ST:TNG Season Four, Episode Eleven "Data's Day"

ST:TNG Season Four, Episode Eleven "Data's Day"
Production Order: 11
Air Order: 11
Stardate: 44390.1
Original Air Date: January 7, 1991

Data's Log 44390.1: "Here's an epistolary entry that gives exposition. Basically, I'm writing a letter to Bruce Maddox at the Daystrom Institute because he needs info on my programming, and he wants to know how I deal with friendship. So this episode will be about me, told by me, to Maddox."

Data, you are a much nicer person than I am. I realize that you have questions about your own origins and are eager to learn more about yourself through Starfleet Cybernetics, but holy shit, guy. Bruce Maddox tried to declare you property of Starfleet in order to take you apart, like some kind of AI Green River Killer. If someone tried to do that to me, I'd tell them to get fucked, not help them with their research. (Though I can't deny that Data giving Maddox information means greater odds that Maddox will not try to disassemble him again - and could be a move of self-preservation - it doesn't mean that Maddox is not a huge asshole.)

Riker enters the bridge to relieve Data, and they talk about Data being "father of the bride."

Did... did I miss something? Did they bring back Lal?

Data exposition: "Friendships are tough. Emotions are tough. So I switched up my programming to try to predict how humans will act."

Sounds like some hijinks will ensue when the program predicts one thing and the humans do another.

He leaves the bridge.

We meet Keiko, the woman who will marry Chief O'Brien, and I'm pretty excited about this because I like both Keiko and O'Brien, and this means we'll get to see more of them going forward. Interesting that they pushed the story forward like that for the sake of one episode, though.

"We need a wedding for Data to be a part of. Who should get married? Should we do like Balance of Terror and make up two characters who will get married, or should we marry off a minor character?"
"How about O'Brien? We never see that guy, so we can make major life changes to his character, and no one will complain."
"Okay, cool. And because this is Star Trek, we should make her POC to remind the audience that in the future, humans are not assholes who object to interracial marriages. Also, let's make her a badass."
"Okay, I'm down. Data can play the role of Father of the Bride."

Keiko tells Data that she wants to cancel the wedding. She feels like she should be happy, but instead she's pretty sure she's Atlas.
"Would canceling make you happy?" he asks.
She thinks, then affirms it would. "Since you guys are good friends and you introduced us, would you tell Miles?"
Keiko, breaking up via Android is cowardly.
But Data doesn't know that, so he agrees to do it.

Slightly dramatic music!

Data goes to Ten Forward, where the wedding is being set up.
Data voice-over: "Chief O'Brien says he just wants to make Keiko happy, so by default logic, this will make him happy as well."

Sometimes I want to hug Data and say "d'awwww" at his naivete. Data, you poor clueless bb.

He walks up to O'Brien and Geordi and announces that Keiko has made a decision "designed to increase her happiness."
"She's canceled the wedding."
"WTF?" yells O'Brien. He storms out.
Sassy Geordi Moment: "Maybe next time, I should deliver the good news."

Data VO: "Well, shit."

Worrying music! Opening credits break!

DVO: "Here's some stuff happening on the ship today: birthdays and anniversaries and promotions and Ambassador T'Pel is coming aboard."

Data goes to the transporter room. There's another person running the transporter because hello! O'Brien took the day off. To be sad now, I guess.
Anyway, she beams T'Pel on board. And I hate everything T'pel is wearing.
Data greets her, and she immediately tells him that she wants to see Picard.
Damn, not even a "thank you" or a "nice to be on board." Ruuuude.
Then she just goes around him and out the door.

Ugliest crayon in the Crayola box

DVO: "I guess not having emotions makes me more like Vulcans than humans, but I'm not really into their shit, you know?"

Data escorts T'Pel into the ready room, where Picard introduces her to Riker.
"Everybody GTFO," she announces.
Data and Riker leave.
Sassy Riker Moment: "Charming woman."
DVO: "I think Riker is being sarcastic. Sarcasm is hard."
Data gets in the lift.
He goes to the ship's barbershop, where Geordi is having a friendly argument with the barber V'Sal about the haircut that V'Sal gave him last week.
Sassy NPC Moment from V'sal: "I'm a barber, not a miracle worker."
DVO: "Also, good-natured ribbing is hard. Also also, Geordi is my best friend."
"Here for a trim?" Geordi asks Data.
"My hair does not require trimming, you lunkhead."
"WTH?" asks Geordi.
"I'm trying light insults and goofing off with friends," says Data.
They agree that this needs work. Then they talk about Data's failed attempt to talk to O'Brien about calling off the wedding. Geordi assures Data that Keiko just has cold feet, and they'll still probably get married.

