ST:TNG Season Five, Episode Eleven "Hero Worship"

ST:TNG Season Five, Episode Eleven "Hero Worship"
Production Order: 11
Air Order: 11
Stardate: 45397.3
Original Air Date: January 27, 1992

I have just learned that, in the military (all branches), if a member of the military has a pet, that pet has a rank, and it is always one rank above that of the service member. This way, if that service member is a complete piece of shit and beats their pet, they are disciplined not only for beating a fellow officer, but for beating a commanding officer. You can get dishonorably discharged for that. That's... that's brilliant. This also means that, if Star Fleet followed that same protocol, that Spot is actually Commander Spot.

Picard's Log 45397.3: "Going to see what happened to the Vico, a research ship that was checking out the black cluster."

The E hits the black cluster, and they find the Vico right away. It's adrift in space, and when they pull up visuals, it's obvious why: a big chunk of the front end is gone. Crap.

Data does scans and determines that there are no life signs, and that many of the decks are exposed to space. They can't get a lock on the computers to get information transfers over because those systems are closed behind emergency bulkheads.

"Is it stable enough for an away team?" asks Picard.

"Kinda?" says Data. "The chance of collapse is pretty high, though."

Picard tells Riker to form an away team, but to make sure the transporter chief keeps a lock on each of the members, just in case.

Riker chooses Data and La Forge, and they beam over.

The Vico is a mess of twisted wreckage and fallen crewmembers, all dead. Beams threaten to fall over. The computer stations they try are non-functioning, so they tap directly into the computer core and begin transferring files through a device.

There's a weak human voice nearby, and Riker and Data leave La Forge with the computer to check it out. They wander onto the destroyed bridge with a palm light, and finally find the source: a human kid.

Dramatic music! Opening credits!

Picard's Log, supplemental: "Well, shit. There was a kid alive in the wreckage, and the sensors were blocked from seeing him. Gonna attempt a rescue, but the going will be tough."

The transporter chief gets a lock on the kid, but he's pinned under a fallen beam, and the shielding in place is keeping things dicey. They tell Crusher to prepare for an emergency beam straight to sick bay, and the chief throws the controls. It starts to work for a hot second, then fizzles out: too much interference.

"No good," the chief tells the group. "Can you move the kid to the corridor? I think I can get a lock there."

Data looks around and does some quick calculations before telling Riker and La Forge (who has finished the computer transfer) that he can move the beam to get the kid, but the whole bridge is like one big game of Pick-Up Sticks, and moving this one beam might upset the balance. "I think you guys should beam back first."

Riker and La Forge agree and go back to the corridor so the chief can grab them. Once they're out, Data goes over the plan with the kid: he's gonna lift the beam, then they both run like hell for the corridor.

"How can you lift that by yourself?" asks the kid.

"I am an android," states Data. He tries a bit of bedside manner: "It is going to be... okay."

The kid nods, Data counts off, then moves the beam. The kid books it for the corridor, and Data drops the beam. The wreckage around them creaks and starts to fall around them. They hit the beam-out point and energize just as another beam falls right where they had been standing.

They appear in sick bay, and Crusher smiles at the kid, who backs closer to Data.

"Don't be afraid," she smiles.

Picard's Log, supplemental: "We explored the rest of the Vico, and found no other survivors. We're getting the kid trauma counseling."

The kid, Timothy, tells his story to Troi and Crusher in sick bay while he holds Data's hand: "They had purple helmets and phaser rifles. They came in and started shooting. They didn't see me."

Crusher leaves to get Timothy some food, and Data tries to excuse himself to go to Engineering to help La Forge, but Timothy won't let go of his hand.

Troi asks Timothy if he'd like Data to stay, and the kid nods.

In Engineering, La Forge shows Picard schematics of the Vico, and where things were located. It'll be a bit before the computer info from the Vico can be accessed.

"Timothy was outside the computer core when we found him. His mother was the ship's engineer, and they found her body in the core. His father was the second officer," says La Forge, "and most likely on the bridge when it was exposed to space."

"Most likely," says Picard heavily.

Down in sick bay, Timothy has fallen asleep and finally let go of Data's hand.

"His whole world is gone," Troi tells Data. "We have to help him build a new one."

Dramatic music! Commercial break!

Back in Engineering, La Forge and Data look at what the computer device was able to pull from the Vico. It doesn't look good - almost 85% of the info is gone, and there are no sensor logs. La Forge thinks he can maybe use the E's sensors to boost. 

Data is curious, and asks La Forge if he ever experienced any trauma as a kid.

It's a moment before La Forge answers, and he's obviously bothered by a memory. "I was caught in a fire once when I was five. It was before I got my first VISOR, and it was only for a few minutes, but those were the longest few moments ever. It was years before I let my parents get out of earshot. I needed to know they were there all the time."

"Timothy doesn't have that anymore," notes Data thoughtfully.

Timothy, who has been released from sick bay, has been shunted sideways into the schoolroom. The teacher reads aloud from a mythology textbook to the rest of the class, but pauses in his reading to ask Timothy to sit down with the other kids and follow along with the reading. Timothy, who is using a building set to make a model of a temple schematic on the wall, insists that he isn't finished. The teacher looks to a window into another room, where Troi watches Timothy.

I have to question pretty much everything about this scene. Why is Timothy in the classroom, and not Troi's office? Why is the teacher insisting that Timothy stop what he's doing and join the others? The kid is traumatized. He won't want to sit quietly with the group while his head is full of immediate, bad memories. Leave him alone to build his model. And what's with the weird observation window into the schoolroom? Is it the foyer into that area, where parents say goodbye to their kids when dropping them off? Because it's used several times in this episode to spy on Timothy, and that's just off-putting.

On the bridge, Data and La Forge have put together some schematics of what they think happened to the Vico: they were in the black cluster and attacked with some kind of disruptor weapon at close range. Afterward, gravitational waves pushed the ship out of the black cluster.

"That kind of attack sounds like it came from a cloaked vessel, like the Romulans, or the Klingons," says Picard. "But we're nowhere near either of those territories."

"Could be the Breen," suggests Data.

