ST:TNG Season Five, Episode Sixteen "Ethics"

ST: TNG Season Five, Episode Sixteen "Ethics"
Production Order: 16
Air Order: 16
Stardate: 45587.3
Original Air Date: March 2, 1992

A quick trigger warning here: discussions of suicide

We open in the middle of a casual conversation, and I love crap like this. These people do not power down after a shift. They're coworkers who talk about mundane, unrelated shit at work. (That being said, as much as I love the Borg, I would probably not enjoy a show set on a Cube. Unless it was done like The Office.... BRB, gonna pitch an Office-style Borg show to Netflix.)

Anyway, La Forge tells Worf that Troi was bluffing during their last poker night, and that's why Worf lost.

"No, that's really not like her," Worf insists.

They're looking for some kind of minor leak somewhere, and in between, Worf tries to convince himself that his hand was not strong enough to call.

"Your hand was fine, her hand was crap," La Forge argues, scanning stuff.

"How do you know what I had?" Worf demands.

"Y'all are playing with decks that are transparent in infrared light," says La Forge, tapping his VISOR.

YO. OUR MANS CHEATING AT CARDS.

La Forge still isn't finding the leak, and remarks that he should get a different kind of equipment. He walks away, talking to some others, and Worf continues down a line of big canisters, still scanning.

We can see from the POV on the upper shelving where the leak is coming from, based on the fact that one canister has partially iced over on the backside.

The lower, leaking canister beings to buckle, and both come crashing down on Worf, striking him in the back. The others rush forward, and La Forge frantically calls for a medical emergency to the cargo bay.

Worf wakes up on a medbay bed. Crusher explains that a leaking container fell on him.

Nurse Ogawa sighting!

He tries to sit up, then tells Crusher that the restraints on his bed aren't necessary, that he doesn't intend to bolt from sick bay.

"So about that," says Crusher gingerly. "Those containers hit your back and crushed your spine. It isn't possible to repair it."

Well, fuck.

Dramatic music! Opening credits!

Picard's Log 45587.3: "We pulled Worf off of active duty, and we're bringing into a neuro-specialist, but Dr Crusher thinks he may be permanently paralyzed."

Crusher meets Dr Toby Russell in the transporter room, and they greet one another warmly. Dr Russell tells Crusher that she read Crusher's paper on cybernetic regeneration, and our good doctor is stoked, as the paper went largely overlooked by the medical community. They seem pretty excited to be working together.

Russell tells Crusher, as they make their way through the corridor, that she's surprised at what little interest the Klingons seem to have concerning Worf's condition, and the type of medicine needed for treatment.

"Yeah, they have a cultural bias," Crusher admits. "When I asked about it, they said they usually let the patient die. So they have little to no research on neurological trauma."

Klingon neurology: the final frontier.

"Worf is struggling with his injuries," Crusher adds. "But he's a good guy, once you get to know him."

"Oh, um, I like to maintain distance with patients," Russell admits. "Like, as the ship's doctor, you need to get to know them, but I feel like if I take a step back, I can give you an unbiased opinion."

Crusher agrees that this is a good course of action.

OMG.

OMG, Y'ALL.

I paused the video and caught Riker making kawaii face.

Sassy Riker Moment: "You look pretty good for someone who's been eating sick bay food for three days."  

Okay, that was a solid joke, but I'm kind of sad that it still lands in the twenty-fourth century. Replicator food can taste like anything, but somehow sick bay food still sucks? Boo, replicator engineers. Get your shit together.

Anyway, Worf does not laugh. He asks Riker to sit.

(We get a Picard Maneuver here instead of a Riker one. Mixing it up.)

Right away, Worf hauls out the self-pity. "Thank you for seeing me in this condition."

Jesus. Okay, buddy. Rein it in.

"Meh," replies Riker. "There's no shame in being injured."

"Okay, but I'm not just injured. Dr Crusher thinks my paralysis is permanent."

Ah. This was not yet common knowledge.

Riker's face falls, and his cheerful demeanor evaporates. He apologizes, and when Worf asks for a favor, Riker fiercely replies that Worf should name it.

"I want you to help me die. There's a Klingon suicide ritual, the hegh'bat, and I need help to perform it."

"Whut?" asks Riker. "You're kidding."

"Nope," says Worf. "When a Klingon becomes a burden on his friends and family, and can no longer face his enemies, then he should choose to die. My life as a Klingon is over."

Remember in "A Matter of Honor," when Riker is talking to his Klingon crewmates on the Pagh, and Klag talks about how his father was captured by Romulans rather than killed by their hand, and now he will die useless and old, and he should have died? Same shit... different day. It's the idea that, once you have outlived usefulness, you no longer have a purpose (either self-imposed or societally). It's what the Kaelons were trying to avoid by creating a "maximum age" that one might reach in "Half A Life."  And avoiding uselessness due to infirmity was (kind of/part of) the object of genetic engineering on "The Masterpiece Society." The low down? We've talked about this a lot.

Less than ten minutes in, and we're getting heavy.

Riker is nonplussed. He stands up.

That equipment is giving TOS

Worf was not expecting this answer, and I feel for him. I've also made a comment about myself/my life, and thought I would get a sympathetic response from a friend, but instead got something completely different.

But it's because of their friendship that Worf decides that he should explain his reasoning better.

"We've been friends and colleagues for a lot of years now, and we've fought together. I want to go out with honor and dignity, but I need your help. Please."

Quiet dramatic music. Commercial break.

There's a cool scene next were Dr Russell and Dr Crusher talk about Klingon anatomy with a hologram of Worf's spine between them.

Russell remarks that she thinks Klingon bodies are "overdesigned" because they have redundancies of all of their vital functions. Crusher replies that the Klingons call it brak'lal, and she thinks it's freakin' sweet. (For the record, I do as well.) It kind of makes sense: you're a warrior race, and could die in battle. If you do die, it means your back-ups failed, too. You're hella injured. You gonna complain? No. You were probably meant to die, because someone did the job well enough. And the attitude that you're hearty enough to withstand most things, and brag about it? Kind of deserved there.

Russell points out that there's just more to go wrong with all of those redundancies, and I guess there's something to that.

She then takes Crusher to a machine she had brought on board and tells our CMO that it's basically a 3-D printer for DNA. You tell the machine what part to grow based on the DNA input, and it spits out a new one. It's called a genetronic replicator, and Crusher says she's read some stuff on the early research that Russell has been doing with it.

"Instead of fixing him up in little ways, we can just grow Worf a new spine," says Russell.

Crusher is surprised. "You've already progressed to doing this on humanoids?"

"No, this will be the first time on a humanoid," Russell says casually. "But I've done a bunch of holo-simulations."

Wow, a whole 37%

Sassy Crusher Moment: "Even a holographic patient would balk at those odds."

Then they both make some excellent points:

Russell: "We have to try it on a person eventually."

Sure...

Crusher: "Yeah, but it's a spinal column, and we don't know enough about Klingon physiology to detach the old one and reattach a new one."

In the end, Crusher admits that the genetronic replicator is awesome, and that the progress Russell is making is great, and the whole thing could revolutionize medical science, but right now, it's still in the early stages, and the risk is too great to Worf for her to sign off on it. She tells Russell that they'll have to use conventional methods this time.

Picard calls Crusher to the bridge, and Russell is left looking disappointed.

Crusher hits the bridge, and Picard and Riker tells her that they've gotten a distress call for a ship that needs medical help. They'll be at the crash site in 7 hours.

"The ship's complement is 23," says Riker, "but they were carrying 517 colonists."

"Well, fuck," says Crusher. "I need to convert all three shuttle bays into triage centers, and can you ask all personnel with medical training to report to me?"

They agree, and she leaves to set things up.

Riker asks Picard to talk in the ready room.

He is openly pissed off now, and kind of using Picard as a therapist. Which is not his job, but this dude does have a pretty good moral base, so.

In this case, Riker is struggling with the old, "that's against my beliefs, so you can't do that."

"They aren't against his, though, " Picard points out. "They're very much within his beliefs. You're coming at this like a human. You or I, we could live with a disability like this. Worf considers his life over, and his culture backs that up."

"I would be more okay with it if he wasn't asking me to participate," growls Riker.

"He's asking because you're his friend," says Picard gently. "If you take the personal beliefs part out, then you're just left approaching it as his friend. He wouldn't have asked if he didn't value your friendship."

"That's where I started," sighs Riker.

A lot of people are angry about this situation.

For instance, the very young son of a murdered woman, who was sent away to live with human grandparents for a while, and is now living on a starship with a paralyzed father who may also die. It must suck to be Alexander sometimes.

And now he's yelling at Troi, because he's certain that Worf wants to see him, but Troi is not letting it happen.

"That's not true," she says gently. "He's been very badly injured, and he doesn't want anyone to see him in that weakened state."

"That sounds like Klingon crap," Alexander spits. "My mom wasn't into that, and I'm not, either!"

"No, but it's very important to him."

"I just want to see him," says Alexander sadly.

I think maybe he's staying with her while Worf is in sick bay. It's not really covered where children go, or who is looking after them, if their parents aren't available for whatever reason, but he's definitely too young to just hang out by himself, and she suggests that he get ready for bed, so she may have picked up some babysitting duties.

"Your kid is pissed," Troi tells Worf in the next scene. "He's hurt and confused, and doesn't understand why he can't see you."