DVO: "Worf and I are kind of alike because we were both rescued by humans, and live like outsiders in human society."

Data rolls into a room that has, I dunno, replicators in it? I guess you can go shopping here, because a pair of Blues in the background replicate a rabbit plushy and give it to a small kid they have with them.
Worf is flipping through a digital catalog of stuff he can replicate, and Data asks him for help getting a gift for Miles and Keiko. They talk about how Worf has been to a bunch of human weddings, and he knows what to get as a gift.
As a small aside, I'm not really sure why wedding gifts survived into a century where there is no money and you can get anything you want in the replicator room. The (soon-to-be) O'Briens didn't register for anything, as far as I can tell. Sooo, they're gonna get five toasters and have no place to store them in crew quarters. In addition to the one they already had, because when they needed toast, they replicated a toaster.
Worf gets to the tchotchke section and says his parents give shit like this at weddings. He stops at some crystal swan thing.
"I heard that the gift you give should reflect your personality. This swan thing doesn't say Worf."
They exchange a weird look, like Are we shopping for wedding gifts on this space show?

Data asks if Worf has ever been in a human wedding, and Worf says he has not, and he's kind of glad because those kinds of occasions include a lot of talking and dancing and crying. Not really Worf's thing.
Data realizes that he doesn't know how to dance.

He goes to sick bay.
Crusher is checking out a pregnant woman named Juarez who is in labor, and she stops to find out what Data wants.
"Can you give me dancing lessons?" he asks.
Crusher is kind of appalled, and she yanks him back into her office. "WHAT?"
Data explains that he saw in her service record that she took first place in a tap and jazz dance contest quite a while ago, and he needs lessons.
She balks, saying that she doesn't want to be known as the "Dancing Doctor" again, but agrees to meet him later to teach him how to dance.

Data gets paged to the bridge.
"I want you to look for ships along the Neutral Zone," says Picard.
"Anywhere specific?" asks Data.
Picard glances at Ambassador Hat, who shakes her head. Picard and the ambassador disappear into the ready room, but not before Picard asks Riker to suddenly change course and go in real close to the Neutral Zone.

DVO: "If I were a human, I would be nervous about going that close to the NZ."

Dramatic music! Commercial break!

Data goes into the ready room to report his findings to Picard and the ambassador. He tells them that the Romulans have ships near the border of the NZ, and that their policy is in place to be aggressive to the Federation.
"Do you think that will continue?" asks Picard.
"Well... yeah," replies Data.
Picard and Ambassador Poorly-Dressed exchange glances, and Data is dismissed.

Data goes back to his quarters and orders cat food from the replicator.
Spot! Welcome to the show!

There's the door chime, and it's O'Brien, who seems nervous.

DVO: "When one of my friends is troubled, I try to make them comfortable."
Data spends a good deal of this scene offering O'Brien all the accouterments of a great nap: refreshments, a comfy chair, soft music, a pillow.
O'Brien refuses, and instead apologizes for shooting the messenger this morning. Data assures him that they're good, and O'Brien hesitantly asks Data to talk to Keiko for him.
"What about Counselor Troi?" asks Data.
"Yeah, she talked to Troi. She's still not going through with it. And she won't talk to me. You've worked with her for a while, she trusts you. Convince her to get married today."
Data is hesitant, and then offers: "I'll talk to her. Maybe she hasn't fully analyzed the situation."

DVO: "Keiko is pretty rational. That should make our convo easier."

Keiko is not open to Data's suggestion that she hasn't analyzed the situation fully, though.
"WTH, Data? I made a decision, and I'm sticking with it. Why are you bringing this up?"
"I'm just saying," says Data, "that you said canceling the wedding will make you happy. But you don't seem happy."
"Not that simple," she says, agitated.
"I think you may have unintentionally hurt Chief O'Brien's feelings."
"Ugh, go the fuck away, Data!"
And she storms out of the arboretum.

DVO: "Gonna go see Counselor Troi. She's the friend I understand the least because she deals in nothing but emotions, and I have none."

