ST:TNG Season One, Episode Nineteen "Coming of Age"

ST:TNG Season One, Episode Nineteen "Coming of Age"
Production Order: 19
Air Order: 19
Stardate: 41461.2
Original Air Date: March 14, 1988

They gave Wes a new haircut. It... does not suit him.

Wes runs down the corridors of the E, and finally catches up with his friend Jake Kurland, who we have never met before. He tries to make awkward small talk, but they finally get around to the crux of the conversation: they both took the pre-test to take the real test to get into Starfleet Academy, but Jake missed it by 32 points, and now Wes is leaving to go take that real test, and they both feel kind of crummy about it. But Jake shakes his hand and genuinely wishes Wes good luck before they part.

Picard's Log 41416.2: "Orbiting Relva VII. Wes Crusher is gonna take the entrance exams to Starfleet Academy, and my buddy Admiral Quinn is there. He's asked to come aboard."

So Wes transports out, and Quinn beams in with this other dude, Lt Cmdr Remmick, the walking, human equivalent of the phrase Stick Up Your Ass.
Picard introduces his staff present, and Quinn stiffly says he wants to talk to Picard. But when Picard attempts to invite Riker also, Quinn barks that Riker cannot come along. Picard is weirded out - I guess it's typical to have the first officer present at "official business" meetings like that? Especially when it's clear that Remmick will be going?
Lightly suspicious music... Opening credits break!

When they get to the ready room, Quinn comes right out with it: Remmick is with the Inspector General's Office. Picard lets out an uncomfortable "ohhh..." because let's face it, you don't really need to know what the Inspector General's Office does. You just know that every other department housed in that office building refers to them as "Dicks R Us." If Umbridge joined Starfleet, she'd be with the Inspector General's Office, right the fuck at the top, bustling everywhere with a clipboard in a uniform that was oddly pinkish instead of dark red.

Then Quinn drops a Vague Bomb: Remmick is here to inspect the Enterprise and her crew because Starfleet suspects that there is something "wrong" on the ship.

Picard is understandably baffled. "Um, what's wrong with the ship? Can I help you find something, or...?"

"No, I can't tell you that," barks Quinn. "But you have to cooperate completely."

He tells Remmick to get on with it, and Remmick is wearing his attitude like it's woven into his uniform: he's got a bit of power here, but he's acting like it's quite a bit more than it actually is. It's the sort of attitude where you hope someone will knock him down a peg or two by the end of the episode.

In the meantime, Picard tries to appeal to his friend by asking what this might be about, but Quinn is all business, and Picard is forced to refer to him as "sir." It's always uncomfortable when Picard calls someone "sir."

Wes is first in the testing room, and of course he's messing with some do-dad. I kind of like that. It speaks to his character. If he were simply the first one in the testing room, it might make him a suck-up, but instead he's playing with something he possibly shouldn't be playing with. Wes likes gadgets, he likes knowing how shit works. Then he gets caught. Another candidate walks in and playfully calls him out for messing with equipment. She's Oliana Mirren, and it seems she's heard of him before. She says he's described as "very smart and very young."

They're soon joined by the other candidates, T'Shanik and a Benzite named Mordock. T'Shanik tells Wes that he looks too young to be joining Starfleet and Wes replies that his sixteenth birthday is the following month, so now we know what the age minimum is for the 24 century. (That doesn't explain how the hell Tina Lawton ended up finishing the Academy's four-year course and landing a spot on the flagship of Starfleet at age 17, but TOS was all over the place, so if they wanted a teenage girl on the Enterprise, they just put her there.)

Wes briefly fangirls over Mordock, who is the creator of the Mordock Strategy, a chess move. Then the instructor, Tac Officer Chang, enters and the testing begins.

You know what I noticed? Clever wardrobe people very subtly gave each of the candidates outfits that included Ops gold, command red, and science blue.

Check out Mordock, yo. He's pretty awesome. That little light-up do-hickey in front of his face occasionally lets out this puff of something, so I'm guessing that the Benzite atmosphere is different enough to warrant wearing one of those. He's just a really cool alien. The make-up team was nominated for an Emmy for this episode, so I gotta guess it was for Mordock.

Upstairs, Remmick is pretty much standing over everyone, tapping out notes on a tiny PADD. It's unnerving, to the point where people keep asking him if he needs their help with anything. Geordi looks like he'd like to get sassy with with Remmick, but he knows better, so his tone is almost apologetic when he says that they're just in standard orbit, and the conn positions need to be manned as a matter of routine. Remmick tells Riker that he'll want to speak to him alone later, and Riker decides to ask Picard about this crap. He heads into the ready room.
"Am I being investigated?" he asks point-blank.
"Dunno," admits Picard. "Can't tell you even if I knew."
"This sucks."
"I agree."
But they're both frustrated, and it ends with raised voices. Riker stomps out of the ready room and onto the bridge.
"Let's have that chat," says Remmick.
"Fuck off," replies Riker.
Remmick tries to get all high and mighty about how everyone has to cooperate with him.
"I SAID FUCK OFF, I HAVE SHIT TO DO!" yells Riker, getting in the lift. It closes satisfyingly in Remmick's face.
Dramatic music! Commercial break!

We see the last question on the written exam about intermix ratios, which Wes gets instantly because it's a trick question. (The intermix ratio for matter-antimatter is 1:1, which you can now use at trivia nights, or when taking your own entrance exam at the Academy. 

Hey, man. Don't knock it. All those nerds who grew up watching this show are now scientists hell-bent on making this shit a reality. We already have early-stage replicators and transporters, so we may not be that far off. So when your grandchild is struggling over intermix ratio questions on AP Science homework, you can confidently tell them that it's 1:1, because you read it on some dumb blog...which I will probably still be writing, because reboots.)

Mordock and Wes talk about how there could only have been one answer, and Oliana feels bad, because she didn't get the answer in time. She says it must be nice to be them, having the answers come so easily. Wes backs up and apologetically tells her that he has to study all the time.

"It's a good thing you're cute, or you could really be obnoxious," she laughs, just before leaving.

I am... not touching that with a ten-foot pole.

Wes is kind of charmed. "Mordock, she said I'm cute!" he beams.

"Is that good?" asks Mordock, reminding us that not every species procreates the same.

"Yes! I think?"

Riker enters the bridge and tries to apologize for yelling at Picard earlier.
"No need," answers Picard. "Remmick is a total twat-waffle, and he has everybody on edge."
Remmick then enters from the other lift and asks if Riker is now ready for their "chat." He uses a Sassy Moment voice, but again, that dude is a twat-waffle, so I'm not awarding him a Sassy Moment. Suck it, Remmick.
Riker agrees and they go into the ready room. Remmick says that there are "discrepancies" in the captain's log.
"Have you asked him about those?" asks Riker.
"No! I'm asking you, and we're gonna go over them with a fine-tooth comb!"
There's a tense pause, then -
"Fine. Let's do this, motherfucker," Riker replies.