"You know why I left the instructions I left," he argues.

"Yeah. Klingon honor. But right now, I'm dealing with your terrified kid, and maybe instead of worrying about your honor and everything else, you start thinking about your child."

Girlfriend does not mince words. Then she turns and marches out of sick bay.

Drs Russell and Crusher approach him. They're here to map out his recovery for him. Crusher explains that they'll basically implant some relays that go between his muscles and brain, so that when he thinks about getting up and walking somewhere, the implants will facilitate that. 

"You'll eventually regain 60-70% of your motor control."

Worf tunes out about halfway through.

Russell then explains that they're going to start by putting what look like ankle monitors on his thighs. He'll train with them for a while to get him and his muscles used to the process, then they'll go in and implant the relays.

She puts one on and encourages him to think about moving his leg. He does so, and his leg jerks on the table.

Worf is not into this. He gives Crusher a "this is some bullshit" look, but she assures him that this was a great start.

Russell and Crusher assure him that he just needs to start working with the cuffs, but he gets mad and rips it off, flinging it across the room.

"No way. Sixty percent of my mobility is not good enough. I'm not doing this."

Russell jumps in, and starts pitching her method while Crusher frowns behind her.

Dramatic music! Commercial break!

If looks could kill, you'd be reeling from the pain

Worf clearly has some kind of private room in sick bay, because Russell and Crusher go back to sick bay to talk, using the front door. Maybe there are private rooms across the corridor?

Okay, yeah. Found a thing. Sick bay is massive, y'all. But we only ever see it piecemeal.

Oops, forgot to include the critical care/triage section in my yellow loop

Anyway, Crusher yanks Russell back into the main patient area.

"WTF? We talked about using genetronics, and decided that it was too risky," says Crusher.

"He doesn't want to do it your way, and I offered him an alternative to suicide," Russell argues.

Crusher sighs. She doesn't want to malign a colleague, but said colleague did just fuck up all of the shit. "I checked with Starfleet Medical, and you've been rejected for humanoid testing for genetronics three times now. You can't use my patient as a guinea pig."

"That's some red tape bullshit," says Russell.

But they're interrupted by Picard, who calls to tell Crusher that they've reached the crash site. She tells Picard that they're ready, and she starts to leave sick bay, when Russell grabs her arm.

"Do you need help?"

Crusher agrees, because this woman is still a doctor, and her patient load has gone from manageable to insane.

Troi takes Alexander to Worf's sick bay room, and they both surprised to see him standing next to the bed. He's wearing the cuffs on his thighs that he though were BS, but he seems willing to do it if it helps him save face in front of his kid.

"Deanna says you hurt your back," says Alexander.

Read: "Deanna spun me some bullshit lie, and you're clearly fine, as you're standing."

"I did hurt my back," Worf confirms. "We have a lot to talk about."

But the cuffs fail or something, and he crumples to the floor. Troi and Alexander rush to him, to help him, but you know that's not what he wants, and he growls at Troi to take his kid out of sick bay.

We go down to the triage centers in the cargo bay, where beds are set up in a grid pattern, and the patients are in various states of injury. We follow Crusher as she does quick visual scans of them, then encounters Russell, who has a blanket pulled up over one patient, indicating that he's dead. She's running a medical tricorder over the body.

"What happened?" asks Crusher.

"(Medical science)," replies Russell.

"From (medicine)?" asks Crusher, puzzled.

"No, he couldn't have that. I gave him (some other treatment) that I've been working with. Been getting good results with it."

Crusher is stunned. The audacity of this bitch. "You experimented on him?"

"The treatment I tried is leagues ahead of those other medicines," Russell argues.

"Yeah, but (medicine 2) would have saved his life!"

They're basically rehashing the earlier conversation in sick bay: Russell wants to test her theories on people in the hopes that there will be a better outcome, but Crusher wants her to use more conventional treatments that will result in a less risky one.

"He didn't die for nothing," says Russell. "I got really good data from him regarding the treatment I gave him, and we can use that to save lives in the future!"

"Cool, you gonna tell his family that?"

Y'all, now we know why she doesn't like to get to know her patients. 

They're at an impasse here, but only one of them is Chief Medical Officer on this ship, so Crusher relieves her of medical duty.

Dramatic music! Commercial break!

Crusher is in her office doing paperless paperwork when Picard drops by.

"So you relieved Russell of medical duty?"

"Yeah, she's nuts. Thinks it's cool to experiment on people because she has a hunch and a few good tests." Crusher is not having it.

"So you're probably not going to like this..." Picard starts. "... but what if we let her do that treatment on Worf?"

"Are you high?" she asks. "If we do my treatment, he could get 60% of his mobility back. If we do her treatment, he could die on the table."

"Sure," he concedes. "But he'll end it before your treatment. He knows about risks and dying. We could maybe convince him to put off the ritual until after Russell's surgery. If he dies on the table, then he dies. We do the surgery, it doesn't have the intended outcome, he ends it anyway. In most of these cases, it ends with his death."

"Cool, so I should ignore the Hippocratic Oath? Also, fuck that noise - dude is not committing the ritual under my care. I will post security Golds to his room to keep it from happening."

Like Riker, she's thinking like a human. And not even every human, because we can't agree how we feel collectively about suicide.

He scoffs. "How long are you going to do that? You can't watch him every second. And you're ignoring his culture and beliefs in favor of your own. He should get a say in his own life."

Riker enters Worf's room. He's got one of those floor-length grey ceremonial vests that Klingons like so much, and he drops it on Worf's feet, pulling out a wicked-looking Klingon dagger as he does so.

Worf steels himself. "I'm ready."

"Yeah, no," snarls Riker. "Been reading up on this ritual, and it sucks. I have to respect your beliefs, but I don't have to like them. How many of our friends and colleagues have died on this ship, fighting until the end? And you want to just do it? Have you considered how your friends might feel afterward?"

"It's not like I'm eager," Worf argues. "Are you going to help me or not?"

"I might have, because we're friends... but like I said, I've been studying the hegh'bat ceremony, and it turns out that I'm not supposed to. The right person for the job, according to Klingon law, is a family member, preferably the eldest son."

"Alexander is a little boy," argues Worf.

"But he's old enough to hold a blade, which makes him a man in Klingon tradition. You just don't want it to be him because you don't want to look at him."

Damn, Riker. This Alexander move is kind of bitchy.

"Nah, bro. I'm not helping you." Riker drops the knife on the vest and leaves.

In the next scene, Alexander has been paged to Worf's room. The vest and knife have disappeared from Worf's feet.

"So I've tried really hard to teach you about Klingon ways and traditions. According to Klingon tradition, I must kill myself after this kind of injury."

Alexander lowers his head. Seems like he kind of expected something like this. This kid is way too used to disappointment from life.

"But I'm breaking with tradition here," Worf says. "I'm gonna live. I still have to have a dangerous operation, and I could end up dying anyway. Just... I won't be doing it myself." He hands Alexander the knife. "Can you take this back to our quarters, please?"

Alexander takes the knife and starts to leave, but turns and smiles at Worf, who smiles back.

Slightly hopeful music! Commercial break!

Crusher's Log, supplemental: "I talked to Starfleet Medical, and I thought long and hard about how I felt about stuff, and we're going forward with the genetronic procedure."

Alexander and Troi are in Worf's room, and Alexander is eagerly telling his father about how they're doing multiplication in school. Nurse Ogawa comes in and says nothing, but everyone knows that It's Time. Worf assures his kid that they'll talk again soon, and Alexander leaves.

"If I die, he's kind of on his own..." says Worf tentatively.

"I'll get him to your parents," Troi promises.

"No, they're elderly. Um, would you consider maybe... ya know, raising my kid?"

Bro, you're doing this now? Like, after you considered the hegh'bat? And not before? You've had weeks of just lying there, and you didn't think to get your shit together on this?

Troi is stunned. "Me?"

"Yeah. Well, I mean, you were really helpful when he first came on board, and you're my friend, and I respect you. I think you'd do a really good job."

She squeezes his hand and agrees before leaving.

We go into surgery, and they begin by putting Worf's brain on life support. They have just under three and a half hours to get it reattached or the brain dies.

Yoo, Klingons got ridged backs.

Up in the ready room, Picard and Riker are having a very subdued, distracted meeting about routine ship shit. Riker's go-to worried look is generally dropping his chin in his hand, and his elbow on a table. Riker asks Picard if there's been any word on how things are going. Picard responds no. It's a pretty tense moment.

Down in surgery, Worf's spine has been removed and is being scanned by the 3-D DNA thingamabob, and props to whoever decided that, to make the spine look more like it came from a body and less like it's just some piece of sculpture, it should drip. Kinda gross. Good job.

Oop. The machine thing is beeping. Russell says it's having trouble scanning some part of the spine, and that she's seen this in previous simulations, but she was sure that she had corrected for it. She says she can scan it in manually, that it'll just take a little longer.

Ogawa tells them that they have one hour and forty-five minutes left.

We duck over to see Alexander and Troi playing some computer game. She's distracted and not really responding to the game, but in contrast, he seems to be engaging a little too much.

Later, they put what looks like a slimy tube in Worf's back, and I think maybe that's his spinal cord? It isn't clear. He's got less than 30 minutes to brain death at this point. They close him up and can see the treatment growing him new connections. Everybody in the operating theater is feeling pretty good.