Data expresses confusion to Troi that O'Brien and Keiko have talked to their friends, but not each other. She laughs and tells him that the best way to help his friends is to stay out of it.
He replies that he wants to stand with his friends in their time of need, which is why he's been researching what makes a marriage work. But he's been pulling from tons of different alien cultures, and there won't be a lot of overlapping suggestions there.
Troi tells him that Keiko and O'Brien love each other and everything, but sometimes that isn't enough to make two people want to grow old together.
He latches onto that last bit and ponders it.
"I've often thought about eventually getting married myself - I think I have a lot of things to offer a mate - but I can't grow old with them."
Troi feels bad because she hadn't considered that he might want to get married some day. She gives him a hug and tells him that yes, he does have a lot to offer a mate.
Ambassador Hat pages him to her quarters.

He gets to her quarters and ugh, she's taken off that awful hat, but now she's just wearing that skull cap thing that was underneath. It's got like... a faux hawk.

It reminds me of Urgl from Neverending Story.

When Data arrives she checks that he has level three clearance in Starfleet, then tells him she wants info on the E's defense and navigational systems. Then she rattles off her own clearance code.
"Okay, cool, that code is valid," he says, "but if I give you that info, I'll have to tell Captain Picard."
"Why?"
"Because the ship's computer and I have the same fail-safe programs in place. Accessing that info means alerting Picard."
"Oh. I don't actually want the info. I was just checking your security safeguards. They're fine."
You fucking liar. I trust you about as much as I trust your fashion sense.
Data leaves.
DVO: "Kinda wish I had intuition. Vulcans aren't able to lie, so I have to take T'Pel's explanation at face value, which seems sketch."

Dramatic music! Commercial break!

Data goes to the holodeck for his dance lesson. Crusher has programmed in a dance studio, and apparently told Data to wear taps, because she immediately shows him some tap basics. After he gets one step down, he advises her to skip to the end. She seems a bit put out, but does so. He gets it perfect the first time.
"You say you've never done this before?" she asks.
Android, girlfriend. Android.
In fact, she demonstrates several complicated steps, and he matches her and keeps going each time. She has to keep telling him to stop.

You can tell she's frustrated because it took her years to get this down, and Data does it perfectly after watching her for a few seconds. I'd be miffed, too.
"So I can dance now?" Data asks an out-of-breath Crusher.
"You have the basics," she nods.
"Great. Now I can dance at the wedding."
He starts to leave, but she stops him. "Hold up there, tiger. You didn't tell me this was for the wedding. Peeps don't tap at a wedding."
"Why?"
"...I don't really know."
She tries to teach him what looks like a box step, but he keeps stepping all over her feet, and can't figure out that she's trying to lead.
"I can't see your feet," he explains, when she complains that he was a great tap-dancer.
He starts to get it down, and she has him lead.
"Look into my eyes and smile."
Ugh, no. Never tell Data to smile. That shit is terrifying.
Crusher gets called back to sick bay, because Lt Juarez is almost ready to push, and Data programs in a female dance partner to continue practicing.

No. That's terrifying. Stop that.

Data reports to the bridge, musing on the idea that humor and sex are linked in the minds of humans.
Picard and T'Pel enter the bridge as well, because they've reached the coordinates that Picard specified.
"There's a Romulan warbird nearby," says Data.
Picard calls for yellow alert, and T'Pel gives him a suspicious look, but she doesn't stop him. Because the Federation and Romulan Empire are enemies, you can't expect anything less than caution.
Worf hails the warbird, but they respond with text only, because that isn't sketchy at all. The text says the E should go to the agreed-upon coordinates. Worf lets them know when they are in phaser range, and Picard tells them to go to red alert.
This time, T'Pel looks at Picard in shock.
"I trust my crew not to be aggressive," he tells her.
She panics a bit and types new coordinates into Data's panel. "Go there."
When they arrive, she orders Worf to open the channel. Worf is less than pleased taking orders from T'Pel.

A Romulan comes onscreen. Immediately, he's all, "I see your weapons are powered up."
"Yeah, I see yours are, too," says Picard warily.
"Not a threat," says the Romulan breezily. "I salute your show of power."
Ew, dick-measuring.
T'Pel introduces herself to him, and he says his name is Admiral Mendek. There isn't protocol for this kind of meeting, so she suggests that she should just beam over to his ship and start talks.
After they sign off, Picard implores her to reconsider beaming over, saying that they could easily host the Roms with little or no change in security.
"That's illogical," barks T'Pel.
Kind of hate her. Vulcans are stoic and have a dry wit, but she's just a jerk.
She gets in the lift to go to the transporter room.