Next we go to Engineering, where Remmick is hassling Geordi, following him around while he does shit at various stations by the warp engines. They're talking about the incident with Kosinski and The Traveler, where the E ended up at the edge of the universe and beyond. Remmick is accusing Picard of losing control of the ship.
Geordi has no patience for this shit. "Bitch, what did I just say? Starfleet sent us Kosinski, with the direct orders for us to let him "improve" the engines."
"But the bridge crew objected to him," Remmick presses. He just "decides" that Picard lost control of the ship.
Geordi lets out this short sigh that says, "OMG, fuck you sideways with a katana."

Next up: Troi.
Remmick demands to know if Picard has ever had a mental lapse that would mean he was not fit to run the ship.
"Never," she replies.
"What about the thing with the Ferengi and the Stargazer?"
"Hello? He was being controlled by a mind-altering machine," she answers.
"Hello? That counts as mental lapse." He types "yes" in on his PADD.
Troi considers getting Geordi that katana that he said he wanted.

Wes is chilling on an unused holodeck when Worf enters. He's about to turn it on when he notices Wes just leaning against the wall. The acting ensign tells the Klingon that he's finished with today's tests, but is worried about the psychological portion, which will be based on his deepest fears. He wants to program some fears into the holodeck to practice facing them, but isn't certain what he's most afraid of.
"Thinking about something which you can't control wastes energy and creates its own enemy," Worf says wisely.
Wes is annoyed. "I don't know what my biggest fear is - how do they know?"
"They check out your psych profile," Worf answers. "They were right on the gold-pressed latinum for me and everyone I tested with."
"I thought Klingon warriors weren't afraid of anything?"

Wes feels like he may have overstepped his boundaries by asking too many personal questions, but Worf sees that this kid could use a mentor, so he continues on. He tells Wes that he struggles to depend on others, especially with his life.

"But... you have depend on everyone on the Enterprise to do that everyday," reasons Wes. "How did you overcome your fear?"

"I haven't," he answers. 

Y'all... that was a great scene. They've been really stepping it up with Worf lately, not only giving him more screentime and better lines, but giving him more to work with overall. And I like the fact that we see Wes worrying about his future here. A lot is riding on whether or not he'll get in, and it's assumed that he will, but he doesn't know that yet. That they paired Worf and Wes together here makes it even better for both characters.

Now if we could only do the same for Tasha...

Riker and Picard are having a perfectly normal, stress-free convo on the bridge at one of the science stations, when an alarm goes off. It's the shuttle bay, and Yar reports that someone is taking a shuttle. She says it's Jake Kurland. We know him, the kid who didn't quite make the cut to take the Academy entrance exams.

The bridge crew hops into action, but Remmick hops into Asshole Mode.

"Isn't that area secure?" he asks in a snotty tone.

"Go fuck yourself," Riker replies.

Worf relays that Jake is using the emergency override to open the bay doors.

"Smart kid," remarks Geordi.

"Kid?!" says Remmick. He goes ignored.

Picard calmly calls the shuttle. He's being followed by Remmick.

A shaky-sounding Jake comes on the line, saying that he's flying someplace else to sign on with a freighter. He can't face his father after failing that test. Unfortunately, an alarm goes off in the shuttle. He's accidentally effed up the dilithium reaction.

He's lost power, and is less than two minutes from burning up in the atmosphere of Relva. The bridge crew discusses options. Too far away for a tractor beam, too far away for a transporter lock. Then fucking Remmick physically steps in front of Picard to yell in his face that he's "responsible for that boy!" right in the middle of a mother. Fucking. Crisis.

Picard is so done. "Move. Your skinny ass. Out. Of my way."

Sensing that he could very likely walk away with a broken nose, Remmick wisely steps back. Picard puts Jake on viewscreen. Jake is now panicking. Picard reassures him that they get him back safely, as Riker is quietly telling Picard that the shuttle needs 50 seconds for the core to cool off before it can start again.

Picard tells Jake to aim the shuttle at Relva, wait until it hits a certain speed, then pull up hard.

"I'm gonna crash!"

"You're going to be just fine."

But Jake does what he says and manages to come out in one piece. Everyone cheers, including Remmick.

"That was incredible!" he says. "How did he do it?"

"He built up enough speed to bounce off the atmosphere," smiles Geordi.

Jake is told to bring the shuttle back and report to Riker.

Remmick slips easily from "Hooray! You did it!" right back into Asshole Mode. "How did that kid get access to a shuttle?"

Riker puts the smack-down on Remmick by stating that Kurland is a "highly-qualified Academy candidate" with a lot of experience in multiple areas, including shuttlecraft.

"Did this training include discipline?" demands Remmick dickishly.

You know Riker is probably in charge of Kurland's training, just as he is in charge of Wes's training, and is not going to take that crap lying down. He looks like he's going to punch Remmick. But Picard stops Riker long enough to calmly explain to Remmick that everyone makes "rash choices" sometimes, and that when he gets back, Jake Kurland will get a refresher in discipline.

Sadly, no one punches Remmick.

Downstairs, Wes is walking through the Relva complex with Mordock when a huge gold shirt asks him where to drop off a package. He gives directions to a nearby office, but when the gold shirt passes, they knock shoulders. The gold shirt becomes enraged and blames the incident on Wes, who stammers an apology. Chang happens by and asks if there's a problem. The gold shirt pulls out some "do you know who I am?" bullshit. But then Wes switches tactics, and starts yelling back.

"You bumped into me! This was your fault! Do you want your ass kicked?"

The gold shirt smiles. "Naw, we're good, friend." And he walks away.

"WTF?" asks Mordock.

"When he gestured, I saw that his fingers were webbed," explains Wes. "He's a Zaldan. They think courtesy is phony, and it pisses them off. So I yelled at him instead."
Chang admits that it was an unannounced test to see how the candidates deal with certain situations.
Mordock muses that, not having heard of Zaldans before, he would not have passed that test.

Upstairs, Remmick has Data in the observation lounge, and inquires as to whether or not he has to tell the truth, being an android and all. Data answers in the affirmative. Remmick is being all weird and secretive, as though everyone thus far has been lying to him, and Data will give him all the information that everyone else has been hiding. He tells Data that there's something wrong with the logs and with Picard, and Data tells him that there is nothing wrong with either.

"That's not acceptable!" says Remmick.