"Maybe," concedes Picard. "Timothy described helmets and phaser rifles and a boarding party."

"Boarding party seems unlikely," interjects La Forge. "There were no chemical or electrical traces of anyone else being on board."

Troi enters the bridge, and the conversation.

"Could he have been mistaken, or lying about a boarding party?" Picard asks her.

"Hard to say now," she admits. "I don't sense he was lying, but his emotional trauma is through the roof."

La Forge heads off to try more scans, and Troi asks Picard if she can have Data stay with Timothy.

Data is surprised.

"He trusts you, because you rescued him," she explains. "I'm worried about his behavior, but I think it will be beneficial to have you hang out with him."

Hoping Timothy might tell Data the whole story, Picard agrees.

"What should I do?" asks Data.

"Just hang out with him," says Troi. "He finds you comforting."

 Data goes to Timothy's assigned quarters to find that he's been allowed to take the model set with him. Timothy is attempting to build the model again, and Data correctly guesses which temple it is. Timothy is glad to see Data and cheerfully tells him about the different parts of the temple, courtesy of the teacher's instruction.

"What do you think?" asks Timothy.

Ack, NO.

Data opens his mouth, then pauses. He's encountered this before, and seems to know that when humans ask for an opinion, they don't always want an honest one. "Do you want an honest opinion?"
Timothy nods, but he doesn't really, because humans are complicated. They say they want an honest review, but they don't. 

Your emotionally delicate friend asks if you like a thing they made? You say you love it, regardless of how you actually feel. Your sister asks if you like her wedding dress? You love it. Your coworker tells you her baby name: YOU. LOVE. IT.

Timothy is too young and too emotionally raw to know that he doesn't actually want an honest opinion, so when Data starts to methodically tell him which parts are not correct, he dejectedly drops the remaining parts and slumps onto the couch behind him, declaring that Data hates the job he's done.

"I am not capable of hatred," Data corrects him.

Timothy tries again, but the pieces won't stay in place, and he is disappointed again. "I can't do anything right."

Data starts to help him, but La Forge pages him to Engineering. He starts to leave, then turns back and reassembles the model at super-human speed.

"How come you can do that?" Timothy asks.

"I'm designed to exceed human capacity."

"So you're better than humans?"

"That's really subjective. It's a feeling, and I don't have those," he explains. "I'm not capable of emotions."

"You don't feel happy... or sad?" asks Timothy.

"Correct." Data turns to leave again, and before he gets in the lift, Timothy calls out and asks if he will stop by again later, so they can build something else.

Data replies that this is acceptable.

Timothy goes back into his room, smiles at the model, then goes to his mirror. He mimics Data's speech patterns and head movements. "I am designed to exceed human capacity. That is correct."

Mildly worried music... commercial break.

There's a brief scene where the senior officers discuss going into the black cluster to see if they can find out more about what happened to the Vico. They're going to try the next day. Picard asks Troi if she has gotten any more info out of Timothy about what happened, and she tells him no, but that she has an appointment with him soon.

Troi goes to her appointment with Timothy 2.0. He's wearing a sweater that resembles Data's uniform, and he's dropped his contractions, and has adopted the head movements of everyone's favorite Soong son.

"You sound like Data," she laughs.

"I am an android," he replies.

To her credit, she rolls with the punches. "Cool, let's go for a walk."

They end up in Ten Forward, where Timothy tells a server that androids don't need to eat or drink, but that he will order something to taste it.

"How long have you been an android?" Troi asks him.

He replies that he's always been one, and while he slips in contractions, he continues with the head movements.

She asks him what it's like to be an android, and he repeats Data's assertions that he's designed to exceed human capabilities, but does not feel emotions.

There's a quick cut to the ready room.

"Whut?" asks Picard.

"Yeah, he's decided to be an android," Troi confirms. "It's called enantiodromia, which means "conversion into the opposite." He's basically suppressing his emotions by pretending that he wasn't designed to have any."

"So... what do we do about it?" Picard asks.

"Lean into it," she replies. "He's trying to figure out who he is, and he'll keep up the android thing as long as he needs to. When he feels safe to be himself without the android persona, he'll ditch it. It's not a good time to ask him about the Vico. In the meantime, I think we should go along with it."

Picard looks at Data. "Make him the android that he can be."

Data looks puzzled. Weirdest. Assignment. Evar.

Back in Timothy's quarters, Data is checking himself out in the mirror so he can do Timothy's hair the same way. But Timothy is doing his Data Head Movements, and Data asks him what he's doing. When Timothy explains, there's a moment of physical comedy where they're both doing it, Timothy because he's mimicking Data, and Data because he's pondering the implications of the movements.

"I didn't realize that that was so distracting," he admits.

He begins slicking back Timothy's hair with pomade.

"How come you're not captain?" Timothy asks.

"My service record does not warrant that rank."

Timothy pauses, and he drops the android act for a bit. "What's the scariest thing that's ever happened to you?"

"I do not experience fear."

"But what if you had a nightmare?"

"I do not have nightmares, because I do not require sleep." Data gets a clue. "Are you having nightmares?"

Timothy pauses. "I do not require sleep," he says quietly.

Data accompanies Timothy to sick bay for a check-up, and Crusher has clearly been clued in to the situation, because she tells him that all of his circuits are functioning within normal parameters.

As a side note, Dr Crusher has a great bedside manner with kids. In New Ground, she explained to Alexander which of his bones was broken. If I was a kid, I would absolutely be okay going to Crusher for medical stuff.

Later, Timothy and Data share a Bob Ross moment in Data's quarters. Timothy yawns while painting, and Data asks if he needs to go back to his quarters.

"I'm fine," Timothy insists. Then he thinks. "The servos in my mouth are designed to approximate human movements."

Lol, Timothy. You brilliant little shit.

Data pauses, then tries out the fakest-looking yawn ever. 

"That is not bad," Timothy compliments his friend.

Data asks Timothy if his painting represents anything, and Timothy says no, but you gotta guess that it probably does because it's rather... violent? aggressive? There's a lot of red and black, with jagged shapes.

