ST:TNG Season One, Episode Twenty-Five "Conspiracy"

ST:TNG Season One, Episode Twenty-Five "Conspiracy"
Production Order: 25
Air Order: 25
Stardate: 41775.5
Original Air Date: May 9, 1988

Let's be honest: I could have posted this for the last 49 weeks, and it would still be true.

*******

Riker's Log 41775.5: "Going to this one planet  - Pacifica - with a bunch of beaches. Gonna do some science stuff, yeah, but also, gonna do some swimming and tropical vacay things while we're there."

So right off the bat we know two things:
1. They're not going to Pacifica.
2. What they're going to be waylaid with is going to be unpleasant.

Because this is Star Trek, anytime they tell us that they're going on shore leave, or they're going to be visiting someplace nice, you know they're going to get side-tracked. There isn't money in Star Trek's ever-shitty budget to ship them all to some lovely place where they'll film on location, and there also seems to be some kind of weird formula that states that the nicer their intended location, the worse the actual destination will be. For instance, last week the E was headed for some bona fide shore leave, and where do they end up? Some rock out in BFE.

Down at the front of the bridge, Geordi tells Data a joke. We only hear the punchline, but it doesn't sound like it's all that great a joke, so no worries. What we're supposed to be looking for here is Data's reaction - how does a dude with no sense of humor, but a sense of irony, deal with a joke? He dissects it. And in this case, he decides that it's probably funny, and he starts laughing. It's the fakest, creepiest laugh ever.
Data, I love you. Never make that noise again.

Troi tells Riker that she's looking forward to a moonlight swim at Pacifica, and Data relays back that the holodeck has programs that she can use to get the same effect. She says it isn't the same and tries appealing to Worf, who looks disgusted and states that swimming is too much like bathing.
And you know, I feel like that's kind of a cheap shot to insist that Klingons (or even just Worf) is anti-hygiene because he's a big warrior-type. Seems like a stereotype, and one that's kind of tired.

Data suddenly reports that he's getting a Code 47 message, and because we need to know what that is, Troi gives Riker a worried look and says "Code 47 - for Captain's Eyes Only."
He wakes up Picard to alert him to the message, which Picard accepts in his quarters.
Apparently, we need further exposition, so Majel Barrett spells it out: the captain can't discuss the message with other officers. Also, there won't be a record of the message, and it's on a secure channel. Picard has to agree before he can see it.
When the computer screen clears, it's his friend, Captain Walker Keel. They greet each other warmly, but then Keel switches it up and says that he needs to see Picard about something. He's being super mysterious, and refuses to say what this is all about, even on a secure channel. He tells Picard to meet him immediately on Dytallix-B before signing off.
Dramatic music! Opening credits break!

Picard enters the bridge and immediately asks Data about Dytallix-B in front of everyone. Data relays back that it's in a nearby system, and that it's one of several planets that was mined by the Dytallix Mining Company. Picard tells Geordi to plot a course there, and that there will be no record of them going there. Riker objects - they're supposed to be going someplace else, but Picard shuts him up and locks himself in his ready room.
Later, on their way to this new destination, Data tells Riker that he has pulled up the info he requested on Dytallix-B. It's the same info, just some more about the set-up of the mines, and how there isn't anyone left there. Data tells Riker that it is a worthless hunk of rock, ect. and gets a "Thank you, Data" for his troubles. Riker informs Picard that they have arrived. When Picard comes back onto the bridge, Worf reports that there are already two frigates in orbit around Dytallix-B, and that a third ship is coming into orbit, Walker Keel's ship.
"Oh, hey," says Riker. "Isn't that your buddy?"
"Um, yeah," says Picrad shiftily. "I'm gonna beam down for a few. Hold down the fort."
Riker is a smart officer who knows the rules, so he tries to object, but Picard puts the smack-down on him and climbs into the lift.
The bridge crew exchanges looks.

Picrad had Data scan for life-forms, and when Data found three, Picard has the transporter chief plug those in as beam-down coordinates. He re-materializes in the entrance of a creepy old mine shaft.

I'm really digging this mine shaft set.

Picard descends down the ramp, and three people come out of the shaft toward him: Walker Keel, Tryla Scott, and Captain Rixx, an alien. Rixx and Scott have their weapons trained on him.
"What the hell?" Picard asks Keel.
"Where did we meet?" responds Keel.
"Tau Ceti III. It was a bar, and quite an exotic one, if I remember. What do I win?" he asks sarcastically.
"What about the night you introduced Jack and Beverly Crusher?"
"I didn't introduce them. You did."
"Um, it was my brother," puts in Keel.
"You don't have a brother!" roars Picard. "WTF, Walker?"

"It's cool," Keel says to the others, and they lower their weapons. He introduces Rixx, but Picard says they met at some conference. Apparently, he gets this right, because Rixx nods.

Then Keel introduces Tryla Scott, but Picard knows about her: "It's said you made captain faster than anyone in Starfleet history, present company included. Are you that good?"
Scott smiles. "Yes, I am."
Fuck, yeah! Get it, girl! I love the fact that she doesn't pull out some bullshit modesty thing here. She knows she's good, and she admits it.

We finally get around to the reason they called him there: something weird is going on with Starfleet command. They can't prove anything, but there's been some strange things happening - an evacuation of a starbase with no explanation, the moving of personnel, a handful of deaths chalked up to accidents. Picard admits that this is news to him, as the E has been on the "outer rim." They tell him that they think the E will be targeted. Keel says some top officers at Starfleet are acting weird, and Rixx puts in that they "tested" Picard because these changed officers often don't have complete memories, and try to "bluff their way through talk of old times."
Picard is skeptical.
Keel says he doesn't trust his own crew anymore, that he feels several of his own crew are changed as well.
Scott begs him to keep on the lookout, and Picard agrees.
Keel tells him to say hi to Beverly for him, which is going to be difficult, seeing as how he then tells Picard not to say anything to anyone about this meeting.
Picard agrees to think about it, and beams out.
And so, the formula works: they were headed for paradise, and they ended up on another rock in the middle of nowhere.

Upstairs, Picard decides to tell Troi. He starts out by talking about his own Three Musketeers: Jean-Luc Picard, Walker Keel, and Jack Crusher. This is why he trusts Keel implicitly - they're hella old friends.
Troi plays Devil's Advocate and points out that Picard risked his career by meeting with the others, that they were breaking a ton of Starfleet regulations. He counters by telling her that, if this thing goes all the way to the top, then they'll need to break some rules and ignore some orders to find out. When she asks if he plans to tell the crew, he declines - he doesn't want to drag them down with him if it's all crap.

They go back out to the bridge, and Picard tells Geordi that they should head off for Pacifica now. Then he tells Data that he's going to give him a special assignment. Data seems as pleased as he can for a guy who is trying to fake all of his emotions.
Data sits at the ready room computer and asks it to give him all of Starfleet's communications from the last six months.
Crusher enters the bridge and says she heard the Picard met up with Keel's ship.
"Did you see Walker?"
"No,"lies Picard. "No time."
"Aw, too bad," she sighs, and sits in one of those non-seats to the left of Troi's chair.
Oops, now there's a "disturbance" in a nearby quadrant. They're already ten hours late arriving at Pacifica, what's a few more hours while they rubber-neck?
They come up on some wreckage, and Worf guesses that it could only be Keel's ship, completely destroyed.

