ST:TNG Season Four, Episode Eleven "Data's Day"

ST:TNG Season Four, Episode Eleven "Data's Day"
Production Order: 11
Air Order: 11
Stardate: 44390.1
Original Air Date: January 7, 1991

Data's Log 44390.1: "Here's an epistolary entry that gives exposition. Basically, I'm writing a letter to Bruce Maddox at the Daystrom Institute because he needs info on my programming, and he wants to know how I deal with friendship. So this episode will be about me, told by me, to Maddox."

Data, you are a much nicer person than I am. I realize that you have questions about your own origins and are eager to learn more about yourself through Starfleet Cybernetics, but holy shit, guy. Bruce Maddox tried to declare you property of Starfleet in order to take you apart, like some kind of AI Green River Killer. If someone tried to do that to me, I'd tell them to get fucked, not help them with their research. (Though I can't deny that Data giving Maddox information means greater odds that Maddox will not try to disassemble him again - and could be a move of self-preservation - it doesn't mean that Maddox is not a huge asshole.)

Riker enters the bridge to relieve Data, and they talk about Data being "father of the bride."

Did... did I miss something? Did they bring back Lal?

Data exposition: "Friendships are tough. Emotions are tough. So I switched up my programming to try to predict how humans will act."

Sounds like some hijinks will ensue when the program predicts one thing and the humans do another.

He leaves the bridge.

We meet Keiko, the woman who will marry Chief O'Brien, and I'm pretty excited about this because I like both Keiko and O'Brien, and this means we'll get to see more of them going forward. Interesting that they pushed the story forward like that for the sake of one episode, though.

"We need a wedding for Data to be a part of. Who should get married? Should we do like Balance of Terror and make up two characters who will get married, or should we marry off a minor character?"
"How about O'Brien? We never see that guy, so we can make major life changes to his character, and no one will complain."
"Okay, cool. And because this is Star Trek, we should make her POC to remind the audience that in the future, humans are not assholes who object to interracial marriages. Also, let's make her a badass."
"Okay, I'm down. Data can play the role of Father of the Bride."

Keiko tells Data that she wants to cancel the wedding. She feels like she should be happy, but instead she's pretty sure she's Atlas.
"Would canceling make you happy?" he asks.
She thinks, then affirms it would. "Since you guys are good friends and you introduced us, would you tell Miles?"
Keiko, breaking up via Android is cowardly.
But Data doesn't know that, so he agrees to do it.

Slightly dramatic music!

Data goes to Ten Forward, where the wedding is being set up.
Data voice-over: "Chief O'Brien says he just wants to make Keiko happy, so by default logic, this will make him happy as well."

Sometimes I want to hug Data and say "d'awwww" at his naivete. Data, you poor clueless bb.

He walks up to O'Brien and Geordi and announces that Keiko has made a decision "designed to increase her happiness."
"She's canceled the wedding."
"WTF?" yells O'Brien. He storms out.
Sassy Geordi Moment: "Maybe next time, I should deliver the good news."

Data VO: "Well, shit."

Worrying music! Opening credits break!

DVO: "Here's some stuff happening on the ship today: birthdays and anniversaries and promotions and Ambassador T'Pel is coming aboard."

Data goes to the transporter room. There's another person running the transporter because hello! O'Brien took the day off. To be sad now, I guess.
Anyway, she beams T'Pel on board. And I hate everything T'pel is wearing.
Data greets her, and she immediately tells him that she wants to see Picard.
Damn, not even a "thank you" or a "nice to be on board." Ruuuude.
Then she just goes around him and out the door.

Ugliest crayon in the Crayola box

DVO: "I guess not having emotions makes me more like Vulcans than humans, but I'm not really into their shit, you know?"

Data escorts T'Pel into the ready room, where Picard introduces her to Riker.
"Everybody GTFO," she announces.
Data and Riker leave.
Sassy Riker Moment: "Charming woman."
DVO: "I think Riker is being sarcastic. Sarcasm is hard."
Data gets in the lift.
He goes to the ship's barbershop, where Geordi is having a friendly argument with the barber V'Sal about the haircut that V'Sal gave him last week.
Sassy NPC Moment from V'sal: "I'm a barber, not a miracle worker."
DVO: "Also, good-natured ribbing is hard. Also also, Geordi is my best friend."
"Here for a trim?" Geordi asks Data.
"My hair does not require trimming, you lunkhead."
"WTH?" asks Geordi.
"I'm trying light insults and goofing off with friends," says Data.
They agree that this needs work. Then they talk about Data's failed attempt to talk to O'Brien about calling off the wedding. Geordi assures Data that Keiko just has cold feet, and they'll still probably get married.

DVO: "Worf and I are kind of alike because we were both rescued by humans, and live like outsiders in human society."

Data rolls into a room that has, I dunno, replicators in it? I guess you can go shopping here, because a pair of Blues in the background replicate a rabbit plushy and give it to a small kid they have with them.
Worf is flipping through a digital catalog of stuff he can replicate, and Data asks him for help getting a gift for Miles and Keiko. They talk about how Worf has been to a bunch of human weddings, and he knows what to get as a gift.
As a small aside, I'm not really sure why wedding gifts survived into a century where there is no money and you can get anything you want in the replicator room. The (soon-to-be) O'Briens didn't register for anything, as far as I can tell. Sooo, they're gonna get five toasters and have no place to store them in crew quarters. In addition to the one they already had, because when they needed toast, they replicated a toaster.
Worf gets to the tchotchke section and says his parents give shit like this at weddings. He stops at some crystal swan thing.
"I heard that the gift you give should reflect your personality. This swan thing doesn't say Worf."
They exchange a weird look, like Are we shopping for wedding gifts on this space show?

Data asks if Worf has ever been in a human wedding, and Worf says he has not, and he's kind of glad because those kinds of occasions include a lot of talking and dancing and crying. Not really Worf's thing.
Data realizes that he doesn't know how to dance.

He goes to sick bay.
Crusher is checking out a pregnant woman named Juarez who is in labor, and she stops to find out what Data wants.
"Can you give me dancing lessons?" he asks.
Crusher is kind of appalled, and she yanks him back into her office. "WHAT?"
Data explains that he saw in her service record that she took first place in a tap and jazz dance contest quite a while ago, and he needs lessons.
She balks, saying that she doesn't want to be known as the "Dancing Doctor" again, but agrees to meet him later to teach him how to dance.

Data gets paged to the bridge.
"I want you to look for ships along the Neutral Zone," says Picard.
"Anywhere specific?" asks Data.
Picard glances at Ambassador Hat, who shakes her head. Picard and the ambassador disappear into the ready room, but not before Picard asks Riker to suddenly change course and go in real close to the Neutral Zone.

DVO: "If I were a human, I would be nervous about going that close to the NZ."

Dramatic music! Commercial break!

Data goes into the ready room to report his findings to Picard and the ambassador. He tells them that the Romulans have ships near the border of the NZ, and that their policy is in place to be aggressive to the Federation.
"Do you think that will continue?" asks Picard.
"Well... yeah," replies Data.
Picard and Ambassador Poorly-Dressed exchange glances, and Data is dismissed.

Data goes back to his quarters and orders cat food from the replicator.
Spot! Welcome to the show!

There's the door chime, and it's O'Brien, who seems nervous.

