comes to the same conclusion. Then he tries a wall panel.
"Yeah, I wouldn't touch that," says Tholl. "I tried to before, and they shot some kind of energy beam at me as punishment. Crazy-painful."

Other Picard enters the bridge. Riker tells him they'll meet up with the Hood in 36 hours, and Picard starts talking to Data about some nearby pulsar.
"We should go there," says Other Picard.
"We can be there in half an hour at warp 7," says Wes.
"Cool," says Other Picard. "Let's go at warp 2 instead."
"Um, that'll take 31 hours."
"Awesome. Make that shit so."
"Okay?" interjects Riker. "We're gonna be late to meet the Hood?"
"Probably," shrugs Other Picard.
Riker glances at Worf. "Will you tell the Hood we'll be late?"
"Nooo," says Other Picard. "All communications with other ships need to go through me first. Also, Riker, can I see you privately?"
"O...kay?" replies Riker.
So just that we're all on the same page: when you're supposed to meet someone, you should skip out on it, and also not inform them that you will be late. And also, you're not allowed to talk to anyone else without telling Other Picard.
He's kind of an asshole.

Riker and Other Picard go into the ready room, but not before Riker and Data exchange WTF? looks. Then Data exchanges a WTF? look with Worf, because WTF?
In the ready room, Other Picard talks to Riker about how sometimes he has captain's privilege and isn't allowed to tell Riker about top-secret stuff, even though he really, really wants to, and Riker's all "yeah, I guess that's happened before," and Other Picard is all, "Cool, I can't really talk to you about shit for the next few days, okay?" And Riker says that's fine, and when questioned about it, Riker responds that the crew knows that's sometimes a thing, and they'll comply as well.
"Awesome," says Other Picard as Riker exits.

Back in The Room, Picard is attempting to use the wall panel to tap out beeps in the first six prime numbers, to let their captors know that they're intelligent.
"That's dumb," says Tholl. "They're probably watching us talk on some closed-circuit tv. They know we're not unintelligent."
"I need to communicate with them," Picard insists, "to find out why we're here."
"We're here because they want us," sighs Tholl.
Spoilers: Tholl is a Debbie Downer asshole.
"Yeah, but why us specifically? Are you special?" Picard asks Haro.
"Not really," she shrugs. "I'm good with field coils, like engine propulsion? But if they wanted me for that, why would they take a cadet and not a real engineer?"
"Dunno. Hey, don't your people have some ongoing problems with (this other species that has nothing to do with this story)?"
"Yeah," says Haro. "But I don't think this is (that species)."
"My people don't have any enemies," says Tholl smugly.
Good for you, Tholl. Your race bought the universe a Coke.
"Fuck off," says Picard. "You guys get steamrollered by someone else every fifty years or so."
They get into a brief argument about nonviolence and letting someone comfort you for the sake of maintaining peace, when there's a whirring noise and another dude appears.
I'm pretty sure he's the lovechild between Pumba from The Lion King and a Tolkien orc.

Dude immediately pulls a knife on them. The others flinch, but Picard steps forward.
"No! Hey! We won't harm you! We're also captives, and we have no idea who kidnapped us, and we're just trying to get home, and again, no one is going to hurt you."
Which is what should have happened when Picard beamed over here: you tell that person everything you know in the first breath.
"I don't trust you," says the new guy. Still brandishing a knife.
"You don't get a choice," Picard says. "Also, were you kidnapped from Chalna?"
The knife goes away. "You know my planet?"
"Yeah, I was the captain of the Stargazer, and we went there once."
And that's seriously how Picard breaks up a knife fight. He just says he visited this guy's hometown one time like ten years ago, and the guy's like, "Okay, cool, I won't hack a hole in your torso with a serrated switchblade."

Back on the E, a bunch of our senior bridge crew are having their weekly poker night. Other Picard comes in, and he asks Geordi about the operating efficiency of the engines. He asks if Geordi might be able to bump it up about 2% more. Geordi says his luck sucks now anyway, and leaves to get that freaking 2%. The others offer to deal in Picard, but he says he wants to watch, which is... who watches a poker game? After Troi wins the next hand, Other Picard asks if he can talk with her in the corridor.
"How is the crew feeling after I switched our course?"
"Um, fine? Nobody has any problems with it. They have full confidence in you."
"If it falters," he asks, "will you let me know?"
"Haven't I always?" she asks, confused.
"Yeah, just let me know."
He walks off, and she goes back to her game.