Picard's Personal Log 41776.1: "This sucks. Like, a lot. And now I'm wondering if Walker was right. I told Riker about Walker's suspicions."

Picard and Riker meet up in the observation lounge. Riker is also skeptical.

"Okay, yeah, I get that," admits Picard. "But remember when Admiral Quinn was here before, and he was all like, "something weird is going on" and we weren't quite sure what the hell he was talking about? What if that's the same thing?"

Riker is still not buying what Picard isn't sure he wants to sell.

Back in the ready room, Data is still scanning through all of those Starfleet communiques.

He starts whispering how they're "fascinating," and the computer is all, "Huh?"

Data corrects himself: "Sorry, computer. I was talking to myself." Then he pauses. "Dude! I was talking to myself!" He's pretty stoked that he picked up another human idiosyncrasy and was using it without thinking.
"Huh?" asks the computer again.
Data begins listing off all the reasons why a person might talk to themselves, and the computer interrupts him with a "Thank you, Mr Data."
Damn. Twice in one day.

Data busts in on Riker and Picard, who are now arguing over whether or not Keel's ship was destroyed by sabotage.
"I found that thing you asked me to look for," Data tells Picard.
He busts out another one of those laptops, and shows them how there's been a weird "reshuffling" of Starfleet personnel, usually at command level, and all of the new people have spent time with the upper echelons of Starfleet command. These people were all sent to take over command of starbases, colonies and ships within a certain cone-shaped area.
"Dude... like, an invasion?" asks Riker.
He now believes because... well, they put an android on the case. If you want yourself some truth, you get an android.
"Possibly," says Data. "But there isn't enough info to say who's behind it."
"We can't just walk into Starfleet Headquarters and demand to know what the fuck is up," says Riker reasonably.
Data considers it. "Porque no?"
"Yeah, why not?" asks Picard. "If shit's going down, then sooner or later we're going to have to walk the fuck in there and find out what the deal is."

Picard's Personal Log: "Going to Earth. Told the rest of the bridge crew."

Dude, there's an awesome shot here, where the E flies between Earth and the moon.

Starfleet headquarters calls. It's three admirals, including Quinn. The other human is Aaron, and the Vulcan is Savar.

"Hey, whut up, Enterprise. Fancy you, in this neighborhood."

Picard and Quinn exchange pleasantries.

"Sooo, what's the deal?" asks Savar. "You guys are supposed to be at Pacifica, but the guy in charge there says you guys canceled."

"Yeah, I wanna talk about that in person," answers Picard.

Wait, WTH? What is that dumb motherfucker doing here?

Remmick slides in and whispers some sweet nothings into Savar's pointy ear, then Savar is all, "Gotta go. Gotta talk secretly for a few."
When he signs off, Riker is immediately behind Picard. "What's that little brown-nosing asswipe doing here?"
Picard asks Troi what she thinks, and she says someone is hiding something, but it's super-vague. Everyone agrees that the admirals are all acting pretty normal, but Geordi thinks it's weird that they're not getting the smack-down for canceling on a mission and just randomly going home.
The admirals call back.
"Okay, cool. Let's do dinner, in like twenty minutes. Bring your first officer. It'll be fab."
"Sweet," agrees Picard.
"Oh, hey," adds Quinn. "I can't go to the dinner, but I want to beam up to see the E again and say hello."
Picard agrees and they all sign off.
"Well, that's good news at least," remarks Picard. "If Quinn wants to talk to us without the others there, then it means he's still on our side."

Another sweet-ass matte painting here of Starfleet Headquarters. Some real nice establishing shots in this episode.

Quinn goes into the transporter room and opens what looks like a Trapper-Keeper on steroids. There's this weird, wiggly Play-Doh bug inside. Then he closes the Trapper-Keeper when Remmick walks in, and the admiral says he is ready to beam up.
Dramatic music! Commercial break!

Quinn transports up with his bug-thing, where Picard and Riker meet him.
Picard and Quinn greet each other warmly, and Picard says he looks great, not tired like he was complaining about before.
"Naw, I was tired of the same old-same old," says Quinn. "Feeling energized now. Pep in my step."
They're walking through the corridors, and Picard brings up what Quinn said earlier, about thinking that there was a vague threat to the Federation that would destroy everything.
"Aw, man. You took me literally! I'm sorry about that," says Quinn. "I was just talking about bringing new worlds into the Federation, and how stressful that can be."

"Oh, okay," replies Picard.
But you can tell he thinks Quinn is full of shit. A guy complains that there's a threat that may destroy their organization, but then brushes it off by saying he just meant that it was stressful bringing new people in? That's not even the same thing, not by a long shot.

"So I want to freshen up, then look around," says Quinn.
"Okay," answers Picard. "How about I go downstairs to Headquarters to meet the others, and Riker can stay here and give you a tour?"
Riker seems surprised, and Quinn says he totally doesn't have to stay, but Picard insists, and says that Riker can pop down when he's done.
They all agree, with Quinn adding that he might want to stay awhile.
Yeah, that's not fishy as fuck. You can't make a dinner in twenty minutes, but you have plenty of time at the exact same time to freely roam the Enterprise?

Quinn goes off to his quarters, and Picard pulls Riker down the corridor and back into the transporter room.
"So that's not Quinn," Picard tells him. "I want you to watch him like a hawk, and see if you can get Crusher to do a full medical eval on him."
"Um, that's an admiral," Riker points out.
"I don't give a shit if he's the queen," argues Picard. "Get some info on him, then come downstairs."
"...are you beaming down unarmed after giving me that warning?" demands Riker.
"I can watch out for myself," he replies.
Then he looks beyond Riker and says "Energize," which means that they just had a super-secret talk in front of a transporter chief.
...I don't even know what's going on with this organization.

Picard meets Admirals Aaron and Savar, and freaking Remmick.
He questions the lack of activity in the space where they're meeting, and Remmick says pleasantly that it's a quiet night.
Okay, seriously: why do evil people make the worst small talk ever? It's not enough that Picard has to deal with these people at all, now he also has to suffer through crap small talk as well.

Upstairs, Riker reports to Quinn's quarters and asks if he's ready for his tour. Then he asks what Quinn has in his Trapper-Keeper.
"It's this cool thing," says Quinn. "I brought it for Dr Crusher to check out. Maybe you want to see it, too. It's this life-form we came across while checking out planets in uncharted territory. It's a superior form of life."
Wait, how do you know? Did this life-form tell a human that it was a superior form of life? Did a Vulcan agree with it, even if no Vulcan was around a moment earlier? Those are really the two things one needs on this show to confirm a superior life-form, Quinn.
Suspicious, Riker says that maybe the science officer would want to take a look at it instead.
Quinn gets aggressive and grabs Riker by the wrist. "It won't like your science officer! It will like you!"
Wow, look who's declared himself the eHarmony of aliens. The science officer does not Match, Riker. Only you and Crusher.
Quinn then proceeds to beat the ever-loving shit out of Riker.