Sassy Data Moment! "Acceptable or not, sir - it is the truth."

He swings the computer screen back at Remmick, and Brent Spiner gives him the smarmiest look he can pull out while still remaining in character. "Suck it, biiiiitch."

Next up is Worf. Remmick asks "how did this contaminant get aboard the ship?" (He's asking about the Naked Now illness.)
Remmick tries to make it Picard's fault, but Worf is stoically insistent that it was an accident.
"You don't like me very much, do you?" asks Remmick.
Dude: Sassy Worf Moment:

Cut to Remmick grilling Crusher, and guess what he asks her about?

That's right! Jack Crusher is dead! It's pretty much Picard's fault!

And while her words do not necessarily warrant a Sassy Moment, the fact that she laughs softly before answering, and especially her tone, definitely earn her a spot on the list:

YAAAASSSS!

Finally, Remmick grills Picard about saving Wes from the Edo, violating the Prime Directive. Picard admits to it freely, and reminds Remmick that he's interrogated all of his senior officers and found nothing. Remmick suggests that Picard is afraid of being found guilty of... something. Like, we have no idea what he's even after, and we're more than half-way through this episode.

"The only thing I'm guilty of is letting this drag out this long," Picard tells him, and walks away.

Dramatic music! Commercial break!

Picard goes to the quarters where Quinn is staying. "Cut the bullshit, Quinn. What do you want?"
"Remmick's report is almost ready. You can be here when he reports it back to me," Quinn replies.
"I don't know if I want to be your friend anymore," growls Picard.
"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. I had to do this, though."
He calls Remmick, who replies that he'll be right there. Remmick's voice has lost its pitbull quality and taken on a weasely-lackey tone. Ugh.

In the testing center, the candidates are taking this weird test when a cube made of dots rotates on their screens, while other dots fly at it. The candidates have to make the flying dots go to the cube so the whole thing turns green or something. I don't really know. It looks kind of futuristic, so they slapped some science-y jargon onto it, enough that the audience will shrug and go, "Okay, I'll buy it." It looks like a cabinet game from the 1980's, but all the candidates are struggling, so we're also supposed to buy that it's difficult. I have no idea what they're actually doing. "Inputting vector coordinates" or something.

Anyway, Mordock is losing faith, and Wes coaches him from his own station. Mordock completes the test just before Wes does, and the girls appear to finish as well before time is up.

Chang comes in, congratulates Mordock on getting the second-fastest time on that test ever, and Mordock complains that he only finished the test because Wes helped him.

"Yep," says Chang cheerfully, unconcerned. "You get an hour free time before the next test."

"The psych test?" asks Wes.

Chang frowns and acts all serious, correcting Wesley on the proper labeling of the "psychological evaluation" but then he smiles and ends with, "but "psych test" will do."

You know, I really like Chang. He reminds of Sulu, and it makes me wonder if this actor (Robert Ito) is a fan of Sulu, because he seems to be channeling our former helmsman. There's just enough seriousness that you know that he's a competent officer and the guy who's got your back in a pinch, but enough of a playful sense of humor exists that you'd probably like to get a drink with him after shift.

 

Meanwhile, Remmick reports in for his meeting with Quinn. Picard is there, staring out the window.

"Um, so... I did what you asked," says Remmick. "I tried to find something wrong, and I talked to all of the crew members and went through the logs, but I couldn't find anything. Like, the bridge crew is... familiar, but it's because they treat each other like family and stuff."

Quinn dismisses him. When he starts to leave, Remmick turns and addresses Picard.

"I'm done with the Inspector General's Office in six months," he says. "Then I want to come work for you here."

Picard gives him this look like, "That's a terrible jo- oh, you were serious."

Remmick shrinks a little. Quinn's look also says, "That was awful timing."

The lieutenant-commander leaves.

Then Quinn drops another Vague Bomb: Starfleet didn't send them to investigate something being wrong on the E. Quinn is doing this all on his own. And he didn't want there to be something wrong on the E, because that would mean that there's probably something wrong with Picard, and he wants to trust Picard, blah, blah, blah, run-on sentences and crap that's supposed to be tension-building, but which is actually irritating filler, and we finally get to the very vague crux: there's some kind of threat to the Federation, and he doesn't know if it's from the inside or the outside, but he wants to promote Picard to admiral and put him in charge of the Academy. Also, surprise: there was never actually anything wrong with the E, he needed to make sure that Picard was on the up-and-up.

"Sorry, didn't catch that. Perhaps if you were more vague?"

Picard decides to think about it, and give the admiral his decision later.

Downstairs, Mordock comes out of his psych test shaking, and he tells Wes that he will be fine. Wes is shown into a tiny empty room with one chair. He announces his presence, and when no one answers, he thinks maybe they forgot about his test. He then tries to talk himself into remaining calm.
There's a loud thud outside, which he quietly investigates. More explosions, and he's now out the door, looking for the source. He locates it down the hall, in the environmental lab.
An open door reveals an on-going accident scene. Wes yells for help, just as the trapped workers do as well.

One dude, who's kept his wits about him, yells to Wes that there's going to be another explosion, and the room will automatically seal itself off before that to contain the damage. They have thirty seconds before that happens, but he can't go anywhere, as his legs are crushed under some fallen pipes. There's another guy at the back of the lab who looks like he's about to lose his mind. He seems to be moving alright, but he keeps hugging a pipe connected to the wall and yelling, "We're all gonna die!"
"Help me!" Wes yells to him, trying to dig out the guy with the crushed legs.
But guy #2 just shakes his head and yells again that they're all gonna die.
Wes frees guy #1 and begins the first aid drag, pulling the dude out by his under arms. He keeps yelling encouragement to guy #2, who still has his arms firmly wrapped around that pipe.
Guy #2 insists that he can't move.
"I can't carry you both!" Wes calls back to him.
He drags guy #1 out into the corridor just in time, yelling "I'm sorry!" to guy #2. The doors snap shut.

Chang steps up to Wes, and Wes, seeing him, starts yelling frantically about an accident in the environmental lab.
But then Crushed Legs Guy gets up and shakes Wes' hand, thanking him before walking away. The doors to the enviro lab open, and Panicky "We're All Gonna Die!" Guy walks out, giving Wes a quick nod before leaving casually down the hall.
"So yeah, that was your psych test," says Chang, confirming what is clearly dawning on Wes' face.
And Wes finally walks himself through what turns out to have been his biggest fear: Jack Crusher was killed when Picard had to make a choice that ultimately lead to the death of his best friend. Wes was afraid that when the time came, he would not be able to make a choice like that. And while it didn't quite occur here in the same way - the panicky guy was a stranger rather than a close friend - he was forced to make a life or death choice, and he did so.
For once, I do not have to use the horse photo when talking about Jack Crusher's death, because for once, it's used correctly. We've seen it utilized to define relationships and needlessly tug at heart-strings, but we've never quite gotten around to talking about the fact that it would have not only affected Wes, but actually formed the person he would become. And that it would form the basis of his biggest fear, and inform on the career path he wished to take.