Alexander has fallen asleep in Troi's lap.

Go time. Ogawa disconnects Worf from life support, and everything goes well. Until he starts crashing. Crusher immediately starts calling for hyposprays to get his blood pressure and heart activity going again, with Ogawa calling out results from the computer, and handing over the equipment as Crusher asks for it. Russell, though participating, looks stunned.

How? This has happened in 67% of her simulations. How is she surprised? Did she think it wouldn't happen that way because it was a real patient this time?

They use a cortical stimulator, and get a few seconds of brain activity before it flatlines. Crusher orders Ogawa to hit it again, but no activity this time. She asks her to do it multiple times, probably too many. She doesn't want to give up.

"Doctor," says Russell quietly.

Crusher realizes that she just can't pull it out, and calls it. She is not okay.

Crusher goes into the waiting room, where Troi and Alexander are. She's clearly been crying.

"I'm so sorry," she tells Alexander quietly.

"I want to see him," Alexander says forcefully.

Troi tries to deflect him, but he's pretty insistent, and honestly, I'm with him. People seem to constantly tell this kid no, or let him down. Give him one already.

So they let him into the operating room, where Worf is now lying right side up, and Alexander appears to be struggling with wanting to cry, and trying to be a stoic little Klingon, even though he hates that shit. He gives in and sobs while Troi holds him.

And then Worf flinches. Just the tiniest bit.

"What the hell..." says Crusher. She has Ogawa turn the vital signs monitor back on, and gives Worf a hypospray.

The monitor starts beeping.

"Guess those synaptic redundancies have synaptic backups, too," says Crusher.

Later, Russell goes to Crusher's office to eat crow.

She remarks that Worf's recovery is going well, but Crusher is playing Russell is Dead.

"Really?" asks Russell. "You're still not going to admit that my treatment is why Worf is alive, and that my research is good?"

Crusher looks up. She's got that contemplative look on her face, like she's thinking of where to hide your body after she absolutely kills the fuck out of you.

She then proceeds to quietly, murderously dress down Russell, noting that she gambled, and Worf won, and she's glad that he's okay, but that Russell is reckless in her methodology. That medical research is slow and painstaking, but done in a way that mitigates harm to patients. Russell is impatient, and barrels through. Crusher marks that medical science will probably congratulate Russell on her success, but that if Crusher were in her shoes, she doesn't think that she could accept the kudos.

Russell looks like she wants to reply, but then closes her mouth and leaves. Wisely.

We jump over to the physical therapy room, where Worf is learning how to walk again, and hey --

Klingon feet are ridged, too.

Crusher tells Worf not to rush, that his body is still getting used to being upright and Doing The Thing again. He crumples on the apparatus, and Alexander starts forward, but is pulled back by Troi.

"Remember, your dad said he wanted to do this by himself," she reminds him.

"That's okay," says Worf. "I would like my son's help."

Yaaassss, be a good parent, Worf.

"We will work together," Worf says to Alexander. They smile at one another.

And Worf sends this text to everyone he knows:

Oof, this one is tough. I like that we get two stories about ethics in one episode, but that they're completely different. (Also, we get two instances in the cold open about ethics: Troi bluffing about her hand, and La Forge admitting that he can see through certain decks. "Don't worry," he adds, "I only peek afterward.")

I'm going to assign Crusher and Russell to the A-plot because we see more of them than we do of Worf and Riker. In that instance, Crusher is forced to grapple with a colleague who - let's admit it - practices medicine in a Nazi doctor-like manner. To Russell, the ends justify the means. It's fine that her colonist patient died, because she still got good data to improve her medication down the line. She's just breaking some eggs to make an omelet, so it's fine, right? Regarding that patient, Crusher states that she doubts that this information will bring his family comfort, but why would Russell care? She doesn't get close to her patients to "form an unbiased opinion," but here she has a bonus: it will be Crusher that most likely breaks the news to that man's loved ones, not Russell. She doesn't have to cover any of the messy parts. She gets a small taste of it when Worf dies on the table, and she actually has to experience what that's like, but she's probably returning to her lab and holo-simulations after that. Crusher gets to pick up the pieces afterward, with Worf's physical therapy and continued care. Does Russell's way produce results quicker? Yes, undoubtedly. But she tends to steamroll over the Hippocratic Oath of "do no harm" in order to get there faster. Or, as Crusher put it, "you take shortcuts, right through living tissue." Even Starfleet could see that her practices were less than stellar, given that her request for humanoid testing had been rejected three times.

The bonus fuckery is that the surgery was successful. Did it rest entirely on Russell's research? Hell no. The procedure was hers, of course, but it technically would have failed, had it not been for Klingon "redundancies." It only worked because Worf "rebooted" after he officially died. On any other humanoid, their odds would have most likely fallen into that 63% failure rate. Crusher's procedure would have meant less risk, but also, a less that favorable outcome, from Worf's point of view. It has to suck for her that Worf chose (and Picard advocated for) the morally ambiguous procedure over her safer, more assured one. A rollercoaster for sure.

Then we have our B-plot with Worf and Riker (guest-starring Troi and Alexander). 

We can't fully know how we'll deal with it when faced with a future colored by disability, until we actually come to that bridge ourselves. We can only guess. DNR papers are signed or rejected on that guess. And we may change our minds. I definitely have.

Worf did here as well. And it was a risk. His culture suggested that it was better to live life entirely whole and healthy, or not at all, and he was willing to go that route, though it does seem that (from conversation) not every Klingon in this situation will choose the same. Ending it would have been clean (for him). Risky surgery, recovery, and possible disability are... less so. And it's possible that his recovery was long and there were setbacks (offscreen), and that there were times when he regretted the choice he had made, however briefly.

Because this show is sometimes serialized and sometimes not, they might have gone either way: showing his recovery over a longer period, noting that he was on light duty, or still on medical leave; or having the genetronic procedure really be the "miracle cure" that Russell proclaimed it was, and showing him back at work functioning perfectly. They might have even gone with Crusher's procedure and shown him with partial mobility, working to gain more. The possibilities are more open with a format like this to show such things.

And the writers did not shy away from showing the emotions involved with the process.

Klingon culture skewing toward ritual suicide lines up with not only what we know of Klingons, but coincides with what Worf seems to have been feeling. "This sucks and I want to be done" is valid. As is, "this looks like it might be too much going forward, and I'd like out." Ultimately, we don't know why he changed his mind. Was it Riker, talking about their friends going down fighting? Troi asking about Alexander? Thoughts of Alexander himself? It's possible that it's because the hegh'bat was never fully off the table. He was definitely of that mind when Crusher was describing only getting part of his mobility back. But, as Picard suggested, he might have still followed through with the ritual after Russell's surgery, if things went sideways. In this way, it might have been a safety net of sorts.

Riker's feelings on the matter are also explored. He struggles between being there for his friend by assisting him with one last wish, and being angry that he was asked to do so. He doesn't agree with Worf's decision, and tries to talk him out of it in a rather aggressive way. You know it's grief talking rather than actual anger, because we're like that, as a species. Sad that your friend might be dying? Go aggro on 'em. Once Worf has made the decision not to proceed with the hegh'bat, Riker's main reaction becomes worry: will his friend survive the risky surgery? What if he does, and his condition is actually worse, and it starts the cycle of possible suicide rituals all over again? Was any of Riker's anger at Klingon rituals, or honor, or selecting to Opt Out in the face of an uncertain future? I don't think so. I think it was just sadness that he might not have much time left with his friend, and he was being asked to facilitate that end.

This is a decent episode. It's one I don't often remember, because I saw it so late. (Have you ever watched hours of a show, over and over again, and then come to find out that there's an episode that you've never seen, because it either doesn't get shown often, or by chance, it was played at a time when you weren't watching? This is that episode for me.) But it's interesting nonetheless, because it expands character development and addresses some issues that we don't always talk about. We don't talk about them because they're uncomfortable. But we should talk about issues like disability and suicide, so that we can weather those storms better when we come across them.

Fun Facts:

- Ronald D Moore, who wrote the teleplay, found this episode tough to write. "I wasn't a big fan of doing medical shows to begin with, and that particular one had a ton of medical jargon and technology and medical ethics."

- Herbert J Wright suggested that nanobots be released into Worf's bloodstream to eat away the damage in his body, but this idea was rejected, feeling that the sci-fi elements would take away from the dramatic ones.

- It was important to the writers to show all of the viewpoints on euthanasia evenly here. Moore noted that culturally, Worf would have a very specific viewpoint, and the doctors would have others. Michael Piller noted that it was important not to spoon-feed the audience a solution and call it concrete: "I love grays. I don't love black and whites. I don't like answering questions so easily for the audience [...] with 'Ethics' again, we went out of our way not to make it easy for the audience to know what the right thing to do was."
- The scene where Worf and Riker first argue originally ended in a more heated fashion, where they get right in each other's faces. (Or, you know, Riker gets in Worf's.) This was edited out, as it was felt to be "too much." I gotta agree. It was stronger as edited.

- The surgery scenes were filmed with Michael Dorn's photo double, Al Foster.

Chip Chalmers directs the surgery scenes.

- The containers that fall on Worf are actually made of styrofoam.

- The scientific paper that Dr Russell references on cybernetic regeneration was one that Dr Crusher mentioned working on in "11001001."

