ST:TNG Season Four, Episode Six "Legacy"

ST:TNG Season Four, Episode Six "Legacy"
Production Order: 6
Air Order: 6
Stardate: 44215.2
Original Air Date: October 29, 1990

We open this week with another weekly card game in Riker's quarters.
Riker compliments Data's impressive poker face.
Data bets big. (Side note: are those chips worth anything? If there is no money in the future, then what is the point of gambling?)
Riker asks if Data has something good.
Sassy Data Moment: "It will cost you 20 to make that determination, sir."
Riker seems to decide that Data's algorithms have not yet reached the point where he can successfully bluff, so he folds.
Troi points out that Data and Riker have been scooping up the winnings all night.
Sassy Worf Moment: "I suspect conspiracy. But far be it for me to accuse my superior officers."

Riker compliments Data on his mastery of this game, and especially that it's now getting harder for Riker to bluff him. Data accepts the compliment, then Riker proposes that, for all of the chips, he can find Data's card in a deck. Troi laughingly warns Data against this, but Data is all in.
The trick is performed, with Data literally throwing cards over his shoulder when Riker instructs him to "throw them away." Riker does indeed find the card, but then Data perfectly explains how the trick was performed, and takes the entire pile of chips for himself.

Picard pages Riker. They're getting a distress call, and switching headings to answer it.

Picard's Log 44215.2: "We were going to Camus II for archaeological stuff, but we got this distress call from the Federation freighter Arcos, so we're gonna check it out. They're in orbit around Turkana IV, which is where Tasha Yar was born."

On the bridge, Geordi calls to say that the engines are good for now, but they were at warp nine longer than recommended. Worf reports that the Arcos' transmitter is failing. Audio only.
The engineer of the Arcos calls to say that they only have five minutes until a warp core breach. There's an explosion in the background.
"Make that three minutes," he amends. "Thanks for trying, Enterprise."
Damn. The engineer of this ship is a calm-ass legend.
Data says they won't be in transporter range for seven minutes. Picard pushes them to 9.6.

They basically skid to a halt in front of the Arcos, but it blows. O'Brien wasn't able to get a lock on anything. They notice that a little escape pod is moving off away from the site to the planet's surface.
"Um, the last time a Federation ship went to Turkana, it was the Potemkin, and they were warned that anyone who beamed down to the colony would be killed," says Data.
"Shitty," says Picard. "Riker, take an away team down."

Dramatic music! Opening credits break!

Picard's Log, supplemental: "So we're orbiting Turkana IV, an Earth colony that left the Federation 15 years ago. I need to send an away team down to find those missing crew members, but I'm skeptical that things will go well."

The away team meets up in the transporter room, and Data tells them that there's pretty much nothing left of the colony on the surface, and that everything has moved underground. O'Brien has figured out that the escape pod hit the surface just outside of the ruined colony.
Worf expresses some unfounded concern over Crusher coming by hauling out some twentieth-century patriarchal white knight-ism. "Tasha Yar said there were rape gangs there. It isn't safe."
"Fuck off," replies Crusher. "I'm not some delicate flower."
"Seriously, fuck off," chimes in Riker. "Those missing people may need medical attention right away. She's coming with us."
Nevertheless, the colony is less than safe. They set their phasers to maximum stun, then get into Charlie's Angels positions on the transporter pad.

Wow, what a charming place to visit.

This sign confuses me. Why is it still plugged in? Could you get good take-out there a little while ago, but not anymore? And why is half-burnt-out neon indicative of dystopias?

They go into the underground part of the colony, which is completely unguarded for some reason, and are wandering the corridors with the colonists for a few minutes before an alarm goes off, and a group of people point weapons at them.
"Who are you?" demands a guy with a weapon.
"Members of Starfleet," says Riker. "We lost two people down here. Do you know where they are?"
"Maybe," the guy replies. "Come with us."
A yellow light suddenly glows from the chests of the group members, and Worf tells Riker that they're proximity detectors. The rivaling faction on this planet is coming after the group that just arrived. The away team follows the group.