Chang tells him that he did well, even though there was no right or wrong answer.

But let's face it - the psych test is only 50% for the benefit of Starfleet. That other half is for the person applying. While the results could be helpful to Wes in gaining entrance to the Academy, it's really more helpful for him to know that he was able to stare down this previously unknown fear, and make the decision he wasn't certain he could make.

Upstairs, Picard is staring out the ready room window. There's a cool shot of Riker entering from the door, and we see him reflected in the glass.
Riker tells Picard that Remmick has left, and Picard reveals that Remmick found nothing, and that Quinn was impressed by the crew. Picard tells Riker that Quinn was watching him, and has offered him a promotion, to be commandant of Starfleet Academy.
Riker is genuinely pleased for his captain, saying that this promotion sounds like a great job, and won't it be awesome to mold some new minds for Starfleet...?
But he recognizes that Picard is on the fence, and needs to do some more thinking before making his choice.

Downstairs, Chang laments that they can only choose one candidate to enter the Academy, and hopes that the others will test again, because he thinks they're all awesome. Then he announces that Mordock scored a tiny bit higher than Wes, and that he will be the first Benzite in Starfleet.

Mordock protests, because Wes helped him. Chang says that all things were taken into account, and Mordock still would have scored a little bit better, even if Wes had not lost a few seconds time in helping him. Chang leaves, followed shortly by T'Shanik, who must be pretty pissed off that she lost. Oliana shakes Mordock's hand, then playfully tells Wes that he should be looking out for her next year, before she also exits.

Picard is making his way down the corridor in his dress skant when he and Jake Kurland do the Awkward Dance.  They go around one another, and Jake seems grateful that Picard has opted to ignore him, but then cringes when he is called back. He stammers apologies for damaging the shuttle, explanations of how he is now going to fix the shuttle as part of Riker's "discipline training" and thanks for saving his life. Picard reminds him that running away is not the answer, and that it's his job to ensure that everyone on the E remains safe.

I guess he's doing the mentor tour, because Picard finds Wes in the observation lounge.

"How come you're not in dress uniform for the admiral's farewell dinner?" he asks.

"Seemed inappropriate," admits Wes. "I... uh, I didn't get it. I failed you and the E."

"No, that's dumb," says Picard. "You did your best, and you'll do better when you re-test next year. You're only competing against yourself, and you shouldn't be taking me or anyone else into account when you do the test."

"Look," he says, "I'm gonna tell you something that I've never told anyone else... Wesley Albus Severus Crusher, you were named for two guys from another fandom who were heroes but also really kind of fucked up, and it's okay if you get sorted into Slytherfleet."

Naw, just screwing with you.

He admits that he also failed the test the first time.

Wes is baffled, and Picard says that he did not fail the second time, implying that Wes will not, either.

And they go to the admiral's dinner, so that Picard can "disappoint an old friend."

We skip the dinner, but go straight to Picard saying goodbye to Quinn. Quinn wishes that Picard had taken the commandant position, but smiles and shrugs, saying that he's been playing politics for so long that he now sees conspiracies everywhere. He gets on the pad and beams away.

Picard returns to the bridge and gives Wes the destination. He makes a note to Wes about "continuing with our mission," and they warp away.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.
No, okay. That's not true. We got two Wes-based episodes back-to-back here, and neither one was the best or worst.
But we did get one pretty good episode that played up to Wil Wheaton's strengths, and one that did not. In "When the Bough Breaks," he's asked to play the part of Wes-as-revolutionary, which doesn't really ever pan out. He likes the Aldeans and never gets around to giving them the verbal smack-down that they so sorely needed. They give that bit to Picard, which waters down Wes' part considerably. But in "Coming of Age," Wil is asked to portray an uncertain Wes, possibly on the brink of starting his adult career, and it works because Wil, at the same age as Wes, may have been grappling with the same issues. It reads better. What's more, they build his character up by not only playing him against Worf, but by factoring in his past and what has made him the person that he is at this moment in time. All of these things work well for the character of Wes, and make it that much easier for Wil to slip into the role.
The other thing I like about this episode is that it allows us to see a bit of Starfleet "behind the curtain." We know these people aren't just wandering around in space alone, we know they're connected to a larger organization, but that organization is pretty nebulous. There's a hierarchy, yes, and sometimes we see others in it, but there isn't a lot of talk about how things run. In this particular episode, we see how two different parts operate: how one gets into the organization to begin with, and how things run once one is further along on the pecking order.
We see other candidates, people vying to get into Starfleet, and the exams they must pass in order to proceed to training. The written stuff is expected, but the psych test not as much (unless you factor in for the Kobayashi Maru, which cadets get stuck with at the Academy). Again, the psych test is as helpful for the Academy hopeful as it is for Starfleet, and I find myself wondering what everyone else's psych tests were like.
It's also hinted at that Wes' ability to cheerlead his teammates is appreciated by Chang and others doing the testing, something he would have picked up working on the E.
I do like the fact that he didn't get in, though. It has several advantages: one, this way we get to see more of his character before they ship him off to San Francisco; two, we get to hear from two very different characters (Worf and Picard) how their exams went, which means a bit of character development on their part; and three, we get to see how Wes deals with failure. We know how he reacts when he's correct but treated as an underling (either frustrated or douchey, for some reason), but knowing how someone reacts to failure is just as good for character-building (and sometimes better) than seeing them succeed.
The addition of Jake Kurland is interesting. We start out knowing that he hasn't passed the initial step to getting into Starfleet, and we see Wes feel bad for him while being elated that he himself made it. That's a tricky situation to be in, and one that Wes handled nicely. His friend does not feel slighted. For Jake, this probably feels like the end of the world, which is why he made the rash decision to run away and join a freighter. We don't really know anything about signing up for freighter duty, but we can guess that it takes more physical skills than mental skills, and that working on a freighter is something that people in the 24th century do not aspire to. Is there anything wrong with that? Probably not, but it sounds like the sort of thing that others react to with a sad, "I wanted better for him." Here's the funny thing about Jake that marks a difference between TOS and TNG: on the original series, Jake would have died. Think about it: any time TOS introduces a character who has a backstory and obvious friends on the ship, it is only to tug at heartstrings more when that character dies needlessly later in the episode. By TOS rules, Jake should have been red-shirted. But TNG plays by different rules, and characters who are introduced and given backgrounds and relationships are allowed to merely fade into non-existence. They may return later for recurring roles, but most likely they simply served their purpose of furthering the story, and will never be seen again.

