ST:TNG Season One, Episode Twenty-Four "We'll Always Have Paris"

ST:TNG Season One, Episode Twenty-Four "We'll Always Have Paris"
Production Order: 24
Air Order: 24
Stardate: 41697.9
Original Air Date: May 2, 1988

Okay, so that was bullshit.
Pretty much the single second I completed my October project, I catch the plague. Out for the count. As I'm starting to get over said plague (I still, weeks later, have the lingering, hacking cough leftover), I get what I think is food poisoning. Only it wasn't food poisoning, because that also included lingering affects.
This is why I did not post on the 7th or 14th, as I had intended.
"But Lady Archon, could you not have written while sick?"
BAHAHAHAHA!
Friends, this is what my brain looks like with a fever:
I'm lying on the couch, half-dead, and Roomie is talking to me, but I have no voice, so I'm texting her my responses. Uhura runs across the keyboard of my laptop, pausing my Deadpool DVD.
"You can't yell at the cat," my brain reminds me. "You have no voice."
I reach for my phone.
"No, no," chimes in the brain. "You can't text the cat, either. You don't have her phone number."
I don't have her phone number. I don't. Have. Her phone number.
Wow thanks, brain. That's almost as helpful as the time you tried to tell me that my tea tasted like toys and candy.

*******

Picard's Log 41697.9: "Heading for some shore leave. Been trying to get myself some down-time ahead of it."

We're treated to a scene of a couple of fencers engaged in a fight, and we have no idea who they are, because we can't see behind their masks. One person takes a hit and both masks come off. One is Picard, and the other is some unknown that Picard refers to as "lieutenant." The lieutenant has scored the point against Picard, and I can't help thinking, "That dude is brave - who the hell would agree to competing against the head honcho, especially given that this guy is a little better than Picard?" So the lieutenant tries to apologize, but Picard waves him off, because the lieutenant's shit is legit.
I kind of like that. It's a tiny bit of character development. Picard gives credit where credit is due.
Anyway, they go at it again, and Picard manages a hit. They end the fight. The lieutenant attempts to very carefully kiss Picard's ass.
"Interesting move, sir. What technique was that?"
"The technique of a desperate man."
Then, their actions are slowed down, and the convo repeats itself verbatim.
Picard looks at the lieutenant. "Was that kind of fucked up?"
"It was," replies the lieutenant.

Picard goes to the bridge in his fencing clothes. Riker tells him they experienced the same thing, like a two-second repeat in time. Worf says other decks have reported the same thing, and Data states that it also affected the computer system, which means that it actually happened, and was not a weird thing that just affected the crew.

Worf picks up an automated distress call from Dr Paul Manheim. Picard sits up and takes notice at this name, then orders Geordi to take them to coordinates mentioned.

"Do you think this is connected to that time lapse for a few minutes ago?" Riker asks him.

That's kind of a reach, Star Trek. Riker is clearly not familiar with that name or the time anomaly that just happened, but somehow he thinks that Picard thinks that they're linked? I mean, they are, but there's no way for him to have to any evidence to put those things together, just by the look on Picard's face. And frankly, Picard could have been frowning at just the distress call.

Picard answers, "I do. Fifteen years ago, Dr Manheim left Earth with some other scientists. They were going to do experiments on non-linear time. Looks like they were successful."

NOW, Star Trek. NOW would be a good place to insert Riker's question. AFTER he's gotten some exposition.

Anyway, dramatic music! Opening credits!

Ugh, I forgot. Cold-hearted bitches intentionally left Denise Crosby's name in the opening credits for the remainder of season one. "Don't forget! We killed somebody in the worst episode ever!"

When we return, Geordi announces that it's a four-and-a-half hour trip to get to the place where the distress signal originated, and Picard calls on Data's massive positronic brain to give exposition to the bridge crew on Manheim.

Seems that Manheim was considered brilliant in the scientific community, and had several cool theories on time, but none were widely accepted.

Picard then adds that Manheim was teaching at the university in Paris while he was there, but he never met the man. Picard is fidgety, and excuses himself to go change out of his fencing clothes.

Troi catches him on his way into the lift. She says he seems emotionally all over the place, and was triggered by Manheim's name. She offers to talk to him professionally in the time before they reach the coordinates where the distress signal was coming from.

He blows her off. He's captain. Captains don't need safe spaces and shit.

Instead, he decides to go to the holodeck, and he tells the computer that he wants to go to a certain cafe in Paris, as it would have appeared twenty-two years earlier. He checks out the view from the cafe's balcony, a sweet matte painting with some shuttles flying by. (I can't be certain if those shuttles were models filmed during the original run, or if they were digitally added later, as I believe the TNG episodes on Netflix are all digital remasters.)

Picard ends up telling the maitre d' that he was supposed to have met a girl at this cafe twenty-plus years ago, and he never showed up. He kind of always imagined that she had, but he never bothered to check. The maitre d' says he will bring Picard something to drink while he watches the scenery and thinks.

That diamond shelf in the background came out of Kirk's apartment in
Wrath of Khan. It also appears in Troi's quarters in Encounter at Farpoint.

The focus shifts, and we listen briefly to an argument at the next table: the girl in pink is in the same boat as Picard's girl twenty years ago, and her friend insists that some guy isn't going to show. Pinky is certain that this guy will show, and her friend gets frustrated and leaves. Pinky catches Picard watching her.

"Why the hell are you staring at me?"

"You remind me of someone, sorry."

Pinky says out loud what her friend had been saying all along: that her dude was probably not coming. She then laments that she might have done something to "drive him away."

Picard, being "that guy" in another time, suggests that maybe her guy was afraid of commitment, or that he didn't know what he wanted because he was young.

Pinky looks at him like she can't quite believe this shit. Who's this old dude, telling her that her guy is afraid of commitment because he's young?

Picard gets mad at himself for engaging in "self-indulgence," and leaves.

You know, I gotta wonder at the holodeck, placing Pinky and her friend there with the same problem as Picard has right at that moment. Does this technology have the ability to figure out a person's problems, and then manifest a way for that person to work through those problems? I mean, Yar demonstrated earlier that a self-defense program could anticipate attacks and alter the program slightly to match its human counterpart - could an program be written where the NPCs anticipate what that other person needed, and then provide it? Here, probably not. It's most likely a coincidence. But a program like that could be really beneficial to someone like Troi.

Picard returns to the bridge. Riker reports that they've talked to a ship nearby and a farming colony, and both have said that they've also experienced that brief repeat of time. Riker says the ship captain referred to that moment as a "hiccup." Data butts in to say that this analogy isn't quite correct, and Picard asks what might be better, with interest. But when Data tries to pick a bodily function that would fit the bill, Picard cuts him off with that polite way of telling Data to STFU, as they all use: "That's enough, Data." 

I would like to point out, Picard, that you asked for more information this time.