Data, thinking that a little probing might be in order, reminds Timothy that he can talk to him about anything. He starts to tell the boy about how he sometimes worries about talking to his friends about specific things, because he isn't certain he's communicating in a way that humans will understand. But when he looks back at Timothy, he sees that his Mini Me has fallen asleep. He sets his palette down, then carefully carries Timothy to a couch.

Gentle music, commercial break.

.

It's time to enter the black cluster, and Data has been replaced on the bridge because he's playing How To Train Your Android. 

The E proceeds inside, and occasionally, the bridge crew rocks in unison to indicate that they are going through energy waves - little ones, but they're big enough to get past the shields.

"Crap, there's something off the starboard side," announces Worf. "No, wait - port bow. No, wait - starboard. WTF?"

Riker checks his own screen. "Sensors all over the place. Like, reflections? Seems like there's something there, but also not?"

Troi and Data are watching Timothy play with some other kids in the school room, but through that window that Troi was using before. Data is surprised to see Timothy laugh.

"He's back to being human," Data notes. "Is my work with him done?"

"I don't think so," says Troi. "I think he needs more of a push. Could you talk to him about your own interest in humans?"

We move to Ten Forward, where Data and Timothy are drinking synchronized smoothies. Timothy asks Data how his smoothie is, and Data replies that he can taste it, and analyze textures and how sweet things are, ect but he can't give an opinion, because that's a feeling, and he isn't designed for that.

"I often wonder about what it's like to have your mouth water in anticipation, or how it feels to enjoy food," Data admits. 

Timothy is surprised. "Sounds like you don't want to be an android."

"But I am," replies Data. "I can't change that."

"Do you wish that you weren't an android sometimes?" Timothy asks.

"Sometimes. I watch humans carefully to more accurately do as they do."

This answer makes Timothy grouchy. "But androids are smarter and stronger than humans."

"Sure, but I can't take pride in those things, or any of my accomplishments."

"But having emotions means you have to be sad sometimes," says Timothy. Definitely not a place he wants to go.

"Yeah, but I'd gladly take being sad sometimes if it meant I could enjoy my dessert," Data answers.

Back on the bridge, Worf has been asked to try the sensors in a bunch of different ways, but ends up calling them "useless" in frustration. Everything is being reflected back from the gravitational waves.

Picard calls Data to the bridge, and when he arrives, they try an experiment:

"Fire the phasers, full power."

They do, and the beam breaks up, forking in different directions in front of them.

"Data," says Picard thoughtfully, "would a disruptor beam do that in here?"

"Probably," Data replies.

"And how would a cloaking device work in this place?"

"Not very well."

"So what are the odds that a cloaked vessel could fire on the Vico in here with a disruptor weapon?"

"Not great."

Troi brings Timothy to the ready room to talk to Picard and Data.

"Explain to us again what happened," says Picard. "The tests we're running don't add up with what you described."

Timothy has dropped the android act. "We were attacked!" He's briefly angry.

"Androids don't lie," says Data gently.

There's a pause, then Timothy whispers, "It was me. I killed them all."

Dramatic music! Commercial break!

Timothy starts crying. "Everything was shaking, and I was trying to steady myself, and my arm hit the computer panel, and everything blew up. I'm sorry! I didn't mean to do it!"

"Oh. Timothy, that isn't possible," says Troi softly. "You couldn't have caused that by touching a computer panel. It was just a coincidence that the ship blew up when your arm touched that panel."

Together, they tell him that every panel needs to have a clearance code plugged in first to be activated, and simply touching a panel would have no affect on the Vico whatsoever.

"We're trying to figure out what actually happened," says Picard. "Can you remember anything else before the accident?"

There's another wave, and Timothy tearfully recalls the Vico rocking in this way as well.

On the bridge, Worf tells Riker that the wave intensity has increased. They increase shields.

Picard and the others come out of the ready room, and Picard tells the helm that he wants them to turn around and rocket out of there.

"I can't," says Helm. "It won't let me form a warp bubble." 

Timothy looks sharply at her.

Another wave rocks the ship, harder.

"No impulse power! Helm isn't responding!"

"We couldn't get out either," says Timothy.

"Um, let's go downstairs, get out of their way," suggests Troi.

"No!"

Riker asks La Forge in Engineering to get him more power to the shields, and Timothy tells Data that that's what they kept saying on the Vico: more shields.

Data pulls Timothy over to the science station at the back of the bridge, and asks him to recall everything they said on the Vico before the accident.

"Just more shields," Timothy insists.

Data begins typing in fast Data-fashion. Picard asks La Forge for more shields; there's another, bigger wave; more shields, more shields...

"I can divert power from the warp engines to the shields," La Forge says.

"They said that, too!" Timothy tells Data.

"Done!" says La Forge. "The shields can't get any stronger!"

"Drop the shields!" yells Data.

"The hell?" asks Riker.

Data addresses Picard directly with his most Serious Data Face: he is not fucking around.

"Make it so," Picard tells Worf.

Shields down, and instead of this

this happens

Everyone turns to stare at Data.

"Our shields were increasing the wave," he explains. "When Timothy told me he heard the Vico's crew calling for more shields, I plugged our shield strength into the computer with the wave amplification, and found that they correlated."

"Yikes," says Riker. "We dumped warp power into the shields. That wave would have blown us to bits."

"That's what happened to the Vico," Data agrees.

With no shields, the helm comes back online, and they are able to navigate out of the black cluster on impulse.

And back to the schoolroom, where the teacher is leading the kids in a round of "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" (a bit on the nose there, Star Trek). A sad-looking Timothy half-heartedly sings along while Troi and Data watch from behind the window. (Is Timothy not creeped out that they watch him all the time?)

"He's sad," remarks Troi, "but he's a human kid again."

When Data does not reply, she asks if he's finding it hard that Timothy doesn't want to be like him anymore.

"I... don't have the capacity to feel that?" he points out.

He goes into the schoolroom once the others clear out, and sits next to Timothy.

"How are you?" asks Timothy.

Data answers in typical Data fashion, then asks Timothy the same.

"I miss my parents, but I'm... okay," says Timothy. "You probably think it was silly that I was copying you."