Riker manages to comm for security, but he's knocked out and crushes a glass table before anyone arrives.

Downstairs, Picard and the admirals come upon a little table set with glasses and Andorian tea. Remmick excuses himself and disappears into another room. Aaron and Savar toast to Keel's destroyed ship. Picard doesn't so much drink the tea as regard the glass suspiciously. Probably smart - it could contain iocane.

"Oh, um. I wanted to talk about that ship," says Picard. "Do we know what caused it be destroyed?"

"Yeah," replies Savar. "Implosion. Extreme negligence of the captain."

Picard knows that that's crap.

Aaron talks about the tea, because again, terrible small talk.

Upstairs, Worf races through the corridors, going to the call that Riker made for security. Geordi is hot on his heels because, I dunno, in addition to being the ship's pilot and also frequently the chief engineer, he's also security?
When they make it to Quinn's quarters, he lies and tells them that Riker slipped and hit his head. They call Crusher. Quinn tries to excuse himself, and when Geordi asks if he shouldn't stick around for the doctor to show up, Quinn just fucking throws him through the doors.
I mean they weren't open. Geordi's body flew through the air and knocked them over like cardboard. (Okay, technically they were, but still.)

"WTF?" asks the look on Worf's face.
"Let's go, bro," Quinn says to him.
Dramatic music! Commercial break!

Worf fights valiantly, even actually using that two-handed punch that Kirk liked so much. Nope. Quinn has apparently been taking Geezer-Fu classes at Starfleet's Rec Center, and he beats the snot out of Worf as well.
So who takes his ass down? Beverly fucking Crusher, that's who. She shoots him with her phaser set for some kind of heavy stun - a bunch of times - and he crumples on the carpet.

Our boys get up and Crusher scans Riker to make sure he's okay. Then they haul Quinn's Chuck Norris-channeling carcass back to sick bay.

Crusher runs some tests and confirms that it's actually Quinn, but Geordi points out before he leaves that Quinn just beat the shit out of the three of them.

She's administering some kind of hypospray on the unconscious Quinn when she finds something squirmy sticking out of his neck.

Gross.

Downstairs, the admirals start talking to Picard about conspiracies in general.
Aaron says something pretty interesting: "When a machination is real, no one knows about it. And when it's suspected, it's almost never real."
That's true, Admiral Creeper. What about it?
"Except of course in paranoid delusions, for those who believe," adds Savar.
Ohh, I see. You guys plan to gaslight Picard.
Remmick comes out into the corridor to let them know that dinner is served.
While the others go in, Picard stays in the corridor to call Riker and let him know that he should beam down.
But instead of Riker, Crusher picks up, asking first if she can speak freely - smart! Then she gives him a quick run-down: Riker was attacked by Quinn, who is currently being piloted by some weird bug-thing that's wrapped around his nervous system. The bug-thing breathes through that tail that hangs out of a hole in the back of the human host's neck.
"Look for that," she says. "Should be visible on anybody with a bug. It messes with the adrenal gland, which makes that person extra-strong. But so far, I don't think I can remove it without killing Quinn. You're gonna have to set your phaser on kill. Sorry."
"Not as sorry as me," replies Picard. "You don't beam down to Starfleet Headquarters armed."
*cough,cough* warned by Riker *cough, cough*

I'm pretty sure this animation is part of the remastering. Looks a bit too snazzy for mid-80's.

Picard gets called into dinner. He loudly tells Crusher to tell Riker to join them downstairs when he's ready. Then he goes in to dinner.
From the look of the cool little pot in front of Picard, they're having pho - yum!
But no. The lid comes off, and -

Mmmmmm, mealworms!

The admirals pop open their own bowls, and start eating handfuls of worms. (For the squeamish in the audience, you can tell they're actually eating sauteed onions.) The random security Gold in the corner takes an empty seat, and they gorge themselves like zombies on brains.

Picard pushes the bowl away in disgust, and tries to leave, but Riker comes up behind him.

"You're not going anywhere," says Riker, pushing Picard forcefully back in the room.

Aaron is pissed off. "You were meant for the doctor!"

He checks the back of Riker's neck, and finds that tail thing.

"Nothing to be done," replies the first officer. "Riker walked in on us."

"Whatever," shrugs Savar. "The doctor will be here soon, anyway."

Wait, how? Quinn only took one upstairs with him. They'll have to get another and sneak it back up on the E.

The door opens again.

Aww, man. Not her.

They all sit down to dinner again, and the admirals tell Picard that they were aware that he knew something was going on.

Savar also says that they let him come to them, rather than go after him.

Scott then says that their two species both appreciate theater, and that Picard put on a good show.

"What species are you?" asks Picard.

She deflects. It doesn't matter, apparently.

Savar starts talking about how they've been going slowly for a while now, and then they strike when it's too late.

So they're like... monologuing, but it's being done by several of them at the same time... dialoguing? I dunno. Anyway.

Riker chimes in every now and again, with a "yeah, that's right" or "you'll soon find out."

Savar encourages Riker to eat, and Riker takes a whopping handful of mealworks. He's just about to dump it down his gullet, Picard cringing, when Riker uses the action to cover up the fact that he's reaching for his phaser.

Riker takes down the security Gold before anyone can react. A fight breaks out, and he manages to nail Scott right in the chest.

Maaaan, I really liked her, too.

Then, because this shit wasn't fucked up enough already, Scott's mouth opens and the bug crawls out. The bug animation is very Ray Harryhausen, making it all the creepier.

Savar attempts to pinch Riker all Vulcan-style, but Picard grabs the fallen Gold's phaser, and tags Savar in the chest. In the meantime, Aaron has taken off down the corridor. 

Interesting. The superior life form with the strength of ten men is now fleeing the scene. Did the bugs have a staff meeting before their invasion?

"Don't piss this species off. They used to be really brutal to one another a long time ago, and they could revert back if you make them angry."

Every now and again, it totally works in humanity's favor that we can be complete dicks to each other.

So the next part makes me think that these bugs are totally not superior: Aaron is running down the corridor, and he actually has a phaser. Picard and Riker are on his heels, and Picard yells out, "Aaron!"

That dipshit stops and actually turns to look back at them.

Then he fires at them, but hits a painting on the wall behind Riker.

And you can guess what happens now - they both fire at him, killing him instantly.

Dumbass.

They run up to Aaron's body, and the bug crawls out of his mouth, but this time, they watch where it goes.

It crawls under a nearby door. (Pretty convenient that all of the doors in this show go all the way to the floor, but this one has a gap sufficient enough to fit a bug under it.)

Let's see what's behind Door Number One!

Aw, shit. It's the booby prize.

I would have been happier with a lifetime supply of Rice-A-Roni. (The Starfleet Headquarters Treat - ding, ding!)

Remmick is all Happy Helper Cog and good customer service toward the upper officers.

Picard spots the bug crawling across the floor, and he tries to warn Remmick, but then that motherfucker swallows the bug WHOLE. Like, he lets it crawl in his mouth.

WTF? Is this Intergalactic Fear Factor?

Then his neck starts doing this bulgy shit.