- A similar Klingon ritualized assisted suicide will come up in DS9. In that ritual, a Klingon's spirit will be granted entry into Sto-vo-kor. With this ritual, it is not known.

- Both Director Chip Chalmers and Michael Piller felt that this episode succeeded, not only dramatically, but in giving balanced views to the subject matter.

- In the Star Trek novel "A Time for War, A Time for Peace," Russell and Crusher encounter each other again, and after a bristly argument, Russell chides Crusher for still not being able to let go of the situation, despite it being ten years later. Crusher notes that after the surgery, there was an initial chatter and publishing of papers, then genetronics disappeared from the conversation altogether.

                                              

Red deaths: 0
To date: 1
Gold deaths: 1 (Nah, I'm counting it. Dude was dead.)
To date: 1

Blue deaths: 0
To date: 0
Unnamed color crew deaths: 0
To date: 0

Sassy La Forge Moments: 0

To date: 2

Sassy Ro Moments: 0
To date: 3

Sassy Worf Moment: 0
To date: 1

Sassy Riker Moments: 1
To date: 2

Sassy Picard Moments: 0
To date:  0

Sassy NPC Moments: 0
To date: 0
Sassy Data Moments: 0
To date: 0
Sassy O'Brien Moments: 0
To date: 1

Sassy Keiko Moments: 0

To date: 3
Sassy Crusher Moments: 1
To date: 1
Sassy Troi Moments: 0
To date: 3
Sassy Guinan Moments: 0
To Date: 1
Sassy Guest Star Moments: 0
To date: 3

Number of times that it is mentioned that Data is an android: 0
To date: 35

Number of times that Troi reacts to someone else's feelings: 1
To date: 9

Number of times that Geordi "looks at something" with his VISOR: 1
To date: 3
Number of times when Data gives too much info and has to be told to shut up: 0
To date: 1
Picard Maneuvers: 3
To date: 13
Tea, Earl Grey: 0
To date: 6

Mentions of the number 47: 0

To date: 2

Orwin is a dragon

Star Trek VI :The Undiscovered Country (Part 1)

 Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country (Part 1)

Release date: December 6, 1991

Stardate: 9521.6

So long-time readers of this blog are aware of three things:

1) I am the Queen of the Clusterfuck

2) This often ends up involving weird tech issues, which means that

3) I am Newton Pulsifer

Here is what has conspired in the months since my last post:

- The charge cord for my laptop frayed. Seemingly out of nowhere. One day, it was fine. The next day, shot to hell. It gave me a partial charge, then died.

- Ordered a new one online. Plugged it in, charged my laptop once. Now there's the smell of ozone. "I think you fried the battery."

- Ordered a new battery. Charged my laptop again, but it did not charge. "It's probably the charge port," said Legolas. "My brother can fix it when we see him next."

- We moved halfway across the country to where Legolas' brother lives. (Not because of the laptop, we were moving here anyway.)

- Legolas' brother has not been available.

- "You can use my extra, older laptop," offers Gimli. Y'all, this laptop... it is so slow. It takes longer to boot up than it took for a website to load on landline internet in 1995. But it will allow me to write my blog.

- We are staying in temp housing where all of the utilities are covered by the "rent payment." Including wi-fi. The free wi-fi here is spotty as hell. 

- Star Trek 6, and all of their other movies, have left streaming services. ALL streaming services. "I can pirate it for you," offers Gimli. "But their servers have been overloaded because people don't want to pay for 50 streaming services, so sometimes it doesn't work."

This blog entry brought to you by a slow laptop, spotty wi-fi, and a pirated copy of this film, which sometimes just cuts out for no reason.

We're starting out with another memorial placard, to remind people that Gene Rod died, just in case you forgot, or you don't watch Next Gen, or you're just feeling sentimental. I guess it's nice. No birth or death dates though, which is a bit unusual.

The opening credits take about the same amount of time as the Enterprise making its way to the center of V'ger. I'm already bored, and we haven't done anything.

Fortunately, a big-ass explosion follows the credits, so at least there's that.

Captain Sulu's Log, 9521.6: "Finished my first three-year mission as the captain of the Excelsior. Heading home from the Beta Quadrant."

Noice.

I like that our boy Georgie got a promotion. And the writers stopped making him fall for every trap baited with drugs. Let the man drink his tea and make smooth jokes.

But here comes a huge energy wave from that explosion, to ruin his good time.

He yells for shields, but it's already pretty much on top of them. The ship rocks, and people fall out of chairs. Interestingly, we also see crew members falling out of bunks elsewhere on the ship. Don't see a lot of that kind of thing. I like "below deck" content. The bridge is nice, but I like to see other parts of the ship, too.

Once they drag themselves back into chairs, and get damage reports, science officer Dimitri Valtane calls out that the wave came from Praxis, a Klingon moon.

"Shit," groans Sulu. "They had an energy production facility there."

Oh, yay. Space Chernobyl.

Sulu asks the comms officer to call the Klingon High Command and ask if they need help, and oh, hey. It's Rand.

I know I don't like TOS Rand, but Films Rand seems to have gotten her shit together, and I like that Grace Lee Whitney was included. As of film 5, she was credited with the rank of Lieutenant, which is way better than her Search for Spock credit of  "woman in cafeteria" (fucking RUDE, y'all).

Valtane tells Sulu that he can't confirm the existence of Praxis.

"Fuckfuckfuck," says Sulu, and he has Valtane put it up on the viewscreen.

Oops. There's like, a chunk left.

"Garbled message from Praxis," announces Rand.

Holy crap, how?

The short communication shows an injured Klingon at a piece of equipment, and he tries to choke something out before the the whole thing ends in fire. It's then interrupted by some pre-recorded a-hole Klingon, Brigadier Kerla, speaking on behalf of the High Command. And just like with Chernobyl, he's decided to go casual.

"There's been a small incident on Praxis, but we're taking care of it. Don't cross the Neutral Zone, and don't violate the treaties. No bigs. Klingons out."

The Excelsior crew stands with jaws on the floor. Sulu smells bullshit.

"Oh, fuck that guy!" he rages.

A funny-ish moment:

Rand: "Do we report this, sir?"

Sulu: "Are you kidding?"

We hop back to the Alpha Quadrant, and head straight for San Francisco, home of Starfleet Headquarters. It's two months later.

The rest of the senior crew from the E are here (minus Spock and Sulu), and they're all kind of grumbling about this meeting that could have been an email.

"Um, why am I here?" Chekov asks Kirk uncertainly. He is not a Head Bitch in Charge at Starfleet.

They all sit around an oblong table with a bunch of other top Starfleet officials, and someone brings the meeting to order and announces the C-in-C.

(This is where Starfleet trips me up again regarding hierarchies in their system. I had to rabbit-hole down several pages of Memory Alpha to figure this shit out. The C-in-C is Commander in Chief and senior fleet admiral. He's basically top of the tops, and only answers to the President of the Federation of Planets, who is C-in-C of the whole kit and kaboodle. This C-in-C is named Bill. Yeah, I know. He doesn't get a last name, we only ever hear him called Bill. So, ya know... Head Honcho Bill, it is.)

Bill gets up and tells the group that this is a hella secret meeting, and then reveals that the Klingon Empire is probably only going to last another 50 years. 

Really? How do you know that, Miss Cleo?

But he doesn't say. Instead, he lets Starfleet's "special envoy" tell them.

Spock explains about the explosion and subsequent non-existence of Praxis, and how it's fucked up the environment of Qo'nos so badly that the planet will become unlivable in 50 years.

OKAY THEN, DRAMA LLAMA. NOT THE WHOLE DAMN EMPIRE. ONE FREAKING PLANET.

Anyway, the Klingons have a super-bloated military budget and they can't afford to clean up their atmosphere and run their military, so last month Spock met with the Klingon leader Gorkon to talk about peace and getting rid of the military outposts near the Neutral Zone.

The brass start talking: are they going to do away with the military branch of Starfleet altogether? The answer given is that peaceful shit like exploration and things will continue on, but maybe the military part might go away.

Yeah, I call bullshit. Starfleet only has a military branch because of the Klingons? Like, they've literally encountered no other aggressive people in their travels? Even if that were true, and they formed the military part because of the Klingon Empire, they wouldn't just break it all down and go home because the Klingons waved a white flag.

So then Admiral Cartwright speaks up, and rather than play nice with the Klingons, he suggests that Starfleet take the opportunity to kick 'em when they're down, and defeat the Klingons "once and for all." Geez, this guy could be friends with Worf. He straight-up calls the Klingons space trash. Like, that's not how Starfleet plays. Yes, they have a military branch, and like Picard, they do indeed take people like Worf into consideration, but they're willing to entertain the idea of olive branches more often than not.

But who is speaking up now? Why, it's Kirk, and he agrees with Cartwright!

"Klingons are not trustworthy, and we should take them down."

Okay then, racist.

Fortunately, Spock breaks in with logic: they should move forward with Gorkon's suggestion, lest other voices whisper Grima-like in his ear about going down in a blaze of military glory. And then he and Head Honcho Bill drop the bomb: Spock has volunteered the Enterprise, captained by Kirk, to go meet with Gorkon and escort them back to Earth for a peace conference. This explains why Chekov and "lower brass" are here.