So they arrive at the coordinates given in the recording, but instead of finding Manheim, there's just another recording, sending them to the far reaches of the galaxy. I guess Manheim is into astral-geocaching or something? So they trek all the way out to the new coordinates (because what choice do they have?), and they end up at some hunk of rock orbiting a binary star system.

They open hailing frequencies, and Picard starts in with his standard, "This is Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the starship Enterprise..." but then he switches mid-sentence and goes with "This is the Captain of the Enterprise..."

Geordi and Data exchange looks.

A woman responds, saying it is just the two of them, and that "he's having convulsions." Just to add to the suspense, there's a force field around the hunk of rock that she has to drop in order for the E to beam them out.

Spoilers: she drops the force field.

They beam her and Manheim to sick bay.

Picard goes to sick bay, but at the last moment, asks for Riker and Data to go with him.

So Dr and Mrs Manheim appear on the sick bay floor, and she tells Crusher that he's been convulsing for hours. (Holy shit, hours?) They get him up on the bed, and Picard awkwardly enters sick bay. So now it's clear that he only asked Data and Riker to come with him as his bros, because he appears to want to sink into the floor.

Mrs Manheim smiles at him like her husband isn't possibly dying on the bed behind her, and she says, "I thought that might be you. Always knew you'd come to my rescue."

Really? You don't see him for twenty years, but you expect him to come riding to your rescue?

Riker and Data exchange looks.

Do you know Jenice Manheim? Maybe. That's Michelle Phillips, 25% of the singing group "The Mamas and The Papas." She looks too young for Picard, but I guess she was in her mid-forties here, and Patrick Stewart is only four years her senior, so the timing works.

Anyway, after a brief commercial break, Picard introduces her to Data and Riker, and they go into Crusher's office to talk about all the shit that's going down on this tiny rock.

She tells him that there were a bunch of other scientists working in a second lab on the other side of the planetoid, but there was some accident there a few weeks ago, and everyone died. Now it was just them. Data asks about her husband's work. She says she doesn't totally get it, but explains in layman's terms that Dr Manheim believes that portals can be opened into other dimensions by screwing with time in a certain way. They reveal that brief repeat in time to her, and tell her that it was felt light-years away.

She says she didn't think any of the experiments were dangerous, but says that maybe Manheim did - he put in the force field and a crazy security system, and made her hang out in "a protected room."

Picard says he wants to send some people down to the lab to check it out, but she says that the security system will keep them from going in.

Crusher comes in to say that Manheim is stable, but that she wants to run tests on Jenice. After Mrs Manheim leaves, Crusher tells Picard that Manheim is dying, but she doesn't know why. She gives him a few days until he'll kick the bucket, and says that Picard can't talk to him yet.

Picard, Riker and Data leave sick bay, talking about this new problem. They get into the lift, and then this shit happens:

Both Datas state that they feel no difference or ill-effects. The camera leaves the lift to stand next to the group in the corridor, and the lift door closes. Data uses the term "The Manheim Effect" and says that it is getting stronger.

"Which one was us?" demands Riker.

"Both," replies Data. "That was us on a different timeline, a little bit into the future."

The lift door opens again, and they all peer cautiously inside before getting in to go to the bridge.

Later, Picard is in his ready room, when he is joined by Riker and Data again. They've been studying the planetoid, and report that they discovered the other, destroyed lab on the other side, but there's nothing to be learned there. They also say that there's an energy source coming from the surviving lab, that they think that Manheim has figured out how to harvest the energy from the pulsar star, but that there's no way to confirm any of this without talking to Manheim or going to the lab to check his notes. They discuss the possibility that the security system was tied into the force field, and that Mrs Manheim turned it off when she turned off the force field. Picard tells them to put together a team.

They choose Worf along with themselves, and attempt to beam down. However, the beam goes awry, and they are not able to rematerialize in the lab. The beam just kind of fizzles out.

Dramatic music! Commercial break!

A few agonizing seconds go by, with the away team fizzling out between locations before finally solidifying back on the E transporter pad. The chief tells them that they're lucky to be alive.

Down in sick bay, Manheim awakes abruptly and demands to know where he is. Jenice tells him he's on the E, and that he sent a distress signal for someone to come help them. He doesn't remember sending any distress signal, but the dude seems manic at this point. He clutches at Jenice and tells her that he's gone to the other side, that part of him is still there now, and that everything that has happened or will happen was totally worth it.

Picard enters with Data and Troi, and introduces himself. Clealy, the Manheims have discussed Picard, because Manheim knows who he is already. Picard says things are bad. Manheim says they will get worse. He is asked how to stop things, and Picard tells him to talk to Data, an android.

"I know all your stuff," says Data.

"How?" asks Manheim. "I don't even know all of my stuff, and it's my stuff.  Also, the stuff I'm doing now totally makes all of my early stuff obsolete."

"It's cool, I'm an android."

Data fangirls about Manheim's work for a moment, in that way that one kind of expert fangirls to another, talking in jargon, and Manheim guesses that maybe Data does know what he's talking about. He's horrified to find that the time blip has moved beyond the planetoid, and tells them that he and his team opened a crack in the fabric of time, allowing him to slip through.

"It seems that I fucked up all of the shit. We gotta stop it. I'll give you the codes to beam down and get past the security system so you can shut it down."

Picard calls a meeting of the senior officers, and Data, having checked out Manheim's stuff, tells them that he thinks it'll be possible to shut that shit down, but it has to be timed perfectly with another time distortion, or there isn't any point in doing it. He thinks they can predict the timing. Picard assigns Worf to making sure the security measures are completely turned off.

Door opens. Not another senior officer, but Jenice Manheim.

"I was told I could find you here."

Um, yeah. But you're interrupting a meeting.

Excuse much. Rude or anything?

Picard declares that the meeting is over, and that she isn't intruding, and I guess old friends of the captain can just go wherever they want on this ship for whatever reason. Maybe next she'll wander down into Engineering and play with the dilithium crystals.

Okay, I'll stop bitching. This scene is actually really well done.

Everybody leaves so Picard can have a private chat with Jenice. She gets right to the point:

Jenice: Why didn't you come to meet me that last day in Paris?

Picard: ... I was afraid.

Jenice: (scoffs) I didn't want this.

Picard: What?

Jenice: The truth.

Picard: Oh, you want me to lie.

Jenice: Of course. A nice soft, painless lie.

Picard: Oh, I got the days confused. I thought it was Tuesday when it was Wednesday. I went to the Cafe Moulin instead of the Cafe des Artistes.

Jenice: Ah, that's better. It was raining, and you couldn't find a cab.

Picard: Mm-hmm.

Up until now, their conversation has been light and breezy, and there's less Captain Picard and more Jean-Luc. Because here's the thing: Patrick Stewart plays Picard in a certain way, a way that tells you that Picard is always cognizant of who he is in comparison to who he is speaking with. We only ever see Captain Picard, or just Picard. Even when he lets his guard down when he's speaking frankly with Riker, the crew member he seems closest with, there is still a tiny sense of formality. He's aware the whole time that he is Riker's superior.