In The Room, our captives are playing "Getting To Know You" and "Who Kidnapped Us?" The guy with the Pumba/orc face is named Esoqq, and he says that he's slain all of his enemies. He and Tholl get into a heated argument about who is more civilized and whether or not that's a good thing. Picard tells them the argument is pointless, and Tholl fires back with a question as to how long the Federation has been having issues with the Romulans.
"A long-ass time, fuck off," replies Picard.
Esoqq goes to the patio heater and takes a urinal cake. When he asks about it, Picard tells him it's food. Esoqq licks it, declares it poison.
"How long until you have to eat?" Picard asks him, as he threatens to eat Tholl.
"Three or four days," growls Esoqq.

There's a short scene here where Other Picard is talking to Crusher in her officer. He's apparently gone to her a month before his annual exams and actually asked to have it early.
"You're very healthy," Crusher tells him. "But why are you here?'
"Eh, you always cajole me into coming, I figured I'd give you a break from that for once."
She smiles and tells him he can go back to work.
On his way out, he turns and asks if she wants to have dinner with him tonight. She assumes it's casual, and that it'll be in Ten Forward, but he says no, in his quarters, which is more intimate.
"Well, aren't you full of surprises today!" she says.

Picard and Tholl start an argument as to whether escape is necessary. Tholl points out that they haven't been mistreated, so they should just stay put. Picard points out that Esoqq will starve sooner rather than later, so they should work together to get out.
"Whatever," shrugs Tholl. "I'm not helping you."
The other three go to the wall panel. Esoqq punches through the front piece, and Haro says she can rewire it to open the door. But when she does her thing, the door opens one inch, slams shut again, then some laser or something above the door bathes them in green light, and they writhe on the floor in pain.
"Told you so," says Tholl dickishly.
"Hey, thanks," says Picard's face.

Dramatic music! Commercial break!

Other Picard and Crusher have their date, and we advance the will they/won't they arc a bit. They dance around the idea of being together, which Other Picard says he wants, but Crusher says she likes just being friends for now. He put on romantic music and asks her to dance. She says she thought he didn't dance, and he replies that he does on special occasions.
So they dance, and talk some more, and then they kiss, but he abruptly tells her that she should probably leave. He's polite and doesn't seem upset, but he goes to the wall and opens the door and just stands there.
"Um, okay?" she says, confused.
She leaves.

We've now reached the point in every captive story where everyone turns on each other. Esoqq accuses Tholl being the captor, as he knew that messing with the equipment would get a person zapped. Tholl accuses Esoqq of being the captor, as he was the last to appear. Haro is accused of fucking up the rewiring, Picard is accused of ordering people around. Haro comes to Picard's defense, stating all of the stuff he's done, to no avail. The others don't care. They all argue and turn on one another, verbally.

Riker's Log, supplemental: "We're still 18 hours away from that pulsar, and now the captain has slowed us to half-impulse power. Nobody knows why."

Riker and Troi sit at a table in Ten Forward.
"This is fucking weird," says Riker. "Why did we just leave a mission to crawl toward a pulsar?"
"He does seem kind of detached," admits Troi.
Picard comes in and starts handing out compliments like candy. Then he buys a round of ale for the whole bar, which is extra weird, because I'm pretty sure everything in Ten Forward is free. He offers up a toast to "the best crew in Starfleet."
Then he starts then singing a fucking song and gets the others to join in. Worf and Geordi look weirded out and mumble the words.
"This is batshit crazy," Riker tells Troi.

Riker invites the senior officers to his quarters to discuss Picard's odd behavior. They each share the weird encounters they've had with him lately, and come close to comparing it to the episode where he was possessed by an alien ("Lonely Among Us"). When it's Crusher's turn, she tells them she had a strange date with Picard, and his physical results were pretty much the exact same as last time, which shouldn't be possible. She and Troi agree that he seems to be going out of his way to prove that he's not crazy, just so that they won't think that later. It's more than a little sociopathic, tbh.
Data points out that they haven't figured out what that energy spike was in Picard's quarters a little while ago.
"None of this is enough to justify mutiny," says Worf.
"Nobody is mutinying," Riker says firmly. "Right now, we're just exchanging info."
But there's an implied "... in case we have to mutiny."

There's a short scene here where the occupants of The Room are still arguing about who might be part of the people who kidnapped them. The other three want Picard to prove that he isn't the enemy, to which he replies that he cannot.
"We have to trust each other, but we can't prove if any of us is the enemy," he says. "We also can't prove if we're trustworthy. We just have to go with it."
And he tries to screw with the panel again.

The E has finally arrived at the pulsar, and Other Picard orders them to go in realclose. Sensing this could suck, Riker tells Worf to beef up the shields. Data reminds Other Picard that they can only hang out this close to the star for about 18 minutes before the shields fail.
"It's cool," replies Other Picard.
Riker asks to speak with him, and they go into the ready room.
"You're acting weird, and I don't want to have you relieved, but you're putting the crew in danger, so I will if I have to," Riker tells Other Picard.
And then Other Picard puts that final nail in the coffin for me: he pulls rank and gaslights Riker.
"Are you sure you're not the crazy one? I won't relieve you of duty if you go to sick bay and get a full exam to prove you're not."
Fuck off, Other Picard.