Picard calls the transporter room, and surprisingly, O'Brien answers. Did he pick up a shift because Keiko canceled the wedding? Or did he really not take the day off?
Anyway, Picard tells him to beam T'Pel over, then he turns and tells Worf to keep a lock on T'Pel, and if anything goes sideways, to beam her back.
Worf and O'Brien walk them through the beam over, and an alarm sounds.
"Losing her pattern!" yells O'Brien.
They try to boost shit, but finally O'Brien apologizes. The ambassador is dead.

Dramatic music! Zoom-in on Picard! Commercial break!

Data's Log, supplemental: "Death is a thing you have to accept when you live on a starship, but when it happens, everyone is emotional but me. Sometimes that sucks."

All of the senior officers are doing CSI: Space on the transporter pad. O'Brien tells Picard everything was fine until it wasn't. Data says that nothing like this has occurred aboard a starship, because there are so many fail-safes in place to prevent it. Geordi reports that there's nothing wrong with the unit.
"We just serviced it and replaced some parts last week," says O'Brien.
Picard orders a level-one diagnostic done on all of the transporters. "Was there interference from the Romulans?"
"Not that we can tell," says O'Brien.
What a shit day for him. Wedding hangs in the balance, and now someone has died on his transporter pad, on his watch.
Crusher comes forward to say that there's a bit of organic material left on the pad, but not enough for an autopsy. T'Pel basically disintegrated as soon as the pattern was lost.
Picard laments that this was a crappy way for a celebrated ambassador to die.
Worf pages Picard and tells him that Mendek is calling and wants to talk to him.

Picard reluctantly picks up the call.
"Where the hell is T'Pel?" asks Mendek.
"She was killed just now, in a transporter accident. We're investigating -"
"Ugh, fuck the Federation," says Mendek. "You guys aren't interested in this conference at all. You don't like the idea of normalizing relations with the Romulan Empire, so you made it look like an accident occurred to kill the ambassador. How very Romulan of you."
OMG, eyeroll at the immediate conspiracy theory. Romulans are exhausting.
"No way," says Picard. "I'll negotiate the contract under the same terms as T'Pel."
"Yeah. We were only willing to work with T'Pel. I suggest we both leave the Neutral Zone before another "accident" happens."
Fuck this guy.
He signs off and flies away.

Picard tells navigation to go back to Federation space and angrily assigns Data to get to the bottom of the transporter accident.
Data leaves the bridge, and we get a montage of him doing studious things in Engineering with Geordi, and running transporter tests with O'Brien. The whole thing is done to a voice-over of Data talking about Sherlock Holmes.   

Data goes to sick bay, and asks Crusher if he can see T'Pel's remains. Crusher is working on the report now, and he asks if she's compared the genetic code in the remains with her last transporter trace.     

 

Data, you're my favorite.
She humors him, and runs the test. The samples appear to be the same, but there's something weird. "Looks like replicated material?"

Dramatic music! Commercial break!

Data reports his findings to Geordi, Picard and Riker in the ready room.
"I think they beamed the ambassador off our own pad while simultaneously beaming replicated material onto the pad."
"That's fucked up," says Picard. "Hey Worf, where are the Romulans?"
"In the Neutral Zone, heading for home," replies Worf.
DVO: "The right course of action here is to alert Starfleet and await instructions, but I doubt the captain will do that."
"Let's go fuckin' get 'em," announces Picard.
Everyone flies into action, and they warp back to the NZ.

They catch up to the Roms pretty quickly, and Mendek drops out of warp, turning his ship with weapons drawn.
Mendek calls to remind Picard that he agreed to leave the NZ, but Picard interrupts him.
"Cut the crap," says Picard. "You kidnapped our ambassador."
"Nobody kidnapped anybody," growls Mendek.
And another warbird decloaks nearby.
"You won't start an incident," guesses Mendek.
"If you kidnapped one of our citizens, this is the hill I will die on," replies Picard.
Data does some voice-over about bluffing and poker while Mendek and Picard size each other up.
"I'm not willing to start a war today," Mendek finally answers. He gestures to someone off-screen, and here comes someone familiar.
"T'Pel," says Riker.
"Yeah, I'm Subcommander Selok," replies the person we knew as T'Pel.
"A fucking spy," mutters Picard.

