Season Two Overview

So I finally got one of those "make money while blogging" offers in my email, and I laughed out loud. It started out with "we noticed your blog." No, you didn't. You noticed that I write a blog, and that I get more than five readers a month. Then they went on to ask if I would review a product on this blog. Now, if ThinkGeek asked me to review say, a phaser keychain with light-up action and sound effects, I would consider it. If a tea company offered me a sampler pack, I'd think about that as well. But it wasn't either of those things. It was for weight-loss supplements, something that has nothing to do with the subject of this blog. Really, how was I supposed to even work that in? "Taking these weight-loss supplements will help you to look like one of Kirk's Old Friends"? Bitch, please.
In case you were wondering, no, I'm not being compensated for any part of this blog. I buy all of the tea myself. And frankly, if I was being compensated in some way, I'd let you know. I'm really big on transparency. Also, I will never take on a review where someone compensated me to specifically praise that product or service, regardless of how I actually felt about it. When you tell people that you're reviewing something, you have a responsibility to give them your honest opinion. You may not agree with my opinion on things, but I assure you that I will never When Harry Met Sally you.

*******

Now, let's get down to business!

Admit it: that's exactly how you finished that sentence.

Roomie admitted when I started season 2 that it was her favorite season. Then she back-peddled and restated that season 2 contains some of her favorite episodes. I've found that to be pretty accurate: this season had some really fantastic episodes. it also some that were just okay, and some that were downright shit. As such, I've categorized them into awards: Command Gold Star awards for the really great episodes, Red Shirts for the terrible ones, and then there are a handful of awards for miscellaneous stuff.

Amok Time: Here, we get to travel to Vulcan to see Spock's wedding. Some shit goes awry, and we end up watching an extended fight scene between Kirk and Spock instead. It also just occurred to me that that that fight scene was a metaphor for Spock's inner battles between his human and Vulcan halves. Holy shit, that's a great episode! What really gets me in Amok Time is that we get to see some character development from Spock, and some background information as well. The weapons used on Vulcan are bad-ass, and their clothing does not suck. What's more, we learn about how Vulcans view themselves and others in the galaxy. It's layered and rich. I like that. From this episode also came the Vulcan hand salute (invented by Leonard Nimoy) and the iconic Pon Farr music, which gets played for especially animalistic fight scenes in Star Trek.

A Piece of the Action: This one wins out of sheer entertainment. I admit, when I heard this episode described as "the one with the gangster planet", I groaned. It sounded stupid. While I still maintain that this premise would have worked better as an alternate universe rather than a copy-cat alien planet, I was willing to overlook it because this episode was fun. It gets more points for pointing out that Kirk is a super-shitty driver, and... well... Leonard Nimoy in a pinstripe suit and fedora. Sploosh.

Assignment: Earth: We ended the season fairly strong with this episode, which was the pitch for another show about an unseen benign alien race trying to help Earth reach it's full potential through planted humans trained in espionage. I loved this episode. It was both funny and serious, as it used current events to point out to the human audience how ridiculous their squabbles could be. It didn't have a lot to do with Star Trek, but that was okay, as it was interesting enough on it's own.

Journey to Babel: Another great Spock-centric episode, Babel allowed us to explore the struggles within Spock's family and again lets us see the universe through the eyes of a Vulcan. We also get to see Vulcan through the eyes of a human, as we are introduced to Amanda, Spock's human mother. I love the backstory of Spock and Sarek's relationship, that of Spock and Amanda, and especially that of Sarek and his wife, which I ship hard. Bonus points to this episode for trying to create less-humanoid aliens, and for creating the Vulcan kiss, which is charming as hell.

Metamorphosis: Kirk, Spock, Bones, and a female guest get marooned on a planet where they find a famous warp engineer who should have died a long time ago. This guy has become permanently 35 or so, and is kept company by an entity who turns out to be female, and in love with him. The entity then takes the body of the dying female guest, and he in turn learns to love her. This episode rather subtly dealt with LGBTQ issues, though I'm sure they weren't thinking along those lines when they wrote it. No, what this episode turned out to be was sci-fi at it's best, where real-world issues are explored through futuristic means, and one can easily apply them back to real life. There are also some really lovely moments between Scotty, Sulu and Uhura in this episode, always a bonus in my book.