"They tell me that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery," Data answers.

"Can we still be friends, even if I'm not an android?" Timothy asks earnestly.

"I have many human friends, and would be pleased to count you among them," Data replies.

Timothy does his best Data impression. "That would be acceptable."

And he smiles.

I like this one. It's a character-development story with a strong science-based B-plot that ties together nicely with the A-plot. Though it's not one that I frequently remember, it's a nice addition, and one where we see the script flipped on Data. He often tells humans how much he'd like to be like them, but here, someone wants to be like him. And it's nice to see Data helping someone navigate confusing feelings. You can see him thinking when Timothy presents a tough situation, and Data correctly chooses what to say next, not based on logic or what programming might choose, but knowledge that humans are not likely to make choices logically. He chooses poorly when Timothy asks for his opinion on the model, but this was after asking if the boy really wanted an honest opinion or not. He most likely filed this away as humans saying that they wanted an honest opinion when they didn't.

I liked the juxtaposition of Data and Timothy each coveting something that the other had: Data wanting emotions and Timothy wanting none, but Data pointing out that he was an android and could not change that fact probably helped Timothy to see that, as a human, he was going to have emotions whether he wanted them or not.

Overall, just a nice little episode. 

Fun Facts:

- The story about La Forge's traumatic childhood memory of the fire was originally meant to go into the script for the next episode, "Violations."

- It was during the filming of this episode that the crew learned of the death of Gene Roddenberry.

- Michael Piller felt that this season made better use of Troi as a counselor than previous seasons, and joked that he and Jeri Taylor were adding in more scenes for her like this because they were both in therapy.

- However, Joe Menosky had a love/hate relationship with Troi, and felt that having a counselor onboard the ship, as a senior officer, dated the show. (I feel like it doesn't, as therapy has come back around in a big way, and people relate to it more than ever. But that's me.)

- The landscape painting that Data is working on was made by special effects guy Dan Curry. The art department made a copy of the unfinished painting on a canvas, making it look as though Data was mid-way through the project.

- This is the second mention of the Breen onscreen. (They will not actually make an onscreen appearance until DS9.)

- La Forge tells Data that the fire incident occurred before he got his first VISOR, meaning that he's probably had several growing up.

- Brannon Braga listed this episode as his favorite of the "kid episodes."

- Michael Piller thought it was a "great premise" and "very entertaining," but not very memorable.

Red deaths: 0
To date: 1
Gold deaths: 0
To date: 0

Blue deaths: 0
To date: 0
Unnamed color crew deaths: 0
To date: 0

Sassy Geordi moments: 0

To date: 0

Sassy Ro Moments: 0
To date: 1

Sassy Worf Moment: 0
To date: 0

Sassy Riker Moments: 0
To date: 0

Sassy Picard Moments: 0
To date: 0 

Sassy NPC Moments: 0
To date: 0
Sassy Data Moments: 0
To date: 0
Sassy O'Brien Moments: 0
To date: 1

Sassy Keiko Moments: 0

To date: 3
Sassy Crusher Moments: 0
To date: 0
Sassy Troi Moments: 0
To date: 2
Sassy Guinan Moments: 0
To Date: 1
Sassy Guest Star Moments: 0
To date: 2

Number of times that it is mentioned that Data is an android: 7
To date: 31

Number of times that Troi reacts to someone else's feelings: 0
To date: 8

Number of times that Geordi "looks at something" with his VISOR: 0
To date: 0
Number of times when Data gives too much info and has to be told to shut up: 0
To date: 1
Picard Maneuvers: 1
To date: 4
Tea, Earl Grey: 1
To date: 3

Mentions of the number 47: 0

To date: 1

ST:TNG Season Four, Episode Twenty-Five "In Theory"

ST:TNG Season Four. Episode Twenty-Five "In Theory"
Production Order: 25
Air Order: 25
Stardate: 44932.3
Original Air Date: June 3, 1991

Picard's Log 44932.3: "We're going into this dark matter nebula - should be fun and not dangerous at all! Data is modifying a few photon torpedoes so we can shoot the nebula and get more info. Again, should be fun and not dangerous!"

Data and a Security Gold, Jenna D'Sora, are modifying a torpedo.
"You seem distracted today," Data notes. "Are you alright?"
Jenna admits that she ran into her ex in the lift, and he asked her to dinner. She relays that she told him she would consider it.
Data pauses, then reminds her that she asked him to tell her all of the reasons why she ended the relationship with this guy.
She rolls her eyes, but smiles. She did indeed ask Data to remind her about this shit, and he's being a good friend.
"He seemed unable to set aside time for you, never did "the little things," was unresponsive, you dislike the noises he makes when he eats soup -"
She cuts him off, thinking that she probably should have told her ex no.
Data states that this is the third time he has had to remind Jenna about why she shouldn't date this guy, and asks if she wants him to stop. She responds no, that's for her own good.

While they are working, he starts telling her about famous lovers in history. It's not uninteresting, but she asks how he was drawn to the subject.
"Six weeks ago, when you broke up with your boyfriend, I decided to look into romance as a form of human interaction."
Basically, he saw his friend was having a specific problem and researched the topic so he could help her.
Jenna is taken aback. She's probably used to her friends supporting her break-ups with sweatpants and pints of Ben & Jerry's ice cream, and declarations that the ex doesn't deserve her, anyway. Researching the history of romance is kind of out of left field.
"That was... sweet of you?"
Data calls the bridge to tell them the torpedoes are ready, enabling the show to go upstairs to the bridge.

Meanwhile, Riker is acting like a little kid with ten fingers and a box of fireworks. "Gonna light up a nebula!"
Worf fires off the torpedoes.
They land, and the nebula flickers a bit.
Downstairs, Jenna is impressed. "It's like watching fireworks when I was a kid."

Wonder-filled music! Opening credits break!

Jenna, Data, Keiko O'Brien. and two others are giving a woodwind concert in Ten Forward. Jenna seems kind of distracted when they take their bows, and when Data asks if she's okay, she worries that her tempo was off. He assures her that this is not the case. He cheers her up by telling her that the piece is hard, and they can work on timing next rehearsal, but he's pretty sure no one in the audience noticed.