"Thanks for the ride," laughs Selok.
"Maybe you should leave," says Mendek smugly, cutting the transmission.
"Three more warbirds approaching," announces Worf.
"Sometimes you get the bear," says Riker. "And sometimes the bear gets you."
"Ugh, let's GTFO," says Picard.
They turn and head back to Federation space.

That's a pretty sweet shot.

Data goes back to the arboretum to find Keiko.
"I offended you, and I need to know how to fix that," he says.
She laughs. "You didn't offend me. You need to get dressed for my wedding. I have the perfect carnation for you."

We go straight to the wedding. Data walks Keiko up the aisle in Ten Forward, she and O'Brien drink from a cup, and Picard starts the ceremony.
DVO: "I don't get a lot of human emotions, but I do understand the desire to be loved."
Keiko and O'Brien kiss, and friends rush forward to congratulate them.
Data does a non-tap dance with Keiko, and fortunately, he does not smile.

                                                                       
Data goes to sick bay to see Dr Crusher, and instead, he encounters Picard watching the new Juarez baby.
"While we were facing destruction, this small miracle was taking place," says Picard, a bit sentimentally. "Welcome aboard," he tells the baby.

We finish up with a changing of the guard. Data enters the bridge, and Worf relays everything that has happened during the previous shift. Data then relieves him of duty and sits in The Big Chair to start the third shift.
DVO: "I think being human is not being born flesh and blood, but thinking, feeling, and acting. And if that is the case, I may find my humanity. Until then, I'll keep striving for it."

I really like this episode. It's light-hearted and I like it when they toss in scenes of the crew just going about their days. Also, again, I like the O'Briens and the fact that they'll be appearing more often is awesome.
I didn't even mind the B-plot with the freaking Romulans. You probably know by now that the Roms are not my favorites because they talk a big talk and do little to no walking, but here it's revealed that Selok played the long con, probably posing as T'Pel for a good deal of time, at least enough to earn Federation-wide admiration. That's some straight Cold War shit right there, and it's ballsy. What's more, she hitched a ride on the flagship of Starfleet and convinced the Federation (at least for a little while) that she had died in a transporter accident. No need to go looking for her, because she was supposedly dead at the hands of her own group of people. Mendek's conspiracy theory that the Federation manufactured the accident on purpose was annoying, but that might just be me. I have no patience for conspiracy theories these days. Either way, that was bullshit on his part as well.

There were some nice callbacks in this episode. Data has clearly been corresponding with Maddox, as he referred to past "letters" sent, and again, he's nicer than I am, but at the end of "Measure of a Man," he does encourage Maddox to keep up his research and offers the a-hole insight on request. There is an allusion to the fact that Gates McFadden was a choreographer before working on Star Trek. They mention Lt Juarez being in labor several times throughout the episode before showing her baby at the end. The speech that Picard gives at the end of this episode mirrors the one that Kirk makes at the beginning of "Balance of Terror." Data talks about his love of Sherlock Holmes stories, and the detective's method of deduction. V'Sal's reworking of Bones McCoy's iconic line "I'm a doctor, not a ________."
It's lovely to see things from Data's POV, and how he interacts with people on this ship. We're much more likely to see things the way Picard sees them, or as the ensemble sees them, rather than one person strictly moving around in the space, going about their day.

Something I find interesting that didn't really fit in any other place in this review: the lights on the bridge are dimmed for third shift (overnight), then brightened for day shift. Is... is that necessary? I mean, I know that the lights are dimmed and red lights are used on submarines in order to be able to see the equipment properly and to not ruin the eyesight of the crew. And maybe the third shift on Navy ships dims the lights for this purpose on the bridge, but... no matter what time it is in space, it is always night. There is no technical day. It's all just a construct, a perception. One still has Circadian Rhythms, yes, but what if there is no actual lighted time outside to tell you when to be tired or awake? The closest answer I could get would be from asking people on the International Space Station - do they have times when "daytime" does not correspond to when the sunlight hits the station? Technically, time is relative on the Enterprise, anyway - being in closer proximity to another sun would not automatically make it daytime, regardless of the time being kept on the ship. And different planets will have different lengths of time that make up a solar day cycle, so they're technically keeping Terran time on the ship. They'd have to - only counting days when they are in close proximity to a sun would throw off their sleep cycles, and they'd lose their minds.
So... are they dimming the lights for third shift based on old traditions of working graveyard shifts, where it really has no other meaning? Or does the body actually react in such a way to brighter lighting during those hours that it is necessary to dim them?