Return to Tomorrow: In another episode that I foolishly judged by it's cover, Kirk, Spock and Diana Muldaur volunteer their bodies so that non-corporeal entities can build android bodies for themselves. In truth, I thought I would be far more annoyed by Diana Muldaur because she pisses me off so much in NextGen. Turns out, she was fantastic here. Leonard Nimoy, playing Spock as the morally iffy Henoch, knows just how much to dial up the creepy so that you kind of want to trust and distrust him at the same time. You're kind of okay with him, but he also makes you squirm. Then there's the love story between Sargon (housed in Kirk) and Thalassa (housed in Muldaur's Dr Mulhall): I totally bought it. It was played beautifully, and shockingly, I had to give props to two actors whose characters I really don't like otherwise. 

*******

And now, for the Red Shirt Awards. These episodes just need to die. And I've selected how.

The Apple: A computer-run planet where the computer has died or gone haywire or some shit. The inhabitants have never heard of sex or kissing, so of course the Enterprise crew introduces them to that. All hell breaks loose, but then Kirk assures them it's fine because sex is fun. Four Red deaths, breaking of the Prime Directive, Kirk kills "God", and I was bored the whole time. Let's go with Death by Native Peoples for this episode.

Catspaw: This is one of those episodes where people read my review and and said "Awww, you didn't like that one? I love that episode!" Catspaw is, quite simply, the Star Trek Halloween episode. The OT3 gets stuck on a planet with a spooky castle, a witch that turns into a cat, and some kind of hapless warlock. Cheesy effects (though some I did appreciate) throughout. One or two good jokes and sight gags. Points for trying to create non-humanoid aliens, though it was only kind of effective. One talking dog and one stoner shy of a Scooby Doo episode. Go jump in a boiling cauldron of acid, Catspaw.

The Gamesters of Triskelion: Kirk, Chekov and Uhura are kidnapped by non-corporeal entities, and trained by aliens to fight to the death, so that the entities will have something to wager on to fill their time. Chekov and Uhura finally get more lines, and it has to be in this crappy episode. The costumes are terrible, and Kirk does his "seduce-a-woman-for-my-own-gains" thing. Only this time it's obvious that Kirk has fucked this girl up in unimaginable ways, and she'll be stuck in therapy for it for years. The worst part is, she kind of thanks him for it at the end of the episode. Gamesters of Triskelion, I sentence you to an arena match with Vulcans whose blood boils from Pon Farr. You get no weapons and must wear a loincloth and Barbarella boots.

The Omega Glory: This episode, written by Gene Rod, was one of three considered as the secondary pilot for Star Trek (the others were Mudd's Women and of course, Where No Man Has Gone Before). I'm glad they selected No Man for the pilot. Mudd's Women was pretty okay. This one should have been scrapped. It starts out promising, with yet another Starfleet commanding officer going rogue on some Prime Directive planet, this time because the guy thinks that the people are immortal, and he can bottle and sell it. Then it goes on this fucked-up tangent about how the two indigenous peoples on this planet are actually Yanks and Communists, and when the Commies won the war, the Yanks went primitive. This was another story that would have made more sense as an AU, but they made it a different planet instead. It's heavy-handed, racist, badly written, and the first and second halves have nothing to do with each other.  Watching this episode made me want to bash my own brains in with a brick. I had to force myself to watch all the way to the end. A phaser shot to the chest for you, Omega Glory. Set to kill.

Wolf in the Fold: There's been some kind of accident, and now Scotty hates women (NO), so Kirk and Bones take him to a pleasure planet. Some women are stabbed to death and everyone blames Scotty, but it turns out that Jack the Ripper is some sort of long-lived alien (NO) who has continued murdering woman throughout the centuries (NO) and across the galaxy (NO), and he's the one who committed the murders that Scotty was accused of (NO). What's more, the guy hired to play Intergalactic Jack the Ripper is also obviously the guy who has voiced Piglet in all of the Winnie the Pooh cartoons (NO). Death by Stabbing, Wolf in the Fold.