He starts monologuing about not meaning them any harm, and then he yells, "WE SEEK PEACEFUL CO-EXISTENCE!"

The hell you do.

So Riker and Picard do they only thing they can do: they tag-team him with phasers.

The death of Remmick is not only satisfying, but special-effects-wise, it's actually pretty fantastic.

First, we get some Indiana Jones face-melting action:

Then the head completely explodes.

And somehow, he hasn't disintegrated like other people hit by phasers set on stun. Instead, he starts burning from the inside out.

Annnndddd, cue the monster popping out of the chest!

"Oh, fuck THIS shit," says Picard.

He and Riker fire on the Mecha-bug.

Mecha-bug disintegrates, and it seems that Remmick was filled with the little bugs, like Oogie Boogie. Gross.

Also, I think his wrist might be broken. It lost like Harry Potter's arm when all of his arm bones disappeared.

Picard's Log 41780.2: "So that sucked. We had to kill those people. But here's the good part: when that Mecha-bug died, all of the little ones did too, so Quinn is fine again."

It's real crappy that they didn't discover that before they shot Scott. Remmick, though... he was a real douche bag, so who gives a shit about him?

Up on the bridge, Riker tells Picard that Crusher was the one who suggested the fake bug tail in his neck to fool the others. Picard says it was effective.

Data approaches The Chair.

"So, um, I took a look at the message that Remmick was sending when you interrupted him. I think it was a beacon."

"A beacon?"

"Yeahhhh... a homing beacon, sent from Earth..."

And instead of going straight into the ending credits music, we see the Enterprise slowly fly by, then the camera pushes just as slowly into the stars, with a background noise that sounds tinkly, mechanical, and like some kind of code. It's creepy. And highly effective. Good ending.

So every time I watch this episode, my reaction is the same: why is this a one-off? Why is this not an arc or a cliffhanger season finale? It bothered me so much that, instead of just complaining about it in my review, I went looking for the answer in Memory Alpha. It gives a decent explanation, but the overall feeling remains - this really needed to be a longer story.
Okay, here's the deal. Writer Tracy Torme originally wanted to do an episode that was commentary on the Iran/Contra Affair that involved treason within the Federation and higher-ups violating the Prime Directive. Both ideas were nixed. The Iran/Contra comparison was thought to be too controversial, and Gene was really, really opposed to the idea that the Federation was less than perfect. I have problems with both of this dissensions. Firstly, it's Star Trek. Star Trek is famous for getting away with commentary on current events and controversies. Why the hell stop now? Secondly, no governing body is perfect. They all fuck up sometimes. Except maybe Canada. But the idea of the Federation as untouchable is not only unrealistic, it closes the door on what could be some really killer episodes. (Not to worry, friends: DS9 gives the finger to this idea, and does a two-parter that covers it.)
Torme starts looking around, because he's got some story, but no substance. Gene adds in the alien bit. Now we have the outline of the problems-within-Starfleet story, but instead of the issue being corrupt Starfleet officers, it's that those officers are playing host to some kind of invading alien race. It was followed by idea of "Eh, let's tie it back to what Quinn said to Picard in "Coming of Age." He said he was worried about issues within the organization, so let's make it this alien thing that he was referring to."
But then they left it unresolved. No mention of the actual alien race - that question was deflected by Infected Scott. And the ending was fabulous, but there was never any follow-up. No invasion came about. It's never mentioned again, save to name the admiral who discovered the parasites. This open-endedness actually drove enough people nuts that several forms of Star Trek fiction have been written about it, either ending the story arc, or suggesting where the bugs came from and what purpose they served.
The whole thing feels a bit... sloppy. Tying it back to "Coming of Age" was pretty smart, because that establishes a continuity that we haven't seen much of yet. But it never goes anywhere. They figure out why certain people in Starfleet are acting weird, but beyond the initial bugs, there isn't any real threat. No bugs ever show up at Earth for the take-over, and presumably, no more Mecha-bugs implant in Starfleet officers for another attempt to take over. What a waste of a possible story arc. Nobody stepped forward with that idea? That's really annoying. I detest wasted potential.

Red deaths: 5

Gold deaths: 1

Blue deaths: 0

Obnoxious Wes moments: 0

Legitimate Wes moments when he should have told someone to go fuck themselves: 0

Sassy Geordi moments: 0

Sassy Wes Moments: 0

Sassy Worf Moment: 0

Sassy Riker Moments: 0

Sassy Yar Moments: 0

Sassy Picard Moments: 0

Sassy NPC Moments: 0
Sassy Data Moments: 0
Sassy Crusher Moments: 0

Number of times that it is mentioned that Data is an android: 0

Number of times that Troi reacts to someone else's feelings: 0

Number of times that Geordi "looks at something" with his VISOR: 0
Number of times when Data gives too much info and has to be told to shut up: 2 - once by the computer!
I think this might be the most TNG deaths we've have so far.


Fun Facts:
- Rixx marks the first appearance of a Bolian on TNG, though the race won't be given a name until a later episode. The name Bolian comes from Cliff Bole, who directed this episode.
- That awesome matte painting of Starfleet Headquarters was a re-use from The One With the Whales.
- Remmick's chair is a redress of that hella-expensive wheelchair they made for the Mark Jameson character in "Too Short a Season."
- This episode marks the only time the computer speaks in the first person. (She seems annoyed with Data's meandering explanation of "talking to oneself" and replies "Thank you, sir. I understand.")
- This is the last episode with this particular admiral's uniform, with the triangular pips. We'll get a different one in season two, then the ones worn in season three will become the permanent uniform.
- The star chart behind Remmick's chair shows several star systems mentioned in TOS and TAS. This is the first time it appears in TNG, and it will later be used in the pilot episode of Doctor Who's spin-off series, The Sarah Jane Chronicles.

- This episode won an Emmy for make-up. No surprises there.
- The first time this episode aired in the UK, several minutes were cut, most notably Remmick's death. Don't know how they might have resolved the episode without it, though.
- This is the only episode of TNG that Canadian sci-fi channel Space precedes with a viewer discretion warning.

Sleepy stripe-amese Caymin

ST:TNG Season One, Episode Nineteen "Coming of Age"

ST:TNG Season One, Episode Nineteen "Coming of Age"
Production Order: 19
Air Order: 19
Stardate: 41461.2
Original Air Date: March 14, 1988

They gave Wes a new haircut. It... does not suit him.

Wes runs down the corridors of the E, and finally catches up with his friend Jake Kurland, who we have never met before. He tries to make awkward small talk, but they finally get around to the crux of the conversation: they both took the pre-test to take the real test to get into Starfleet Academy, but Jake missed it by 32 points, and now Wes is leaving to go take that real test, and they both feel kind of crummy about it. But Jake shakes his hand and genuinely wishes Wes good luck before they part.

Picard's Log 41416.2: "Orbiting Relva VII. Wes Crusher is gonna take the entrance exams to Starfleet Academy, and my buddy Admiral Quinn is there. He's asked to come aboard."