Kirk is flabbergasted and tries to argue that ambassadors would do a better job, but Spock and Bill counter by saying that there are a lot of Klingons who will feel the same way that Kirk and Cartwright do, that they should just fight the Klingons to extinction, and that Spock has personally vouched for Kirk & Co to Gorkon.

Then Bill rushes the meeting to an end, because he doesn't want to fight about it anymore, or maybe he has explosive diarrhea or something. He's just like, "Okay, meeting's over. Hella classified, don't tell anyone." And he's gone.

There's a good Bones moment as they all exit.

Cartwright: (to Kirk) "I don't know whether to congratulate you or not, Jim."

Bones: "I wouldn't."

Everyone leaves, and it's just Kirk and Spock staring at one another from opposite ends of that table.

"What the absolute fuck," spits Kirk.

"There's an old Vulcan proverb," says Spock. "Only Nixon can go to China."

Was... was that a joke? Basically, because Nixon was so anti-communist, only he could open diplomatic relations to China and not be accused of "being soft" on communism. Kirk is Nixon. Mr Kobayashi Maru-gate. How apropos, Spock.

Kirk is not convinced.

"They are dying," says Spock quietly.

"Then let them die!" barks Kirk. He huffs for a moments, then says, "We were supposed to be able to retire in three months."

But that's not a good enough argument.

The senior staff get delivered the E, and there's a Vulcan helmsman there who Spock already knows, Valeris. Spock explains to Kirk that Valeris was the first Vulcan to graduate top of the class from the Academy, which seems... late? Vulcans are fucking smart. Why'd it take so long?

Did you forget that Kim Cattrall was in this movie? Lots of people do. Just so you know, I fucking hate her hair-do. The bob, bangs, and headband are fine, but she shaved the side of her head to "accentuate the ears," which is just... you know having black hair and a severe haircut already do that, right? I never knew how much I liked that little hair triangle in front of the ears until I encountered a situation where it was gone. (Oddly, there's no name for that little bit of hair that grows down in front of your ear. It isn't "sideburns" because that refers exclusively to facial hair, and it isn't "vellus," which is the peach fuzz that grows directly on the side of your face, also in front of your ears, but not the same.)

Anyway, here's WonderVulcan.

They get ready to leave, and Kirk tells Valeris to do one-quarter Impulse power. She turns to tell him that thrusters only are recommended while in space dock, and everyone's like, "ooh no, she kind of sassed him? She questioned the captain." Now, I don't like either of these characters, so when he gives her a gentle smile and says, "yep, I gave the order I gave," and she's forced to do it because he's the captain, and because he's an old-timer with experience, and WHO WOULD DARE TO QUESTION JAMES T. KIRK, I'm just like "who gives a shit, let's get on with this frickin' movie already."

Kirk gives Spock this smug smile that says "kids these days," and Spock shrugs at him. That moment was two minutes of my life that could have ended up on the cutting room floor, and this film would not have suffered.

Loveletter shot.

Kirk's Log 9522.6: "I don't trust Klingons, and I never will. They killed my boy, a grown adult I knew as a person for half a second. Spock thinks this will be historic, and maybe he's right, if I can only get out of my own way."

Kirk is wandering around his quarters, putting things away, looking forlornly at a pic of David on a shelf, basically talking to himself, and then VALERIS IS THERE.

She just appears in the open doorway without ringing the bell, which is rude af. Learn some damn manners, Valeris.

He even gets on her for it: "you could have knocked."

She has a Vulcan fangirl moment, and he tells her that she piloted well out of dock, and she cheerfully tells him that she's "always wanted to try that."

Ah, I see. Speeding out of space dock was a test: will you eschew Starfleet for captain's orders? Y'all, don't do that. Don't make an employee you just met prove their loyalty to you.

Hey, you want more Valeris in this next scene, even though we just saw her two seconds ago with Kirk? Well, now she's in Spock's personal quarters, too! Very cozy with the senior officers, will she have a girls' day with Uhura later? Build a hot rod with Scotty? Have a dinner-date with Chekov?

We get some exposition here: Spock was her sponsor to the Academy, and he's impressed by her career thus far. He has a painting of the expulsion from Eden hanging in his quarters that he says reminds him that all things end, then she asks him if he's recognized that the Federation has reached a turning point.  He tells her to have faith that the universe will right itself, then admits that this is his final voyage with the Enterprise, and he wants her to replace him. They briefly share a drink before all officers are called to the bridge.

The E rolls up on an Klingon cruiser, and for a moment, they don't know what to do. Raise shields? Kirk remarks that he's never been this close to a cruiser, and after a moment, decides that opening hailing frequencies is a better idea. Because, you know, he's escorting this ship to a diplomatic function, and not blowing it out of the sky in some kind of space skirmish. He introduces himself to the Klingon that appears onscreen, Chancellor Gorkon. Kirk is not warm, but he is courteous, and to the surprise of Spock and Uhura, invites Gorkon and his entourage to dine with them at dinnertime. Gorkon accepts, and Kirk says he'll arrange to have them beamed over.

They sign off, and on his way off the bridge, Kirk mutters to Spock, "I hope you're happy."

Not exactly an olive branch.

Valeris calls out to Kirk that they have some Romulan ale onboard, which might make the evening go more smoothly, and he commends her for "officer thinking."

Is getting wasted with an enemy a good idea, or a bad one? Guess we'll see.

Chekov spicy moment: "Guess who's coming to dinner."

Every time I watch this, my brain asks "Alan Rickman?"
No, brain. That is David Warner.

We go down to the transporter room when it's time, and I never noticed that the transporter crew is behind a screen, like when x-ray techs cover you in lead aprons, and run behind a shield. Is there fear of radiation with early transporters? It isn't really explained, and I don't recall transporter shields in the original E. They definitely aren't in TNG.

Anyway, Kirk goes down to meet the party with some of his senior staff, and the Klingons get beamed aboard. The camera does this thing where it starts at the bottom with those horned Klingon boots that I think are kind of stupid-looking, then it pans upward. Gorkon appears to be kind of intimidating, and he's using a cane that was absolutely the fang of some gigantic animal. But when they're all there, and he introduces himself to Kirk, he's genuinely nice. He's seen the writing on the wall. To survive, he has to make friends. And he's gonna go for it. He even thanks Spock for setting up the peace conference.

Gorkon introduces his daughter Azetbur, and much like Valkris in movie 3, I hate her hair. So far, we've seen three kinds of Klingon styling: TOS, TOS film, and TNG. In TOS, you mostly just had to wear the plain-ish clothes, have a Fu Man Chu mustache and be slathered in a lot of fake brown bottled tanning oil. In the TOS films, there's enough budget to give them forehead ridges and shiny clothes with pops of red, but they do weird shit with their hair. In TNG, they get to have actual hair that can just be hair, and the clothes have mostly been toned down to neutral leather-type "casual armor," which seems to be a combination of the TOS and TOS film styles of clothing. It's like, in the intervening years between TOS and TNG, the Klingon Empire shrugged and asked "who wants to go Panem Capitol style?"

Anyway, Azetbur is wearing the front half of a chainmail coif on her forehead, and I have to wonder if she walks two steps behind her father, clapping coconut shells together.

Next we get to see Brigadier Kerla, Gorkon's military advisor. He made that "everything is fine" Chernobyl video. He's just real tall, and he gets to have regular hair. Behind him is General Chang, Gorkon's chief of staff. We're supposed to be wary of Chang, because he has an eyepatch that appears to be bolted to his face. Like, I'm not afraid of this guy because he's handicapped.

"I've so wanted to meet you, Captain," he tells Kirk.

Kirk is taken aback. "I'm not sure how to take that."

"Sincere admiration, Kirk," butts in Kerla.

"From one warrior to another," Chang finishes.

Kirk is nonplussed. He considers himself to be better than the Klingons, but it's possible that they genuinely feel a kinship with him via their own values.

Kirk offers them a tour. There are two other Klingons on the pad that don't get names or lines, and they all just follow out. Two transporter workers wait for the doors to close before hauling out some shitty racist comments about how Klingons all look alike and smell, and only the upper management is allowed to talk, and SURPRISE IT'S VALERIS AGAIN.

She's very 

She stares the two racist guys down, then tells them to get back to work.

Let's all go to dinner, shall we?

The camera pans along the table, and we see the Klingons carefully watching and copying their Federation counterparts, as the dinner is set by human standards, and the Klingons are unaware of napkin rings. I kind of like that. Strangers in a new country being offered hospitality need to look to their hosts for clues as to how to proceed, and this isn't any different. Everyone gets some Romulan ale, and Gorkon proposes a toast to "the undiscovered country." When the entire table looks confused, he clarifies, "the future."

Spock recognizes the reference as Hamlet, and Gorkon says there's nothing quite like experiencing it in the original Klingon. Chang then quotes more Shakespeare in Klingon, the Klingons laugh, the Federation members try to, but they have no idea what he said. Kerla asks Kirk how they're drinking Romulan ale if it's illegal. Kirk replies that it's a benefit of being 1000 lightyears from Starfleet Headquarters. McCoy toasts Gorkon as an architect of the future, to which everyone raises a glass.

So far, so good.

But things start to unravel. Chekov says that the Federation believes that every sovereign planet has "inalienable human rights."

Azetbur makes a point I've been trying to make for years: "Human rights. The very name is racist. The Federation is a homo sapiens-only club."

And she's right. Has the human race come so far only to continue using exclusive terms like that?