*******

Award for Interesting Premise

Who Mourns for Adonais?: This episode, though just "okay" in my opinion, had a really interesting idea behind it. The idea put forth was, what if the ancient gods and goddesses of Rome and Greece were not mythological, but actually real aliens with unusual powers from another planet, and when they made landfall on Earth, the primitive shepherds and merchants declared them to be supernatural? Now, I feel like this premise sounds ridiculous when typed out, but I believe that good writing can save a crappy premise, and bad writing can kill a good one. This episode had okay writing, but the idea was actually pretty great. It was certainly better executed than Wolf in the Fold, which wanted us the believe that Jack the Ripper was an alien. One of these ideas makes sense. The other one is stupid. Also, Adonais gets points for having good costumes.

Awesome Guest Stars of Season Two

T'Pring of Amok Time: Spock's arranged-marriage fiance, she feels trapped by the fact that he is famous, will be gone from Vulcan for long stretches of time, and frankly, she's just not that into him. She's fallen for a guy named Stonn instead, so instead of getting married, she hatches a plan where she'll get to be with Stonn no matter what the outcome. The thing is, she'll completely screw over Spock by making him kill his best friend. When her explanation finally comes out, Spock admits that her plan was logical. Then he gives T'Pring and Stonn the Vulcan version of the finger. T'Pring's way of thinking has actually spawned a phrase in our house: when something is morally terrible, but logical at the same time, it is labelled as being "T'Pring evil."

Also, T'Pring is a fox.

Eleen of Friday's Child: Brilliantly played by Julie Newmar of Catwoman fame, Eleen (Eh-leh-en) is the gift-wife of the tribal leader (Te-air) on a planet run by men. She's also stuck carrying the baby of a husband she doesn't really like. When her husband is killed in a coup, Eleen follows the OT3 up into the hills to escape her own death at the hands of the new Teer. She barks at Kirk and Spock, and gets into a slap-fight with Bones. She finally decides that she likes Bones, and allows him to assist in her giving birth. Waiting until he's asleep, she bashes him on the head with a rock and takes off, encountering the rest of the tribesmen, and a Klingon who has been mucking about on this planet, hoping to secure mining rights. In charge of her own destiny, Eleen declares that she will commit suicide in her own tent rather than be killed by the new Teer. She then pretty much spits in the face of the Klingon. Eleen is not your typical Star Trek damsel, and she takes no shit whatsoever. When the dust clears, her kid is named Teer, and Eleen is named regent. She then gives the Federation mining rights. Eleen: a feminist in a patriarchy. Fuck yeah.

Isis from Assignment: Earth: Gary Seven's shape-shifting cat companion, Isis assisted in his attempt to sabotage a missile for the benefit of mankind. In her cat form, she appeared on-screen in almost every scene. But she only got two shots in her human form, for a total of less than ten seconds. Mysterious and beautiful, who is Isis? Alas, we will never know. Her show was not picked up. *sigh*

Dr Richard Daystrom from The Ultimate Computer: Just in case you're thinking that this list is only comprised of bombshells, I've slipped the lone guy into the middle. Featured on an okay episode with a crappy title, Dr Daystrom is the genius behind the computer systems that run the Enterprise, and now, he has a new computer that thinks like a man. It sounds pretty simple, but the part of Daystrom is actually fairly complicated, as he's fighting against his own early fame and trying prove that he's still a heavy-hitter. Daystrom is a fairly important guy in Star Trek canon, being the namesake of the Daystrom Institute, later mentioned in Trek spin-offs. It was probably an extra slap in the face to the censors to make this important, well-respected man a big black dude. Good on ya, Star Trek.

Marlena Moreau from Mirror, Mirror: Being from the Mirror Universe, Marlena has some questionable morals, but she still managed to bring it in the end. The Captain's Woman, she is working her way through the ranks until she finds a comfortable spot. This is actually pretty admirable in a universe where one usually progresses through murder. It seems that at some point, she figured out that she could get what she wanted through seduction. However, she's clearly not adverse to that sort of thing, as she begins "eliminating" crew members that get in the way of non-Mirror Kirk and his quest to get back to his own universe. She asks him to take her with him, but he insists that she can do more good with Mirror Spock and Kirk than with him.