So Wes transports out, and Quinn beams in with this other dude, Lt Cmdr Remmick, the walking, human equivalent of the phrase Stick Up Your Ass.
Picard introduces his staff present, and Quinn stiffly says he wants to talk to Picard. But when Picard attempts to invite Riker also, Quinn barks that Riker cannot come along. Picard is weirded out - I guess it's typical to have the first officer present at "official business" meetings like that? Especially when it's clear that Remmick will be going?
Lightly suspicious music... Opening credits break!

When they get to the ready room, Quinn comes right out with it: Remmick is with the Inspector General's Office. Picard lets out an uncomfortable "ohhh..." because let's face it, you don't really need to know what the Inspector General's Office does. You just know that every other department housed in that office building refers to them as "Dicks R Us." If Umbridge joined Starfleet, she'd be with the Inspector General's Office, right the fuck at the top, bustling everywhere with a clipboard in a uniform that was oddly pinkish instead of dark red.

Then Quinn drops a Vague Bomb: Remmick is here to inspect the Enterprise and her crew because Starfleet suspects that there is something "wrong" on the ship.

Picard is understandably baffled. "Um, what's wrong with the ship? Can I help you find something, or...?"

"No, I can't tell you that," barks Quinn. "But you have to cooperate completely."

He tells Remmick to get on with it, and Remmick is wearing his attitude like it's woven into his uniform: he's got a bit of power here, but he's acting like it's quite a bit more than it actually is. It's the sort of attitude where you hope someone will knock him down a peg or two by the end of the episode.

In the meantime, Picard tries to appeal to his friend by asking what this might be about, but Quinn is all business, and Picard is forced to refer to him as "sir." It's always uncomfortable when Picard calls someone "sir."

Wes is first in the testing room, and of course he's messing with some do-dad. I kind of like that. It speaks to his character. If he were simply the first one in the testing room, it might make him a suck-up, but instead he's playing with something he possibly shouldn't be playing with. Wes likes gadgets, he likes knowing how shit works. Then he gets caught. Another candidate walks in and playfully calls him out for messing with equipment. She's Oliana Mirren, and it seems she's heard of him before. She says he's described as "very smart and very young."

They're soon joined by the other candidates, T'Shanik and a Benzite named Mordock. T'Shanik tells Wes that he looks too young to be joining Starfleet and Wes replies that his sixteenth birthday is the following month, so now we know what the age minimum is for the 24 century. (That doesn't explain how the hell Tina Lawton ended up finishing the Academy's four-year course and landing a spot on the flagship of Starfleet at age 17, but TOS was all over the place, so if they wanted a teenage girl on the Enterprise, they just put her there.)

Wes briefly fangirls over Mordock, who is the creator of the Mordock Strategy, a chess move. Then the instructor, Tac Officer Chang, enters and the testing begins.

You know what I noticed? Clever wardrobe people very subtly gave each of the candidates outfits that included Ops gold, command red, and science blue.

Check out Mordock, yo. He's pretty awesome. That little light-up do-hickey in front of his face occasionally lets out this puff of something, so I'm guessing that the Benzite atmosphere is different enough to warrant wearing one of those. He's just a really cool alien. The make-up team was nominated for an Emmy for this episode, so I gotta guess it was for Mordock.

Upstairs, Remmick is pretty much standing over everyone, tapping out notes on a tiny PADD. It's unnerving, to the point where people keep asking him if he needs their help with anything. Geordi looks like he'd like to get sassy with with Remmick, but he knows better, so his tone is almost apologetic when he says that they're just in standard orbit, and the conn positions need to be manned as a matter of routine. Remmick tells Riker that he'll want to speak to him alone later, and Riker decides to ask Picard about this crap. He heads into the ready room.
"Am I being investigated?" he asks point-blank.
"Dunno," admits Picard. "Can't tell you even if I knew."
"This sucks."
"I agree."
But they're both frustrated, and it ends with raised voices. Riker stomps out of the ready room and onto the bridge.
"Let's have that chat," says Remmick.
"Fuck off," replies Riker.
Remmick tries to get all high and mighty about how everyone has to cooperate with him.
"I SAID FUCK OFF, I HAVE SHIT TO DO!" yells Riker, getting in the lift. It closes satisfyingly in Remmick's face.
Dramatic music! Commercial break!

We see the last question on the written exam about intermix ratios, which Wes gets instantly because it's a trick question. (The intermix ratio for matter-antimatter is 1:1, which you can now use at trivia nights, or when taking your own entrance exam at the Academy. 

Hey, man. Don't knock it. All those nerds who grew up watching this show are now scientists hell-bent on making this shit a reality. We already have early-stage replicators and transporters, so we may not be that far off. So when your grandchild is struggling over intermix ratio questions on AP Science homework, you can confidently tell them that it's 1:1, because you read it on some dumb blog...which I will probably still be writing, because reboots.)

Mordock and Wes talk about how there could only have been one answer, and Oliana feels bad, because she didn't get the answer in time. She says it must be nice to be them, having the answers come so easily. Wes backs up and apologetically tells her that he has to study all the time.

"It's a good thing you're cute, or you could really be obnoxious," she laughs, just before leaving.

I am... not touching that with a ten-foot pole.

Wes is kind of charmed. "Mordock, she said I'm cute!" he beams.

"Is that good?" asks Mordock, reminding us that not every species procreates the same.

"Yes! I think?"

Riker enters the bridge and tries to apologize for yelling at Picard earlier.
"No need," answers Picard. "Remmick is a total twat-waffle, and he has everybody on edge."
Remmick then enters from the other lift and asks if Riker is now ready for their "chat." He uses a Sassy Moment voice, but again, that dude is a twat-waffle, so I'm not awarding him a Sassy Moment. Suck it, Remmick.
Riker agrees and they go into the ready room. Remmick says that there are "discrepancies" in the captain's log.
"Have you asked him about those?" asks Riker.
"No! I'm asking you, and we're gonna go over them with a fine-tooth comb!"
There's a tense pause, then -
"Fine. Let's do this, motherfucker," Riker replies.

Next we go to Engineering, where Remmick is hassling Geordi, following him around while he does shit at various stations by the warp engines. They're talking about the incident with Kosinski and The Traveler, where the E ended up at the edge of the universe and beyond. Remmick is accusing Picard of losing control of the ship.
Geordi has no patience for this shit. "Bitch, what did I just say? Starfleet sent us Kosinski, with the direct orders for us to let him "improve" the engines."
"But the bridge crew objected to him," Remmick presses. He just "decides" that Picard lost control of the ship.
Geordi lets out this short sigh that says, "OMG, fuck you sideways with a katana."

Next up: Troi.
Remmick demands to know if Picard has ever had a mental lapse that would mean he was not fit to run the ship.
"Never," she replies.
"What about the thing with the Ferengi and the Stargazer?"
"Hello? He was being controlled by a mind-altering machine," she answers.
"Hello? That counts as mental lapse." He types "yes" in on his PADD.
Troi considers getting Geordi that katana that he said he wanted.