Later, they share a table with the O'Briens. Keiko tells a story about her husband leaving his socks on the floor, and Miles seems less than thrilled that she's teasing him like this.
(Though seriously, you're an adult sharing a living space with another adult, Miles. If you don't want to be teased, pick up your fucking socks.)
Jenna breaks in to this "happy couple" story by telling her own awkward "happy couple" story with Data. Basically, he came over to her quarters to practice music and remarked about her sloppy housekeeping that she "seem(s) to have an aversion to orderliness." They all laugh. In the meantime, Jenna has moved in close to him, and keeps touching his arm.

Picard and Riker approach Data at the science station on the bridge. He tells them that he's gone over the info they got from their illumination tests of the nebula, and he thinks life may have developed there in ways they've never seen. There are also several M-class planets in the area, and Picard says they should check them out while working on the survey.

There's a weird little scene here that doesn't make a lot of sense unless you watch the episode a few times. Crusher is walking through sick bay, and stops to look at the floor behind her after hearing a clink sound. A piece of handheld equipment is on the floor. She picks it up and puts it back on the table with the others.
End of scene.

 Down in the torpedo bay, Data is working while Jenna sits reminiscing. Why she's not working is beyond me. Anyway, she's telling Data about hanging out with her mother and brother after her father died.
"I wish we could go back there, just you and me," she says.
"Yeah, time doesn't work that way?" he reminds her.
She laughs and starts talking about how she needs to find a higher-quality man, and why can't she get a guy like him, because he's perfect?
"That is not true. I have no human feelings."
She describes how he is a supportive friend (spends time with her when she's lonely, encourages her when she's down, notes that he's kind to her), then gets up to leave. After a moment's thought, she leans down and kisses him on the cheek.
"You're very handsome."
He considers this, then goes back to work. He's not picking up on her hints, so she kisses him full on the mouth.
"See you tomorrow." She's trying to be just the tiniest bit coy, without realizing that it's totally wasted here. She leaves.
Data pauses, considering, then returns to the task at hand.

Dramatic music! Commercial break!

Guinan is in an empty Ten Forward, making what looks like green milk. Data enters, and she asks for his opinion on this new drink. He gives her a breakdown of the contents, and she notes that he seems distracted.
"Lt D'Sora just kissed me pretty passionately in the torpedo bay," he admits.
He's piqued her interest. This is some good-ass tea.
Guinan asks what Data thinks of her.
He gives a performance review of her work ethic.
"Yeah, no," says Guinan. "How about personally?"
Data admits that he looks forward to their time together.
"Ball's in your court, then."
"Oh. I need advice on what to do."
She demurs. "You can't really give advice on a first romance. You have to figure it out for yourself."
"Hmm. Not really capable of love," he points out.
"Then I guess it'll get interesting."

Data is headed for his quarters when La Forge catches up with him, carrying Data's cat, Spot.
"Did the door on your quarters not close properly?" asks La Forge.
"No, it's closed," says Data. "And the doors are programmed to not open unless there's a humanoid in front of them. The door wouldn't have opened for Spot."
They go into Data's quarters and look around.
"Was anyone in here while you were out?" asks La Forge.
But nothing is out of place, and when asked, Majel says that no one has entered Data's quarters while he was gone.
La Forge suggests making a report with Security about a possible unauthorized entry and starts to leave, but Data calls him back.
"Should I start a relationship with Lt D'Sora?" he asks.
La Forge pauses. He asks about Jenna's ex, and Data confirms that that coupling is kaput. La Forge fumbles for a moment, then advises Data to asks someone who gives better advice.

What follows is a series of Data receiving advice from various crew members/friends. Troi counsels him to proceed with care, as Jenna is a person with feelings, rather than an experiment that Data is running. He decides that maybe he should study more, then write himself a program on how to act.
Worf does the whole, "Lt D'Sora is under my command, and if you were to hurt her feelings, I would be very... displeased." Then he remembers that Data outranks him, and adds, "sir" to the end of his threat.
Riker, being Riker, tells him to go for it.
Data tries to get some advice from Picard but

Data's Personal Log 44935.6: "Okay. Have decided to do the thing."

Data takes flowers to Jenna's quarters, which are just as messy as mentioned previously. She thanks him for the flowers, and he tells her that Riker had recommended them, as "they had worked for him in the past." He holds out his arms for a hug, but in a stiff, Data way.
Startled, she asks if he talked to the entire ship about them.
Data: "No. In actuality, less than one percent of the Enterprise crew was involved."
He then goes on to explain that a program like this required not only study, but consulting those who had experience with romantic relationships. He then sits on her couch, has Majel dim the lights, and holds out his arm without even doing the fake yawn-and-stretch.

"Um, this is a program?" Jenna has clearly never dated an android before.
"More than that." He explains that he has carefully created a program-within-a-program, a subroutine, just for her, into which he has put considerable care and time.
She sits and tells him that that's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to her, and I don't know if that's lovely, or really, really sad. He swings his arm up to embrace her within the other (really, it's like a roller coaster bar locking her into place so she won't fall out), then cocks his head to the side so he can kiss her.

Dramatic music! Commercial break!

Up on the bridge later, Data tells Picard and Riker that they'll be at that first class-M planet in 11 hours, and Picard is like "cool" before putting Riker in charge and going to his ready room. Because when you're captain, you can wait out 11 hours in your private office, playing Candy Crush on your phone while your second in command stares out the window from the Big Chair.
But there's a problem. All of Picard's desk tchotchkes are on the floor. He pages Worf into the ready room and asks that he bring a tricorder. So now they're both on the floor.
Worf relays that the tricorder isn't picking up any traces of anyone but Picard on this stuff, and Picard suggests that they have a poltergeist. Worf is confused by this word.
Do Russians not know the word "poltergeist"?
Picard explains it, and Worf gives him a raised Vulcan eyebrow. A mischievous ghost? As head of security, this is not a thing he can take seriously. He offers to go to red alert.
"Eh, too soon. It's just a bunch of crap on the floor."
"Post a security guard outside the door?" He's convinced that someone broke in.
"No, it's fine."