Esoqq gives Picard his scary-ass knife, which Picard uses to cut some wiring in the wall panel. Finished, Haro takes over, and her fiddling with it opens the door an inch again. She admits that she probably overloaded it, so Picard and Esoqq each grab one half of the door to pry it open. Picard commands Tholl to help them, and he does so begrudgingly, but when the door opens, it is onto a solid metal wall. No exit.
Tholl yells at Picard for wasting their time.
Picard considers Haro.

On the E, one of the shields has failed, and Data is using another to boost it.
"Take us in a lot closer," says Other Picard.
Data reminds him that they'll all get radiation poisoning and die, but Other Picard wants to be right on top of it, anyway.
"Yeah, not doing that," announces Riker.
Other Picard looks at him and relieves him of duty. "Mr Worf confine him to quarters."
Riker glances back at Worf, who takes his hands from his station, and stands with them behind his back.

Dramatic music! Commercial break!

We get a stand-off between Riker and Other Picard. Other Picard keeps trying to get Worf to take him away, but Worf ain't going nowhere. Riker tells Other Picard that he's putting the crew in danger, and he won't put up with it. Riker orders Wes to back the ship up, and Wes is kind of stuck in the middle - he wasn't at that meeting. He pauses before doing as Riker asked, because, you know, he doesn't want to die.

 So we're back in The Room, and Picard is done.
"We're not captives," he surmises. "We're lab rats. This is an experiment, and the thing we have in common is how we react to authority. Tholl is from a race that will simply bow down to whomever is in authority. in order to keep the peace. Esoqq is from a people who detest authority. I'm a Starfleet captain, trained to command. And Haro is a cadet, trained to take orders and defer to command. Then we're set a bunch of tasks that are kind of impossible. Esoqq can't eat the food, which makes him a threat to the rest of us. We work as a team to get the door open, and we find we're still trapped. We're in an experiment, and you -" he points at Haro "- are observing us."
She tries to protest, but he brings up that she knows about classified missions he did, that she mentioned that plague he just helped cure, and how the hell would she know about that?
She pauses, like Wes did, then tells him that he's right.
There's a flash of light where she was standing, and suddenly she's a completely different alien. Two more aliens appear.
For some reason, they look like Johnny Bravo.

The aliens get right to it: they "borrowed" Picard, Tholl and Esoqq and replaced them with replicas. Apparently, they have some kind of transporter than can make copies of people, complete with full brain scan and memories, and they used that to make duplicates.
"You mean an impostor is running my ship?" demands Picard.
"Not anymore," admits one of the aliens. "Our species are all linked telepathically, so we know that Commander Riker has taken over your ship. Along with having better transporters, we all have better ways of communicating."
Hmmm, not very smart to admit your evil kidnapping and replacement plot to your captives, then brag about how all your tech and skills are better. Especially considering that Esoqq is large, pissed off, armed, and probably hungry. Bet your shiny happy extraterrestrial ass tastes great with Chianti and fava beans.

The aliens admit that they'd like to continue the experiment, but they have a double-slit problem here where all of their subjects are now aware of the experiment. So they have to put them back. Each alien grabs a person, there's a flash of light, and The Room is empty.

Picard and his alien flash onto the Enterprise bridge. The two Picards size up, then one turns into another alien.
"Why were you using us to study authority and command?" Picard demands. He glances at Riker, who nods and presses some buttons on one of those little command centers next to the captain's chair.
"We don't have those concepts on our planet," says one alien. "We also studied how Esoqq's and Tholl's people deal with those concepts as well."
Riker looks at Data, who presses some buttons, and at Worf, who does the same.
These aliens are going on and on about their experiment this whole time, keeping them distracted.
"You can't imprison people and experiment on them," says Picard. "It's immoral!"
"Yeah, we've heard that," says one alien. "We plan to study that, too."

"Now!" yells Picard.
And a forcefield goes up around the aliens. They freak out. "Whhhhyyyy?"
"Because it was bitchy of you to declare that we're primitive because we communicate vocally. I was able to tell my crew with a look that I wanted to hold you here. Also, I too wanted to do an experiment. I wanted to see how you guys would react to being imprisoned."

Seriously? Fuck off.
They protest that they never meant any harm, and never harmed any of their subjects.
"Dude, imprisonment is injury!" yells Picard.
They don't respond. These dipshits keep whimpering and touching the forcefield, which clearly gives off tiny shocks.
Picard gives the sign to turn it off. "I hope you'll think twice about imprisoning people and experimenting on them. Also, we now know of your people and how to imprison you. Get the fuck off my ship."
The aliens disappear.