But here, he's Jean-Luc, that twenty-something kid that skipped town two decades ago. Jenice Manheim represents something we rarely get to see in relation to Picard: he's vulnerable. He feels guilty for walking away and never contacting her again.

The first half of the conversation is airy. They are joking, and Picard lets his guard more than usual. I think it's a combination of good acting and good writing, but it's believable.

They continue on, and the conversation gets a little heavier:

She did wait all day for him at the cafe, and then she checked with Starfleet Headquarters, but he'd already shipped out. And he admits, again, that he was afraid of meeting her, and changing his mind about leaving with Starfleet, and staying behind, and becoming complacent.

She guesses that his biggest fear was that staying with her would have made him ordinary, and he actually laughs in this really genuine way.

"You're wonderful. And am I that transparent?"

Down in sick bay, Crusher is scanning Manheim when Troi comes in.

Troi asks how Manheim is doing, and Crusher starts to respond that he's about the same, but then she guesses that Troi has not shown up to ask about the scientist.

Troi follows Crusher into the office. Crusher desperately tries to do some busy-work to avoid having That Conversation with Troi, while Troi insists.

"I can't compete with a ghost from his past," Crusher says firmly before exiting back into sick bay.

(Hint: this scene mostly exists to remind you of the will they- won't they subplot present with all Picard-Crusher episodes.)

Later, Manheim calls Picard down to sick bay to talk to him alone. He starts giving Picard some cover story about how he couldn't remember all of the codes to shut off the security system completely.

"Also, I want to talk to you about my wife."

"Dude, seriously?" balks Picard. "Be professional."

"I want you to take care of her, in case something happens to me," says Manheim.

"Oh. Okay, that's cool," replies Picard.

Wait, are you kidding me? An old girlfriend you haven't seen in twenty years rolls into town or whatever, and her husband asks you to take care of her after hanging out for like, ten minutes? Would you honestly agree to that? Like, even if the husband wasn't dying? I don't know about you, but there's no way in hell I'd "take care of" my ex from twenty years ago.

Oh, wait. There's more.

Now Picard is suddenly the Manheims' couples therapist, because Manheim starts telling Picard that Jenice has been unhappy for the last few years while he's steadily becoming a workaholic, living in the middle of nowhere.

Again, I'm thinking about the spouse of my ex, telling me about their marital problems. 

No. Fuck off.

Manheim starts crying about how he doesn't deserve Jenice, and Picard is like, "No, I'm out," and he takes off.

Picard and Data are walking through the corridor, discussing the away mission. Picard tells Data that he wants him to go alone, that he doesn't think they should risk anyone else.

"Oh, that's cool," says Data. "I get it. I'm a machine, so I'm dispensable."

Picard realizes that what he's said was phrased in such a way as to come off whatever the android version of racist is. He back-peddles.

"Okay, no. Let's try this again. I don't think you're dispensable. Just the opposite. But in this case, I want it to be just you, because you ride out the time distortions better than your human crewmates."

Data agrees with this assessment, so now he's the only guy going on the away mission.

Data beams over, where he discovers that there are parts of the security system that Manheim forgot to mention. He pulls out some Bond moves getting away from lasers. (Sadly, I did not see any ill-tempered sea bass.) He leaves his comm badge open so the bridge crew can hear him get carved up by the lasers. Data manages to phaser the security system and get into the lab.

And now, my favorite sound effect description of season one TNG:

WTF does a chiming roar sound like? you may ask. Like a roar of loud-ass chimes. I know that sounds like a dumb tautology, but that description is actually pretty apt for that sound.

Backstage, writing the closed-captioning:

Writer 1: "How should I describe this sound?"

Writer 2: "Hmmm... a chiming roar?"

W1: "What the fuck is a chiming roar?"

W2: "...that."

Man, I love closed captioning.

So Data is now in the lab with these huge sheets of glass (which are engaged in a chiming roar), and they're sort of rotating. Not spinning, but like, moving around one another (which is causing the chiming roar). That's the thing that's fucking up all of the shit. Data checks the computer and says that it predicts there will be another time distortion in 90 seconds. He has to dump anti-matter into the roaring, chiming glass panels or something.

"Will that plug the hole?" asks Picard, because we've determined that the shape of the thing is now a hole instead of a crack. Or maybe we're just fishing for analogies. Whatever.

"I guess?" replies Data.

Man, if Data doesn't know, you could be screwed.

So he's talking to the others on the comm badge (because how else are we gonna get that exposition?), and he tells them that when the time distortion comes up again that it'll open that crack to the other dimension, and then he has to pour the anti-matter in to seal it back up.

He goes to another station and takes out a canister using a pair of tongs because Manheim just randomly keeps anti-matter in his lab.

Data requests a 27-second countdown from Geordi, which he is granted. The countdown has a weird echo as time distorts around Data, and oops. Now there's three of him.

"Fuck," says the Data on the dais. "Which one of us is supposed to drop this shit in the hole?"

The three Datas all think for a moment while Geordi's voice continues its echo-y countdown.

Then Star Trek makes a pair of snafus in one sentence.

"Me!" yells the Data in the middle. "It's me!"

Firstly, this group of Datas seems awfully emotive. We know that Data is not supposed to be emotive, because he hasn't reached this stage of development yet. I mean yeah, Data could conceivably destroy life as we know it by doing this incorrectly, and I get that that's stressful and everything, but androids do not emote, even when doing stressful things. Their roller coaster of life contains no hills or valleys, just straight road.

Secondly, Data uses a contraction here: "It's me!" Since determining that Data is not advanced enough to use contractions (one of the differences between himself and Lore), Star Trek has been pretty consistent about always giving Data lines that contain no contractions. If you see them here, it's because I'm paraphrasing and dicking around. Contractions actually spoken by Data stick out like sore thumbs.

Come on, Star Trek. Pay attention.

So Data #2 determines that he is in the correct time stream, and he steps forward and dumps his anti-matter into the crack-hole. (That's...that's just wrong. It even feels wrong typing it.) There's a bright flash of light, and then all of the chiming-roaring glass slabs disappear with the extra Datas, and he's just left standing on the dais.

"Are you there?" asks Picard. "Is it closed?"

"Um, it's patched," says Data. "But closed? Eh, that's not something I can promise."

"Close enough," shrugs Picard. "Beam back, please."

Down in sick bay, Manheim has made a full recovery. He tries to describe to his wife what The Other Side is like, but he doesn't have the words. She is hesitant to go back to the lab, but he talks her into it. Picard tells Manheim that the Federation will probably want to help them.

Read: "You kind of fucked up all of the shit here, Manheim. The Federation will probably send you some scientists to work by your side to ensure that you don't almost destroy the universe again."

Anyway, the Manheims are all lovey-dovey again, and Picard sees that he probably won't be getting any on the side, especially as they're going back to that hunk of rock in the middle of nowhere.