Amanda from Journey to Babel: As the wife of Sarek and the mother of Spock, it would have been a crime to make this woman boring. Awesomely, she is not. She constantly walks that fine line between being human and understanding Vulcans, but questions it all the same. Amanda manages to be both smart enough for her husband, but endearing enough to everyone else. I love this woman. She slaps Spock for being bull-headed and rages at Sarek for the same. And at the end of the day, you know she's crazy about both.

And now, some of my favorite screenshots from Season Two...

This was a beautiful shot from Metamorphosis, where the Companion, in her new human form, holds a scarf in front of Zefram Cochrane, in order to see him as she did when she was composed of a fine mist. It's a really lovely bridge between her previous form and her new form, and a nice way to talk about it without actually talking about it. It's subtle.

Sometimes you pause the episode at just the right moment, and even though you didn't intend to use that point as a screencapture, it's awesome enough to include. Here is Kirk choking in Gamesters of Triskelion. *snort*

This shot of Diana Muldaur's Dr Mulhall reacting to Kirk hitting on her was made it so easy for me to like her in TOS:

And now, my favorite screencapture of all time. I actually considered having this printed on a mouse pad. It's Spock getting a chest full of poisoned flower darts in The Apple.

So that's it for season two. I'm told that season three is not only super-shitty, but a Red blood-bath. Let's end with our death count, shall we?

Death Toll:

Red deaths this episode: 0
Red deaths this season: 20
Gold deaths this episode: 0
Gold deaths this season: 6
Blue deaths this episode: 0
Blue deaths this season: 1
Total crew deaths this season: 27
Total crew deaths thus far: 44

Season 2, Episode 39 "Mirror, Mirror"

"Mirror, Mirror"
Production Number: 39
Air Order: 33
Stardate: Unknown
Original Air Date: October 6, 1967

"Geez, how often does Star Trek do episodes about parallel universes?"

-Rumor

Every time the transporter malfunctions, sir. Every. Fucking. Time.

We open on a alien planet planet, where an away team of Kirk, Bones, Scotty and Uhura is attempting to convince the natives to trade their dilithium crystals to the Federation. this alien race - the Halkans - are less than enthusiastic to trade, as they are thoroughly pacifistic, and fear that giving the Federation dilithium may end in violence for someone, and they would literally rather die than than allow that to happen. The Halkans have little to no bearing on this story, and it's obvious: this scene takes place in a generic garden setting, and the Halkans are dressed in a basic bohemian way. (Actually, I think these costumes may have been recycled from the "Errand of Mercy" episode. Points to you, Budget.) You know how we know that they're aliens? They have blue dots on their foreheads.

Kirk has decided to cut their talk short, due to the magnetic ion storm brewing. He assures the Halkans that he will not use force to take the crystals, then the away team gets into formation, and they beam up. There's a weird series of shots, strobe-style, where the E is facing right, then left, while lights flash. Then the away team appears on the transporter pad in altered uniforms.

There are stencils on the walls of a planet with a sword through it. And Spock is sporting a beard.

Spock asks a confused Kirk what kinds of weapons the Halkans have, and when Kirk mumbles "None", Spock contacts Sulu and orders him to train phasers on the Halkan cities, saying that it's a shame that the Halkans are choosing suicide over cooperation.
The away team looks weirded out.
"Rough beam-up?" Spock asks
"Um, yeah," says Kirk uncertainly.
Spock turns to the transporter tech, Kyle. He accuses the tech of not compensating correctly for the ion storm, and demands Kyle's "agonizer". Kyle begs for forgiveness, but gives Spock a small device from his belt. Spock then places it on Kyle's chest, which shocks him. The away team tries to hide their WTF? faces.
Dramatic music!

Kirk's Log, stardate unknown: "There was some weird shit with the beam-up process, and when we got back to the E, everything was changed. Spock is a psycho. This is bullshit."

Kyle scrapes himself off the floor and hesitantly tells Spock that there was a "jump" in power during the beaming process. It gives Kirk the opportunity to say that he feels strange, and that the away team should be checked out in sick bay.
On their way there, they encounter other crew members, who are all wearing gold sashes, daggers, and knee-high boots. They all give Kirk this sort of creepy Hitler salute, which he hesitantly returns. When they arrive in the supposedly empty sick bay, they openly discuss that some things are the same, but different. Kirk surmises that the storm must have switched them with their counterparts from a parallel universe while they were in the transporter.