DVO: "When one of my friends is troubled, I try to make them comfortable."
Data spends a good deal of this scene offering O'Brien all the accouterments of a great nap: refreshments, a comfy chair, soft music, a pillow.
O'Brien refuses, and instead apologizes for shooting the messenger this morning. Data assures him that they're good, and O'Brien hesitantly asks Data to talk to Keiko for him.
"What about Counselor Troi?" asks Data.
"Yeah, she talked to Troi. She's still not going through with it. And she won't talk to me. You've worked with her for a while, she trusts you. Convince her to get married today."
Data is hesitant, and then offers: "I'll talk to her. Maybe she hasn't fully analyzed the situation."

DVO: "Keiko is pretty rational. That should make our convo easier."

Keiko is not open to Data's suggestion that she hasn't analyzed the situation fully, though.
"WTH, Data? I made a decision, and I'm sticking with it. Why are you bringing this up?"
"I'm just saying," says Data, "that you said canceling the wedding will make you happy. But you don't seem happy."
"Not that simple," she says, agitated.
"I think you may have unintentionally hurt Chief O'Brien's feelings."
"Ugh, go the fuck away, Data!"
And she storms out of the arboretum.

DVO: "Gonna go see Counselor Troi. She's the friend I understand the least because she deals in nothing but emotions, and I have none."

Data expresses confusion to Troi that O'Brien and Keiko have talked to their friends, but not each other. She laughs and tells him that the best way to help his friends is to stay out of it.
He replies that he wants to stand with his friends in their time of need, which is why he's been researching what makes a marriage work. But he's been pulling from tons of different alien cultures, and there won't be a lot of overlapping suggestions there.
Troi tells him that Keiko and O'Brien love each other and everything, but sometimes that isn't enough to make two people want to grow old together.
He latches onto that last bit and ponders it.
"I've often thought about eventually getting married myself - I think I have a lot of things to offer a mate - but I can't grow old with them."
Troi feels bad because she hadn't considered that he might want to get married some day. She gives him a hug and tells him that yes, he does have a lot to offer a mate.
Ambassador Hat pages him to her quarters.

He gets to her quarters and ugh, she's taken off that awful hat, but now she's just wearing that skull cap thing that was underneath. It's got like... a faux hawk.

It reminds me of Urgl from Neverending Story.

When Data arrives she checks that he has level three clearance in Starfleet, then tells him she wants info on the E's defense and navigational systems. Then she rattles off her own clearance code.
"Okay, cool, that code is valid," he says, "but if I give you that info, I'll have to tell Captain Picard."
"Why?"
"Because the ship's computer and I have the same fail-safe programs in place. Accessing that info means alerting Picard."
"Oh. I don't actually want the info. I was just checking your security safeguards. They're fine."
You fucking liar. I trust you about as much as I trust your fashion sense.
Data leaves.
DVO: "Kinda wish I had intuition. Vulcans aren't able to lie, so I have to take T'Pel's explanation at face value, which seems sketch."

Dramatic music! Commercial break!

Data goes to the holodeck for his dance lesson. Crusher has programmed in a dance studio, and apparently told Data to wear taps, because she immediately shows him some tap basics. After he gets one step down, he advises her to skip to the end. She seems a bit put out, but does so. He gets it perfect the first time.
"You say you've never done this before?" she asks.
Android, girlfriend. Android.
In fact, she demonstrates several complicated steps, and he matches her and keeps going each time. She has to keep telling him to stop.

You can tell she's frustrated because it took her years to get this down, and Data does it perfectly after watching her for a few seconds. I'd be miffed, too.
"So I can dance now?" Data asks an out-of-breath Crusher.
"You have the basics," she nods.
"Great. Now I can dance at the wedding."
He starts to leave, but she stops him. "Hold up there, tiger. You didn't tell me this was for the wedding. Peeps don't tap at a wedding."
"Why?"
"...I don't really know."
She tries to teach him what looks like a box step, but he keeps stepping all over her feet, and can't figure out that she's trying to lead.
"I can't see your feet," he explains, when she complains that he was a great tap-dancer.
He starts to get it down, and she has him lead.
"Look into my eyes and smile."
Ugh, no. Never tell Data to smile. That shit is terrifying.
Crusher gets called back to sick bay, because Lt Juarez is almost ready to push, and Data programs in a female dance partner to continue practicing.

No. That's terrifying. Stop that.

Data reports to the bridge, musing on the idea that humor and sex are linked in the minds of humans.
Picard and T'Pel enter the bridge as well, because they've reached the coordinates that Picard specified.
"There's a Romulan warbird nearby," says Data.
Picard calls for yellow alert, and T'Pel gives him a suspicious look, but she doesn't stop him. Because the Federation and Romulan Empire are enemies, you can't expect anything less than caution.
Worf hails the warbird, but they respond with text only, because that isn't sketchy at all. The text says the E should go to the agreed-upon coordinates. Worf lets them know when they are in phaser range, and Picard tells them to go to red alert.
This time, T'Pel looks at Picard in shock.
"I trust my crew not to be aggressive," he tells her.
She panics a bit and types new coordinates into Data's panel. "Go there."
When they arrive, she orders Worf to open the channel. Worf is less than pleased taking orders from T'Pel.

A Romulan comes onscreen. Immediately, he's all, "I see your weapons are powered up."
"Yeah, I see yours are, too," says Picard warily.
"Not a threat," says the Romulan breezily. "I salute your show of power."
Ew, dick-measuring.
T'Pel introduces herself to him, and he says his name is Admiral Mendek. There isn't protocol for this kind of meeting, so she suggests that she should just beam over to his ship and start talks.
After they sign off, Picard implores her to reconsider beaming over, saying that they could easily host the Roms with little or no change in security.
"That's illogical," barks T'Pel.
Kind of hate her. Vulcans are stoic and have a dry wit, but she's just a jerk.
She gets in the lift to go to the transporter room.

Picard calls the transporter room, and surprisingly, O'Brien answers. Did he pick up a shift because Keiko canceled the wedding? Or did he really not take the day off?
Anyway, Picard tells him to beam T'Pel over, then he turns and tells Worf to keep a lock on T'Pel, and if anything goes sideways, to beam her back.
Worf and O'Brien walk them through the beam over, and an alarm sounds.
"Losing her pattern!" yells O'Brien.
They try to boost shit, but finally O'Brien apologizes. The ambassador is dead.

Dramatic music! Zoom-in on Picard! Commercial break!

Data's Log, supplemental: "Death is a thing you have to accept when you live on a starship, but when it happens, everyone is emotional but me. Sometimes that sucks."

All of the senior officers are doing CSI: Space on the transporter pad. O'Brien tells Picard everything was fine until it wasn't. Data says that nothing like this has occurred aboard a starship, because there are so many fail-safes in place to prevent it. Geordi reports that there's nothing wrong with the unit.
"We just serviced it and replaced some parts last week," says O'Brien.
Picard orders a level-one diagnostic done on all of the transporters. "Was there interference from the Romulans?"
"Not that we can tell," says O'Brien.
What a shit day for him. Wedding hangs in the balance, and now someone has died on his transporter pad, on his watch.
Crusher comes forward to say that there's a bit of organic material left on the pad, but not enough for an autopsy. T'Pel basically disintegrated as soon as the pattern was lost.
Picard laments that this was a crappy way for a celebrated ambassador to die.
Worf pages Picard and tells him that Mendek is calling and wants to talk to him.