A little later, Troi shows Jenice to the holodeck, and she enters into a program that is already running. Surprise, it's the cafe! They have champagne, and he says he wanted to say goodbye for realsies this time.

She responds by saying that she expects him to "always come charging to my rescue." Sooo, not your husband, then? He's not allowed to "rescue" you? It needs to be the guy who ditched you 20 years ago? Girlfriend: it is the 24th century. Rescue your own damn self.

They say their official goodbyes, and she leaves the holodeck.

Picard returns to the bridge sometime after they've dropped the Manheims back on their rock. He remembers that they're supposed to be going on shore leave. (Why the hell does all of this stuff crop up shortly before they're due for shore leave? Like, every time?) He has Geordi set in the coordinates for the planet they'll be visiting, and then settles in for the ride.

Riker starts chatting about some bar on this planet where they make some kind of cocktail. (Narrows it down, dude. Thanks.)

But Troi knows where he's talking about, and offers up a nearby landmark as a way to find it again.

"It's called the Blue Parrot Cafe," says Picard. "And you're buying," he adds to Troi.

Red deaths: 0

Gold deaths: 0

Blue deaths: 0

Obnoxious Wes moments: 0

Legitimate Wes moments when he should have told someone to go fuck themselves: 0

Sassy Geordi moments: 0

Sassy Wes Moments: 0

Sassy Worf Moment: 0

Sassy Riker Moments: 0

Sassy Yar Moments: 0

Sassy Picard Moments: 0

Sassy NPC Moments: 0
Sassy Data Moments: 0
Sassy Crusher Moments: 0

Number of times that it is mentioned that Data is an android: 1

Number of times that Troi reacts to someone else's feelings: 2

Number of times that Geordi "looks at something" with his VISOR: 0
Number of times when Data gives too much info and has to be told to shut up: 1


Fun Facts:
- The maitre d' is the only TNG actor to have a French accent whose first language is actually French. (Everybody else was faking.)

- Some of the writers wanted Picard to hook up with Jenice over a commercial break, but they were shot down by other production workers and Patrick Stewart. Good thing, too. Picard hook up with a married woman? Tacky.
- The name of this episode comes from the movie "Casablanca." The mention of "The Blue Parrot Cafe" was another callback to that.
- An early shot from this episode actually features the arm of Tasha Yar in the background.

- Listed on the cafe menu: Tribbles in a blanket and Antimatter Flambe.
- Filming had to be shut down on this episode so that the ending could be written, as this episode had been affected by a writer's strike in 1988.

Lord, can we talk about Jenice Manheim's outfit here?

Holy shit, dude.
Costume designer 1: "You know how, in the future, everybody thinks that we'll all be wearing unisex silver unitards and boots?"
Costume Designer 2: "Yeah?"
CD1: "What if we do that, but instead of the stretchy spandex, we make everything billowy? Also, kind of holographic. And the shirt should be a front panel, a swingy panel with a dropped neckline in back, and some billowy sleeves. But no sides. Michelle Phillips is in her forties, so I want to see some side-boob, but it needs to be tasteful side-boob. Like, church side-boob."
CD2: "There's no such thing as church side-boob."
CD1: "Then figure it out, and invent it. This is Star Trek: somebody needs to be showing side-boob, but it can't be any of our main ensemble, because we have to show that we respect women by not showing any of their side-boob. Only guest side-boob will do. Oh, also, her boots should be suede and not quite match her outfit, and even though we're putting her completely in cool colors and pastels, she should be wearing really bright red lipstick."
CD2: "Tasteful side-boob and clown lipstick. Got it."


So let's cut to the chase here: like a lot of season one, this episode is forgettable. Not great, not mind-bogglingly awful, just forgettable. It has good points and bad, and they're all linked..
Good points:
- The science fiction part is actually pretty interesting. A dude moves to the middle of nowhere to experiment with time, but something goes awry, and he accidentally opens a rift in it, causing himself to partially slip through and be in both places at once. That's pretty good. Worth exploring.
- The scene in the observation lounge between Jenice and Picard actually rang pretty true for me. I believed that he was on friendly terms with this woman, and I liked to see that looser version of Picard, the one where he feels comfortable enough to joke with someone else.
Bad points:
- The science was the B-plot instead of the A-plot. The sci-fi was interesting, but went nowhere because we were too busy focusing on whether or not Picard could survive an encounter with an ex.
- With the exception of the observation lounge scene, I wasn't sure I ever fully bought the idea that Picard and Jenice were a couple. I bought her with Manheim, though. Their brief scenes worked well.

Bottom line: not enough sci-fi, which was buried under a Picard romance. I do not like Picard romances. It is not helped by the fact that I ship Picard and Crusher, as the writers want us to do, and it is also not helped by the fact that Picard is a difficult character to write romances for. The person at the top is typically set up as being alone, because it's a bit of a truism that it's lonely at the top. Why did we need a Picard romance at all? It swallowed the sci-fi whole, which was the more interesting plot of the two.

*******

Teeny Zealand

ST:TNG Season One, Episode Nineteen "Coming of Age"

ST:TNG Season One, Episode Nineteen "Coming of Age"
Production Order: 19
Air Order: 19
Stardate: 41461.2
Original Air Date: March 14, 1988

They gave Wes a new haircut. It... does not suit him.

Wes runs down the corridors of the E, and finally catches up with his friend Jake Kurland, who we have never met before. He tries to make awkward small talk, but they finally get around to the crux of the conversation: they both took the pre-test to take the real test to get into Starfleet Academy, but Jake missed it by 32 points, and now Wes is leaving to go take that real test, and they both feel kind of crummy about it. But Jake shakes his hand and genuinely wishes Wes good luck before they part.

Picard's Log 41416.2: "Orbiting Relva VII. Wes Crusher is gonna take the entrance exams to Starfleet Academy, and my buddy Admiral Quinn is there. He's asked to come aboard."

So Wes transports out, and Quinn beams in with this other dude, Lt Cmdr Remmick, the walking, human equivalent of the phrase Stick Up Your Ass.
Picard introduces his staff present, and Quinn stiffly says he wants to talk to Picard. But when Picard attempts to invite Riker also, Quinn barks that Riker cannot come along. Picard is weirded out - I guess it's typical to have the first officer present at "official business" meetings like that? Especially when it's clear that Remmick will be going?
Lightly suspicious music... Opening credits break!

When they get to the ready room, Quinn comes right out with it: Remmick is with the Inspector General's Office. Picard lets out an uncomfortable "ohhh..." because let's face it, you don't really need to know what the Inspector General's Office does. You just know that every other department housed in that office building refers to them as "Dicks R Us." If Umbridge joined Starfleet, she'd be with the Inspector General's Office, right the fuck at the top, bustling everywhere with a clipboard in a uniform that was oddly pinkish instead of dark red.

Then Quinn drops a Vague Bomb: Remmick is here to inspect the Enterprise and her crew because Starfleet suspects that there is something "wrong" on the ship.