Once inside some kind of inner sanctum, another guy opens some box that the group brought him. This leader guy is Hayne, and the box the group stole is full of fake-ass booze. Hayne distributes some booze to the members of the group, who then clear out so Hayne can talk to the away team.
"The Alliance has your Federation people," Hayne tells Riker. "We're the Coalition. We run one side of town, they run the other. They'll probably ask for a ransom for your friends."
Riker is skeptical, and guesses Hayne's meaning. "You're going to help us, but only for a price, is that it?"
"Yeah. We need phasers. Your ship won't miss a few of those."
Ugh, is this a nod to A Private Little War?
"That is also a ransom," Worf points out.
"The Alliance are going to collect your ransom, and then kill those guys anyway. At least if you sign up with our... consulting service, you stand a chance of getting them out alive. Also, we want the phasers to keep the peace."
"Bullshit," says Worf. "You guys are hella violent." He gestures at the box of boozeahol.
Hayne brushes this off as a prank. "We all have proximity detectors, so we can't get close to the Alliance. But they just discovered a huge stash of weapons, so getting phasers from you would even the score."
Yep. It's A Private Little War all over again.

"Whatever, you guys aren't peaceful," says Crusher. "A former crew member was born here and told us all about it."
When Hayne tries to brush it off as "ancient history," he asks where the crew member is now. Data admits the she was killed in the line of duty, and Hayne mutters something about that being as good a way to die as any.
 Riker is over it. He tells Hayne that he'll go back to Picard with Hayne's proposal. Hayne gives Riker a stolen bottle of boozeahol to offer Picard, and the away team beams out.
Once they leave, Hayne turns to the guy who lead the away team to the inner sanctum. This guy has lines and is in several scenes, but he's referred to in the credits as "Man #1," so I'm gonna call him Chris, because that's the actor's first name.
"Chris, find out everything you can about the Enterprise."
Chris nods.

Back on the bridge, Picard sniffs at the lifted boozeahol, unimpressed.
Riker explains that Hayner and the Coalition are prevented from causing any deep strikes to the Alliance, because of those proximity detectors. So the two groups raid each other for non-essential supplies for funsies.
"They sound like street thugs," says Picard. "I'm sure as shit not giving them weapons. But we don't have any other contacts, and no safe way in other than through them, so we'll just prop that door of communication open."
"Turkana calling," announces Worf.
They put the call on the viewscreen. It's Hayne and some girl.
"This is Ishara Yar," says Hayne. "Thought you'd like to meet her."
"Tasha was my sister," says Ishara.

Dramatic music! Commercial break!

We come back to the same moment.
"There's a saying," says Hayne. "The enemy of my enemy is my friend. I think it's in my best interest  to help you. No weapons exchange necessary. I just figured you might get stuck paying that ransom in weapons, and that wouldn't help me any. So Ishara can be your liaison, and help you get your people back."
Picard mutes the viewscreen, and everyone expresses their distrust for Hayne, for Ishara, and for the Coalition.
"He's totes lying," says Troi. "He's hoping he can manipulate you. I don't know if Ishara is who she says she is."
"I think we should explore other options as they come up," says Picard. "But this might be interesting, too, so I'm gonna agree to it, then go carefully."
He turns the sound back on, and agrees.
"Cool beans," says Hayne.

Data meets Ishara in the transporter room. She has one of those "what are you?" moments, and he explains that he is an android, and no, he was not built for fighting, as the E is not a ship of war.
She gives him a USB of the underground, and he takes her to the Obs Lounge.
As they walk through the corridors, he remarks that he never heard Tasha speak of her, even though he considered her a good friend. Ishara says she is not surprised, and asks if Tasha ever talked about the colony.
"Yeah, only bad stuff, though," he replies. "She said she was lucky to escape."
"That wasn't luck, it was cowardice," she says bitterly.
He pauses. "I would not apply that term to Tasha."
She looks away (guilty?) and he says he's seen Tasha make that face.
"It's been 15 years," she answers. "I don't even remember what she looked like."

They reach the Obs Lounge and are greeted with this:

"You don't believe I'm Tasha's sister," she guesses. "You can check my DNA."
"I will," Crusher assures her.
We get some background info on the colony: about 30 years earlier, shit fell apart and the colony broke into all these little factions. The government couldn't control them, and asked the Alliance and the Coalition (the two biggest) if they would be the police (that's... that's stupid). Everybody got a proximity device as a way to keep the peace (o...kay). With the proximity devices, the Alliance and Coalition decided that they didn't need the government anymore, so now it's just the two factions.
"It's kind of fucked up that Tasha just left you there," says Geordi, who is clearly trying to reconcile this story with what he knew of Tasha Yar.
"She didn't abandon me," Ishara corrects. "She tried to get me to go with her when she left, but I had already joined the Coalition, and they were now family. I couldn't leave."