Picard reluctantly picks up the call.
"Where the hell is T'Pel?" asks Mendek.
"She was killed just now, in a transporter accident. We're investigating -"
"Ugh, fuck the Federation," says Mendek. "You guys aren't interested in this conference at all. You don't like the idea of normalizing relations with the Romulan Empire, so you made it look like an accident occurred to kill the ambassador. How very Romulan of you."
OMG, eyeroll at the immediate conspiracy theory. Romulans are exhausting.
"No way," says Picard. "I'll negotiate the contract under the same terms as T'Pel."
"Yeah. We were only willing to work with T'Pel. I suggest we both leave the Neutral Zone before another "accident" happens."
Fuck this guy.
He signs off and flies away.

Picard tells navigation to go back to Federation space and angrily assigns Data to get to the bottom of the transporter accident.
Data leaves the bridge, and we get a montage of him doing studious things in Engineering with Geordi, and running transporter tests with O'Brien. The whole thing is done to a voice-over of Data talking about Sherlock Holmes.   

Data goes to sick bay, and asks Crusher if he can see T'Pel's remains. Crusher is working on the report now, and he asks if she's compared the genetic code in the remains with her last transporter trace.     

 

Data, you're my favorite.
She humors him, and runs the test. The samples appear to be the same, but there's something weird. "Looks like replicated material?"

Dramatic music! Commercial break!

Data reports his findings to Geordi, Picard and Riker in the ready room.
"I think they beamed the ambassador off our own pad while simultaneously beaming replicated material onto the pad."
"That's fucked up," says Picard. "Hey Worf, where are the Romulans?"
"In the Neutral Zone, heading for home," replies Worf.
DVO: "The right course of action here is to alert Starfleet and await instructions, but I doubt the captain will do that."
"Let's go fuckin' get 'em," announces Picard.
Everyone flies into action, and they warp back to the NZ.

They catch up to the Roms pretty quickly, and Mendek drops out of warp, turning his ship with weapons drawn.
Mendek calls to remind Picard that he agreed to leave the NZ, but Picard interrupts him.
"Cut the crap," says Picard. "You kidnapped our ambassador."
"Nobody kidnapped anybody," growls Mendek.
And another warbird decloaks nearby.
"You won't start an incident," guesses Mendek.
"If you kidnapped one of our citizens, this is the hill I will die on," replies Picard.
Data does some voice-over about bluffing and poker while Mendek and Picard size each other up.
"I'm not willing to start a war today," Mendek finally answers. He gestures to someone off-screen, and here comes someone familiar.
"T'Pel," says Riker.
"Yeah, I'm Subcommander Selok," replies the person we knew as T'Pel.
"A fucking spy," mutters Picard.

"Thanks for the ride," laughs Selok.
"Maybe you should leave," says Mendek smugly, cutting the transmission.
"Three more warbirds approaching," announces Worf.
"Sometimes you get the bear," says Riker. "And sometimes the bear gets you."
"Ugh, let's GTFO," says Picard.
They turn and head back to Federation space.

That's a pretty sweet shot.

Data goes back to the arboretum to find Keiko.
"I offended you, and I need to know how to fix that," he says.
She laughs. "You didn't offend me. You need to get dressed for my wedding. I have the perfect carnation for you."

We go straight to the wedding. Data walks Keiko up the aisle in Ten Forward, she and O'Brien drink from a cup, and Picard starts the ceremony.
DVO: "I don't get a lot of human emotions, but I do understand the desire to be loved."
Keiko and O'Brien kiss, and friends rush forward to congratulate them.
Data does a non-tap dance with Keiko, and fortunately, he does not smile.

                                                                       
Data goes to sick bay to see Dr Crusher, and instead, he encounters Picard watching the new Juarez baby.
"While we were facing destruction, this small miracle was taking place," says Picard, a bit sentimentally. "Welcome aboard," he tells the baby.

We finish up with a changing of the guard. Data enters the bridge, and Worf relays everything that has happened during the previous shift. Data then relieves him of duty and sits in The Big Chair to start the third shift.
DVO: "I think being human is not being born flesh and blood, but thinking, feeling, and acting. And if that is the case, I may find my humanity. Until then, I'll keep striving for it."

I really like this episode. It's light-hearted and I like it when they toss in scenes of the crew just going about their days. Also, again, I like the O'Briens and the fact that they'll be appearing more often is awesome.
I didn't even mind the B-plot with the freaking Romulans. You probably know by now that the Roms are not my favorites because they talk a big talk and do little to no walking, but here it's revealed that Selok played the long con, probably posing as T'Pel for a good deal of time, at least enough to earn Federation-wide admiration. That's some straight Cold War shit right there, and it's ballsy. What's more, she hitched a ride on the flagship of Starfleet and convinced the Federation (at least for a little while) that she had died in a transporter accident. No need to go looking for her, because she was supposedly dead at the hands of her own group of people. Mendek's conspiracy theory that the Federation manufactured the accident on purpose was annoying, but that might just be me. I have no patience for conspiracy theories these days. Either way, that was bullshit on his part as well.

There were some nice callbacks in this episode. Data has clearly been corresponding with Maddox, as he referred to past "letters" sent, and again, he's nicer than I am, but at the end of "Measure of a Man," he does encourage Maddox to keep up his research and offers the a-hole insight on request. There is an allusion to the fact that Gates McFadden was a choreographer before working on Star Trek. They mention Lt Juarez being in labor several times throughout the episode before showing her baby at the end. The speech that Picard gives at the end of this episode mirrors the one that Kirk makes at the beginning of "Balance of Terror." Data talks about his love of Sherlock Holmes stories, and the detective's method of deduction. V'Sal's reworking of Bones McCoy's iconic line "I'm a doctor, not a ________."
It's lovely to see things from Data's POV, and how he interacts with people on this ship. We're much more likely to see things the way Picard sees them, or as the ensemble sees them, rather than one person strictly moving around in the space, going about their day.

Something I find interesting that didn't really fit in any other place in this review: the lights on the bridge are dimmed for third shift (overnight), then brightened for day shift. Is... is that necessary? I mean, I know that the lights are dimmed and red lights are used on submarines in order to be able to see the equipment properly and to not ruin the eyesight of the crew. And maybe the third shift on Navy ships dims the lights for this purpose on the bridge, but... no matter what time it is in space, it is always night. There is no technical day. It's all just a construct, a perception. One still has Circadian Rhythms, yes, but what if there is no actual lighted time outside to tell you when to be tired or awake? The closest answer I could get would be from asking people on the International Space Station - do they have times when "daytime" does not correspond to when the sunlight hits the station? Technically, time is relative on the Enterprise, anyway - being in closer proximity to another sun would not automatically make it daytime, regardless of the time being kept on the ship. And different planets will have different lengths of time that make up a solar day cycle, so they're technically keeping Terran time on the ship. They'd have to - only counting days when they are in close proximity to a sun would throw off their sleep cycles, and they'd lose their minds.
So... are they dimming the lights for third shift based on old traditions of working graveyard shifts, where it really has no other meaning? Or does the body actually react in such a way to brighter lighting during those hours that it is necessary to dim them?