Picard is understandably baffled. "Um, what's wrong with the ship? Can I help you find something, or...?"

"No, I can't tell you that," barks Quinn. "But you have to cooperate completely."

He tells Remmick to get on with it, and Remmick is wearing his attitude like it's woven into his uniform: he's got a bit of power here, but he's acting like it's quite a bit more than it actually is. It's the sort of attitude where you hope someone will knock him down a peg or two by the end of the episode.

In the meantime, Picard tries to appeal to his friend by asking what this might be about, but Quinn is all business, and Picard is forced to refer to him as "sir." It's always uncomfortable when Picard calls someone "sir."

Wes is first in the testing room, and of course he's messing with some do-dad. I kind of like that. It speaks to his character. If he were simply the first one in the testing room, it might make him a suck-up, but instead he's playing with something he possibly shouldn't be playing with. Wes likes gadgets, he likes knowing how shit works. Then he gets caught. Another candidate walks in and playfully calls him out for messing with equipment. She's Oliana Mirren, and it seems she's heard of him before. She says he's described as "very smart and very young."

They're soon joined by the other candidates, T'Shanik and a Benzite named Mordock. T'Shanik tells Wes that he looks too young to be joining Starfleet and Wes replies that his sixteenth birthday is the following month, so now we know what the age minimum is for the 24 century. (That doesn't explain how the hell Tina Lawton ended up finishing the Academy's four-year course and landing a spot on the flagship of Starfleet at age 17, but TOS was all over the place, so if they wanted a teenage girl on the Enterprise, they just put her there.)

Wes briefly fangirls over Mordock, who is the creator of the Mordock Strategy, a chess move. Then the instructor, Tac Officer Chang, enters and the testing begins.

You know what I noticed? Clever wardrobe people very subtly gave each of the candidates outfits that included Ops gold, command red, and science blue.

Check out Mordock, yo. He's pretty awesome. That little light-up do-hickey in front of his face occasionally lets out this puff of something, so I'm guessing that the Benzite atmosphere is different enough to warrant wearing one of those. He's just a really cool alien. The make-up team was nominated for an Emmy for this episode, so I gotta guess it was for Mordock.

Upstairs, Remmick is pretty much standing over everyone, tapping out notes on a tiny PADD. It's unnerving, to the point where people keep asking him if he needs their help with anything. Geordi looks like he'd like to get sassy with with Remmick, but he knows better, so his tone is almost apologetic when he says that they're just in standard orbit, and the conn positions need to be manned as a matter of routine. Remmick tells Riker that he'll want to speak to him alone later, and Riker decides to ask Picard about this crap. He heads into the ready room.
"Am I being investigated?" he asks point-blank.
"Dunno," admits Picard. "Can't tell you even if I knew."
"This sucks."
"I agree."
But they're both frustrated, and it ends with raised voices. Riker stomps out of the ready room and onto the bridge.
"Let's have that chat," says Remmick.
"Fuck off," replies Riker.
Remmick tries to get all high and mighty about how everyone has to cooperate with him.
"I SAID FUCK OFF, I HAVE SHIT TO DO!" yells Riker, getting in the lift. It closes satisfyingly in Remmick's face.
Dramatic music! Commercial break!

We see the last question on the written exam about intermix ratios, which Wes gets instantly because it's a trick question. (The intermix ratio for matter-antimatter is 1:1, which you can now use at trivia nights, or when taking your own entrance exam at the Academy. 

Hey, man. Don't knock it. All those nerds who grew up watching this show are now scientists hell-bent on making this shit a reality. We already have early-stage replicators and transporters, so we may not be that far off. So when your grandchild is struggling over intermix ratio questions on AP Science homework, you can confidently tell them that it's 1:1, because you read it on some dumb blog...which I will probably still be writing, because reboots.)

Mordock and Wes talk about how there could only have been one answer, and Oliana feels bad, because she didn't get the answer in time. She says it must be nice to be them, having the answers come so easily. Wes backs up and apologetically tells her that he has to study all the time.

"It's a good thing you're cute, or you could really be obnoxious," she laughs, just before leaving.

I am... not touching that with a ten-foot pole.

Wes is kind of charmed. "Mordock, she said I'm cute!" he beams.

"Is that good?" asks Mordock, reminding us that not every species procreates the same.

"Yes! I think?"

Riker enters the bridge and tries to apologize for yelling at Picard earlier.
"No need," answers Picard. "Remmick is a total twat-waffle, and he has everybody on edge."
Remmick then enters from the other lift and asks if Riker is now ready for their "chat." He uses a Sassy Moment voice, but again, that dude is a twat-waffle, so I'm not awarding him a Sassy Moment. Suck it, Remmick.
Riker agrees and they go into the ready room. Remmick says that there are "discrepancies" in the captain's log.
"Have you asked him about those?" asks Riker.
"No! I'm asking you, and we're gonna go over them with a fine-tooth comb!"
There's a tense pause, then -
"Fine. Let's do this, motherfucker," Riker replies.

Next we go to Engineering, where Remmick is hassling Geordi, following him around while he does shit at various stations by the warp engines. They're talking about the incident with Kosinski and The Traveler, where the E ended up at the edge of the universe and beyond. Remmick is accusing Picard of losing control of the ship.
Geordi has no patience for this shit. "Bitch, what did I just say? Starfleet sent us Kosinski, with the direct orders for us to let him "improve" the engines."
"But the bridge crew objected to him," Remmick presses. He just "decides" that Picard lost control of the ship.
Geordi lets out this short sigh that says, "OMG, fuck you sideways with a katana."

Next up: Troi.
Remmick demands to know if Picard has ever had a mental lapse that would mean he was not fit to run the ship.
"Never," she replies.
"What about the thing with the Ferengi and the Stargazer?"
"Hello? He was being controlled by a mind-altering machine," she answers.
"Hello? That counts as mental lapse." He types "yes" in on his PADD.
Troi considers getting Geordi that katana that he said he wanted.

Wes is chilling on an unused holodeck when Worf enters. He's about to turn it on when he notices Wes just leaning against the wall. The acting ensign tells the Klingon that he's finished with today's tests, but is worried about the psychological portion, which will be based on his deepest fears. He wants to program some fears into the holodeck to practice facing them, but isn't certain what he's most afraid of.
"Thinking about something which you can't control wastes energy and creates its own enemy," Worf says wisely.
Wes is annoyed. "I don't know what my biggest fear is - how do they know?"
"They check out your psych profile," Worf answers. "They were right on the gold-pressed latinum for me and everyone I tested with."
"I thought Klingon warriors weren't afraid of anything?"

Wes feels like he may have overstepped his boundaries by asking too many personal questions, but Worf sees that this kid could use a mentor, so he continues on. He tells Wes that he struggles to depend on others, especially with his life.

"But... you have depend on everyone on the Enterprise to do that everyday," reasons Wes. "How did you overcome your fear?"