Kerla voices concern that his people's culture will be destroyed with this possible nice-making. McCoy states flatly that it won't be, but doesn't offer evidence.

Chang pulls out the old "to be or not to be," and says that his people are asking themselves that question. "We need breathing room." His tone is light.

"Hitler, 1938," says Kirk.

Spock looks sharply at him.

Yeah, Hitler said a lot of shit, Kirk. Maybe don't draw parallels between him and diplomatic dinner guests.

Gorkon, who understands what Kirk said, replies evenly that it appears that they have a long way to go.

They take the Klingons back to the transporter room, and there are some weak, "we should do this again sometime" sentiments. They're all lined up opposite one another, as though they're about to play dodgeball. (Not gonna lie, I think the Klingons would enjoy the hell out of dodgeball.)

Gorkon steps forward and says quietly, "You don't trust me, do you?"

Kirk is silent.

"I don't blame you. If there is to be a brave new world, our generation is going to have the hardest time living in it."

Man, I like Gorkon. I like Gorkon A LOT. Here's a guy who recognizes that his old thinking patterns are going to need to radically change, that he needs to be able to embrace an enemy like a friend if his people are to survive, and he admits that he might not be up for the job. I also like that Kirk admitted to this as well, in his earlier log, where he tells himself or whoever is listening, that he needs to get out of the way of history. Change is difficult. Gorkon is up for the challenge, but is Kirk?

They exchange their goodbyes, and Chang jokingly quotes more Shakespeare at Kirk before they get on the pad and transfer back.

There's a huge sigh of relief from the E senior crew as soon as the Klingons are gone, and Uhura and Chekov sit on the pad and complain about the Klingons' table manners, which... just reminds me that they're comparing what they think of as good table manners to people who have completely different ways of doing things. Like, how burping at a meal is considered both good and bad manners, depending on where one is from.

Spock remarks that diplomatically-speaking, they had not done that well.

"Yeah, I'm gonna go sleep this shit off," mutters Kirk. "Let me know if there are more ways we can screw this up."

And McCoy, ever the drinker, wanders off in search of black coffee.

We briefly join Kirk in his quarters where he looks longingly at David's picture again and records in a captain's log that they screwed the pooch as far as diplomatic dinners go, and their manners kind of sucked, and he makes a note to the galley that they should never serve Romulan ale at diplomatic functions ever again. So much for Valeris' "officer thinking." He lies down on his bunk in his full dress uniform, presumably with the intention of never waking up again, but then Spock pages him to the bridge.

When he arrives, Spock tells him that there's a huge amount of radiation coming from the E.

"Why?"

Nobody knows.

"Valeris?" he asks. "Radiation surge?"

"No."

"Chekov?"

"Only the size of my head," bemoans Chekov.

And then, just like Valeris, a SURPRISE TORPEDO.

The E has fired on the Klingon cruiser. Pandemonium erupts on the bridge as they try to figure out if it really was the Enterprise who fired on the cruiser (it was) and why (dunno).

There's a brief scene of Gorkon and two others at a conference table on the cruiser, confused as their ship rocks.

A SECOND TORPEDO, and now there are Klingons running through corridors away from fireballs. The cruiser loses gravity controls.

"WTF?" Kirk yells over the comm system. "Scotty, did we just fire torpedoes at the cruiser?"

"NO!" yells Scotty. "I'm looking at our inventory, and we still have all of our shit!"

Kirk yells at Uhura to call the Klingons, and we see Klingons floating in the corridors and rooms of the cruiser, trying to get a handle on what is happening, while Uhura's voice echoes throughout the ship.

A pair of fully-suited figures in gravity boots transport to the cruiser. They make their way through the corridors, and shoot everyone they encounter. In the zero-gravity environment, everyone is thrown back while globules of magenta blood gush forward. 

Kinda sus sticker

"I can hear shooting and yelling," Uhura reports back.

The two figures finally find Gorkon, and shoot him as well. Then they wordlessly return to where they beamed on, and disappear.

The Klingons manage to get the aux gravity running again, and the bodies hit the floor. Blood splatters everything.

Kirk manages to get Chang onscreen, and Chang growls that he's coming after Kirk for betraying them.

"We didn't fire, though!" says Kirk frantically.

"Data banks say we did," Spock replies soberly.

The Klingon cruiser, weak and limping in space, comes about and powers weapons.

"Shields?" asks Valeris.

"Shields!" yells Chekov.

Quick-thinking, Kirk responds, "Surrender, surrender!"

The others are baffled, but Uhura frantically tells the cruiser that they're surrendering in an attempt to get the cruiser to not fire on them.

McCoy appears, because he's needed in this scene, and Kirk declares that he's going over to the cruiser. 

"Me too," says McCoy. "They might need a doctor."

Spock tries to go, because he dragged the E and her crew into this, but Kirk tells him to take the con instead, because he needs Spock to get them back out of this mess.

Uhura tells the cruiser that two are coming over unarmed, and Kirk and McCoy are forced to repeat that they are unarmed when they beam over and find themselves staring down the barrel of Kerla's blaster.

"We don't know what happened!" Kirk protests. "Help us help you."

Kerla hauls Kirk and McCoy through the ship while other crew members carry away dead bodies. They end up in the room where Gorkon was shot.

"WTF happened?" asks Kirk.

"You fired on us!" yells Chang. "You aimed for the gravity, and then two of your people beamed aboard in gravity boots and shot the place up!"

"Do you have a doctor?" asks McCoy.

"Not anymore," snarls Chang.

Azetbur gives her permission for McCoy to look at Gorkon, then they haul him up onto the table for better lighting.

But it's no good. Gorkon is barely alive, losing blood, and McCoy realizes with horror that virtually none of his equipment works because Klingon anatomy is completely different. His suturing device is not closing the wounds. Frustrated and running out of options, he sees that Gorkon has gone into arrest and climbs onto the table to do CPR. It works for about 30 seconds, wherein Gorkon has just enough time to whisper "don't let it end this way," to Kirk, before dying.

Chang arrests Kirk and McCoy for assassinating Gorkon.

"He tried to save him," says Kirk weakly, as they're hauled out in handcuffs.

Back on the E, Uhura looks up from her earpiece. "They've been arrested."

Spock springs into action. "Okay, I'm captain of this ship now, Uhura call headquarters and update them, ask for further instructions. We have to figure out what the hell happened here tonight. We fired on the cruiser."

"There's no way," objects Scotty.

"Well, we did," says Spock.

"But we need to get the Captain and Dr McCoy back," says Valeris. "We can't let them be taken prisoner back to Qo'nos."

"We can't fire on them, armed conflict was what we were looking to avoid here," Spock points out.

"What if we can't figure it out?" asks Chekov.

"Then we have to leave it up to the diplomats," says Spock, disappearing into the lift with Valeris and Scotty.

No dramatic music! But end of Act 1!

Meanwhile, back at Federation Headquarters, the president of the whole kit and kaboodle is arguing with a Klingon ambassador, Kamarag. The ambassador feels that his people are owed the right to arrest Kirk and McCoy, and have them stand trial for the murder of Gorkon. The president disagrees, and instead, asks Sarek for his opinion.

"Not gonna lie," says Sarek. "I think the Klingons have that right, under the interstellar law they quoted."

The president looks at Nanclus, a Romulan ambassador. "I agree with them. The law is pretty clear here," Nanclus replies.

Gotta say, I do too. From the POV of the Klingons, Kirk and McCoy are guilty. Do we know that Kirk didn't fire those torpedoes, and McCoy tried to save Gorkon? Of course. But interstellar law says that the Klingons have the right to charge them. So they do.

It's three against one, and the Federation president begrudgingly admits that he is not above the law. He won't extradite Kirk and McCoy back to the Federation.

Back on the E, the ship has been ordered back to headquarters on the double, and Uhura flings her communicator away from her in frustration, reporting to Chekov the news.

"We can't leave them," Chekov objects.

"*cough cough* sabotage *cough cough*," suggests Valeris.

Uhura pauses. "Oh man, Chekov. Our shit's broken."

"Oh nooooes," he replies.

I mean, you could maybe check with Spock first. He'd probably get on board.

The president's office is now full as he speaks with Azetbur via screens. He starts to offer her condolences on her loss, but she cuts him off.

"I've been named chancellor in my father's place."

I don't recall it working that way, but maybe the High Council made an emergency decision to pass it down the line. Go on.

"The long and short of it is, that you want this peace conference to continue, but if it's going to happen, we won't be extraditing the prisoners. And you won't attempt to rescue them. Or we'll call that shit off and declare war."

Sarek is sitting in front, and he lets a small, inaudible reaction slip. He was involved with this thing with the Klingons as well, and feels responsible, because he pulled Kirk and the E into it along with Spock.

"We're... gonna let you do the thing," says the president hesitantly. "We hope you'll be able to join us in a week here for the conference."

"Yeah, the conference now needs to be on neutral ground, and the location be kept a secret," Azetbur insists.

Ugh, that's going to suck for whoever is doing the catering at the new location.

Everyone signs off, and we switch over to Azetbur's ship. Her advisors are telling her (in Klingon) to go to war with the Federation, or they'll become slaves. She replies that war is "obsolete, just as we are in danger of becoming," and that they need to go forward with peace, as her father wanted.

"Your father was killed for what he wanted," Chang tells her in Standard.