Worf breaks in to say that there's a call, and Picard puts it on the screen.
It's Tan Tsu, the Arcos engineer they talked to earlier. "Hey, so I'm being held captive by the Alliance, and they want me to tell you that you have 20 hours to make reparations for showing up on Turkana, or they're gonna fuck up our shit."
Crusher tries to ask if she can send some medical Blues to check them out, but the transmission cuts out.
"Best to take that seriously," says Ishara. "They'll torture and kill those hostages. We've never gotten a hostage back alive from the Alliance."
Wow, that's comforting. The E basically hired someone to do a job, and the rep just admitted that they've never successfully done it.
"They could be held anywhere," says Ishara. "Their compound is large."
"There's a thing in the escape pod that monitors the signals and vitals of the crew members and tracks them," says Geordi. "If I could get the pod, then I could find out where they are."
"I know where it is," offers Ishara.

Down in Engineering, Ishara shows the maps of the underground Alliance colony to the others. They come up with a few suggestions for how to keep the Alliance busy while Geordi grabs something from the escape pod. But none of these work. The Alliance is likely to be armed and on the lookout for them.
"Transport me in," says Ishara. "My proximity device will set off their alarms, and I can draw their fire."
"No, that's dangerous," argues Riker.
Ishara is pissed. "I'm here to help you get shit done, whether it's dangerous or inconvenient is immaterial."
Riker angrily agrees to talk to Picard while Data takes Ishara to sick bay to get her DNA.

Down in sick bay, Crusher runs a light over Ishara's arm to take her DNA sample. She says that the computer keeps the crew's DNA on file, then she moves to her office to start running the tests.
Ishara muses that her sister only exists as a computer file now, and Data corrects her, by saying that she also exists as a memory in the minds of her friends.
Ishara asks how Tasha dies.
"It was a pretty shitty death," Data replies. "Not in battle, or for any good reason. Some asshole mud puddle wanted to prove how big his dick was, so he killed her off."
"Well, that sucks," says Ishara.
Riker comes in and says that Picard approved her plan.
Ishara is good enough not to gloat, just to kind of nod solemnly.

Later, a new away team beams down into the Alliance tunnels. They get into position, then Riker comms O'Brien to have him beam down Ishara. The alarms immediately go off. A camera follows Ishara around as she sneaks through the tunnels, phaser drawn.
Meanwhile, back at the escape pod, Geordi is having some trouble with some damaged parts of the pod. He tells Riker he can fix it within about ten minutes, and Riker decides that Ishara has been down here drawing fire long enough. He comms O'Brien to beam her out, but O'Brien tells Riker that Ishara has moved too close to a subspace transformer, which is masking her signal. Riker assigns Worf to cover Geordi, against Worf's judgment, and takes off after Ishara.

In the tunnels, Ishara's sneaking hasn't been enough, and she's shot by an Alliance member. He runs forward (to loot the body? to check for ID?), but forgets to check his six, and is stunned by Riker. Riker grabs Ishara as more Alliance members close in, and he pulls her away from the transformer, so O'Brien can beam them out.

The others look none too pleased.

Dramatic music! Commercial break!

Picard is in the office part of his quarters when Riker comes in to report that Ishara just cracked some ribs and will be fine. Picard reports that Crusher says that Ishara is Tasha's sister. Picard then tells Riker that he took some personal chances on the surface, and Riker explains that Tasha was lost on his away team, and he didn't want something similar happening to her sister on his watch. Picard chides him for allowing emotions to cloud his judgment, but then tells him that he did a good job.

Picard goes to see Ishara in sick bay, and thanks her for doing a good job and helping them on the surface.
She makes another comment deriding Tasha, and Picard will have none of it. He tells her about the first time he saw Tasha, when she was helping wounded colonists as a member of another crew, and he requested her transfer to the E. He tells Ishara that he never saw Tasha put her own safety above that of the crew, and follows up by saying he thinks that Ishara would be proud of who Tasha became, and vice versa.

Data and Ishara are on the bridge at Science looking at the map again. Worf walks by and mad-dogs Ishara, hard. Ishara quietly asks Data where Tasha worked, and he tells her it was at Tactical, where Worf works now. Then she asks if Tasha had a lot of friends.
"Yep," says Data. "She was pretty close to Worf, Riker and me."
"Oh. Are you able to have friends?" she asks.

"Of course," he replies.
Data's description of friendship is the best: "Among humans, friendship is sometimes less an emotional response and more a sense of familiarity. ...As I experience certain input sensory patterns my mental pathways become accustomed to them. The input is eventually anticipated and even missed when absent."