"I haven't," he answers. 

Y'all... that was a great scene. They've been really stepping it up with Worf lately, not only giving him more screentime and better lines, but giving him more to work with overall. And I like the fact that we see Wes worrying about his future here. A lot is riding on whether or not he'll get in, and it's assumed that he will, but he doesn't know that yet. That they paired Worf and Wes together here makes it even better for both characters.

Now if we could only do the same for Tasha...

Riker and Picard are having a perfectly normal, stress-free convo on the bridge at one of the science stations, when an alarm goes off. It's the shuttle bay, and Yar reports that someone is taking a shuttle. She says it's Jake Kurland. We know him, the kid who didn't quite make the cut to take the Academy entrance exams.

The bridge crew hops into action, but Remmick hops into Asshole Mode.

"Isn't that area secure?" he asks in a snotty tone.

"Go fuck yourself," Riker replies.

Worf relays that Jake is using the emergency override to open the bay doors.

"Smart kid," remarks Geordi.

"Kid?!" says Remmick. He goes ignored.

Picard calmly calls the shuttle. He's being followed by Remmick.

A shaky-sounding Jake comes on the line, saying that he's flying someplace else to sign on with a freighter. He can't face his father after failing that test. Unfortunately, an alarm goes off in the shuttle. He's accidentally effed up the dilithium reaction.

He's lost power, and is less than two minutes from burning up in the atmosphere of Relva. The bridge crew discusses options. Too far away for a tractor beam, too far away for a transporter lock. Then fucking Remmick physically steps in front of Picard to yell in his face that he's "responsible for that boy!" right in the middle of a mother. Fucking. Crisis.

Picard is so done. "Move. Your skinny ass. Out. Of my way."

Sensing that he could very likely walk away with a broken nose, Remmick wisely steps back. Picard puts Jake on viewscreen. Jake is now panicking. Picard reassures him that they get him back safely, as Riker is quietly telling Picard that the shuttle needs 50 seconds for the core to cool off before it can start again.

Picard tells Jake to aim the shuttle at Relva, wait until it hits a certain speed, then pull up hard.

"I'm gonna crash!"

"You're going to be just fine."

But Jake does what he says and manages to come out in one piece. Everyone cheers, including Remmick.

"That was incredible!" he says. "How did he do it?"

"He built up enough speed to bounce off the atmosphere," smiles Geordi.

Jake is told to bring the shuttle back and report to Riker.

Remmick slips easily from "Hooray! You did it!" right back into Asshole Mode. "How did that kid get access to a shuttle?"

Riker puts the smack-down on Remmick by stating that Kurland is a "highly-qualified Academy candidate" with a lot of experience in multiple areas, including shuttlecraft.

"Did this training include discipline?" demands Remmick dickishly.

You know Riker is probably in charge of Kurland's training, just as he is in charge of Wes's training, and is not going to take that crap lying down. He looks like he's going to punch Remmick. But Picard stops Riker long enough to calmly explain to Remmick that everyone makes "rash choices" sometimes, and that when he gets back, Jake Kurland will get a refresher in discipline.

Sadly, no one punches Remmick.

Downstairs, Wes is walking through the Relva complex with Mordock when a huge gold shirt asks him where to drop off a package. He gives directions to a nearby office, but when the gold shirt passes, they knock shoulders. The gold shirt becomes enraged and blames the incident on Wes, who stammers an apology. Chang happens by and asks if there's a problem. The gold shirt pulls out some "do you know who I am?" bullshit. But then Wes switches tactics, and starts yelling back.

"You bumped into me! This was your fault! Do you want your ass kicked?"

The gold shirt smiles. "Naw, we're good, friend." And he walks away.

"WTF?" asks Mordock.

"When he gestured, I saw that his fingers were webbed," explains Wes. "He's a Zaldan. They think courtesy is phony, and it pisses them off. So I yelled at him instead."
Chang admits that it was an unannounced test to see how the candidates deal with certain situations.
Mordock muses that, not having heard of Zaldans before, he would not have passed that test.

Upstairs, Remmick has Data in the observation lounge, and inquires as to whether or not he has to tell the truth, being an android and all. Data answers in the affirmative. Remmick is being all weird and secretive, as though everyone thus far has been lying to him, and Data will give him all the information that everyone else has been hiding. He tells Data that there's something wrong with the logs and with Picard, and Data tells him that there is nothing wrong with either.

"That's not acceptable!" says Remmick.

Sassy Data Moment! "Acceptable or not, sir - it is the truth."

He swings the computer screen back at Remmick, and Brent Spiner gives him the smarmiest look he can pull out while still remaining in character. "Suck it, biiiiitch."

Next up is Worf. Remmick asks "how did this contaminant get aboard the ship?" (He's asking about the Naked Now illness.)
Remmick tries to make it Picard's fault, but Worf is stoically insistent that it was an accident.
"You don't like me very much, do you?" asks Remmick.
Dude: Sassy Worf Moment:

Cut to Remmick grilling Crusher, and guess what he asks her about?

That's right! Jack Crusher is dead! It's pretty much Picard's fault!

And while her words do not necessarily warrant a Sassy Moment, the fact that she laughs softly before answering, and especially her tone, definitely earn her a spot on the list:

YAAAASSSS!

Finally, Remmick grills Picard about saving Wes from the Edo, violating the Prime Directive. Picard admits to it freely, and reminds Remmick that he's interrogated all of his senior officers and found nothing. Remmick suggests that Picard is afraid of being found guilty of... something. Like, we have no idea what he's even after, and we're more than half-way through this episode.

"The only thing I'm guilty of is letting this drag out this long," Picard tells him, and walks away.

Dramatic music! Commercial break!

Picard goes to the quarters where Quinn is staying. "Cut the bullshit, Quinn. What do you want?"
"Remmick's report is almost ready. You can be here when he reports it back to me," Quinn replies.
"I don't know if I want to be your friend anymore," growls Picard.
"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. I had to do this, though."
He calls Remmick, who replies that he'll be right there. Remmick's voice has lost its pitbull quality and taken on a weasely-lackey tone. Ugh.

In the testing center, the candidates are taking this weird test when a cube made of dots rotates on their screens, while other dots fly at it. The candidates have to make the flying dots go to the cube so the whole thing turns green or something. I don't really know. It looks kind of futuristic, so they slapped some science-y jargon onto it, enough that the audience will shrug and go, "Okay, I'll buy it." It looks like a cabinet game from the 1980's, but all the candidates are struggling, so we're also supposed to buy that it's difficult. I have no idea what they're actually doing. "Inputting vector coordinates" or something.

Anyway, Mordock is losing faith, and Wes coaches him from his own station. Mordock completes the test just before Wes does, and the girls appear to finish as well before time is up.

Chang comes in, congratulates Mordock on getting the second-fastest time on that test ever, and Mordock complains that he only finished the test because Wes helped him.