- Fun Facts:

- Like "Balance of Terror," this episode involves a run-in with Romulans and a wedding.
- Doing "a day in the life of" episode had been bandied about since the third season. Suggestions for who to focus on included Picard and the ship itself. They eventually chose Data because "he's the only one who is up for 24 hours." Pillar and Berman insisted on a running story arc, so the Romulan spy plot was added.
- The story does indeed cover a full cycle, as it begins with Data completing the third shift on the bridge, and begins with his starting a new third shift.
- A wedding had also been considered for quite some time, and once they settled on O'Brien, the original idea was to marry him to Allenby, the ensign who replaced Wes at navigation. But Pillar thought that might make him a supporting character, and didn't like the idea. So they went with Keiko.
- Brent Spiner and Gates McFadden did their own dancing in this episode, with the exception of the overhead shot. Spiner requested a double, because he didn't feel confident enough in his dancing for that shot. Spiner and McFadden also developed the dialogue for the dancing scene.
- The events with "T'Pel" will come up in a later episode.
- This is the first appearance of both Keiko, and Spot.
- First appearance of the arboretum, the barbershop, the nursery, and the replication center.
- The name of the barber, V'Sal, was not mentioned in this episode, and the Star Trek Encyclopedia thought that he and another Bolian barber, Mot, were the same person, but this barbershop simply employs two Bolians.
- In the barbershop, there is another officer getting their hair dyed in the background. The wand used for the dying is usually seen in Engineering, as a tool.
- The replicating center is a redress of the Enterprise bridge from the first three movies.
- The actual timing of this episode is a bit goofy. Data states both that this date is the 1550th day since the E was commissioned; and that the Hindu Festival of Lights is being celebrated. The Duwali Festival takes place in October, but Data's date count would put the commission of the E in July. The The Next Gen Technical Manual says October, however. Using Data's date count would put the wedding on January 1st of 2368.
- Picard's wedding speech would later form the basis for another on DS9.
- Technically, a ship's captain could not marry couples unless the captain was also a notary public, and the honor was bestowed upon them (it wasn't for every Navy). Many Navies simply included notary public licenses along with ship mastery certifications.
- Sometimes the lines on the transporter pad are inconsistent in this episode. This is because they were redressing the transporter room set to use in movie #6.
- Though the lights are shown dimmed in scenes in other episodes, this is the first time the overnight shift is correlated to the dimmed lights.
- We'll see Alan Scarfe (Medek) as another Romulan in the sixth season, and later as a different alien on Voyager.
- I was today years old when I learned that the lionfish in the ready room is named Livingston, was named after producer David Livingston, and that Patrick Stewart thought that a captain in Starfleet would not approve of keeping an animal captive.

Red deaths: 0
To date: 0
Gold deaths: 0
To date: 0.

Blue deaths: 0
To date: 0
Unnamed color crew deaths: 0
To date: 11,000

Obnoxious Wes moments: 0
To date: 1

Legitimate Wes moments when he should have told someone to go fuck themselves: 0
To date: 0

Sassy Geordi moments: 1
To date: 2

Sassy Wes Moments: 0
To date: 1

Sassy Worf Moment: 0
To date: 2

Sassy Riker Moments: 1
To date: 6

Sassy Picard Moments: 0
To date: 5

Sassy NPC Moments: 1
To date: 1
Sassy Data Moments: 0
To date: 1
Sassy O'Brien Moments: 0
To date: 0
Sassy Crusher Moments: 0
To date: 2
Sassy Troi Moments: 0
To date: 4
Sassy Guest Star Moments: 0
To date: 2

Number of times that it is mentioned that Data is an android: 6
To date: 15

Number of times that Troi reacts to someone else's feelings: 0
To date: 10

Number of times that Geordi "looks at something" with his VISOR: 0
To date: 0
Number of times when Data gives too much info and has to be told to shut up: 0
To date: 0
Picard Maneuvers: 1
To date: 14
Tea, Earl Grey: 0
To date: 2

Goodnight, Uhura

ST:TNG Season Two, Episode Nine "The Measure of a Man"

ST:TNG Season Two, Episode Nine "The Measure of a Man"
Production Order: 35
Air Order: 35
Stardate: 42523.7
Original Air Date: February 13, 1989

Picard's Log 42523.7: "Heading to starbase 173, which is new. Random rambling about the crew and what stuff we're  taking on board while there."

We start out this week with a friendly crew poker game - four of the senior staff and O'Brien. This is our first poker game. I love these. No poker so much, but I love that they get together like once a week to play.
This is also Data's first game. He's pretty stoked because he's certain that the game will be easy. He points out that there's a limited number of combinations that can be played, and it makes sense that he would know them, as he has the capacity to memorize them all. Dude could easily count cards if he wanted to, but Data is lawful good, so you know he won't.
Data's friends remind him that it's about more than the cards, but he cheerfully goes along with everything, and he ends up in the game with just Riker.
At one point, he scrutinizes Riker's blank look and asks, "Is that a 'poker face'?"

"Are we playing or not?" Riker demands.
They continue, and Riker wins with shit cards.
The others inform Data that Riker was bluffing, which Data does not quite get, because again, lawful good.
"I bet that you wouldn't call," explains Riker.
"But how did you know?" Data asks.
"Instinct, Data. Instinct," Pulaski replies.
I hold my breath, and... nothing. No further robophobic comments. No smart-ass mansplaining from the doctor about how Data is an android, and will never understand such things because they're human qualities. She just deals the next round.
You guys, I actually like this Pulaski. Sure, she's brash and opinionated, but lacking the blatant rudeness to Data, I'm really okay with her. Is it annoying that she's a female McCoy clone? Yeah, a bit. But if she can make it work in this cast, then I'm fine with it.
Three minutes in and you're doing okay, Pulaski. Don't fuck it up.

Ooh, cool model alert!

Picard is sitting in the starbase at what I guess is some kind of cafe or cafeteria, and he spots someone entering the area. He gets up and goes to her.
"Phillipa Louvois," he greets her warmly. "I haven't seen you in ten years. Feels like fifty."
"You wanna break a chair across my teeth?" she laughs. "Ain't love wonderful?"
Aw, man. A Picard romance? Those never go well. Sometimes they get the banter right, like they do here, but Picard romances are so freaking awkward.

Anyway, some music! Opening credits break!

Whoa, an Antican!

When we return, Picard and Captain Louvois (Loovwah) are having a drink and catching up. Apparently, Louvois had prosecuted Picard's court-marshal when the Stargazer was lost. Looks like he came out on top, but he accuses Louvois of having enjoyed her job too much. At some point, she left Starfleet ("I was pushed out," she argues), but has now returned, as she thinks Starfleet is still worthwhile. She's now the head of the JAG (Judge Advocate General, maritime... space law) office in this sector. They bicker for a moment over the Stargazer affair, then she rolls her eyes.
"It brings a sense of order and stability to my universe to know that you're still a pompous ass," she tells him.

Damn, this is great conversation. Writing? Acting? A combination of both? Let's say both.
She calls him sexy, but she's cockblocked by an admiral showing up, and excuses herself.
The admiral has a blue shirt in tow, Commander Maddox, and he says that Maddox has business with the E, but first the admiral wants a tour of the ship.

The admiral is wearing the rare second-season  admiral uniform with the vertical boxed pips.
It looks like 80's girl punk fashion.