You know, I didn't think that Kirk's wrap-around blouse could be anymore ridiculous, but clearly, this parallel universe has set out to prove me wrong. It's kind of obnoxious sleeveless, sparkly, and embellished like that.
And what the fuck is wrong with Uhura's boobs? She looks like a badly-drawn comic book character. I figured it would be difficult to make the female uniforms more revealing than usual, but again, I was wrong. Her ass is fully covered this time, but her skirt is really short in the front. I can live with her thigh-high boots, and her crop top isn't the worst thing that I've seen on this show. But her boobs are sitting in her throat, which is just awful.

Anyway, they try to figure out how to get back to their own Enterprise. Kirk asks Scotty to fuck up the phasers in such a way that it seems like they were damaged by the storm. He sends Uhura to the bridge to find out what his orders are from Starfleet. Then he and Bones go through some tapes to find out how this universe functions.
On the bridge, Uhura makes for her station, and is immediately accosted by the scarred Parallel Universe Sulu, who has all the charm of Khan, and you know how much I fucking love that guy. PU Sulu wants to hook up with Uhura.
"Bitch, get back to your station," she barks. She almost hits him, too.
All hail the Ship Goddess!

Kirk arrives on the bridge and Uhura whispers to him that his orders are to kill the Halkans if they don't give up the goods. Sulu already has phasers locked onto their capital city.
Scotty enters engineering, intent on screwing with the phasers, but a security Red says that the order to check the phasers has to be cleared through Sulu, who is head of security here. Scotty reports back to Kirk that the phasers sustained no damage from the storm.
Spock enters the bridge, demanding to know why the Halkans aren't dead.
"I wanna talk to them again," says Kirk. He has Uhura contact the Halkans, and he gives them 12 hours to change their mind and give them the dilithium before he destroys them. He plays the part pretty well, too, being a total dick to the Halkan leader.

"That was against Starfleet orders," says Spock. "I'll have to report you."
"Whatever, bro," says Kirk.
He asks Uhura to have Bones and Scotty meet him in his quarters, then he gets on the lift with Chekov. Because everyone in this universe is an asshole, Chekov and some cronies jump Kirk as he gets off the lift. Apparently, assassination is the way one gets promoted here. But the fight is short-lived, as one of Chekov's henchmen is a double-agent. He disintegrates Chekov's Gold friends, and when Kirk-loyal reinforcements arrive, they haul Chekov to "the booth".

Bones and Scotty meet Kirk in his quarters. They ask the computer if it was possible for them to have switched with parallel universe dopplegangers during a beam-up with a bonus ion storm. The computer agrees that it is possible, and they ask it to provide instructions on how to replicate the condition to switch back. While Scotty goes over the instructions, Kirk Googles himself. It seems he murdered Pike to get the captaincy. It's then followed by a list of murders and genocides committed in the name of the Federation.
"Wow, you're a douchecanoe," Bones tells Kirk.
"Wonder what our copies are doing in our Enterprise?" muses Kirk.
They're in the brig, that's what.

Because Spock is fucking smarter than everyone, he figured it out right away and tossed the Evil Away Team behind a force field. Evil Kirk screams like an animal and tries to bribe Spock.
"Bitch, please," scoffs the Vulcan before walking away.

Goatee Spock catches up with Kirk in the corridor.
"Heard about Chekov, glad you're not dead. I like you, and I don't want your damn job."
They pass Chekov, who is in the Agony Booth, which is pretty much an all-over agonizer. Kirk hides his "so, that sucks" face.

"You're acting weird," says Spock. "I don't really want to report you to Starfleet, but you didn't kill the Halkans. You have to do that to maintain control."
"I'll do what I want," says Kirk. "Also, I could beat your ass."
"Yeah, ditto," says Spock, and he walks away.