"Yep," says Chang cheerfully, unconcerned. "You get an hour free time before the next test."

"The psych test?" asks Wes.

Chang frowns and acts all serious, correcting Wesley on the proper labeling of the "psychological evaluation" but then he smiles and ends with, "but "psych test" will do."

You know, I really like Chang. He reminds of Sulu, and it makes me wonder if this actor (Robert Ito) is a fan of Sulu, because he seems to be channeling our former helmsman. There's just enough seriousness that you know that he's a competent officer and the guy who's got your back in a pinch, but enough of a playful sense of humor exists that you'd probably like to get a drink with him after shift.

 

Meanwhile, Remmick reports in for his meeting with Quinn. Picard is there, staring out the window.

"Um, so... I did what you asked," says Remmick. "I tried to find something wrong, and I talked to all of the crew members and went through the logs, but I couldn't find anything. Like, the bridge crew is... familiar, but it's because they treat each other like family and stuff."

Quinn dismisses him. When he starts to leave, Remmick turns and addresses Picard.

"I'm done with the Inspector General's Office in six months," he says. "Then I want to come work for you here."

Picard gives him this look like, "That's a terrible jo- oh, you were serious."

Remmick shrinks a little. Quinn's look also says, "That was awful timing."

The lieutenant-commander leaves.

Then Quinn drops another Vague Bomb: Starfleet didn't send them to investigate something being wrong on the E. Quinn is doing this all on his own. And he didn't want there to be something wrong on the E, because that would mean that there's probably something wrong with Picard, and he wants to trust Picard, blah, blah, blah, run-on sentences and crap that's supposed to be tension-building, but which is actually irritating filler, and we finally get to the very vague crux: there's some kind of threat to the Federation, and he doesn't know if it's from the inside or the outside, but he wants to promote Picard to admiral and put him in charge of the Academy. Also, surprise: there was never actually anything wrong with the E, he needed to make sure that Picard was on the up-and-up.

"Sorry, didn't catch that. Perhaps if you were more vague?"

Picard decides to think about it, and give the admiral his decision later.

Downstairs, Mordock comes out of his psych test shaking, and he tells Wes that he will be fine. Wes is shown into a tiny empty room with one chair. He announces his presence, and when no one answers, he thinks maybe they forgot about his test. He then tries to talk himself into remaining calm.
There's a loud thud outside, which he quietly investigates. More explosions, and he's now out the door, looking for the source. He locates it down the hall, in the environmental lab.
An open door reveals an on-going accident scene. Wes yells for help, just as the trapped workers do as well.

One dude, who's kept his wits about him, yells to Wes that there's going to be another explosion, and the room will automatically seal itself off before that to contain the damage. They have thirty seconds before that happens, but he can't go anywhere, as his legs are crushed under some fallen pipes. There's another guy at the back of the lab who looks like he's about to lose his mind. He seems to be moving alright, but he keeps hugging a pipe connected to the wall and yelling, "We're all gonna die!"
"Help me!" Wes yells to him, trying to dig out the guy with the crushed legs.
But guy #2 just shakes his head and yells again that they're all gonna die.
Wes frees guy #1 and begins the first aid drag, pulling the dude out by his under arms. He keeps yelling encouragement to guy #2, who still has his arms firmly wrapped around that pipe.
Guy #2 insists that he can't move.
"I can't carry you both!" Wes calls back to him.
He drags guy #1 out into the corridor just in time, yelling "I'm sorry!" to guy #2. The doors snap shut.

Chang steps up to Wes, and Wes, seeing him, starts yelling frantically about an accident in the environmental lab.
But then Crushed Legs Guy gets up and shakes Wes' hand, thanking him before walking away. The doors to the enviro lab open, and Panicky "We're All Gonna Die!" Guy walks out, giving Wes a quick nod before leaving casually down the hall.
"So yeah, that was your psych test," says Chang, confirming what is clearly dawning on Wes' face.
And Wes finally walks himself through what turns out to have been his biggest fear: Jack Crusher was killed when Picard had to make a choice that ultimately lead to the death of his best friend. Wes was afraid that when the time came, he would not be able to make a choice like that. And while it didn't quite occur here in the same way - the panicky guy was a stranger rather than a close friend - he was forced to make a life or death choice, and he did so.
For once, I do not have to use the horse photo when talking about Jack Crusher's death, because for once, it's used correctly. We've seen it utilized to define relationships and needlessly tug at heart-strings, but we've never quite gotten around to talking about the fact that it would have not only affected Wes, but actually formed the person he would become. And that it would form the basis of his biggest fear, and inform on the career path he wished to take.

Chang tells him that he did well, even though there was no right or wrong answer.

But let's face it - the psych test is only 50% for the benefit of Starfleet. That other half is for the person applying. While the results could be helpful to Wes in gaining entrance to the Academy, it's really more helpful for him to know that he was able to stare down this previously unknown fear, and make the decision he wasn't certain he could make.

Upstairs, Picard is staring out the ready room window. There's a cool shot of Riker entering from the door, and we see him reflected in the glass.
Riker tells Picard that Remmick has left, and Picard reveals that Remmick found nothing, and that Quinn was impressed by the crew. Picard tells Riker that Quinn was watching him, and has offered him a promotion, to be commandant of Starfleet Academy.
Riker is genuinely pleased for his captain, saying that this promotion sounds like a great job, and won't it be awesome to mold some new minds for Starfleet...?
But he recognizes that Picard is on the fence, and needs to do some more thinking before making his choice.

Downstairs, Chang laments that they can only choose one candidate to enter the Academy, and hopes that the others will test again, because he thinks they're all awesome. Then he announces that Mordock scored a tiny bit higher than Wes, and that he will be the first Benzite in Starfleet.

Mordock protests, because Wes helped him. Chang says that all things were taken into account, and Mordock still would have scored a little bit better, even if Wes had not lost a few seconds time in helping him. Chang leaves, followed shortly by T'Shanik, who must be pretty pissed off that she lost. Oliana shakes Mordock's hand, then playfully tells Wes that he should be looking out for her next year, before she also exits.

Picard is making his way down the corridor in his dress skant when he and Jake Kurland do the Awkward Dance.  They go around one another, and Jake seems grateful that Picard has opted to ignore him, but then cringes when he is called back. He stammers apologies for damaging the shuttle, explanations of how he is now going to fix the shuttle as part of Riker's "discipline training" and thanks for saving his life. Picard reminds him that running away is not the answer, and that it's his job to ensure that everyone on the E remains safe.

I guess he's doing the mentor tour, because Picard finds Wes in the observation lounge.

"How come you're not in dress uniform for the admiral's farewell dinner?" he asks.

"Seemed inappropriate," admits Wes. "I... uh, I didn't get it. I failed you and the E."

"No, that's dumb," says Picard. "You did your best, and you'll do better when you re-test next year. You're only competing against yourself, and you shouldn't be taking me or anyone else into account when you do the test."