Picard and Riker exit the bridge onto the lift with Maddox and the admiral. Maddox stares at the back of Data's head like a rapist sizing up a victim from across the bar. Sensing someone staring at him, Data gives Maddox an extended stare back.
The group walks around the bridge looking at stuff, and Picard and the admiral discuss how the starbase being so close to The Neutral Zone means that they can keep an eye on things while screwing with the Romulans' heads.
Maddox reminds the admiral that he doesn't have time to chit-chat and the admiral says, "Oh, yeah. Maddox is going to work on your android. Cool? Cool." And he takes off because they don't need him on-set anymore.
Maddox greets Data as though they might be acquaintances, and when Picard asks about it, Maddox says that he evaluated Data for entrance to Starfleet Academy.
"He was the only person on the committee to refuse me entrance because he said I wasn't a sentient being," Data corrects.
Although he speaks to Data directly, Maddox calls him "it" instead of using the correct male pronoun. Picard looks mildly disturbed, which makes sense, because WHY ARE THERE SO MANY ROBOPHOBES IN STARFLEET?

"WTF do you plan on doing with my second officer?" demands Picard.
"I'm going to take him apart!" says Maddox excitedly.

Suspicious music!

Even Riker's reflection thinks that Maddox is a little bitch.

Picard drags Maddox, Data and Riker into the observation lounge.
"Okay, what the hell are you doing again?" asks Picard.
"So when I saw Data at the Starfleet hearing, I knew I wanted to study it," explains Maddox. "I started looking at Dr Soong's work. I think I can make a bunch of androids, but I need to take it apart first."
He gestures at Data and refers to him as "this."
And holy shit, he does the smile!
The smile that lets you know that a character is crazy and trying to hide it behind a wall of "nice."

Then he starts telling them how he's going to run diagnostics on Data's programming, and dump what is essentially "Data" into a computer core.
Data is curious, and asks a few pointed questions about Maddox's method and findings so far. Dude has built a positronic brain, but he can't get it to work. He wants to take Data apart so he can check out his insides and examine his brain to get the answers.
"I don't think you have your shit together enough to take me apart," says Data.
"I don't either," replies Picard. "Data is a valued member of my crew, so you and your experiment can go to hell."
"Ooh, not what I wanted to hear," says Maddox. He attempts to look sad, which doesn't get him very far, as he's a giant egotistical twatwaffle. "I had orders drawn up to transfer Data over to my command, so it needs to report to my office tomorrow morning."
Data looks surprised. Picard pulls out his best WTF face.

Dramatic music! Commercial break!

Picard is in his ready room when Data rings the doorbell.
The captain tells his android officer that his work is awesome, and that he doesn't want Data to leave the ship.
"The guy is a charlatan," Data replies. "I'm not doing his experiment."
"Yeah, but what if he's right, and he can make a bunch of you?" asks Picard.
Data pauses. "Geordi's eyes are considered better than regular human eyes, right?" Picard agrees. "Okay, so why aren't all Starfleet officers required to remove their eyes and replace them with cybernetics?"
Picard looks away and doesn't say anything. He looks uncomfortable.
"Ohhhhh," says Data. "It's because I'm not human."
He leaves, and Picard, now pissed as hell, demands that the computer system give him information about transfer orders.

Picard takes Data's transfer orders to Louvois' office.
"I can't make heads or tails of this legal shit," he says, dropping the device on her desk. "You're the JAG officer in this area - my android officer is being transferred to some dipshit who is going to take him apart for some ill-conceived experiment."
She's pleased that he's come to her for help, and teases him about it, but he quickly moves it back to a serious note - Picard does not have the patience to screw around right now.
"We accept risks when we join Starfleet," she reminds him.
"Yeah, but not SS-bullshit experiments," he counters. "WTF are my options?"
"He can resign," she replies. "We can't stop the transfer."
"That's it?" he demands. "Are you shitting me?"
"All this passion over a machine?" she purrs, amused.
"Oh, fuck you, Phillipa. This is important to me." He gathers up the transfer device and goes to leave.
She stops him. "I'm glad you felt you could... well, come to me."
His response is not so much a Sassy Moment as a third-degree burn: "The word "trust" just isn't in your vocabulary, is it? Good try - nine out of ten for effort."
Dayum.
She calls out that she wishes things were different, but he barks back that he wishes he could believe that, and leaves.

Data is in his quarters, packing a small bag. He considers each of the items before placing them in the container, then walks into the next room to get another object. While he is away, Maddox strolls in and picks up a hard-cover book off his desk.
He reads the opening line from Shakespeare's Sonnet 29: "When, in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes, I all alone beweep my outcast state."

Data returns. "Excuse much, rude or anything? You just walked into my private quarters without ringing the door chime."
Good point, Data. Vampires must be invited in. Everybody knows that.
But instead of apologizing, or even addressing Data's concern at all, Maddox just continues on about the sonnet, because he's a complete dickhead:
"Is it just words to you? Or do you fathom the meaning?"
Data gets straight to the point, ignoring Maddox's rude questions. "I think you have the knowledge to download things from a positronic brain, but you'll be losing the essence of what you're downloading. It'll record the basic facts, but not what happened. Memory is fragile, and I don't think you have the ability to save it properly. Poker, for instance."
"What the fuck are you talking about?" scoffs Maddox.
"I read every book available about poker," says Data. "So I thought I was prepared. But then when I played, it was completely different. Reading about it and experiencing it are two different things. I don't think you're able to capture the essence of things, and when you do this crap procedure, it will be lost."
"Look," says Maddox, ignoring the fact that Data pretty much called him a fraud, "I wanted us to be a team, but we're gonna do this whether you like it or not."
"Not happening," replies Data. "I resigned. I didn't want to, but you backed me in a corner."
"What?" demands Maddox. "You can't resign!"
And Data says something here that's pretty logical:
"I am the culmination of one man's dream. This is not ego or vanity, but when Dr Soong created me, he added to the substance of the universe. If, by your experiments, I am destroyed, something unique - something wonderful - will be lost. I cannot permit that. I must protect his dream."
"And so must I ," growls Maddox. "But keep packing, because one way or another, you will be reporting to me."
And the asshole storms out.

Dramatic music! Commercial break!

Picard's Log, supplemental: "Maddox, who can't take Data by force because he resigned, ran to Louvois like the little bitch he is. She wants me to mediate."

Picard and Maddox are in Louvois' office. Picard tells Louvois again, that Data is a valued member of his crew. Maddox argues that Picard is being sentimental and assigning human qualities to Data when there are none.
"It may look human, but it's not."
"Yeah, well, I know Picard, and he's not the sentimental type," Louvois interrupts.
Maddox then decides to use Picard's description of "outstanding bridge officer" to his benefit, and describes to Louvois his vision of seeing "an android officer on every ship, being the hands and eyes in dangerous situations."
Sure, asshole. How about, from now on, no humans go out into space, and Starfleet will be populated by only Soong-model androids? They can do alllll of the dangerous jobs! I burned my hand on the toaster oven last week - should an android be handling my hot pizza as well?
"Get to the point," says Louvois.
"We can refuse to let Data resign," Maddox says.
"That's a violation of his rights!" interjects Picard.
"Rights! Rights! I'm sick to death of hearing about rights!" shouts Maddox.
YOU KEEP HEARING ABOUT THEM BECAUSE YOU KEEP TRYING TO VIOLATE THEM.
"What about my right not to have my work subverted by blind ignorance?" he adds.
That's not a right, you dumbfuck. If someone's civil rights impede your ability to work, then oh-fucking-well.