Wes is chilling on an unused holodeck when Worf enters. He's about to turn it on when he notices Wes just leaning against the wall. The acting ensign tells the Klingon that he's finished with today's tests, but is worried about the psychological portion, which will be based on his deepest fears. He wants to program some fears into the holodeck to practice facing them, but isn't certain what he's most afraid of.
"Thinking about something which you can't control wastes energy and creates its own enemy," Worf says wisely.
Wes is annoyed. "I don't know what my biggest fear is - how do they know?"
"They check out your psych profile," Worf answers. "They were right on the gold-pressed latinum for me and everyone I tested with."
"I thought Klingon warriors weren't afraid of anything?"

Wes feels like he may have overstepped his boundaries by asking too many personal questions, but Worf sees that this kid could use a mentor, so he continues on. He tells Wes that he struggles to depend on others, especially with his life.

"But... you have depend on everyone on the Enterprise to do that everyday," reasons Wes. "How did you overcome your fear?"

"I haven't," he answers. 

Y'all... that was a great scene. They've been really stepping it up with Worf lately, not only giving him more screentime and better lines, but giving him more to work with overall. And I like the fact that we see Wes worrying about his future here. A lot is riding on whether or not he'll get in, and it's assumed that he will, but he doesn't know that yet. That they paired Worf and Wes together here makes it even better for both characters.

Now if we could only do the same for Tasha...

Riker and Picard are having a perfectly normal, stress-free convo on the bridge at one of the science stations, when an alarm goes off. It's the shuttle bay, and Yar reports that someone is taking a shuttle. She says it's Jake Kurland. We know him, the kid who didn't quite make the cut to take the Academy entrance exams.

The bridge crew hops into action, but Remmick hops into Asshole Mode.

"Isn't that area secure?" he asks in a snotty tone.

"Go fuck yourself," Riker replies.

Worf relays that Jake is using the emergency override to open the bay doors.

"Smart kid," remarks Geordi.

"Kid?!" says Remmick. He goes ignored.

Picard calmly calls the shuttle. He's being followed by Remmick.

A shaky-sounding Jake comes on the line, saying that he's flying someplace else to sign on with a freighter. He can't face his father after failing that test. Unfortunately, an alarm goes off in the shuttle. He's accidentally effed up the dilithium reaction.

He's lost power, and is less than two minutes from burning up in the atmosphere of Relva. The bridge crew discusses options. Too far away for a tractor beam, too far away for a transporter lock. Then fucking Remmick physically steps in front of Picard to yell in his face that he's "responsible for that boy!" right in the middle of a mother. Fucking. Crisis.

Picard is so done. "Move. Your skinny ass. Out. Of my way."

Sensing that he could very likely walk away with a broken nose, Remmick wisely steps back. Picard puts Jake on viewscreen. Jake is now panicking. Picard reassures him that they get him back safely, as Riker is quietly telling Picard that the shuttle needs 50 seconds for the core to cool off before it can start again.

Picard tells Jake to aim the shuttle at Relva, wait until it hits a certain speed, then pull up hard.

"I'm gonna crash!"

"You're going to be just fine."

But Jake does what he says and manages to come out in one piece. Everyone cheers, including Remmick.

"That was incredible!" he says. "How did he do it?"

"He built up enough speed to bounce off the atmosphere," smiles Geordi.

Jake is told to bring the shuttle back and report to Riker.

Remmick slips easily from "Hooray! You did it!" right back into Asshole Mode. "How did that kid get access to a shuttle?"

Riker puts the smack-down on Remmick by stating that Kurland is a "highly-qualified Academy candidate" with a lot of experience in multiple areas, including shuttlecraft.

"Did this training include discipline?" demands Remmick dickishly.

You know Riker is probably in charge of Kurland's training, just as he is in charge of Wes's training, and is not going to take that crap lying down. He looks like he's going to punch Remmick. But Picard stops Riker long enough to calmly explain to Remmick that everyone makes "rash choices" sometimes, and that when he gets back, Jake Kurland will get a refresher in discipline.

Sadly, no one punches Remmick.

Downstairs, Wes is walking through the Relva complex with Mordock when a huge gold shirt asks him where to drop off a package. He gives directions to a nearby office, but when the gold shirt passes, they knock shoulders. The gold shirt becomes enraged and blames the incident on Wes, who stammers an apology. Chang happens by and asks if there's a problem. The gold shirt pulls out some "do you know who I am?" bullshit. But then Wes switches tactics, and starts yelling back.

"You bumped into me! This was your fault! Do you want your ass kicked?"

The gold shirt smiles. "Naw, we're good, friend." And he walks away.

"WTF?" asks Mordock.

"When he gestured, I saw that his fingers were webbed," explains Wes. "He's a Zaldan. They think courtesy is phony, and it pisses them off. So I yelled at him instead."
Chang admits that it was an unannounced test to see how the candidates deal with certain situations.
Mordock muses that, not having heard of Zaldans before, he would not have passed that test.

Upstairs, Remmick has Data in the observation lounge, and inquires as to whether or not he has to tell the truth, being an android and all. Data answers in the affirmative. Remmick is being all weird and secretive, as though everyone thus far has been lying to him, and Data will give him all the information that everyone else has been hiding. He tells Data that there's something wrong with the logs and with Picard, and Data tells him that there is nothing wrong with either.

"That's not acceptable!" says Remmick.

Sassy Data Moment! "Acceptable or not, sir - it is the truth."

He swings the computer screen back at Remmick, and Brent Spiner gives him the smarmiest look he can pull out while still remaining in character. "Suck it, biiiiitch."

Next up is Worf. Remmick asks "how did this contaminant get aboard the ship?" (He's asking about the Naked Now illness.)
Remmick tries to make it Picard's fault, but Worf is stoically insistent that it was an accident.
"You don't like me very much, do you?" asks Remmick.
Dude: Sassy Worf Moment:

Cut to Remmick grilling Crusher, and guess what he asks her about?

That's right! Jack Crusher is dead! It's pretty much Picard's fault!

And while her words do not necessarily warrant a Sassy Moment, the fact that she laughs softly before answering, and especially her tone, definitely earn her a spot on the list:

YAAAASSSS!

Finally, Remmick grills Picard about saving Wes from the Edo, violating the Prime Directive. Picard admits to it freely, and reminds Remmick that he's interrogated all of his senior officers and found nothing. Remmick suggests that Picard is afraid of being found guilty of... something. Like, we have no idea what he's even after, and we're more than half-way through this episode.

"The only thing I'm guilty of is letting this drag out this long," Picard tells him, and walks away.

Dramatic music! Commercial break!

Picard goes to the quarters where Quinn is staying. "Cut the bullshit, Quinn. What do you want?"
"Remmick's report is almost ready. You can be here when he reports it back to me," Quinn replies.
"I don't know if I want to be your friend anymore," growls Picard.
"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. I had to do this, though."
He calls Remmick, who replies that he'll be right there. Remmick's voice has lost its pitbull quality and taken on a weasely-lackey tone. Ugh.

In the testing center, the candidates are taking this weird test when a cube made of dots rotates on their screens, while other dots fly at it. The candidates have to make the flying dots go to the cube so the whole thing turns green or something. I don't really know. It looks kind of futuristic, so they slapped some science-y jargon onto it, enough that the audience will shrug and go, "Okay, I'll buy it." It looks like a cabinet game from the 1980's, but all the candidates are struggling, so we're also supposed to buy that it's difficult. I have no idea what they're actually doing. "Inputting vector coordinates" or something.