"Look," he says, "I'm gonna tell you something that I've never told anyone else... Wesley Albus Severus Crusher, you were named for two guys from another fandom who were heroes but also really kind of fucked up, and it's okay if you get sorted into Slytherfleet."

Naw, just screwing with you.

He admits that he also failed the test the first time.

Wes is baffled, and Picard says that he did not fail the second time, implying that Wes will not, either.

And they go to the admiral's dinner, so that Picard can "disappoint an old friend."

We skip the dinner, but go straight to Picard saying goodbye to Quinn. Quinn wishes that Picard had taken the commandant position, but smiles and shrugs, saying that he's been playing politics for so long that he now sees conspiracies everywhere. He gets on the pad and beams away.

Picard returns to the bridge and gives Wes the destination. He makes a note to Wes about "continuing with our mission," and they warp away.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.
No, okay. That's not true. We got two Wes-based episodes back-to-back here, and neither one was the best or worst.
But we did get one pretty good episode that played up to Wil Wheaton's strengths, and one that did not. In "When the Bough Breaks," he's asked to play the part of Wes-as-revolutionary, which doesn't really ever pan out. He likes the Aldeans and never gets around to giving them the verbal smack-down that they so sorely needed. They give that bit to Picard, which waters down Wes' part considerably. But in "Coming of Age," Wil is asked to portray an uncertain Wes, possibly on the brink of starting his adult career, and it works because Wil, at the same age as Wes, may have been grappling with the same issues. It reads better. What's more, they build his character up by not only playing him against Worf, but by factoring in his past and what has made him the person that he is at this moment in time. All of these things work well for the character of Wes, and make it that much easier for Wil to slip into the role.
The other thing I like about this episode is that it allows us to see a bit of Starfleet "behind the curtain." We know these people aren't just wandering around in space alone, we know they're connected to a larger organization, but that organization is pretty nebulous. There's a hierarchy, yes, and sometimes we see others in it, but there isn't a lot of talk about how things run. In this particular episode, we see how two different parts operate: how one gets into the organization to begin with, and how things run once one is further along on the pecking order.
We see other candidates, people vying to get into Starfleet, and the exams they must pass in order to proceed to training. The written stuff is expected, but the psych test not as much (unless you factor in for the Kobayashi Maru, which cadets get stuck with at the Academy). Again, the psych test is as helpful for the Academy hopeful as it is for Starfleet, and I find myself wondering what everyone else's psych tests were like.
It's also hinted at that Wes' ability to cheerlead his teammates is appreciated by Chang and others doing the testing, something he would have picked up working on the E.
I do like the fact that he didn't get in, though. It has several advantages: one, this way we get to see more of his character before they ship him off to San Francisco; two, we get to hear from two very different characters (Worf and Picard) how their exams went, which means a bit of character development on their part; and three, we get to see how Wes deals with failure. We know how he reacts when he's correct but treated as an underling (either frustrated or douchey, for some reason), but knowing how someone reacts to failure is just as good for character-building (and sometimes better) than seeing them succeed.
The addition of Jake Kurland is interesting. We start out knowing that he hasn't passed the initial step to getting into Starfleet, and we see Wes feel bad for him while being elated that he himself made it. That's a tricky situation to be in, and one that Wes handled nicely. His friend does not feel slighted. For Jake, this probably feels like the end of the world, which is why he made the rash decision to run away and join a freighter. We don't really know anything about signing up for freighter duty, but we can guess that it takes more physical skills than mental skills, and that working on a freighter is something that people in the 24th century do not aspire to. Is there anything wrong with that? Probably not, but it sounds like the sort of thing that others react to with a sad, "I wanted better for him." Here's the funny thing about Jake that marks a difference between TOS and TNG: on the original series, Jake would have died. Think about it: any time TOS introduces a character who has a backstory and obvious friends on the ship, it is only to tug at heartstrings more when that character dies needlessly later in the episode. By TOS rules, Jake should have been red-shirted. But TNG plays by different rules, and characters who are introduced and given backgrounds and relationships are allowed to merely fade into non-existence. They may return later for recurring roles, but most likely they simply served their purpose of furthering the story, and will never be seen again.

Seeing the bureaucratic side of Starfleet was also interesting, if a bit vague, (That seems to be the thee for this episode.) Quinn appears with Remmick, and Picard, though non-plussed, doesn't question it when Quinn orders him to cooperate. It seems as though he never asked for any confirmation that Starfleet wanted the E checked out... he just takes his friend's word for it. The crew goes along (again, no one questions it), and they cooperate, but make it quite clear that they'd rather be disemboweling Remmick with the aforementioned katana. Then, when Quinn finally tells Picard that he thinks there's trouble afoot, we get some X-Files conspiracy theory shit, and Quinn admits that the politics he has to play every day probably contributes to his seeing this stuff that may or may not exist. It really just plays into the Star Trek mantra of "Don't ever get promoted above captain. It'll make you into a fancy asshole."

Bottom line: this episode was pretty good. Not the best, not the worst. But fairly good for a Wes story.

Red deaths: 0

Gold deaths: 0

Blue deaths: 0

Obnoxious Wes moments: 0

Legitimate Wes moments when he should have told someone to go fuck themselves: 0

Sassy Geordi moments: 0

Sassy Wes Moments: 0

Sassy Worf Moment: 1

Sassy Riker Moments: 0

Sassy Yar Moments: 0

Sassy Picard Moments: 0

Sassy NPC Moments: 0
Sassy Data Moments: 1
Sassy Crusher Moments: 1

Number of times that it is mentioned that Data is an android: 1

Number of times that Troi reacts to someone else's feelings: 0

Number of times that Geordi "looks at something" with his VISOR: 0

Fun Facts:

- There's actually an action figure of Mordock, as well as a trading card.

- John Putch, the guy who played Mordock, was actually asked back to play Mordon, another Benzite in a later episode. ("A Matter of Honor") This made him the first person to play two different characters on TNG of the same species. He was all flattered to be specifically asked to play Mordon, but later realized that it was because they'd built the Mordock head to fit his own head, and another actor would not gave fit into it correctly.

- The matte painting for Relva was originally used in three episodes of 1979's "Buck Rogers in the Twenty-Fifth Century." It was painted by Dan Curry of the Star Trek special effects team, and altered ever-so-slightly for inclusion in this episode. It still hangs in Curry's home.

- This was the first episode where Maurice Hurley was showrunner. He paid for a trip to Tahiti for Gene Rod and Majel Barrett, with the understanding that he would run the show while Gene was gone. When they returned, Gene gave the writing staff over to Maurice rather than picking up where he left off.
- A scene of Wes' sixteenth birthday was filmed but then cut. It supposedly included a humorous conversation between Worf and Data, where they discuss birthdays.
- We have to assume that Remmick talked to Yar, because the episode states that he spoke with all of the senior officers, but her interview is not shown.
-This episode features the first appearance of the shuttlecraft model on TNG.

"I am helping, yes?"