"We have a rule of law in this Federation," points out Louvois. "You cannot simply seize people and experiment with them to prove your pet theories."
"Thank you, Phillipa," says Picard.
THANK YOU, PHILLIPA, I scream at the screen.
"Allowing it to resign would undo years of work in robotics," argues Maddox.
Says fucking who? You've come this far without taking someone apart, there's no need to do it now.
"Starfleet is not an organization that ignores its own regulations when it becomes inconvenient," snaps Picard.
(Okay, that's a shaky point, because we've seen Starfleet do some shady shit when it's convenient, but we've also seen some IRL governments do the same because all of these organizations are run by people, and people are not infallible.)
Then that shitstain Maddox says something that gives Louvois pause:
"Would you allow the Enterprise computer to refuse a refit?"
"The Enterprise computer is property," she reasons. "Is Data?"
"Of course," says Maddox, in a tone that says, "what kind of rhetorical question is that?"
It's also a tone that makes you want to slap a bitch.
Louvois thinks and turns to Picard. "He might have legal standing for that."
"Then you need to find out," says Picard fiercely. "Because we have to settle this now, when we have one android, and not later, when we might have five hundred."

Data's friends are hosting a going-away party for him in Ten Forward. There's a cute Data moment here where he's carefully extracting a gift from some shiny wrapping paper, and Wes encourages him to rip it. Data explains that it can be reused if he does it right, and Wes says that's not the point, so data rips it up, much to the amusement of his friends.

Worf gives him a Klingon novel.
"Klingons are the best novel-writers," rumbles Worf.
"I couldn't disagree more," says Pulaski cheerfully.
Bated breath...
"...but we'll save that for another time," she finishes.
Whoa.
You guys, I really like this Pulaski. Twice now, she's had the opportunity to be a total asshole, and didn't take it either time. In the first place, she merely made an observation and left it at that. Now, instead of spoiling for a fight, she's hinted that she'd like a lively debate in the future. Pulaski without the blatant robophobia is actually interesting and funny. It could be that they dropped it this episode because Maddox is such an enormous disco stick, and it wouldn't do to have two robophobes, but I hope not. We're not even half-way through this season, and not having to write about robophobic Pulaski would be such a gift.
Data steps away from the party to talk to Geordi, who is sitting by himself at a table nearby. He's understandably upset because Data was forced out, and now he has to leave. He finds it unfair. Data reminds him that life is rarely fair, and Geordi pats him on the shoulder and tells him to take care of himself.
It's a lovely friend moment.

Picard and Riker go to Louvois' office again.
She's gone over the legal stuff, and found that Data has no rights and is property, based on some laws that were passed in the early twenty-first century.
(Dammit, who is making legislature now that's screwing with my favorite android in the future? If I found out it was over some POS iPad or something...)
Data must report to Maddox for the refit.
"Bullshit!" roars Picard. "How do I challenge this?"
"With a hearing?" she shrugs.
"Fine! Get me a hearing!"
She snorts. "Are you kidding me? This is a brand-new base. I don't have any staff yet."
"Make it work!'
"Okay, protocol in this instance says that officers from the defendant's ship can serve as counsel. You're the most senior officer, Picard, so you're Data's defense lawyer,"
He nods.
"Prosecution has to be Riker, then," she finishes.
"Oh, fuck that shit!" says Riker. "Data's my friend, and I refuse. I can't argue that he's property, because I don't actually believe it."
They get up to leave.
"Fine," snaps Louvois. "Then I'm making a ruling based on the current laws. Data is a toaster, and now the property of Starfleet, in command of Maddox."
Riker is disgusted. "So because I'm the next most-senior officer, I have to argue that Data is property, or he definitely becomes property?"
"Yep," says Louvois. "And you better make me believe it, too. If I think you're doing a crap job, I'll shut it down and ship Data off to Maddox's lab."
"Screw it," says Riker. "I'm in."
He stomps out of the office.
"Don't fuck this up," Louvois tells Picard.
"Don't you fuck this up," he replies.

Dramatic music! Commercial break!

Picard calls Data to his ready room.
"Okay, so we got the ruling back, and you're the property of Starfleet, and you can't resign," he tells Data.
"Oh. That sucks. I guess I hope that Maddox isn't as big a dipshit as everyone thinks he is," says Data.
He turns to leave.
"What? No!" calls Picard. "We're gonna fight this. We'll have a hearing. I've been appointed your lawyer. Do you want someone else instead?"
"No. I think you will do an outstanding job," replies Data.

Riker is in some place where he has a bank of computers to work with, and he's got that look on his face that you get when you're having to research some bullshit assignment and you know you can't procrastinate forever. He pulls up schematics for Data and begins reading them. He smiles at one point, but we don't know if he's smiling because he's looking at the schematics for his android friend and feeling good about his connections with Data, or because he's found something that he can use in the hearing. Given how he acts throughout the rest of this episode, it's the former rather than the latter. His face falls, because he knows that he still has to come up some convincing arguments to just hand Data over to Maddox, and he probably thinks, like the rest of us, that Maddox is a huge piece of shit.

Everyone is in the JAG court room, ready for the hearing. Louvois gives the date as 42527.4, which means that it's actually only been a day since Maddox rolled up and claimed that Data belonged to him now.  She announces that the JAG office has found that Data is property of Starfleet and that there has been a challenge for his legal status.
Riker is up first. He calls Data to the stand.
As we've seen in past proceedings, Data puts his hand on a machine which reads out his name, current rank, and any commendations.

Riker starts to gloss over the commendation part, but Picard objects and says he wants to hear all of it. Data is pretty decorated.
Riker asks what Data what he is, and Data replies that he is an android. When pressed further, he gives the Webster 24th Century Edition definition of an automaton that is created to look like a human being. Then Riker asks who built him, and again when pressed, Data says that it was Dr Noonien Soong, the foremost expert in cybernetics, a human.
Riker's point is that androids like Data are used to serve and assist humans.
Then he pulls out a thick-ass bar of steel and asks Data to bend it.
Picard objects, because lots of species have super-strength.
Louvois overrides him, because who doesn't want to see someone bend a thick-ass metal bar?
Riker enters the bar into evidence. He then asks Louvois for her permission to remove Data's hand and give it to her for inspection.
Picard can't get out of his seat fast enough to object, because removing someone's hand for inspection is super fucked-up. But then he sinks back into his chair and withdraws his objection, muttering how it "doesn't matter."

Riker, leaning down to take Data's hand and arm off, whispers "I'm sorry," to Data, before twisting the arm and disconnecting it from his body. Riker carries it carefully over to Louvois and describes how Data is the physical manifestation of one man's dream, and that he's a collection of neural nets and heuristic algorithms.
"And now," announces Riker dramatically, "a man will shut it off."
And he reaches through the back of the witness chair and flips the switch which Data had so closely guarded, but which Lore blabbed about to the ship.
Data crumples over at the waist.

"Pinocchio is dead," says Riker. "Its strings have been cut."
Silence in the courtroom. Louvois looks disturbed. Picard looks disturbed. Riker returns to his chair and looks absolutely horrified at own actions. He basically killed a man in front of them.
Picard weakly asks for a recess. Louvois quietly grants it. Everyone needs to leave the courtroom to regroup.

Oh, wait. Everybody but this smiling psychopath. This guy can't wait to get his hands on Data, to take him apart in just such a way in his own laboratory. Fuck this guy and his Martin Shkreli smirk.