Seeing the bureaucratic side of Starfleet was also interesting, if a bit vague, (That seems to be the thee for this episode.) Quinn appears with Remmick, and Picard, though non-plussed, doesn't question it when Quinn orders him to cooperate. It seems as though he never asked for any confirmation that Starfleet wanted the E checked out... he just takes his friend's word for it. The crew goes along (again, no one questions it), and they cooperate, but make it quite clear that they'd rather be disemboweling Remmick with the aforementioned katana. Then, when Quinn finally tells Picard that he thinks there's trouble afoot, we get some X-Files conspiracy theory shit, and Quinn admits that the politics he has to play every day probably contributes to his seeing this stuff that may or may not exist. It really just plays into the Star Trek mantra of "Don't ever get promoted above captain. It'll make you into a fancy asshole."

Bottom line: this episode was pretty good. Not the best, not the worst. But fairly good for a Wes story.

Red deaths: 0

Gold deaths: 0

Blue deaths: 0

Obnoxious Wes moments: 0

Legitimate Wes moments when he should have told someone to go fuck themselves: 0

Sassy Geordi moments: 0

Sassy Wes Moments: 0

Sassy Worf Moment: 1

Sassy Riker Moments: 0

Sassy Yar Moments: 0

Sassy Picard Moments: 0

Sassy NPC Moments: 0
Sassy Data Moments: 1
Sassy Crusher Moments: 1

Number of times that it is mentioned that Data is an android: 1

Number of times that Troi reacts to someone else's feelings: 0

Number of times that Geordi "looks at something" with his VISOR: 0

Fun Facts:

- There's actually an action figure of Mordock, as well as a trading card.

- John Putch, the guy who played Mordock, was actually asked back to play Mordon, another Benzite in a later episode. ("A Matter of Honor") This made him the first person to play two different characters on TNG of the same species. He was all flattered to be specifically asked to play Mordon, but later realized that it was because they'd built the Mordock head to fit his own head, and another actor would not gave fit into it correctly.

- The matte painting for Relva was originally used in three episodes of 1979's "Buck Rogers in the Twenty-Fifth Century." It was painted by Dan Curry of the Star Trek special effects team, and altered ever-so-slightly for inclusion in this episode. It still hangs in Curry's home.

- This was the first episode where Maurice Hurley was showrunner. He paid for a trip to Tahiti for Gene Rod and Majel Barrett, with the understanding that he would run the show while Gene was gone. When they returned, Gene gave the writing staff over to Maurice rather than picking up where he left off.
- A scene of Wes' sixteenth birthday was filmed but then cut. It supposedly included a humorous conversation between Worf and Data, where they discuss birthdays.
- We have to assume that Remmick talked to Yar, because the episode states that he spoke with all of the senior officers, but her interview is not shown.
-This episode features the first appearance of the shuttlecraft model on TNG.

"I am helping, yes?"

Star Trek III: The Search for Spock (Part I)

"Star Trek III: The Search for Spock"
Original Theatrical Release Date: June 1, 1984
Rating: PG
Stardate: 8210.3

So just to catch everyone up, and to remind you that you walked out the last film wanting to slit your wrists, they open this new film with footage from Spock's death scene and funeral. The picture is tiny in a sea of back, and the footage is black and white, tinted blue for extra melancholy. The picture enlarges gradually, until the footage fills the screen, and it colorizes slowly, until full saturation is reached, about the time that Kirk gives his eulogy, and stumbles over the words "his was the most... human."

It's followed up by zooming in on the Genesis planet and Spock's casket lying there among the foliage while leonard Nimoy's voice-over of the TOS intro plays. The music swells when we reach the casket and we get the title.

There's an extra-long pause in the opening credits between William Shatner's name and DeForest Kelley, because that's where "Leonard Nimoy" would have gone, and WHY DO YOU HATE ME, STAR TREK?
I can't even with this crap.
Then, at the end of what seems like a ridiculously-long opening credit sequence -

SURPRISE, MUTHAFUCKAS!
He's back, but he's behind the camera now.

Kirk's Log, no stardate given: "Limping home with my busted ship. Going in for repairs because we broke it again fighting Khan, right after it was retrofitted for new missions. A lot of the trainees have gone, been reassigned, and Saavik and David are down on Genesis, exploring."
Kirk walks around the bridge while the voice-over log is playing. He's got a bit of empty-nest syndrome, and he follows up the thought that Spock's death "feels like an open wound" and that he "left the noblest part of myself on Genesis." He pauses by the empty science station with his hand on the chair. If he had said stuff like this on TOS, I might not have bought it. But here, it comes off as earnest rather than overly dramatic.
Go home, Kirk Classic. New Kirk is the better product.

Kirk needs someone at science, so he asks Chekov to fill in. Pavel pauses uncomfortably before agreeing. Engineering is called and Kirk asks Scotty how long until they're completely retrofitted.
"Eight weeks," replies Scotty. "But you don't have that, so I'll do it in two."
Kirk smiles wryly and asks Scotty if he's always overestimated his repair times by a factor of four.

On his way off the bridge, some cute, naive little trainee asks Kirk if there will be "some kind of reception" when they get back. Kirk sees through the crap. He knows this kid wants to know if they're getting a ticker-tape parade. Even though he's smiling at this twerp, you can tell that he's in no mood to party.

We switch ships to some little clunker elsewhere in space. The people running the ship are obviously some chick and a rag-tag group of guys she hired to bring her there. They can't find the ship they are supposed to rendezvous with, so she hails empty space and gets an answer. A Romulan warbird de-cloaks right next to them.

Only it's not Romulans. Early on, there was a plan in place to make Romulans the baddies in this film, but minds were changed after the model was built. "Oh, well," they shrugged. "It's already been established that the Klingons and Romulans share ships and technology, so we can keep the model and just say it was based on that." Remember why that tech-sharing thing emerged? It was because someone on the TOS set broke the Klingon ship model and all they had left was a Romulan warbird, so they added a line about the Roms and Klingons being quasi-buddies. That's right. Someone's utter clumsiness created canon that carried over and now Klingons are flying warbirds again.
And check these Klingons out. Pretty modern uniforms, and everyone has finger-print unique forehead ridges. Noice.
Also Kruge, our Klingon captain played by Christopher Lloyd, has a targ, this creepy dog-thing.