Everybody meets up in Engineering for a meeting about how to get those guys out. The hostages sitting in a room under a bunch of granite, so that keeps O'Brien from beaming them out. Geordi comes up with a plan with a drill, but he needs two hours to prep it. Ishara keeps looking at the map, and she says that she used to spend a bunch of time there before the Alliance took over that area, and if she didn't have her proximity device, she could just lead them in.
"We can take it out," says Data.
"Naw, it has a detonation device that explodes upon contact with air," she replies. "When you join a faction, you join for life."
"Okay, but we can put up a force field around the incision, fill it with xenon, and then shut down the device upon removal," he replies.
She looks uncertain.
"Up to you," Riker tells her.

Later in Ten Forward, Ishara and Data have drinks and Ishara fills in more holes in her backstory: her parents were killed in some cross fire right after she was born, and "some people" took care of them for a few months, but disappeared one day. Tasha took care of Ishara after that, and Ishara joined the Coalition. But Tasha hated the factions, blaming them for their parents' deaths.
"I'm starting to see why she chased this life, though," she smiles. "It's nice to be friends with someone without wondering how much you have to watch your back. I think of you as my friend, Data. I feel like I can trust you."
"Cool," says Data. "I think of you as my friend, too."
"I wouldn't have joined the Coalition if had known about this place 15 years ago." She pauses. "Maybe it's not too late."

That guy in the red sits perfectly still, staring at the 3-D chess set, for most of
 this scene.

Data goes to the ready room to talk to Picard. Troi is there. He tells them that Ishara wants to have her implant removed. They both express happiness at this. Then he tells them that Ishara also wants to leave the colony and apply to the Academy.
Picard: "Eh...."
Troi: "Um..."
"Does she know what all of that entails?" asks Picard. "I mean, those are big decisions, and this is the only way of life she's ever known."
"Should we leave her in this shithole?" Troi asks Picard.
"Well, no," he answers. "What do you think about this?"
"She feels ambiguous to me," Troi replies. "Like she has several loyalties. I don't know if leaving and joining Starfleet is what she actually wants to do."
"Hmmm, yeah," decides Picard. "Okay, we'll do the proximity device removal and proceed with the plan, but let's put a pin in this "joining Starfleet" thing, okay?"
They all agree, and Troi catches Data as they head out the door.
"Hey Data, you seem to have a lot of faith in Ishara."
"Well, yeah," Data replies. "She's our best plan to get our guys back. Also, I've gotten used to her."
D'awwwww. I want Data to get used to me.
Troi smiles.

Data goes back out to the Science station to Ishara. Apparently, he went in to talk to Picard for her. He tells her that it's all good, and she thanks him.
"It feels so different," she says. "On the colony, no one does anything for anybody else unless there's something in it for them."
"There is something in it for me," says Data. "Your continued presence on the ship."
She seems pleased. Then her face falls. "I need to tell Hayne and the Coalition. That's going to suck."
He offers her the Obs Lounge for privacy for the call, and she kisses him on the cheek.

Ishara goes into the Obs Lounge and calls Hayne.
"It's working," she tells him.
Aw, fuck you, Ishara.

Dramatic music! Commercial break!

Picard's Log 44225.3: "Ishara's implant came out okay, and without meaning to, she's become a member of the crew."

Ishara is in sick bay, getting her post-op check-up. She thanks Data for staying with her throughout the procedure. Crusher hands her the now-defunct proximity detector, saying that she might want to keep it, because it's been with her a long time.
Ishara gives the implant to Data, to remember her.
"Have you changed your mind about staying?" he asks.
"No, but something might go wrong on the mission," she replies.
Liar. Data is your buddy now, and you want him to remember you after you betray him.
Interesting that the implant is Security Gold.

Worf walks Ishara to the transporter room.
"I hear you're gonna join Starfleet," he says.
"If I'm lucky."
"No, we will be lucky."
Looks like Worf has changed his stance on Tasha's sister.

On the bridge, Geordi fires up the phaser-drill so he can make a tunnel through the granite to beam the team in.

O'Brien sends the away team down (Charlie's Angels again), and they take off down the corridor behind Ishara. The others are nervous, cautioning her to be careful and asking if she knows where she's going. She admits that's it's been a long time, and certain things have changed, but she's pretty sure she knows where she's going. She also tells them that they're really deep in Alliance territory, so no one is expecting them to be there.