Anyway, dramatic music and commercial break, because fuck this guy.
Fuck him some more.

Picard goes back to the Enterprise to drown his sorrows in a drink in an empty Ten Forward.
He admits to Guinan that Riker's argument was so good that he almost believed it himself.
Ginan points out that his argument will be more difficult because Data has no problem admitting that he's a machine. She asks if he's worried about where Data will end up.
"Not really," he says. "I've sent other crew members on much more dangerous missions. But Data's been very valuable to me as a bridge officer, way more than I could account for."

And paraphrasing Guinan's response is no good, so here's the conversation verbatim:
Guinan: "And now he's about to be ruled the property of Starfleet. That should increase his value."
(Picard pauses and looks at her)
Picard: "In what way?"
Guinan: "Well, consider that, in the history of many worlds there have always been disposable creatures. They do the dirty work. They do the work that no one else wants to do because it's too difficult or hazardous. And an army of Datas, all disposable... you don't have to think about their welfare. You don't think about how they feel. Whole generations of disposable people."
(A long pause.)
Picard: "You're talking about slavery."
Guinan: "Oh, I think that's a little harsh."
Picard: "I don't think that's a little harsh. I think that's the truth. But that's a truth that we have obscured behind a comfortable, easy euphemism - property. But that's not the issues at all, is it?"

Back in the courtroom, Picard has begun his argument. He immediately dismisses the fact that Data is a machine that was built by a human as irrelevant. He calls Data to the stand and literally begins unpacking Data's case.
He pulls out a small display box of medals and asks why Data has them.
"I don't know. I just wanted them." Then sweet, sweet Data leans forward and asks uncertainly, "Is that vanity?"
Picard pulls out the book of sonnets. "What is this?"
"A gift from you, sir. It reminds me of friendship and service."
Lastly, Picard pulls out a little clear geometric shape and sets it on the desk in front of Data. He pushes a button, and a tiny holographic image of Tasha Yar appears.
"Okay, and who is that?" asks Picard. "You don't have any other portraits of your fellow crew members - why her?"
Data pauses. "I promised her that I wouldn't say."
"I don't think she'd mind," says Picard kindly.
"She was special to me. We were... intimate."
Squirms in the courtroom. No one expected this.

Picard is finished, Riker has no questions, so Data steps down.
Picard calls Maddox a hostile witness.
Maddox gets up and does that hand-on-the-box thing and we find out that he's Assistant Chair of Robotics at the Daystrom Technological Institute. The box starts to list off papers he's written, and Picard interrupts.
"Yes, yes, you're very smart."
Also, notice: Data only took up as much room in the chair as he needed. Maddox does the arm equivalent of man-spreading, making himself look bigger and more menacing. Or trying to, anyway. Mostly he just looks like some giant douche who is sitting uncomfortably for the sake of posturing.

"So your view is that Data is not sentient, and so not entitled to the rights given to every life-form in the Federation?" Picard asks.
"Yeah, he's not sentient," answers Maddox.
"Okay, so what's required for that?"
"Intelligence, self-awareness and consciousness," Maddox replies.
"Prove to the court that I am sentient," challenges Picard.
Maddox scoffs at the idea.
"Fine, let's figure out why Data is not," Picard suggests. "The first criteria is intelligence. Is he intelligent?"
"Yes," replies Maddox. "It has the ability to learn, understand, and cope with new situations."
"Okay, so, one box checked," says Picard. "What do we need for self-awareness?"
"You have to be aware of yourself and your ego and your actions."
"Oh, okay." Picard turns to Data. "What are you doing, right now?"
Data: "I am taking part in a legal hearing to determine my rights and status - am I a person or property?"
Picard: "And what's at stake?"
Data: "My right to choose. Perhaps my very life."
"Seems pretty fucking self-aware to me," Picard says to Maddox.
Maddox looks like he's panicking a bit. Riker, in the background, is trying to keep from grinning.

"Do you like Data?" asks Picard.
Maddox falters. "I... don't know it well enough to like or dislike it."
"You think he's awesome, though?"
Maddox agrees, coming off as a sweaty stalker caught in the bushes outside some girl's house.
And now we get down to the nitty-gritty.
"But you want to take him apart?" asks Picard.
"To make more," insists Maddox.
"How many?"
"As many as we need. Hundreds? Thousands?" He falters. "There is no limit."
Annnd the trap is sprung.
"Oh, thousands," repeats Picard. "Isn't that a race? And won't we be judged by how we treat that race?"
In the background, Louvois sits up a little straighter. What was that, now?
Picard is pissed off now. He leans on the desk to yell at Maddox. "Data has met two of your criteria for sentience. What if he meets that third, consciousness? What is he then? I don't know. Do you?"
Maddox flounders. He has no answer.
Picard turns on Riker. "Do you?"
And to Louvois: "Do you?"
A pause.
Picard starts his closing argument. "Eventually, Maddox or someone like him will succeed in making more Datas, maybe a lot more, and the decision you make here today will determine how we treat others like Data in the future."
He lays it all out for Louvois.
Picard: "It could significantly redefine the boundaries of personal liberty and freedom. Expanding them for some, savagely curtailing them for others. Are you prepared to condemn him, and all who come after him, to servitude and slavery? You Honor, Starfleet was founded to seek out new life. Well, there it sits!"
(He points at Data)
"Waiting."
He moves to sit down, but not before murmuring to Louvois not to fuck it up.
And you'd think that she'd call a recess to think, but she doesn't. She gives a verdict then and there with no closing from Riker.

Louvois: "This case has dealt with metaphysics, with questions best left to saints and philosophers. I'm neither competent nor qualified to answer those. But I've got to make a ruling to try to speak to the future... Is Data a machine? Yes. Is he the property of Starfleet?... No. We'e all been dancing around the basic issue - does Data have a soul? I don't know that he has. I don't know that I have. But I have got to give him the freedom to explore that question himself."
Data gets up and goes to Maddox.
"Go fuck yourself."
Naw, that's what I want him to say.
He's much nicer and sticks to protocol:

Maddox looks down and though I can't see his feet, I feel like he maybe shuffled them like an uncertain kid in dirty sneakers.
"I'll cancel the transfer."
Data encourages Maddox to keep on keepin' on with his work, and that he's available for things that do not involve systematically taking him apart and literally picking apart his brain. He finds Maddox's work interesting. Data leaves.
Louvois approaches Maddox, and Maddox murmurs "He's remarkable," like an awkward teenager admiring a self-confident cheerleader.
She smiles. "You didn't call him it."
He smiles, then also leaves.
She goes to leave but Picard calls her back and invites her to dinner. They slip back into their easy banter from yesterday and agree to have dinner.

Riker is standing in the dark in the observation lounge, staring out the window.
Data comes in and asks why he isn't at the party on the holodeck. Riker says the party isn't really for him, and when data asks if it's because he lost the case, Riker replies that it's because he almost won. Dude feels bad for doing a good job.
Data does not feel this way.
Data: "Is it not true, that had you refused to prosecute, Captain Louvois would have ruled summarily against me?"
Riker: "Yes."
Data: "That action injured you and saved me. I will not forget it."
(Riker smiles)
Riker: "You're a wise man, my friend."
Data: "Not yet, sir. But with your help, I am learning."
They head off to the party.