She speaks to the others in Standard as well. "We're going with peace here. But Kirk will pay for my father's death."

(Big ups to Memory Alpha here. The site I am using to pirate this film is spotty with subtitles, and doesn't always translate Klingon, which makes it harder to watch.)

I have to say, she's being smart about this. I don't like Azetbur, she rubs me the wrong way. In a film where you should be rooting for Kirk, she should be the villain, right? But I don't like Kirk. And even if I did, girlfriend has a legal right to charge him in her father's death. It's really smart of her to blame Kirk and McCoy only for this murder, and not the entire Federation. The Klingons still need peace, or they'll "become obsolete." Declaring war on the Federation will all but make them extinct, and won't solve their problem of having a dying homeworld to fix. Her advisors may want war, but she recognizes that peace is the correct course of action to save her people.

We go straight to the trial, which is a big ole MOOD. The space it's taking place in is some kind of windowless underground chamber, with a hole that lets in moonlight. The moonlight forms a spotlight on Kirk and McCoy, who are standing on a short platform in the middle of the floor, holding translation machines to their ears, as the trial is being conducted in Klingon. There are steep viewing boxes going all the way up and around, filled to the brim with Klingons, and a small box where the translators sit. The whole thing is being broadcast back to the Federation president's office, where several people are watching, including Admiral Cartwright, the guy who wanted to declare war on the Klingons and just wipe them out.

Chang is running the show, but is not the judge. He's the prosecution. Fortunately for me and these iffy subtitles, Chang begins in Klingon, we go to the translation box to hear what they're translating to Kirk and McCoy, then the film switches over to English so I won't have to scan back through Memory Alpha, giving the impression that they're still speaking Klingon.

Then we see that this trial is also being broadcast like television - I guess anyone can tune in? The Enterprise bridge crew is watching.

Because it isn't completely explained, and is kind of confusing, let me clarify one thing: Michael Dorn, who plays Worf on TNG, is playing Colonel Worf here, an ancestor of TNG Worf (Rozhenko), and the guy for whom TNG Worf was named after. Colonel Worf appears to be the public defender for Kirk and McCoy. And he's doing a pretty good job, so you know this isn't some kind of drumhead bullshit.

The first witness gets up and says that he and the others were working when the gravity shut off, and two people in Starfleet uniforms walked onto their ship and started killing Klingons.

"How did you know they were actually Starfleet members, and not others in the Starfleet uniforms?" asks Col. Worf.

The judge shoots this down, telling Worf that they're dealing in facts, not theories.

Can I object? Because that was a good question. Literally no one but the peeps in those suits knew who the peeps in the suits were. Without anyone to charge directly, they're charging Kirk, the captain of the ship, insinuating that he either planned the assassination, or should at least take responsibility, as he was in charge of the ship. (They think McCoy had a direct effect on Gorkin's death, so he should technically be tried separately, but I digress.)

Then Worf asks the witness how the suspects were walking through the ship with no gravity. Magnetic boots, the witness replies.

Spock takes notice. This is the first he's hearing of gravity boots.

Chang specifically asks McCoy about his medical status.

McCoy joke: "Aside from a touch of arthritis, I'd say pretty good."

He gets a laugh out of one random Klingon in the audience. Tough crowd, but at least one guy appreciated it. McCoy then tells Chang that's he's been a ship's doctor for 27 years, and that he gets to retire in three months.

"Yeah, you drank a lot of Romulan ale at dinner that night," says Chang.

"Um, we all did?" replies McCoy in a duh voice.

Chang takes a different tack: "Was the Chancellor alive when you started working on him?"

McCoy admits that the Gorkon was barely alive, but that the damage was too much, and that he and his equipment were not familiar with Klingon anatomy. Chang suggests that McCoy is old and incompetent as a doctor.

McCoy pleads with him: he tried to save Gorkon, the "last, best" hope for peace between their peoples.

They let the witness go, and Chang turns to Kirk: did he not plan to take revenge for the death of his son at the hands of the Klingons?

Kirk is appalled at this suggestion, and Chang plays the captain's log for the court, the one where Kirk says that Klingons are untrustworthy, and that he blames them for David's death. It's pretty damning. The audience is pissed.

"Hey," interrupts Worf, "Kirk's political views don't come into play here."

"They do, though," says Chang. He launches into a recitation of Kirk's spotty service record; of his going above or around superiors or ignoring orders; the fact that he was demoted from admiral.

"Those things are true," Kirk admits.

"And were you obeying or disobeying orders when you assassinated the chancellor?" demands Chang.

Worf objects all through here, but the judge is A) biased; and B) trying to keep the peace in his courtroom.

"I didn't see what happened," Kirk points out. "I didn't know he had been assassinated until we boarded your ship."

"You're in charge of the ship," says Chang silkily. "Do you take responsibility for your people? Even if they carried out an assassination?"

"That's a set-up!" yells McCoy.

"Don't answer!" adds Worf.

But the judge tells Kirk to answer.

He pauses, then states that, as captain, he takes responsibility for the actions of the people on his ship.

Spock is surprised.

On the Excelsior, Sulu's bridge crew watches the trial, and he tells Rand to message the Enterprise and offer their help.

The judge pronounces Kirk and McCoy guilty of their charges.

Worf tells the court that he wants it on record that the charges are purely circumstantial. It's okay, Colonel Worf. You were a good lawyer. Shit was stacked against your clients.

The judge hands down a sentence: in an attempt to keep the peace, he will not sentence them to death. The audience is not pleased. Instead, he is sending them to the dilithium mines on the penal asteroid Rura Penthe. It is a life sentence.

The reaction on the E bridge is not good. Rura Penthe has a reputation, as evidenced when Scotty remarks that it would have been better had they been given death sentences.

Spock asks Valeris to play him the torpedo video again. It's pretty clear that it came from the Enterprise.

"No way!" Scotty objects again. "We have all of our torpedoes!"

Spock quotes Sherlock Holmes (but claims that it's an ancestor) that, when you've examined the probable, whatever is left, however improbable, must be the answer. "If we didn't fire, and they didn't fire on themselves, then it must have come from someplace else."

"There were no other ships," Chekov points out.

Spock starts walking them to his theory. "There was a radiation burst."

"From the Klingons?" asks Uhura.

"Nope, too far away. Maybe it was a ship beneath us."

"The Klingons would have seen it," says Scotty.

"You sure?"

"Bird of Prey?" asks Valeris.

But how could that be, as Birds of Prey cannot fire when cloaked, and the ship would have to be cloaked to not be seen by the Klingons?

"This is nuts!" yells Scotty. "That can't be done! Are we going to go to Starfleet headquarters and tell them that there's some impossible, invisible new weapon out there, and that's why Kirk is innocent? They'll think we're trying anything to get them free!"

"Pretty much," says Spock. "We can't go to them with a theory."

"Why would the Klingons fire on their own guy?" asks Uhura.

"Good question," Spock acknowledges. "We need to find proof to take to Starfleet. Valeris, you're in charge of that investigation."

"Okay, wait," says Chekov. "If the killers were on this other, cloaked ship, then they beamed over from there, and not here."

"Records say they either beamed over from here," Spock says, "or they altered the records from here. Either way, we need to look here."

"For what?" asks Chekov.

Spock looks at Valeris.

"Two pairs of gravity boots," she says simply. 

Gonna pause here, at roughly the halfway point. We'll pick up again next time at Rura Penthe, and watch Kirk's wet dream, where he fights himself.

Fun Facts:

- This film came very close to not getting green-lighted. Movie 5 had gods-awful box office numbers (I wonder why!), and Paramount had had a series of films that were expensive flops. But they also didn't want the series to end with the crapfest of Final Frontier, so they made Star Trek a deal: the movie 6 budget was not to exceed the movie 5 budget, even by $1. Harve Bennett proposed a Starfleet Academy prequel, which would have been far cheaper to make, but was met with resistance from Gene Rod, the fanbase, and the original cast. By the time it was scrapped, Bennett had sunk 18 months of pre-production into the prequel film. In frustration, he left Star Trek after 10 years with the franchise.

- After Bennett left, Paramount president Frank Mancuso Jr turned to Leonard Nimoy. He wanted an original cast film. Nimoy suggested a parallel of the Gorbachev/Perestroika/Glasnost situation between the Federation and the Klingons. Mancuso liked this idea, and Nimoy requested that Nicholas Meyer (director of move 2 and writer of movie 4) be brought on as co-writer and director.

The cast with Nicholas Meyer

- When Nimoy contacted Meyer, Meyer was in the UK shooting another film, "Company Business," which had a similar Glasnost theme. Meyer felt like the studio butchered the story he wanted to tell with "Company Business," and decided that he could tell the story better with Star Trek. Interestingly, Kurtwood Smith (who played the Federation president) also appeared in "Company Business."

- Meyer had originally gotten along well with both Harve Bennett and Gene Roddenberry, but after Meyer largely re-wrote the limp movie 2 script and included more militaristic aspects of Starfleet, Gene got angry. It didn't gel with his vision for Starfleet. (Meyer declined to work on movie 3 as he hated the idea of Spock being brought back to life after the beautiful death scene in movie 2.) They also clashed over Saavik, a Meyer character. Meyer wanted to take her in a certain direction in this film, and Gene disagreed. Meyer was annoyed because he felt Saavik was his character to do with as his wished, and Gene was essentially without power when it came to the studio. Things were being shown to him as a courtesy at this point. In the end, Saavik as a character fell through for unrelated reasons, and it became moot.