- Fun Facts:

- Like "Balance of Terror," this episode involves a run-in with Romulans and a wedding.
- Doing "a day in the life of" episode had been bandied about since the third season. Suggestions for who to focus on included Picard and the ship itself. They eventually chose Data because "he's the only one who is up for 24 hours." Pillar and Berman insisted on a running story arc, so the Romulan spy plot was added.
- The story does indeed cover a full cycle, as it begins with Data completing the third shift on the bridge, and begins with his starting a new third shift.
- A wedding had also been considered for quite some time, and once they settled on O'Brien, the original idea was to marry him to Allenby, the ensign who replaced Wes at navigation. But Pillar thought that might make him a supporting character, and didn't like the idea. So they went with Keiko.
- Brent Spiner and Gates McFadden did their own dancing in this episode, with the exception of the overhead shot. Spiner requested a double, because he didn't feel confident enough in his dancing for that shot. Spiner and McFadden also developed the dialogue for the dancing scene.
- The events with "T'Pel" will come up in a later episode.
- This is the first appearance of both Keiko, and Spot.
- First appearance of the arboretum, the barbershop, the nursery, and the replication center.
- The name of the barber, V'Sal, was not mentioned in this episode, and the Star Trek Encyclopedia thought that he and another Bolian barber, Mot, were the same person, but this barbershop simply employs two Bolians.
- In the barbershop, there is another officer getting their hair dyed in the background. The wand used for the dying is usually seen in Engineering, as a tool.
- The replicating center is a redress of the Enterprise bridge from the first three movies.
- The actual timing of this episode is a bit goofy. Data states both that this date is the 1550th day since the E was commissioned; and that the Hindu Festival of Lights is being celebrated. The Duwali Festival takes place in October, but Data's date count would put the commission of the E in July. The The Next Gen Technical Manual says October, however. Using Data's date count would put the wedding on January 1st of 2368.
- Picard's wedding speech would later form the basis for another on DS9.
- Technically, a ship's captain could not marry couples unless the captain was also a notary public, and the honor was bestowed upon them (it wasn't for every Navy). Many Navies simply included notary public licenses along with ship mastery certifications.
- Sometimes the lines on the transporter pad are inconsistent in this episode. This is because they were redressing the transporter room set to use in movie #6.
- Though the lights are shown dimmed in scenes in other episodes, this is the first time the overnight shift is correlated to the dimmed lights.
- We'll see Alan Scarfe (Medek) as another Romulan in the sixth season, and later as a different alien on Voyager.
- I was today years old when I learned that the lionfish in the ready room is named Livingston, was named after producer David Livingston, and that Patrick Stewart thought that a captain in Starfleet would not approve of keeping an animal captive.

Red deaths: 0
To date: 0
Gold deaths: 0
To date: 0.

Blue deaths: 0
To date: 0
Unnamed color crew deaths: 0
To date: 11,000

Obnoxious Wes moments: 0
To date: 1

Legitimate Wes moments when he should have told someone to go fuck themselves: 0
To date: 0

Sassy Geordi moments: 1
To date: 2

Sassy Wes Moments: 0
To date: 1

Sassy Worf Moment: 0
To date: 2

Sassy Riker Moments: 1
To date: 6

Sassy Picard Moments: 0
To date: 5

Sassy NPC Moments: 1
To date: 1
Sassy Data Moments: 0
To date: 1
Sassy O'Brien Moments: 0
To date: 0
Sassy Crusher Moments: 0
To date: 2
Sassy Troi Moments: 0
To date: 4
Sassy Guest Star Moments: 0
To date: 2

Number of times that it is mentioned that Data is an android: 6
To date: 15

Number of times that Troi reacts to someone else's feelings: 0
To date: 10

Number of times that Geordi "looks at something" with his VISOR: 0
To date: 0
Number of times when Data gives too much info and has to be told to shut up: 0
To date: 0
Picard Maneuvers: 1
To date: 14
Tea, Earl Grey: 0
To date: 2

Goodnight, Uhura