She points out the chamber where the hostages are being kept. Riker stuns the guard and they blow the door. The away team rushes in to untie the hostages while Ishara goes looking for trouble. She ducks and hides behind corners when encountering Alliance members for the most part, but is taken by surprise and shoots one of them. He's just lucid enough to shoot the alarm box nearby and set it off before either dying or falling unconscious. 

The away team rushes back into the corridor with Tan Tsu and his pilot, noticing the alarm and the fallen Alliance member.
Worf, showing his new loyalty, suggests that Ishara was trying to draw the Alliance's fire as she did earlier. Riker tells him to get the hostages back to the beam-out site, and he and Data will find Ishara.

Ishara takes down another guy, then phasers a fusion generator.

Data finds her. "What are you doing? This generator is overloading. Why are you disabling the defense system? We already rescued the hostages."
Oh, Data. You are so sweet.
Stonily, she tells him that she doesn't care about the hostages, and that the Coalition has 3000 people at the perimeter of Alliance territory, and with the defense system down, they can swarm in and take out the Alliance.
"The Federation will be responsible for the deaths that occur if such a thing happens," he tells her. "That is not permissible."
"I don't want to have to kill you," she tells him.
Oh, honey. *patronizingly pats Ishara on the head*

Dramatic music! Commercial break!

"The explosion will kill both of us," he tells her.
"I'm okay dying for the Coalition," she replies. "But if you leave now, you'll survive."
"Was this your plan from the beginning?" he asks.
"Yes. We never would have gotten this far into Alliance territory without your help."
"That wasn't our intention. You lied to us."
"So fucking what?" she demands. "You got your hostages. Why do you care what we do?"
Because that's a violation of the PD, hon.
"You also lied about being my friend."
"That doesn't matter! The generator is going to blow! Get out of here!"
She tries to shoot Data, but Riker steps in and calls her name. She turns her attention to Riker, and Data stuns her. They both rush forward as she falls, and Data fixes the generator.

Data explains to Riker what Ishara was doing. Riker checks out her phaser.
"Set to kill," he says.
So yeah, she killed two guys.

Upstairs, a now-conscious Ishara enters the bridge with Worf. She's directed to stand next to Picard. Data ignores her. Hayne is on the viewscreen.
"Your plan failed," Picard tells Hayne.
"You presented an opportunity," he shrugs. "Give me back Ishara."
"Fuck off," snaps Riker. "She attacked two Federation officers."
"You don't have jurisdiction here," sneers Hayne.
"Bitch, you don't either!" Riker yells.
Hayne takes the same tack that Ishara did - that they shouldn't care what the Coalition does because they got their guys back.
Riker starts to argue, but Picard cuts him off.
"Data, take Ishara to the transporter room."
Everyone turns and looks at him. Worf is flabbergasted.

Hayne tries to sanctimoniously thank Picard and say that he was only trying to keep the peace, but Picard is all, "shut that mofo off," and Worf powers down the viewscreen. Data leads Ishara off the bridge.
"You're nicer than I would have been," says Riker.
"I'm fucking pissed as hell," replies Picard. "We all really wanted to like her, to see something of Tasha in her. We were all wearing blinders."

Data escorts Ishara to the transporter room.
O'Brien is unimpressed when she walks in.
"You're not saying anything," she points out.
"What do you want to talk about?" he asks dispassionately.
"I did what I had to, but I'm sorry if you got hurt."
"I'm an android. Not possible."
She gets on the pad, and tells him that she wasn't always lying to him, that the time they spent together was the closest she came to having friends.
He pauses, then gives a hella-cold answer: "Energize."
She beams away.

The E leaves orbit of Turkana IV.
Data rings the chime of, and receives entry into, Riker's quarters.
Riker is surprised to see him.
"It's been a few days since Ishara left, but I keep thinking about her," says Data. "It's like a feedback loop."
"Yeah, me too. We were all mislead." He invites Data to sit. "With all trust, there's a possibility of betrayal, but I don't think you anticipated that."
"Did you?" asks Data.
Riker shakes his head. "Nobody ever really does."
"So we should not trust others?"
"Nah, because if you don't trust people, then you can't have friendships. There's risk involved." He smiles, clearly indicating that it's worth it.
"Maybe it's lucky that I don't have the emotional risk," suggests Data.
"Maybe," agrees Riker soberly.

Data walks out into the corridor, holding the proximity device and thinking.