Anyway, Mordock is losing faith, and Wes coaches him from his own station. Mordock completes the test just before Wes does, and the girls appear to finish as well before time is up.

Chang comes in, congratulates Mordock on getting the second-fastest time on that test ever, and Mordock complains that he only finished the test because Wes helped him.

"Yep," says Chang cheerfully, unconcerned. "You get an hour free time before the next test."

"The psych test?" asks Wes.

Chang frowns and acts all serious, correcting Wesley on the proper labeling of the "psychological evaluation" but then he smiles and ends with, "but "psych test" will do."

You know, I really like Chang. He reminds of Sulu, and it makes me wonder if this actor (Robert Ito) is a fan of Sulu, because he seems to be channeling our former helmsman. There's just enough seriousness that you know that he's a competent officer and the guy who's got your back in a pinch, but enough of a playful sense of humor exists that you'd probably like to get a drink with him after shift.

 

Meanwhile, Remmick reports in for his meeting with Quinn. Picard is there, staring out the window.

"Um, so... I did what you asked," says Remmick. "I tried to find something wrong, and I talked to all of the crew members and went through the logs, but I couldn't find anything. Like, the bridge crew is... familiar, but it's because they treat each other like family and stuff."

Quinn dismisses him. When he starts to leave, Remmick turns and addresses Picard.

"I'm done with the Inspector General's Office in six months," he says. "Then I want to come work for you here."

Picard gives him this look like, "That's a terrible jo- oh, you were serious."

Remmick shrinks a little. Quinn's look also says, "That was awful timing."

The lieutenant-commander leaves.

Then Quinn drops another Vague Bomb: Starfleet didn't send them to investigate something being wrong on the E. Quinn is doing this all on his own. And he didn't want there to be something wrong on the E, because that would mean that there's probably something wrong with Picard, and he wants to trust Picard, blah, blah, blah, run-on sentences and crap that's supposed to be tension-building, but which is actually irritating filler, and we finally get to the very vague crux: there's some kind of threat to the Federation, and he doesn't know if it's from the inside or the outside, but he wants to promote Picard to admiral and put him in charge of the Academy. Also, surprise: there was never actually anything wrong with the E, he needed to make sure that Picard was on the up-and-up.

"Sorry, didn't catch that. Perhaps if you were more vague?"

Picard decides to think about it, and give the admiral his decision later.

Downstairs, Mordock comes out of his psych test shaking, and he tells Wes that he will be fine. Wes is shown into a tiny empty room with one chair. He announces his presence, and when no one answers, he thinks maybe they forgot about his test. He then tries to talk himself into remaining calm.
There's a loud thud outside, which he quietly investigates. More explosions, and he's now out the door, looking for the source. He locates it down the hall, in the environmental lab.
An open door reveals an on-going accident scene. Wes yells for help, just as the trapped workers do as well.

One dude, who's kept his wits about him, yells to Wes that there's going to be another explosion, and the room will automatically seal itself off before that to contain the damage. They have thirty seconds before that happens, but he can't go anywhere, as his legs are crushed under some fallen pipes. There's another guy at the back of the lab who looks like he's about to lose his mind. He seems to be moving alright, but he keeps hugging a pipe connected to the wall and yelling, "We're all gonna die!"
"Help me!" Wes yells to him, trying to dig out the guy with the crushed legs.
But guy #2 just shakes his head and yells again that they're all gonna die.
Wes frees guy #1 and begins the first aid drag, pulling the dude out by his under arms. He keeps yelling encouragement to guy #2, who still has his arms firmly wrapped around that pipe.
Guy #2 insists that he can't move.
"I can't carry you both!" Wes calls back to him.
He drags guy #1 out into the corridor just in time, yelling "I'm sorry!" to guy #2. The doors snap shut.

Chang steps up to Wes, and Wes, seeing him, starts yelling frantically about an accident in the environmental lab.
But then Crushed Legs Guy gets up and shakes Wes' hand, thanking him before walking away. The doors to the enviro lab open, and Panicky "We're All Gonna Die!" Guy walks out, giving Wes a quick nod before leaving casually down the hall.
"So yeah, that was your psych test," says Chang, confirming what is clearly dawning on Wes' face.
And Wes finally walks himself through what turns out to have been his biggest fear: Jack Crusher was killed when Picard had to make a choice that ultimately lead to the death of his best friend. Wes was afraid that when the time came, he would not be able to make a choice like that. And while it didn't quite occur here in the same way - the panicky guy was a stranger rather than a close friend - he was forced to make a life or death choice, and he did so.
For once, I do not have to use the horse photo when talking about Jack Crusher's death, because for once, it's used correctly. We've seen it utilized to define relationships and needlessly tug at heart-strings, but we've never quite gotten around to talking about the fact that it would have not only affected Wes, but actually formed the person he would become. And that it would form the basis of his biggest fear, and inform on the career path he wished to take.

Chang tells him that he did well, even though there was no right or wrong answer.

But let's face it - the psych test is only 50% for the benefit of Starfleet. That other half is for the person applying. While the results could be helpful to Wes in gaining entrance to the Academy, it's really more helpful for him to know that he was able to stare down this previously unknown fear, and make the decision he wasn't certain he could make.

Upstairs, Picard is staring out the ready room window. There's a cool shot of Riker entering from the door, and we see him reflected in the glass.
Riker tells Picard that Remmick has left, and Picard reveals that Remmick found nothing, and that Quinn was impressed by the crew. Picard tells Riker that Quinn was watching him, and has offered him a promotion, to be commandant of Starfleet Academy.
Riker is genuinely pleased for his captain, saying that this promotion sounds like a great job, and won't it be awesome to mold some new minds for Starfleet...?
But he recognizes that Picard is on the fence, and needs to do some more thinking before making his choice.

Downstairs, Chang laments that they can only choose one candidate to enter the Academy, and hopes that the others will test again, because he thinks they're all awesome. Then he announces that Mordock scored a tiny bit higher than Wes, and that he will be the first Benzite in Starfleet.

Mordock protests, because Wes helped him. Chang says that all things were taken into account, and Mordock still would have scored a little bit better, even if Wes had not lost a few seconds time in helping him. Chang leaves, followed shortly by T'Shanik, who must be pretty pissed off that she lost. Oliana shakes Mordock's hand, then playfully tells Wes that he should be looking out for her next year, before she also exits.

Picard is making his way down the corridor in his dress skant when he and Jake Kurland do the Awkward Dance.  They go around one another, and Jake seems grateful that Picard has opted to ignore him, but then cringes when he is called back. He stammers apologies for damaging the shuttle, explanations of how he is now going to fix the shuttle as part of Riker's "discipline training" and thanks for saving his life. Picard reminds him that running away is not the answer, and that it's his job to ensure that everyone on the E remains safe.

I guess he's doing the mentor tour, because Picard finds Wes in the observation lounge.

"How come you're not in dress uniform for the admiral's farewell dinner?" he asks.

"Seemed inappropriate," admits Wes. "I... uh, I didn't get it. I failed you and the E."