The chick with the hair is Valkris, and she tells Kruge in Klingon that she has the information on Project Genesis. They transmit it ship to ship, and she admits that she has seen it.
"Unfortunate," he says.
"Understood," she replies, and you know what happens next.
The hapless humans she hired want to know when she's going to pay them, then Kruge gives the word and blows the little clunker to space dust. By the parting words between Valkris and Kruge, it seems implied that she's his wife or mistress or something, and he regrets having to take the action. But Klingons, man: what're you gonna do?

The Enterpise arrives at the space dock, which is also a really nice model. And ridiculously huge. Not V'ger huge, but still. We get some loveletter shots of the ship as it pulls into dock, but those don't last very long, as the E crew instantly starts scoping the tall drink of Excelsior-class parked next to them.

This is the USS Excelsior (yep, they named the class after the ship), ready for trial runs, and Sulu nearly wets himself talking about how this new ship has "transwarp" and while it's never fully explained what that is, it sounds like, in racing broom terms, this new ship is a Firebolt while everyone else is riding Nimbus 2000s.

Scotty is unimpressed.

Kirk tells him jokingly not to rag on the kids with their newfangled ideas.
We get back to more loveletter shots, but they're marred a bit by the fact that the ship is all shot to hell. We see inside of the dock viewing areas while other workers watch the ship go by. They seem impressed until they spot the damage. And who has the best reaction? Rand, y'all. She makes this face that I found kind of annoying on her when she was younger, but which is now kind of funny. Subtle, but effective.

"Are you shitting me, Kirk?"
Also, the chick to Rand's left is wearing the shirt they had on Carol Marcus in the last film. Good job, Budget.

The bridge crew is preparing to dock when Chekov spins in his chair and aggitatedly tells Kirk that he's getting a life-form reading from Spock's quarters.
"WTF?" asks Kirk. "I ordered you to seal those quarters!"
"I totes did!" protests Chekov.
"I'm not crazy! It's there!" Chekov tells Scotty in Russian. Have I mentioned how awesome it is when crew members lapse into native languages? I love that shit.
Uhura says that security Reds are reporting that the door to those quarters have been forced. Kirk rushes down there. A pair of ridiculously-dressed Reds with weapons are standing there next to the door, just kind of doing jack.

 Seriously, is this a Star Trek-Megaman crossover?

So they're armed and doing nothing and the effing captain of the ship (and an admiral!) just blindly walks into danger. Is this his idea or theirs? Because either way, it's a bad one. Rand, how do we feel about this?

Kirk turns on a light, which illuminates almost nothing, and we get spooky string-instrument music. A gravelly voice says "Jim, help me."
"You left me on Genesis. Why did you do that? Help me."
A shadowy figure in a Starfleet uniform is sitting in a chair. Kirk rushes forward and grabs the figure, but surprise! It's Bones.

"Bones, WTF? I nearly shit myself!"
"I need to go home," says Bones, who is still acting oddly. "I need to go to Mount Selaya."
"What?" asks a baffled Kirk. "That's on Vulcan, you weirdo."
"I need to go home," Bones repeats, and he collapses in Kirk's arms.
Uhura calls over the PA that they've docked completely and that some other admiral is on his/her way to do an inspection. Kirk calls back frantically that he needs a medic.

The inspection wraps up in the torpedo bay a little later, with everyone on board lined up. This other admiral gives everyone extended shore leave, except for Scotty, because they need him to oversee the final run-throughs of the Excelsior. Mostly what this tells us is, "study hard, kids, but not too hard, or else you'll end up becoming the best of the best and getting screwed out of vacation time." 

Scotty is all, "That's flattering that you want me to work overtime while everyone else gets a break, but I want to see the re-fit of my ship."

"Oh, yeah," says this new admiral. "We're retiring the E, so get your ass over to the Excelsior."

"Um, the hell?" asks Kirk. "We wanted to go back to Genesis to check it out."

"About that," says the admiral. "While you guys were away, some major shit has started over Genesis. We don't have things squared away yet, so we want you guys to keep your mouths shut about it, mmkaaay? The subject is forbidden."

Back on the warbird, Kruge and two flunkies are viewing the tapes Valkris transferred to them. The tapes include Kirk's report to Starfleet, and parts of Carol Marcus' original proposal. When it ends, he asks the two flunkies what they think of the situation, and one says that it's impressive that the Federation are able to make planets. Kruge makes fun of him by weaving some image of Klingon suburbia, then excuses him. To the other, he confides that they are going to Genesis, because he can see the potential for destruction.

In the next scene, a different class of starship approaches a planet that looks like Earth, but the title cards are kind enough to tell us that it's Genesis, and they give us the stardate (though that last part is really not necessary).This is the USS Grissom, a science vessel headed up by Commander Esteban, and it's carrying David and Saavik, who are conducting research.
Ah, but it's a new Saavik. Instead of Kirstie Alley, we got Robin Curtis. Why? Kirstie asked for more money than they were willing to pay, so they simply hired a new actress. This Saavik also plays her emotions closer to the vest. They decided to play Saavik as though she's fully Vulcan rather than a mix of Vulcan and Romulan, and it just works better. Robin Curtis actually does a pretty good job of playing a sardonic Vulcan.
Anyway, David is practically skipping across the bridge when he tells Saavik to start scanning the planet, and she replies, "Just like your father, so human." So I guess everyone knows about the Kirk-David thing. No secrets in Starfleet. Just lovely, lovely gossip.

The bridge of the Grissom is a re-dress of the E bridge, but they put pink covers on the chairs to differentiate between the Grissom and the E. The E has grey chairs. Did they use pink and grey as a subtle homage to TAS director Hal Sutherland, whose colorblindness lead to making grey tribbles pink? I doubt it. Am I going to pretend that that was the case anyway? Fuck yeah.

They begin scanning the planet, area by area, and reporting what the computer finds there. There are deserts, rain forests, and snowy areas. The funny part is that there's a snowy area right next to a very warm desert. Then they find a "metallic mass" that they identify as Spock's torpedo casing. They had not meant to shoot it down there, it had been pulled into the gravitational fields. Esteban tells his communications officer to let Starfleet know that they accidentally jettisoned Spock's casket onto Genesis.

Then something creepy appears on the screen:

So, there weren't supposed to be any animal life forms on Genesis, and now it seems that there is one. David is baffled. Esteban is baffled. Saavik is intrigued. It isn't anything the computer can identify. While they're standing around going "WTF?" David says they should beam it up to check it out.

C'mon, David. You're smarter than that. You can't let shit loose on the ship.

What's more, beaming it up isn't Star Trek.

But Saavik is wearing her What Would Kirk Do bracelet, and suggests that they beam down.

We leave it there.