Picard tells Wes to get them to the Hood at warp 8. He asks Riker how things were going, how much his replica fucked up all of the shit.
"Crew is okay, replica was pretty close. Some weirdness, though."
"What kind of weirdness?"
Riker can barely contain himself. "Weeellll, I'm not really sure you're that good a singer."
"Singer?" Picard looks like a combo of pissed and startled. "I think I look forward to your report?"
The lift door opens and Crusher enters the bridge. She missed the aliens, the swap, and the doppelganger. She's certain that the guy she made out with is the guy in the chair.
She smiles at him in a knowing way, and calls him captain in a mildly suggestive tone.
He does a slow double-take, looking mildly uncomfortable.

They take off for the rendezvous.

This episode is not my favorite. I mean, I don't hate it, but it mostly ranks a "meh" for me.
As with many Star Trek episodes, the background story had a lot to do with how the episode turned out, so let's start there. "Yesterday's Enterprise" was expensive AF, so they had to make some cheaper episodes to make up for the fact that they spent beaucoup bucks on one episode. "Allegiance" and "The Offspring" were both written with smaller budgets in mind, which makes sense. With the exception of The Room, this might have been a bottle show, as The Offspring was.
And for the most part, the writers really liked this episode. They liked that they could explore Picard's character a bit, and have fun with Other Picard.
But this episode didn't do it for me, honestly. I found it a bit boring. I guess the Other Picard moment where he leads the crew in song was amusing, but the date with Crusher was awkward, and didn't actually further that will they/won't they arc, because that wasn't actually Picard, and how hideous would that convo between Crusher and the real McCoy  Picard be later? Ugh, that's like British comedy awkward.
I didn't really care for the other captives that Picard was with, either. Haro I found to be a bit too subservient. I know she didn't really exist, but it got a bit annoying. Tholl was obnoxious, kind of an asshole, and insisting that they do nothing and just hang out for the rest of their lives, because their captors had provided food and shelter for them, and had not physically harmed them.
One can be nonviolent, and not take shit from others, Tholl.
He was smug, too. Fuck smug people.
Esoqq... meh. I don't really have any feelings either way about Esoqq, though I do like the fact that he threatened Picard, but Picard responded by being concerned about him starving to death. So points to Picard, but that has nothing to do with Esoqq. Maybe he would be more interesting if we had encountered his species before, but he's a one-off, so I have even fewer reasons to care.
Truth be told, I barely recall this episode.

*******

Fun facts:

- This show has been compared to a Twilight Zone episode, called "Five Characters In Search of An Exit" and the TOS episode "The Empath."

- The song that Picard leads in Ten Forward is Heart of Oak, the marching song for the Royal Navy.

- This is only one of two times that Picard will drop in on the weekly poker game.

- This is the second time we see a Bolian (though technically Haro is not a real Bolian, she's another kind of alien).

- Esoqq's costume was later modified to become that of Morn on DS9.

- Picard references "Who Watches the Watchers" when discussing missions he has completed. This is how he suspects Haro of not actually being a cadet - the Mintaka III mission was something a first year would not know about.

- A reaction shot of Worf looking at the replica of Picard changing back into the alien was actually stock footage from "The Survivors." Worf is wearing a slightly different uniform in that shot.

- This episode was nominated for an Emmy for make-up.

Red deaths: 0
To date: 1

Gold deaths: 0
To date: 1

Blue deaths: 0
To date: 1
Unnamed color crew deaths: 0
To date: 127

Obnoxious Wes moments: 0

Legitimate Wes moments when he should have told someone to go fuck themselves: 0
To date: 0

Sassy Geordi moments: 0
To date: 9

Sassy Wes Moments: 0
To date: 0

Sassy Worf Moment: 0
To date: 6

Sassy Riker Moments: 1
To date: 11

Sassy Picard Moments: 0
To date: 8

Sassy NPC Moments: 0
To date: 0
Sassy Data Moments: 0
To date: 5
Sassy O'Brien Moments: 0
To date: 0
Sassy Crusher Moments: 0
To date: 2
Sassy Troi Moments: 0
To date: 4
Sassy Guest Star Moments: 0
To date: 2

Number of times that it is mentioned that Data is an android: 0
To date: 21

Number of times that Troi reacts to someone else's feelings: 2
To date: 23

Number of times that Geordi "looks at something" with his VISOR: 0
To date: 4
Number of times when Data gives too much info and has to be told to shut up: 0
To date: 2
Picard Maneuvers: 1
To date: 23
Tea, Earl Grey: 1
To date: 4

Uhura Selfie