Data is painting in his quarters when Jenna comes over. He's surprised to see her because their date isn't until later, but she was too excited to wait, because she has a gift for him: a Lucite sculpture.
He asks if she's giving him this gift because she had said his quarters were too spartan. She admits that she is.
So you gave him a Lucite sculpture?
"I thought it might brighten things up."
It's... it's Lucite.
She asks what he thinks of it, and Data, being Data, gives a thorough run-down by art specifications.
Honey, have you not met your boyfriend?
Unsure of what to do, she sees that he was painting, and comments, "oh, don't let me interrupt."
"Cool," he replies, and picks up his palette.
She starts to leave, but then turns and tells him that the truth is, when your girlfriend comes by to give you a gift, you stop what you're doing and give her your attention.

Okay, that's on you, lady. You told him to go back to his painting. Which Data then spells back out for her: she's using human-isms to date someone who is not human. And while Data notes that he "has much to learn," the fact of the matter is, that Jenna could also bridge that gap by recognizing that not everyone will pick up on her clues. She could also alter her perspective so that Data isn't doing all of the heavy lifting here.
They decide to deal with the gift, and she tells Data that the best response here isn't a critical analysis of the piece itself.
"I should look for a place to display it?" he suggests.
He finds a corner when the light is good for "accentuating contours."
She makes a maybe not face.
He places it on a table, talking about how a centralizing location indicates how much the giver is appreciated.
"What's important is that you're trying," she says. "That means a lot to me."
Girl, you could be trying, too.
She suggests that he return to his painting and - yes, she really means it this time - then turns to leave. She blows him a kiss. He stiffly returns a blown kiss.
After exiting, she pauses in the corridor to consider the encounter she just had, then decides it was a good one and smiles, walking away.
Oh hey, it's the B-plot.

After 11 hours have elapsed, Riker calls Picard out of the ready room and back onto the bridge. (How... how long are those shifts?)
"So we reached the coordinates for that M-class planet," explains Riker, "but it isn't there."

Dramatic music! Commercial break!

They discuss it for a few minutes, and Data says he doesn't know why the planet isn't there, but all the info they got earlier said it would be there, so there was no reason for it not to be.
And then it reappears.
"WTF?" asks Picard.
"Hey," says Majel, "there's no air pressure in the Obs Lounge."
"Whut?" asks Picard.
"There's no hull breach or life-forms in the Obs Lounge," Worf reports.
"Everything is now fine in the Obs Lounge," says Data.
"WTF again?" Picard demands. "Okay, let's go look and see what this is about."
So Picard, Riker, Data and Worf all pile into the Obs Lounge with tricorders and find the furniture and plants of the room all in a jumble against a window.
"There's a weird electrical current in the transparent aluminum of this window," says Data. "Like, there was a subspace occurrence, but the scans show none."
"Well, that's fucking annoying," says Picard. "Okay, we're gonna stay here until we figure out what's going on."

So in this next scene, Data is running his romance program, and he's not acting like himself. I've never met Brent Spiner, or seen many videos of how he acts when he's just being himself, but the best way for me to describe Romance Program Data is to say that it's Brent Spiner playing Data playing Brent Spiner. He uses contractions and his speech is more fluid and filled with different tones.
It starts out with Data walking into Jenna's quarters with a toolbox that I guess is a stand-in for a briefcase, and he calls out "Honey, I'm home!"
Do they live together? He didn't ring the bell. Did she program the door to recognize him and just open on command?
She comes into frame and says "Hi." He matches her tone in a goofy way and also says "hi." He kisses her on the cheek. She asks in a casual way how his diagnostic went, and he tells her in Regular Data Voice that nothing turned up. She replies that security's sweep of the ship turned up nothing as well.

She sits and takes off her boots. Romance Program Data asks if he can get her a drink. Then he compliments her choice in an oily manner. RPD is not my favorite. He gets drinks for them both and she gives him a White People Smile. Why is Data acting like this? He asks her in a regular voice if he can get her some dinner, and when she declines, he reverts back to RPD and says "Whatever you wish, dear."
Then he toasts her in a weird combination of RPD voice, but Regular Data wording: "Darling, you remain as aesthetically pleasing as the first day we met. I believe I am the most fortunate sentient in this sector of the galaxy."
Then he tells her to relax while he takes care of everything. He kisses his fingertip and pushes it to her lips, which she kisses with some hesitation. The whole time, she's like

He then starts cleaning her quarters while singing opera. He goes into her room, and drops RPD altogether.
"Do you want me to organize your closet for you?" he asks in his regular voice. He starts an explanation about grouping together like colors.
She tells him that he doesn't have to clean her quarters, and still in Regular Mode, asks what she would like him to do (slipping in an awkward "dear"), and asks if he has not been complimenting her enough. He sits next to her and, switching to RPD, tells her that her hair is silky.
She tells him that he's being kind of... weird.
Regular Data Voice: "Am I not acting like a solicitous mate?"

Jenna: "No, you are. You're just acting strangely."
Romance Program Data: (angrily) "Perhaps there is something wrong with you!"
Jenna is surprised. "I've never seen you behave so foolishly. Why are you doing this?"
RPD:

Jenna: "What?"
Regular Data: "You are not my mother. That is the appropriate response for your statement that I am behaving foolishly."
Jenna asks him to leave, and he asks if she wants to continue their lovers' quarrel. In his research, he found that couples argue, and the aftermath brings them closer together.
"Oh," says Jenna, because what the hell else do you say to that? "It was kind of artificial though, not like the real you."
"I'm not capable of emotion," he reminds her. "In this case, there is no real me."
Jenna seems to decide to conduct her own experiment, and asks him to kiss her. Afterward, she asks what he was thinking. Along with rattling off a list of unrelated thing, he says "... the amount of pressure I could safely apply to your lips..."
"Glad I was in there somewhere?" she laughs nervously.