Now we gather in Kirk's quarters with Sulu, Chekov, Uhura and Kirk. They toast to "absent friends" (which is very Navy of them) and talk about the E. Chekov wants to know if they're getting another ship, like if the equipment is being retired, but the crew remains together. I'm pretty sure that doesn't ever happen. Kirk admits that no one is talking to him about it. He sounds hella bitter about it, too. I guess there's some kind of conference going on, so no one in Starfleet has time to talk to Kirk about being able to go gallivanting through the universe. 

Uhura asks about Bones, and Kirk relays that the doctors think it's exhaustion and that he's resting at home.

Kirk, are you going jogging later?

The doorbell rings, and Kirk thinks it's Scotty, but -

FUCK YEAH, IT'S SAREK! SHIT JUST GOT AWESOME!
He asks to speak to Kirk alone, and the others leave.
Turns out he's pissed as hell.
He found out about the casket on Genesis thing, and wants to know why Kirk would leave him on Genesis rather than bringing his body back to Vulcan. There's some confused back and forth, but basically, Vulcans have this spirit thing called a katra, and when they die, the katra is passed to a living person to keep safe. Sarek thinks that Kirk may have the katra because he and Spock were bros and because Kirk was the last person with Spock before he died. Kirk assures Sarek that he is not Spock's personal horcrux.
"I must have your thoughts," declares Sarek.
Dude. I know you're eager to find out where your son's soul is, but mind-melding is pretty invasive. Maybe don't go demanding that shit, Sarek.
Fortunately, he then politely asks if he can, and Kirk agrees.
They get into position, and Sarek sifts through Kirk's brain. He's kind of reliving the scene while Sarek goes over those last few lines. But they determine that Kirk is not holding Spock's soul.
Kirk now feels extra guilty because Sarek has said that when a Vulcan senses death is near, he'll give his katra to someone else... and he and Spock were separated by thick glass when he died.

Sarek gets up to leave, but then Kirk gets an idea. Maybe Spock gave his soul to someone else?

They go to some computer lab or something to look at footage from that time in engineering before Spock died, and they see him mind-meld with Bones.

"Yep, that's it," says Sarek. "You have to bring the doctor to Mount Seleya on Vulcan so we can separate them."

Kirk says that it will kind of suck getting Bones to Vulcan, but he promises to do so.

We return to the Grissom. David and Saavik beam down to the surface, and they find the torpedo casing pretty quickly. They find some kind of pink thingies that look like a cross between little manta rays and those flying rubber barf pancakes from "Operation -- Annihilate!" David does a scan and says that they used to be microbes from the surface of the casing, and which were on the E when the torpedo was shot into space. he looks mildly uncomfortable when she asks how the could have evolved that quickly.

David makes the executive decision to open the casing, which sounds like Bad News Bears to me. But when he lifts the lid, they do not find Spock's decomposing body. Instead, they just find the black robes he was wearing in that meditation scene on the E. I guess he was "buried" in them. There's nothing else in the casing.

An earthquake occurs, and the wind blows, carrying with it the sound of some kind of animal cry. They begin running toward it.

Somewhere on the other side of the universe, Kirk is having drinks with the Commander of Starfleet. He wants to take the E to Vulcan. The commander tells him that there's no chance of that happening, even if Spock's eternal soul is on the line. Kirk suggests hiring a non-Starfleet ship to take Bones to Mount Seleya. The commander also puts the kibosh on that plan. Apparently, going to Vulcan is cool, but getting Spock from Genesis is not. No one is allowed to go to Genesis except for the Grissom.

"Your life and career stand for rationality, not intellectual chaos," the commander says.

Dude, what show was he watching?

Kirk is all nice to the commander, "oh well, I had to try, right?" and leaves the lounge. He is met at the lifts by Sulu and Chekov.

"Got turned down, going anyway," he tells them. 

Chekov offers to alert Bones.

And speaking of Bones...

The good doctor walks into a bar, and I wonder when he found the time to go to the cantina on Mos Eisley.

No, seriously. There's a huge array of humans and aliens, people gambling and playing games, and is that Lando Calrissian?
The waitress, who is dressed as horribly as the waitresses from "The Trouble with Tribbles", seems to know him personally. He orders a drink he doesn't typically order, and when she points it out, he gives her a line about illogic in his best Spock voice. And props to De Kelley here - he does a mean Leonard Nimoy impression. When the waitress leaves to get his drink, some weirdo sits at his table.
This guy has the syntax of Yoda, and he seriously looks like the Night Hob from The Neverending Story.

So it seems that Bones is either ahead of his friends, or they've already talked to him about hiring a ship, because he's here to do so. This guy approaches him with the offer to fly him somewhere. They argue for a bit, and Bones admits that he wants to go to genesis, and will pay quite a bit for this guy to take him there. They get too loud, and Lando Calrissian sits down next to Bones.

He's actually plain-clothes Federation security, and has been watching Bones for a while. Bones grabs his shoulder a bunch of times in a goofy attempt to pinch him, but it only makes Lando give him a WTF look.

We switch back to planet Genesis, where Saavik and David are walking from rain forest into "snow-covered cactus" territory. They follow some footprints in the snow, and report that they are picking up a second life-form. The Grisson concurs.

Back on Earth, Kirk has gone to see Bones. They tell the admiral that Bones is going to be moved soon to "the Federation funny farm." Kirk makes a "fruity as a nut cake" joke, and the guard brusquely tell him "two minutes" in return. Dude, you cannot use the term "funny farm" then dickishly not even smirk when the person you're talking to makes a similar joke. The unfunny guard lets Kirk into Bones' cell.

The fuck it's not! That's hilarious!

Kirk tells Bones that he's "suffering from a Vulcan mind-meld."

Bones then says this is revenge for all those arguments that Spock lost. These lines are fabulous, you guys.

Out in the lobby or wherever the guards hang out, Sulu gets off the lift and says that he must see Admiral Kirk immediately, because the commander of Starfleet needs to talk to him. While the unfunny guard goes to fetch Kirk, the other one behind the desk yawns. Sulu makes a "working hard or hardly working"-type joke, and the dude stands up. He's pretty tall, and he tells Sulu "Don't get smart, Tiny." What a dick.

Unfunny enters the call to find Bones laid out on the table, and Kirk decides to use the sick prisoner gag. He only gets through half of his sentence before cold-cocking the guy.

Kirk, who has drugged Bones for the journey, helps him stumble out of the cell and into that open area near the lifts, only to find that Sulu has the big guard pinned against the wall. Then he flips that asshole onto his back on the floor and phasers all of the guards' consoles like a boss. They step into the side lift and Sulu says "Don't call me Tiny" as the Megaman-helmeted Security Reds pop out of the regular lift. Going down, y'all.