- Viewing this film was one of the last things that Gene Roddenberry did before he died. The film was mostly finished, and he gave it a thumbs up initially, but decided later that he disliked the thread of racism toward the Klingons. He had his thoroughly-hated lawyer Leonard Maizlish start legal proceedings against Nimoy and Meyer to get 15 minutes of the more militaristic scenes cut from the film, but Roddenberry died two days later, and the proceedings were dropped.

 - Outside of the original cast, the only other actors to play in both this film and the first were Mark Lenard, (who played a Klingon captain in TMP, and Sarek here) and Grace Lee Whitney, who played Rand in both films.

- There seems to be some confusion here as to whether Rand is a Lieutenant commander here, or a Lieutenant junior grade.

- Grace Lee Whitney was brought back to the films after Gene Rod admitted that his firing her from the show was "a mistake." Her Star Trek credits ended up being 8 TOS episodes, four bit cameos in the films, and an episode of Voyager. She also participated in several fan films.

- Star Trek attempted to give Head Honcho Bill a last name at least twice:

    -In the novelization of this film, he is named Admiral William Smillie.

    - Bill is played by Leon Russom, who will later appear as a different character, Vice Admiral             Toddman, in DS9. Some Star Trek games have listed Bill as being Bill Toddman, to draw that             connection between the two characters.

- The little coffee table on the bridge of the Excelsior actually hid the apparatus that was used to shake the set when the ship went through the energy wave.

- When Sulu drinks his tea, the cup has a lovely inscription of USS Excelsior. When it falls off the table and shatters, there are no markings on the cup. The prop department loved this little cup so much that they didn't want it damaged, so they smashed another.

- Kim Cattrall initially turned down this movie because she had decided that Star Trek did not produce strong female roles, and was not interested in being another "pretty face." She accepted the role when she learned that producers wanted her to develop the character. Valeris' hairstyle was her idea, as well as several other key points in development.

- Kim Cattrall had initially auditioned to play Saavik, but was turned down for the role. When Nicholas Meyer wanted to bring Saavik back for this film, he only wanted Kirstie Alley. But Alley was very popular on Cheers, and her asking salary by then was too much. Meyer then decided that, if he could not have Alley, he would create a new character to take her place. Robin Curtis, who also played Saavik, was disappointed that she had not be considered when Alley was not available. Part of Cattrall turning down this film initially was because she thought she was being asked to play Saavik, whom she considered "just a girl."

- Lol, MASH Easter egg:

- Chancellor Gorkon was played by David Warner. If he looks familiar to you, you have a better eye than I do. He played Ambassador St John Talbot in movie 5. He'll also play a key Cardassian role, Gul Madred, in season 6 of Next Gen.

- The blue food at the dinner party scene was considered inedible by the cast, and Nicholas Meyer finally offered them $20 for each bite they took. William Shatner made $240 before he threw up. (The blue food was dyed squid.) No one else was able to swallow it.

- In the original script, the dinner party scene was supposed to wind up nearly ending in a fist fight. Cuts were made to the final film, and the dinner party ended up being just uncomfortable.

- Spock quotes Sherlock Holmes, and claims that it was said by an ancestor of his, leading some fans to wonder if Spock might be distantly related to Sir Arthur Conan Doyle via Amanda Grayson. (Sherlock said the quote, but it was written by Doyle.) Honestly, I think the guy who claimed that "only Nixon could go to China" was an old Vulcan saying was just fucking with them, in a similar (but less goofy way) to Chekov continually claiming that certain non-Russian things are really Russian.

- Between all of the characters (but mostly Chang), Shakespeare quotes came from the following plays: Hamlet, Julius Caesar, The Tempest, Romeo and Juliet, Richard II, The Merchant of Venice, King Henry V, and King Henry IV (Part II).

- This is the last production to feature the entire TOS crew, but the final screen-time for DeForest Kelley and Nichelle Nichols. The others will be featured in other shows and films.

- This is the first canon mention of Sulu's first name, Hikaru. It had previously been used in novels, and approved by both Roddenberry and Takei, but had not been used in the shows or films until this point.

-This film was nominated for two Academy awards, for make-up and sound effects. It was nominated for a Hugo award for best drama, and nominated for five Saturn awards. It won the Saturn award for Best Science Fiction Film.

- This is the first film to confirm that Kirk's middle name is Tiberius. It had been previously mentioned in the TAS episode "Bem." (Haters who claim that TAS is not canon can eat me. You can't claim it's not while simultaneously picking out from that series that things that you would like to be canon.)

- Rene Auberjonais (who plays Odo on DS9) was cast to play Colonel West. He filmed his scenes, but they were later cut, as Gene Rod did not like the ideas that the character was presenting. The scenes were later re-added to certain re-releases into new media formats, but were cut again when re-released on Blu-ray.

- West wears an admiral's rank, but this is not correct. The Naval equivalent of a Colonel is a captain. The reason why there is one instance of a non-Naval rank in Starfleet is because Gene had toyed with the idea for years of the possibility of Starfleet also having an Army and/or Marines branch. Having a colonel was Star Trek's version of dipping their toes in the water, but the idea never appears to have gone anywhere.

- West was meant to be a caricature of Oliver North of the Iran-Contra Affair. Auberjonais was a friend of writer and director of Nicholas Meyer, who wrote the character to be a political jab at North.

- The scenes of West that were cut included him presenting a plan to the president to rescue Kirk and McCoy, and which was given the thoroughly unimaginative name "Operation Retrieve." West gives this presentation with Admiral Cartwright, Nanclus, and Sarek in the room. The president rejects this plan, as he feels it would have sparked a war with the Klingons. West, Nanclus, and Cartwright all make the case that the Klingons are in a weakened position, and a war would be an easy win. The C-in-C then enters and tells the president that Kirk has saved their planet previously, and the president replies that Kirk can save it again, by standing trial. 

- The President of the Federation in this film is an unnamed Efrosian.

- Michael Dorn found out that he got the part of Colonel Worf when Meyer and Herman Zimmerman happened to be walking by the TNG soundstage and told him.

- The original script featured a prologue, which would catch the audience up with the characters: Kirk was back together with Carol Marcus; McCoy was showing up drunk to medical celebrity events (as a form of protesting the hypocrisy of it all); Uhura was a radio show hostess; Scotty was an engineering professor; Chekov was competing and losing in grandmaster chess tournaments; and Sulu was working as a cab driver on some backwater alien planet. (Of those, I only like McCoy's prologue - because it seems in-character - and Scotty's, which has a bit of dignity. In the actual film, Uhura states that she should have been chairing a communications seminar at the Academy when they called her to that top-secret meeting. I like that better.) The prologue was scrapped altogether when they discovered that it would have been too costly to film.

A storyboard of Scotty's prologue "classroom"

- The line "Guess who's coming to dinner?" was originally an Uhura line, but Nichols refused to say it, as it referenced the Sidney Poitier film of the same name, and she felt the line was too racist. It was given to Chekov instead. Another Uhura line "Would you let your daughter marry one?" (in reference to the Klingons) went straight into the trash, as she also refused to say it.

- Brock Peters (Admiral Cartwright) also struggled with the racist overtones of this film, and the fact that he had to say the line "bring them to their knees," as this was a line that had been used in other films against Black people.

- Most Star Trek productions are met with budget crises, and movie 6 was no exception. When Meyer turned in his budget proposal, Paramount was under the guise of one guy in charge. By the time he got back from the UK, ready to start pre-production, it was under the eye of another, who turned his proposal down. The prologue got the axe, and on-location filming in Alaska (to simulate Rura Penthe) was off the table. Sets were recycled, TNG builds were redressed (as TNG was on summer hiatus), and models were built on the private dimes of crew. Some of the cast and crew even agreed to partial deferment of their wages.

- It was even suggested that cutting ILM for special effects might save them money, and selecting a cheaper company. But this is what had happened with movie 5, and the effects were abysmal. No one wanted that. In the end, the special effects were trimmed to 51 from 115. (Thirty of those originally cut effects would later be added back in, as the film made no sense without them.)

- Even with all of these trims, the Head Bitch in Charge of Paramount told Meyer that the cuts were not enough, and he needed to make movie 6 for the same budget as movie 5. It could not be done, and the Head gave movie 6 the axe. So what happened? Yet another new Head Bitch in Charge! In what the media was calling "The Studio Shuffle," Paramount had recycled through numerous Heads over a short period of time, essentially going through them like a tiny island nation goes through dictators. Stanley R. Jaffe, the Paramount interim president, told Meyer to make his movie. They would find him the money.

- The biggest set expense was the bridge. The studio had needed the room between films, so put the bridge set outside for storage. It had been completely destroyed in some freak weather, and only the turbolifts survived. In the end, they had to rebuild the entire thing, and use it for the bridges for both the Enterprise and the Excelsior.

- Shatner had wanted to direct this film. Remember that weird contract clause that Shatner and Nimoy had, that said that whatever one got, the other was entitled to as well? Nimoy had, at this point, directed two films to Shatner's one. And the one that Shatner had done was the bucket of elephant snot known as Final Frontier, and he wanted to "redeem" himself. Nimoy had originally been offered the director's chair for this film, but had given it instead to Meyer. 

Tummy rub, please