Up on the bridge, Picard meets with Data, Worf and Riker to go over what they've found: a bunch more weird incidents, but no damage or injury, and Data thinks he might be able to adjust the sensors to tell where these subspace anomalies are.
In the meantime, it's kind of like they're swimming in a pool of jellyfish, and Riker recommends that they move, and check out the nebula from outside of the danger zone.
Picard agrees and they make plans to leave, but an anomaly appears on Data's science station, and there's an explosive compression issue down near Engineering.

La Forge says the problem is between decks, and they're looking into it, but then there's an anomaly at a nearby station, and an electrical shock causes a Ops Gold to fly backward from the console. He's okay, but La Forge tells the bridge it was close. He's gonna take some people to check out the between-decks anomaly.
In the corridor, La Forge has the guy who almost bit the dust just now (Thorne), and another Gold (Van Mayter). He tells Van Mayter to go check out some ship part, and he begins assigning tasks to himself and Thorne as they walk away.
Van Mayter screams, and they go running back to her.
Y'ALL.

Dramatic music because WTF?! Commercial break!

Picard's Supplemental Log: "This weirdness has now caused the super fucked-up death of a crewmember. Data thinks he knows what's going on."

In the Obs Lounge, Data explains some hypotheses to Picard, Riker, La Forge and Worf. Basically, the jellyfish analogy is correct: the anomalies are phasing in and out of regular space, but they're all around, and also in motion. So when they come into contact with the Enterprise, that part of the ship phases in and out of space.
Data says he can reconfigure the sensors to detect when they're coming up on one. But only at super-close range. "The E isn't that maneuverable."
"A shuttle is," says Worf.
"Yeah, someone could pilot a shuttle in front of the E," suggests Riker.
"We could hook it up so the ship mirrors the controls of the shuttle, and we may be able to steer around them," La Forge offers.
"Make that shit so," says Picard.

They all go out onto the bridge (where Lt D'Sora is at Worf's station), and Riker and Picard briefly argue about who is going to pilot the shuttle: Picard says he's going to, Riker argues that it's his duty to protect Picard. In the end, Picard wins because he's the CO.

So they get everything set up: the shuttle controls the E's movements, the helm has sent over a nav course to the shuttle, and O'Brien has a lock on Picard in case things go pear-shaped. Picard starts out, and is able to dance around an anomaly. They're doing okay for a bit, but one of the anomalies brushes a nacelle on the shuttle, causing Picard to lose maneuverability. The nacelle is damaged, and Picard will have to steer manually, calling out the corrections, because they lost the link.
Not doing as well, and an anomaly appears on deck 15, with minimal damage. Picard is sweating now, and La Forge tells him that the damage to the shuttle is going to make things increasingly difficult.

 The shuttle is now spinning out of control. The immediate choice to beam Picard off is made by everyone simultaneously, but because he's spinning, O'Brien struggles to keep the lock.

Riker calls O'Brien, demanding to know if he got Picard. For the sake of building tension, it is a few moments before O'Brien answers in the affirmative. Data reports that they're pretty close to the edge of the nebula, and Riker tells the helm to gun it.
Picard enters the bridge.
"We're out of the nebula," Riker tells him.
"Great, let's get the fuck out of here," Picard answers.

And now, to wrap up the A-plot...
Data sets the table in his quarters for a quiet, romantic dinner. The lights are low, and he's lit a candle. Jenna comes in and makes note of the fact that he's decorated. She says "it looks great," a few too many times.
Data asks if she's distracted.
"Yeeeeaaahhh..."
She sits down to break up with him. She tells him that sometimes people make the same mistake over and over again, and she only recognized today that she had done it again: she got out of a relationship with someone she calls "unemotional," then jumped into a new relationship with someone who is literally incapable of having emotions. She figured Data being "kind and attentive" would be enough to make up for it.
"I don't really matter to you," she says.
That's not... true, though. Data's friends do matter to him.
"Nothing I can say or do can cause you to be happy or sad."
That one is true, and Data admits as much:

He notes that he isn't quite as human as he wants to be... yet. He still doesn't quite get it, and asks if she's ready to eat. She says no thank you and gets up to leave. Before she reaches the door, it clicks with him, and he asks if they are still a couple.
"No, sorry," she answers, clearly upset.
"Then I will delete the program," he says.
She sort of half-nods, tells him she'll see him around, then leaves.

Spot hops in Data's lap for some scritches, and Data blows out the candle. And hopefully moves that Lucite sculpture back to the corner with the better lighting.

This is a pretty good episode. Not the best ever, but pretty good. Data, in trying to learn more about something that has to do with humans, sets out to study it further, but his usual tried and true methods fall flat because it involves emotion, something that he just isn't capable of. They've tried this kind of story for Data before in "The Outrageous Okona," where Data attempts to understand comedy, and thank fuck this episode turned out better. It's not that he didn't try hard. It's that love and relationships are completely illogical, and you can't use the scientific method to get there. In the end, while Jenna seemed very upset that he could not make the leap to where he needed to be, Data didn't seem terribly bothered by it. He simply filed it away under "requires further study." This really sums up Data nicely - his life and thought processes are fairly simple because he does not have to think about how he feels about things. No shower thoughts to ruminate over, because he neither feels, nor showers. His programming is not yet up to the challenge.

Buuuut that brings me to other things. When I view each episode first to get a feel for it, I often have one overall feeling that tends to shift as I go over it again bit by bit. My first feeling toward this episode involved the idea that it was no one's fault that it didn't work out. And that's still kind of true. There were some underlying issues, of course - Jenna not realizing that she tended to repeat bad dating habits, and Data not fully understanding the depth of emotions involved in romantic relationships, and that they cannot just be copy-pasted in artificially. But when I went back and combed through it all, I noticed that Jenna took it for granted that Data needed to do all of the learning and adjustments to her. She did not adjust how she did things or how she spoke in order to communicate with him. She used idioms that he didn't catch, and body language he didn't pick up on, and she played tiny games that humans sometimes know, but which androids would not. (How many people know that when a person says "don't let me interrupt," that you should stop what you're doing and focus on them? They've told you, point-blank, not to stop.) If Jenna isn't adjusting to her partner, is she really giving her fair share? Data checks in with her (in weird ways), but he most definitely checks in. Janna only does once - she asks if he found the solution behind the weird occurrences. Work stuff, only mildly personal. Not even "how was your day?"