Do not fuck with Sulu.

In the lift, Kirk calls Chekov and tells him they're all set. They're calling their plan operation Kobayashi Maru. Oh, Lord.

On the Excelsior, Scotty hops into a lift just as Styles, the ship's captain, hops out. The captain is turning in for the night and they make some pleasantries before the captain cheerfully says he's looking forward to breaking the E's speed records in the morning. When he leaves, the lift asks Scotty where he's going. He directs it to the transporter room.

Now we move to the Old City Space Station, where Uhura is doing an hourly checking in with someone and filing paperwork. Her uniform here is a bit different. Her skirt is longer and looser, but damn, can she still rock those boots. With stiletto heels now, too. Yowza.

Her companion is some young d-bag who probably gets starry-eyed over Kirk's Kobayashi Maru results. He complains about being stationed here, and can't see why Uhura can stand it.

She cheerfully tells him that she likes the peace and quiet, and he is stupid enough to say that that's alright for her, because she's older and her career is winding down, but he wants adventure, and to get out of this backwoods hole.

She gives him this look, and he bleeds out on the floor.

He says he wants surprises, which is fortunate, because the door opens, and in walks Kirk, Bones and Sulu. They climb onto the transporter pads, exchanging pleasantries with Uhura while she sets their coordinates. Lieutenant Adventure starts babbling. She pulls a phaser and shoves the entitled little fucker into a closet.

Eat shit, kid. Nobody tells the ship goddess that her career is winding down.

Do not fuck with Uhura.

Uhura tells her boys that she'll meet them at the rendezvous, then beams them away.

We get an exterior shot of the E in space dock, and there's a funny little bit here where you don't realize that the lights of the ship are off until the lights in the bridge dome suddenly click on. On the bridge, our boys assemble. Scotty tells Kirk that he's rerouted the functions so that a skeleton crew could fly the ship, and Kirk tells them that they really don't have to continue on with him, that only he and Bones must make this trip. Chekov says they are wasting time, and Kirk smiles and tells them to get to stations.

As they are pulling away, Chekov reports that the Commander of Starfleet has ordered him to surrender the vessel. (Poor Walter, stuck saying "wessel" the rest of his life.) Kirk tells him not to reply.

We cut over to the Excelsior, and Captain Styles is in his quarters... filing his nails. Now, I really really hate stereotypes, and perpetuating them, but this guy is a pansy.

Anyway, they let him know that someone is stealing the E. The station also goes to yellow alert, and there's a funny shot of a guy resetting the tables in an empty dining hall while the E slowly backs out of its space. You almost expect to hear those high-pitched back-up alarms.

The Excelsior powers up with orders to stop them, and Styles enters his bridge with his chest all puffed out because, you know, he'll chase down that old ship PDQ, and then he'll be a hero and whatnot.

There are a few tense moments as Scotty works to get the space doors open in time to back out of them, and no one is quite sure whether they're just going to bang into them or not. They do start to open, but no one is quite sure if they'll open wide enough and in time. Jimmy Doohan makes this fabulous face as the Enterprise pretty much slides out by the skin of its teeth.

The E pulls out and turns, heading away from the station at full impulse. And here comes the Excelsior, whose captain seems to have a "this'll be easy" attitude. The line up of matte paintings and three kinds of models is awesome in this shot.

Kirk readies for warp drive, and Styles calls him to remind him that he's gonna get into all kinds of trouble if he doesn't turn around. Kirk warps away. Styles readies his ship for transwarp, and then it literally goes splutter, splutter, splutter, putt, putt, putt. Full power available, but... well, no one expects the Spanish Inquisition, and no one expects Scotty sabotage. The transwarp screen goes blank, and a cheerful "Good morning, Captain" pops up instead.

Do not fuck with Scotty.

There's a funny bit here, back on the E bridge, where Scotty likens ship innards to plumbing and tells them it was easy to "stop up the drain." He hands Bones a bunch of parts he harvested from the transwarp computer, saying "from one surgeon to another."

"Nice of you to give me a heads' up," grumps Bones.

"That's what you get for missing staff meetings," Kirk quips.

And they set sail for Genesis.

Back down on the planet in question, Saavik and David have encountered a snow storm. They follow the howling sound, scanners on and phasers drawn, when they spot the source of the sound: it's a little kid. He's naked in the snow, so Saavik puts the black burial robes on him. She tucks his hair behind his ear to reveal points and slanted eyebrows.

"Heeey, Grissom. We found that other life-sign. It's a Vulcan kid, and based on the fact that he's here, we think he might be a regenerated Spock."

WHUUUUU...?

And that's where we're gonna leave off for this week.
tl;dr: Bones is walking around with Vulcan schizophrenia, the bridge crew of the Enterprise has stolen the ship to go to Genesis, the Klingons are also on their way, and Saavik and David have found a tiny soulless version of Spock in the snow of a weird planet.

Sounds about right for Star Trek.

Fun Facts:

- Nichelle Nichols was initially unsatisfied with her smaller part in this film and considered not doing it at all. But then she read the full script and decided that her small part was awesome as hell.
- George Takei had similar complaints about being called "Tiny." He changed his mind when the film was screened and people busted up at the line "Don't call me Tiny."
- Grace Lee Whitney isn't listed in the credits as Rand. She's listed as "Woman in Cafeteria." Whatever, yo. That's Rand, and we know it.
- That little punk-ass bitch that Uhura locks in the closet is listed in the credits as "Mr Adventure."
- This film marks the first time that a cast member of Star Trek has ever directed a film or episode.

*******

I've decided to go with a "why the hell not?" policy when selecting teas of late, and to that end, grabbed up two seasonal teas, both from Bigelow. The one I tried this week is called Ginger Snappish, and featured gingerbread men on the box. I expected not to like this tea because... well, I don't really like gingerbread. The spice palette is overwhelming. But the description said it was mostly lemon with ginger, which I am willing to consume with an open mind. lemon is okay, ginger is delightful.

You guys, this tea is awesome. It tastes like lemon chiffon cake, all light and airy and lovely. No cinnamon and no god-awful clove. I was hesitant when I saw licorice root listed, but I don't really taste it at all.

Sometimes I buy a box of tea at the store and think, "Well, this will be one where the remainder of the box sits in the cupboard forever," and I kind of relegated this tea to that category in my mind, but I take it back now.

It's fabulous. If you're into lemon chiffon, you should get some.

https://www.bigelowtea.com/Shop-Teas/By-Type/Seasonal/Ginger-Snappish-Herbal-Tea-with-Lemon