Meanwhile, Scotty and Bones break into engineering to recreate the ion storm conditions.
Kirk ventures back to his quarters. There's a girl in his bed who turns out to be the Captain's Ho. She's clearly part of the crew, but pursuing advancement through the vajayjay rather than murder. Marlena has hair of Rand caliber, if less ridiculous.

They discuss power plays and make out a bit before Spock calls to cockblock Kirk. Spock has gotten a secret message from Starfleet saying that if Kirk doesn't kill the Halkans, then Spock must kill Kirk, take over as captain, and kill the Halkans himself.

Kirk's Log, stardate unknown: "............. fuck."

Marlena asks Kirk if she should turn on the Tantalus field to monitor Spock. He agrees and Spock appears on a screen behind a sliding panel. This is the thing that gives Evil Kirk his power. If he presses a button on the Tantalus field, Spock will disappear without a trace. Kirk tells her not to pres the button. He says he intends to find a way that he and Spock can both live, and escape the wrath of Starfleet command. She drifts off into another room, and Scotty calls.
"Scotty, I'm screwed," says Kirk. "I have to kill the Halkans within three hours, or Spock will kill me."
"Forget that shit," replies Scotty. "We have a 30-minute window to get the hell out of Dodge, or we're stuck here permanently."

This shot is awesome. They added some kind of platform
high up in front of the engineering set. It's totally believable,
and I bet it didn't cost that much to frame it up.

Meanwhile, Spock has noticed a lot of extra computer activity going on in engineering. He asks the computer about it, and the computer replies that it's a project involving Kirk and Scotty, and that it's blocked from outsiders. Spock catches on to the fact that Sulu has been listening to his communications, and he calls the security lead.
"You got a message from Starfleet," oozes Sulu. "I can guess what it says. I'm excited. You kill Kirk, and then I become second in command. You're pretty weak. I could take you out."
"Listen, you evil little fuck," says Spock. "I have friends. Some are Vulcans. And they will rain the pain on your skinny ass."

In Kirk's quarters, Marlena comes out of the back room, and Star Trek once again tries to convince us that floaty, shapeless, and oddly patterned equals sexy. It doesn't. Stop it, Star Trek.

STAHP.

They make out. He says he has to go. She gets angry and assumes that they're breaking up, insisting that she'll pack her things and ride another man to promotion. He tells her that he's not ditching her, and then kisses her again. She says he seems different. He leaves her to ponder on that.

In the corridor, Kirk relays the plan to Uhura through a scrambled comm. She has to keep Sulu distracted so he won't notice the extra activity in engineering being reported on his security board.

There's a brief, awesome shot here of Scotty working in the Jeffries tube.

Uhura approaches Sulu and flirts with him. He gladly slides back into Khan mode until she notices that a certain light on his board is no longer blinking, then she backhands him, keeping him away with the dagger that appears to be a standard-issue Starfleet uniform accessory. She backs into the lift, barking at some random Red to take her place at the comm before the lift doors close. Uhura is a badass.

Oddly, the Reds in the background of this scene just sort of lounge throughout the whole thing. Apparently, sex and violence is a spectator sport on the bridge.

Bearded Spock catches Kirk in the transporter room, screwing with the equipment. Pulling a phaser on him, he accuses Kirk of acting weird since the beam-up, and that he will now be escorting Kirk to his rendezvous in sick bay.

Almost as soon as they get in the door, a four-on-one fight breaks out. There's another cool overhead shot of sick bay and the fight. They finally win when Kirk brains Spock with a skull. Heh.

Helloooo, obvious stunt doubles!

They only have 15 minutes left to get on the transporter pads, but Bones insists that they treat Spock, or he'll die. He says that it should only take a minute. This Spock is much like their own Spock (despite using an agonizer on Kyle earlier), so Kirk agrees.
Marlena watches them on the Tantalus field screen from Kirk's quarters. But uh, oh. Here comes Evil Sulu and a trio of Reds. Sulu's new plan is to kill Kirk and make it look as though Kirk and Spock killed each other in a fight. Then Sulu can take control of the ship.