You know what makes good Star Trek, you guys? Really, really good Star Trek? It's the ability to tell a story honestly without being preachy. To get at the heart of the matter, in such a way that you pull your audience along with you, so that they too feel as your characters feel.
This is one of those episodes that stands out for me. We've had some pretty good episodes this season, but they're not even close to "The Measure of a Man." I've watched this episode maybe half a dozen times over the last week, some of it bit by bit, a few minutes at a time, memorizing some parts by accident, yet it never failed to not catch me by surprise.
Maybe it's the timing. I've been thinking a lot lately about second-class citizens and disposable people. Those stuck in the cycle of slavery and the strange sort of near-slavery that both is and isn't. They are people and not commodities... unless you are a Bruce Maddox, and there are so, so many Bruce Maddoxes.
The fact of the matter is, we are assholes. We, as a race, suck. We have always found ways and reasons to subjugate one another to torture each other because it makes it feels powerful or special to shut others down. Will we ever reach a point, collectively, were we hold each other in equal stance? I want to hope so. But this episode says that on some level, even in the twenty-fourth century, we still do not. Humans hold each other up as equal, yes. But others? Outsiders? Not-humans?
Sometimes we do it unintentionally. We are unaware that we do not hold others up the same as ourselves. But the more we recognize it, the more we correct it, and the more we self-police. We retrain ourselves to think differently. And we can work together for the betterment of everyone.

So how did we get this episode? Production was still being affected by the writers' strike of 1988, so they couldn't write anything new. Along comes Melinda Snodgrass, and she has a dynamite story that was already written and can be adapted. Who's this new girl? A lawyer. A lawyer with no writing credits to her name, but who quit her legal job to work as an adviser on this episode, which is part of the reason why it rings so true. An interesting take on this - Snodgrass has noticed that most people consider this to be a Data episode, because Data wins his right to choose his own life path; however, she insists that this is actually a Picard episode. Picard struggles with the idea that data might be a modern-day slave within the Federation, and when he realizes this, fights against it with all of his might.

I would give credit also to Riker here, who must take the opposing argument, despite the fact that his views coincide exclusively with those of Picard. Riker is damned if he does, damned if he doesn't, because any of his actions might doom Data to a life of servitude.
It would be remiss of me not to mention Louvois as well. I genuinely like her character, the military lawyer out in the middle of nowhere who runs into an old flame and finds herself in the middle of a case as soon as she steps of the boat. Her attitude throughout most of the episode is that this is kind of funny, that this old boyfriend is stubbornly holding onto a crew member and doesn't want him transferred out of, what? Pigheadedness? Favoritism? It then becomes a question of property/not-property, and there are some moments when I'm sure she wished she could go with the ol' Solomon Solution, and just cut the android in half. It isn't until Picard's argument comes up that she realizes just how far-reaching this decision could be. She is making law that could potentially affect others for hundreds or thousands of years, and that thought is sobering. She admits that she was unprepared and is possibly not the best person for the job. Sometimes that is how it goes with law - you walk into something unprecedented and must decide if the law is ultimately wrong. And she gets it completely right when she mentions as part of her decision that the real question was not one of property or sentience, but that of souls - if we put so much importance on the worth of a soul and of having a soul, should we not extend that same worth to others?
Last but not least: Guinan. She's only in that one short scene near the end, but that scene is the turning point for Picard. We may not know what his previous argument was (possibly just of Data's worth to Starfleet as a whole, unbroken android), but Guinan flips on the light in the room and shines it exactly on the spot that had been gnawing at the edges of Picard's conscience: that the treating of Data as less than human was wrong. She's pretty blunt about it too. She lets him come to the conclusion, but it was one he just wasn't quite seeing. Could this role have been fulfilled by another character, like Troi, whose part was mostly cut from this episode? Yes, as ship's counselor, she would have fit the bill nicely. But for twentieth-century humans watching this show, it needed to be Guinan. Guinan, the alien who watches and gives out quiet advice. Guinan, who always seems to get straight to the heart of the matter, even when you didn't want to approach the subject yourself. Guinan, who is played by a Black woman.

Is this episode the best Star Trek of them all? I don't know. We have a lot of Star Trek to get through, and there are so many really fantastic episodes. But I don't feel hesitant in saying that this represents some of the best that Star Trek has to offer.



Red deaths: 0
To date: 1

Gold deaths: 0

Blue deaths: 0

Obnoxious Wes moments: 0

Legitimate Wes moments when he should have told someone to go fuck themselves: 0
To date: 1

Sassy Geordi moments: 0
To date: 2

Sassy Wes Moments: 0

Sassy Worf Moment: 0

Sassy Riker Moments: 0
To date: 4

Sassy Picard Moments: 0
To date: 7

Sassy NPC Moments: 0
Sassy Data Moments: 0
To date: 3
Number of times that it is mentioned that Data is an android: Pretty much this whole episode
To date:16

Number of times that Troi reacts to someone else's feelings: 0
To date: 9

Number of times that Geordi "looks at something" with his VISOR: 0
To date: 1
Number of times when Data gives too much info and has to be told to shut up: 0
To date: 11

Episodes Left Until We Get Rid of Pulaski:

Fun Facts: 

- The courtroom is a redress of the battle bridge, and features the star chart from "Conspiracy."

- The model used for Starbase 173 is the same model used for the Regula I space lab from Wrath of Khan.

- This episode was nominated for a Writer's Guild Award.

- Thirteen minutes of extra footage ended up on the cutting room floor, but was restored to the episode on the Season Two Blu-Ray set. Those minutes include:

      - Picard and the admiral talk about their time on board the USS Reliant. This means that Picard             and Chekov have both served on the Reliant and ships named Enterprise.

      - Picard discussing the transfer of Data with the admiral, by way of his desktop computer.

      - Data gifts Geordi with his Sherlock Holmes pipe.

      - An extended version of the farewell party in Ten Forward. Pulaski tells Data about some good             places to live; Riker and Troi quietly discuss their feelings about the situation with each other;             that complete dick Maddox crashes the party and insults Data.

      - Riker interrupts a fencing match between Picard and some other crew member to tell Picard that         he plans to do a good job on this hearing. Picard promises the same.

      - Picard and Data discuss their legal strategy. Data quotes Shakespeare's "kill the lawyers" bit               from Henry VI.

      - A extended scene of Riker and Data's discussion in the observation lounge.

- Maddox is Assistant Chair of Robotics at Daystrom Technological Institute. (You remember Richard Daystrom, right? That was a great TOS episode.) This is the first time the institute has been mentioned.

- This is not the last time we will hear about Data's rights, sadly.

- This episode actually contradicts something mentioned in "Where Silence Has Lease:" Pulaski, in fine robophobic form, sighs and says that she must get used to him being referred to as a person, because his Starfleet personnel file lists him as being "alive."

- Maddox is unaware of Lore, which is, in part why he goes after Data. He is not aware of other Soong-model androids. Though, do any of us really believe that Lore would cooperate? Actually, I kind of ship that working relationship - Maddox and Lore deserve each other.

- Phillipa Louvois is one of the rare instances we get to see a staff captain.

- The Shakespeare Sonnet 29 is actually fairly appropriate to the situation. In it, the bard describes feeling badly because of critics and people having ill-will toward him. he is cheered up by the company and support of good friends. Scholars argue that the poem might be autobiographical, as Shakespeare was going through rough times when the poem was composed.

My fire brings all the cats to the yard.