"No, that's dumb," says Picard. "You did your best, and you'll do better when you re-test next year. You're only competing against yourself, and you shouldn't be taking me or anyone else into account when you do the test."

"Look," he says, "I'm gonna tell you something that I've never told anyone else... Wesley Albus Severus Crusher, you were named for two guys from another fandom who were heroes but also really kind of fucked up, and it's okay if you get sorted into Slytherfleet."

Naw, just screwing with you.

He admits that he also failed the test the first time.

Wes is baffled, and Picard says that he did not fail the second time, implying that Wes will not, either.

And they go to the admiral's dinner, so that Picard can "disappoint an old friend."

We skip the dinner, but go straight to Picard saying goodbye to Quinn. Quinn wishes that Picard had taken the commandant position, but smiles and shrugs, saying that he's been playing politics for so long that he now sees conspiracies everywhere. He gets on the pad and beams away.

Picard returns to the bridge and gives Wes the destination. He makes a note to Wes about "continuing with our mission," and they warp away.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.
No, okay. That's not true. We got two Wes-based episodes back-to-back here, and neither one was the best or worst.
But we did get one pretty good episode that played up to Wil Wheaton's strengths, and one that did not. In "When the Bough Breaks," he's asked to play the part of Wes-as-revolutionary, which doesn't really ever pan out. He likes the Aldeans and never gets around to giving them the verbal smack-down that they so sorely needed. They give that bit to Picard, which waters down Wes' part considerably. But in "Coming of Age," Wil is asked to portray an uncertain Wes, possibly on the brink of starting his adult career, and it works because Wil, at the same age as Wes, may have been grappling with the same issues. It reads better. What's more, they build his character up by not only playing him against Worf, but by factoring in his past and what has made him the person that he is at this moment in time. All of these things work well for the character of Wes, and make it that much easier for Wil to slip into the role.
The other thing I like about this episode is that it allows us to see a bit of Starfleet "behind the curtain." We know these people aren't just wandering around in space alone, we know they're connected to a larger organization, but that organization is pretty nebulous. There's a hierarchy, yes, and sometimes we see others in it, but there isn't a lot of talk about how things run. In this particular episode, we see how two different parts operate: how one gets into the organization to begin with, and how things run once one is further along on the pecking order.
We see other candidates, people vying to get into Starfleet, and the exams they must pass in order to proceed to training. The written stuff is expected, but the psych test not as much (unless you factor in for the Kobayashi Maru, which cadets get stuck with at the Academy). Again, the psych test is as helpful for the Academy hopeful as it is for Starfleet, and I find myself wondering what everyone else's psych tests were like.
It's also hinted at that Wes' ability to cheerlead his teammates is appreciated by Chang and others doing the testing, something he would have picked up working on the E.
I do like the fact that he didn't get in, though. It has several advantages: one, this way we get to see more of his character before they ship him off to San Francisco; two, we get to hear from two very different characters (Worf and Picard) how their exams went, which means a bit of character development on their part; and three, we get to see how Wes deals with failure. We know how he reacts when he's correct but treated as an underling (either frustrated or douchey, for some reason), but knowing how someone reacts to failure is just as good for character-building (and sometimes better) than seeing them succeed.
The addition of Jake Kurland is interesting. We start out knowing that he hasn't passed the initial step to getting into Starfleet, and we see Wes feel bad for him while being elated that he himself made it. That's a tricky situation to be in, and one that Wes handled nicely. His friend does not feel slighted. For Jake, this probably feels like the end of the world, which is why he made the rash decision to run away and join a freighter. We don't really know anything about signing up for freighter duty, but we can guess that it takes more physical skills than mental skills, and that working on a freighter is something that people in the 24th century do not aspire to. Is there anything wrong with that? Probably not, but it sounds like the sort of thing that others react to with a sad, "I wanted better for him." Here's the funny thing about Jake that marks a difference between TOS and TNG: on the original series, Jake would have died. Think about it: any time TOS introduces a character who has a backstory and obvious friends on the ship, it is only to tug at heartstrings more when that character dies needlessly later in the episode. By TOS rules, Jake should have been red-shirted. But TNG plays by different rules, and characters who are introduced and given backgrounds and relationships are allowed to merely fade into non-existence. They may return later for recurring roles, but most likely they simply served their purpose of furthering the story, and will never be seen again.

Seeing the bureaucratic side of Starfleet was also interesting, if a bit vague, (That seems to be the thee for this episode.) Quinn appears with Remmick, and Picard, though non-plussed, doesn't question it when Quinn orders him to cooperate. It seems as though he never asked for any confirmation that Starfleet wanted the E checked out... he just takes his friend's word for it. The crew goes along (again, no one questions it), and they cooperate, but make it quite clear that they'd rather be disemboweling Remmick with the aforementioned katana. Then, when Quinn finally tells Picard that he thinks there's trouble afoot, we get some X-Files conspiracy theory shit, and Quinn admits that the politics he has to play every day probably contributes to his seeing this stuff that may or may not exist. It really just plays into the Star Trek mantra of "Don't ever get promoted above captain. It'll make you into a fancy asshole."

Bottom line: this episode was pretty good. Not the best, not the worst. But fairly good for a Wes story.

Red deaths: 0

Gold deaths: 0

Blue deaths: 0

Obnoxious Wes moments: 0

Legitimate Wes moments when he should have told someone to go fuck themselves: 0

Sassy Geordi moments: 0

Sassy Wes Moments: 0

Sassy Worf Moment: 1

Sassy Riker Moments: 0

Sassy Yar Moments: 0

Sassy Picard Moments: 0

Sassy NPC Moments: 0
Sassy Data Moments: 1
Sassy Crusher Moments: 1

Number of times that it is mentioned that Data is an android: 1

Number of times that Troi reacts to someone else's feelings: 0

Number of times that Geordi "looks at something" with his VISOR: 0

Fun Facts:

- There's actually an action figure of Mordock, as well as a trading card.

- John Putch, the guy who played Mordock, was actually asked back to play Mordon, another Benzite in a later episode. ("A Matter of Honor") This made him the first person to play two different characters on TNG of the same species. He was all flattered to be specifically asked to play Mordon, but later realized that it was because they'd built the Mordock head to fit his own head, and another actor would not gave fit into it correctly.

- The matte painting for Relva was originally used in three episodes of 1979's "Buck Rogers in the Twenty-Fifth Century." It was painted by Dan Curry of the Star Trek special effects team, and altered ever-so-slightly for inclusion in this episode. It still hangs in Curry's home.

- This was the first episode where Maurice Hurley was showrunner. He paid for a trip to Tahiti for Gene Rod and Majel Barrett, with the understanding that he would run the show while Gene was gone. When they returned, Gene gave the writing staff over to Maurice rather than picking up where he left off.
- A scene of Wes' sixteenth birthday was filmed but then cut. It supposedly included a humorous conversation between Worf and Data, where they discuss birthdays.
- We have to assume that Remmick talked to Yar, because the episode states that he spoke with all of the senior officers, but her interview is not shown.
-This episode features the first appearance of the shuttlecraft model on TNG.

"I am helping, yes?"