Marlena aims the Tantalus at each of Sulu's back-up singers, and one by one, they disappear. Ooh, game changer! The away team easily takes down Evil Sulu. Bones sends the others up to the transporter room while he finishes up with Spock.
Spock is up within moments, and performs a mind meld on Bones to try to find out why Kirk let him live. Shit, dude. Spock didn't even ask. You couldn't even take him out to dinner before probing him, Spock? Damn, that's cold.

The others rush down to the transporter room, where they encounter Marlena. She wants Kirk to take her along. But he refuses, as the system was only set for four. She pulls a phaser on him. Uhura quickly disarms her, and everyone who was hoping for a drawn-out Dallas-caliber cat fight sighs in disappointment.

The power is cut. Scotty can bypass to auxiliary power, but then they won't be able to use the neat little delay that Scotty set up. Of course someone will now have to stay behind to work the transporter. (Seriously, Star Trek. That plot device is getting old.) Kirk volunteers. Because of course he does. Scotty tries to get away with calling him "Jim!", but he walks away, knowing that shouting that is something that's only allowed to the captain's boyfriends.
Bones enters at Spock's phaser-point. He had switched off the power, which he now switches back on. He will work the transporter, and send the others back. Kirk attempts to talk him into taking over the ship and sparing the Halkans.
"Maybe," says Bearded Spock.
The beaming process goes smoothly this time, and the away team returns to their ship in their regular uniforms.
Back on the bridge, Kirk and Bones trade their usual racist barbs with Spock.

The lift doors open, and guess who? It's Marlena, and her giant hair has now become a giant beehive. She's only been on board about a week. She gets Kirk's signature and moves on.

"Do you know her?" asks Spock. 

Yeah, he almost did her.

"No," says Kirk. "She just seems nice. I think we could be ...friends."

With benefits.

And he moves off to hit on her.

*******

Some thoughts:

- Kirk has worn that green wrap-around blouse pretty much every episode this season. Were these all filmed on Casual Fridays, or have they decided to switch him over to that shirt permanently? They seem to have made it slightly more official by putting black piping along the inside edge of that neckline. The funny thing is, in all of the official promos for the franchise, not once is he ever shown in that green shirt. It's always the plain gold.

- When the away teams switched places, the correct uniforms stayed in the correct universes. Since I kind of doubt that it was a special thing where only the clothes were not affected, it seems like their consciousness was switched over rather than their physical bodies. Let's imagine that. You switch over to the physical body of someone who is essentially you, but who has lived a different life. Maybe that body is slightly different. I can imagine that at least one person on that away team said at one point, "Hey, where did this scar come from?" or  "What the -? I was circumcised! How did that grow back?"

- I've never actually talked about Kyle, but he's kind of been there in the background since last season, showing up rather randomly. He has an accent that I've been unable to place, but the actor is British. Here's the thing about Kyle: he just kind of fits in wherever. He's been filmed in all three tunic colors, on the bridge, in sick bay, in engineering, and as a transporter tech. Kyle is a Fill In The Blank.

And now, awesome things I found out about this episode, from imdb:
In the wake of this episode, a group of child fans started a neighborhood-wide letter campaign suggesting that the concept of a "Captain's Woman" be carried over into the series as a whole, and requesting that Stefanie Powers be cast in that role. Eventually Gene Roddenberry's assistant had to write to the group's two "ringleaders", telling them to ask their parents exactly what a "Captain's Woman" was. 
That, my friends, is the sound of parents exclaiming, "You're never watching Star Trek again!"

It has been said that Star Trek was not allowed to show women's navels, but Uhura's navel is visible in the mirror universe. Reportedly, this was accomplished by filming while a PA took the Standards representative to lunch.
Not just Star Trek - it was every show. Watch all the "I Dream of Jeannie" you like. You'll never see Barbara Eden's bellybutton. Maybe the standards guy ate at the kraft services table on that show. Or maybe those guys were warned about that ploy, because Star Trek is sneaky as hell.

Death Toll:

Red deaths this episode: 3
Red deaths this season: 9
Gold deaths this episode: 2
Gold deaths this season: 4
Blue deaths this episode: 0
Blue deaths this season: 1
Total crew deaths this season: 17
Total crew deaths thus far: 33

I'm totally counting the people who died on on the Evil Enterprise in this count, because, parallel universe or not, taking a commission with Kirk is dangerous as hell.