The thing that really gets me here is that Data completely changed himself for the relationship - a giant red flag. He had no way of knowing that unless he went back to Troi, but the flags existed nonetheless. Janna noticed in a roundabout way, because the person Data became with the Romance Program was completely different to the guy she asked out. But had his program made him far more subtle, would she have noticed? I don't know.
I don't mean to get down on Janna here. She seems like a perfectly lovely human who has flaws and needs to examine what she needs from a relationship and how to give back to a partner. But I'm not sure she knew what to expect from an android boyfriend. Probably not what she got.

One thing I've never thought about before this episode - do Data's friends and coworkers ever treat him like a smart phone (lol, Android)? Jenna asked Data to remind her of why she broke up with her ex, which he does repeatedly in the service of being a better friend. We all ask friends to do this sort of thing for us from time to time, but here we have a walking, talking reminder machine, and I have to wonder... do people in Data's life take advantage of this, for better or worse? Could some forgetful person ask tell Data their to-do list, and then ask him to recall it later? Like, that could get rude. And Data, being a good guy, wouldn't think twice about it. He would never realize that he was being taken advantage of, until some well-meaning person pointed it out.

And now, a weird continuity complaint: Data tells Riker and Picard that it will be eleven hours until they reach the coordinates for that class-M planet. Picard goes to his ready room and leaves Riker in charge. The Enterprise-D runs on three 8-hour duty shifts for a 24-hour Earth day, so they should arrive at the planet three hours after the duty shift has ended, right? But when eleven hours have elapsed, they are all still on duty. You could say that Picard and Riker, being the CO and XO, could be called onto the bridge when they arrived post-duty shift, but Data was still on the bridge, Worf was still at his station, and Ensign McKnight was still at the conn. Why were they still on shift? Writer oversight? They could have chosen a much shorter length of time between their starting point and those coordinates to make it so the start point and arrival fell in the same shift. Bonus continuity weirdness: Data is shown painting in his quarters between the starting point and arrival. Was he on lunch break? It seems like at first his shift had ended, and he was painting after work, but then he's shown on the bridge at his station again at the end of that eleven-hour stretch, so a lunch break seems like the only logical answer here. Memory Alpha states that the scene where he goes to Jenna's quarters and acts weird is post-shift for him, and not enough time had elapsed for him to have worked another shift entirely. (I know that technically, he has stated that he wouldn't ever need to leave his station, as he has no biological needs like eating or sleeping or using the facilities, but McKnight and Worf both have those needs, so it's not a case of Data just working every shift.)

- Fun Facts:

- The writers wanted this episode just to be a straight character study of Data, but the formula for TNG is A Plot + B Plot, which means that they needed a B Plot. They came up with the subspace anomaly, but they all hated it, and felt that it didn't really need to be there. The idea behind A Plot + B Plot was that, even when you were with one plot, you would be wondering what else was going on inside this huge ship. While this device works well for some episodes, such as "The Mind's Eye" where the B Plot turned out to be an extension of the A Plot, with "In Theory," it really only served to hamstring the A plot.
- This episode marks Patrick Stewart's directorial debut. The directors get assigned episodes in lots, and Stewart was glad that this was a nice, simple story without a lot of large Klingon sets or political intrigue. He spent time talking to Jonathan Frakes and Edward R Brown, the show's original cinematographer, in preparation.

- Frakes felt that it was lucky that Stewart's first directing job featured Brent Spiner in the leading role, as he considers Spiner an excellent actor. Three of Stewart's first five episodes directed featured Spiner as the lead.
- Stewart: "I was a virgin then. Those seven days that I worked on "In Theory" were seven of the most exciting days of my career. They were so intense."
- Data uses several contractions when talking to Jenna after their relationship has begun, suggesting that he purposefully wrote them into the Relationship program, possibly as a kind of script. When arguing with Jenna, he yells, "You're not my mother!" When she is confused, he seems to drop out of the Lovers' Quarrel program and restates in his normal voice, "You are not my mother."
- This is the last episode where Spot is a Somali cat. Going forward, Spot will be an orange tabby.

- Data mentions that the windows in the Obs Lounge are made of transparent aluminum. This is the same material that Montgomery Scott used as a bargaining chip in The One With The Whales.
- This is the only time we see the inside of the Enterprise-D torpedo bay.
- Stewart named this episode as his favorite of the series.
- Writer Ronald D Moore felt that the A plot of this episode didn't get enough credit.
- The woodwind quintet that Data and Jenna perform in is Anton Reicha's Wind Quintet in E-Flat Major.
- The song Data sings while cleaning Jenna's quarters is from La Boheme.



Red deaths: 0
To date: 0
Gold deaths: 1
To date: 1

Blue deaths: 0
To date: 1
Unnamed color crew deaths: 0
To date: 11,000

Obnoxious Wes moments: 0
To date: 1

Legitimate Wes moments when he should have told someone to go fuck themselves: 0
To date: 0

Sassy Geordi moments: 1
To date: 9

Sassy Wes Moments: 0
To date: 0

Sassy Worf Moment: 1
To date: 5

Sassy Riker Moments: 0
To date: 7

Sassy Picard Moments: 3
To date: 15

Sassy NPC Moments: 0
To date: 1
Sassy Data Moments: 0
To date: 2
Sassy O'Brien Moments: 0
To date: 0
Sassy Crusher Moments: 0
To date: 3
Sassy Troi Moments: 0
To date: 7
Sassy Guest Star Moments: 0
To date: 5

Number of times that it is mentioned that Data is an android: 10
To date: 33

Number of times that Troi reacts to someone else's feelings: 0
To date: 19

Number of times that Geordi "looks at something" with his VISOR: 0
To date: 10
Number of times when Data gives too much info and has to be told to shut up: 1
To date: 2
Picard Maneuvers: 3
To date: 22
Tea, Earl Grey: 0
To date: 11

Baby girl Ange got adopted!