I have mixed feelings about this episode. On the one hand, I liked that Ishara has a different opinion on Tasha than the rest of the crew. Her insistence that her sister was a coward and a jerk makes Tasha more dimensional, as we are kind of seeing her through Ishara's eyes. Siblings are less likely to be complimentary to one another, especially after a log time apart. I liked that everybody was willing to see Ishara as another Tasha because they missed their friend, even after their initial distrust of her.
I liked the underground scenes, some of which utilized hand-held cameras, and which involved sneaking around through tunnels. It made for some interesting tension.
I liked Ishara's wardrobe. The jodhpur-like pants, leather jacket and cream colored blouse made for a slightly revolutionary uniform and looked good on the various Coalition members that we saw dressed in that way. I also liked the blue Deanna Troi-type jumpsuit with the different blue pieces on the chest and back (even if her severe haircut with pompador combined with this jumpsuit make her look like Gozer Gozerian).

Things that were douchey: Ishara getting her implant removed by Crusher. Now she can go into Alliance territory without setting off their alarms, giving the Coalition a leg up, even if the plan fell through.
Also douchey: Ishara and Hayne had no fucks to give if the Federation got blamed for the deaths of those Alliance members. There's a pretty fine line between doing what you need to survive, and being so self-centered that you'll let a (mostly) innocent party take the fall for your murders.
Annoying: things are set up in such a way that Chris seems like Hayne's Number One. But he just disappears once Ishara hits the scene. Would have been nice to see him again, even if he was just standing at ease in the background.
Where I find myself on the fence is with the ending. No, she was never going to be just added to the crew. But it's possible that they could have dropped her off somewhere, to start a new life and consider the possibility of Starfleet. She didn't even have to do that part. Just leaving that crappy colony would have been acceptable. I'm always disappointed when she elects to betray the E (and freaking Data) in order to go back to the Coalition. It's like watching a friend return to an abusive relationship because their partner is "really sorry." You know that it's going to end badly. And you see that the writers could have taken her in a thousand different directions. But instead they had her admit that she had been lying from the word Go, and then sadly tell Data that she had really wanted to be his friend.
I know that's what the episode was shooting for, for us to root for Ishara to leave her old, shitty life in favor of a better one. But Ishara and Tasha were very different people, and giving Ishara a happy ending would not have made the episode better.
So we can just sit here and be disappointed.



- Fun Facts:

- As of this episode, TNG had now officially made more episodes than TOS.
- Things related to that nod:
             - The last ship to have contact with Turkana IV was the USS Potemkin. The Potemkin was                      also a ship that was mentioned in TOS' final episode, Turnabout Intruder.
             - The title of this episode refers to the fact that TNG now has more episodes than TOS.
             - Camus II is mentioned. This planet was also featured in "Turnabout Intruder."
- This episode was supposed to be about gang warfare. Eh, I guess.
- This was Joe Menosky's first writing job for Star Trek.
- Director Robert Scheerer watched all of the Tasha Yar episodes before filming this one. He also recommended Beth Toussaint for the role of Ishara, after working with her previously.
- The Turkana underground sets are just redressed Borg ship interior sets.
- Hayne uses the phrase "the enemy of my enemy is my friend." Star Trek: Into Darkness reuses this phrase.
- Michael Piller thought that this episode was good, but kind of forgettable.
- Robert Scheerer said that this episode was fun to film, as the underground set was kind of labyrinthine, and they filmed a lot of those scenes with hand-held cameras, running around and blowing out doors.


Red deaths: 0
To date: 0
Gold deaths: 0
To date: 0

Blue deaths: 0
To date: 0
Unnamed color crew deaths: 0
To date: 11,000

Obnoxious Wes moments: 0
To date: 0

Legitimate Wes moments when he should have told someone to go fuck themselves: 0
To date: 0

Sassy Geordi moments: 0
To date: 0

Sassy Wes Moments: 0
To date: 0

Sassy Worf Moment: 1
To date: 2

Sassy Riker Moments: 0
To date: 2

Sassy Picard Moments: 0
To date: 3

Sassy NPC Moments: 0
To date: 0
Sassy Data Moments: 1
To date: 1
Sassy O'Brien Moments: 0
To date: 0
Sassy Crusher Moments: 0
To date: 1
Sassy Troi Moments: 0
To date: 1
Sassy Guest Star Moments: 0
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Number of times that it is mentioned that Data is an android: 4
To date: 7

Number of times that Troi reacts to someone else's feelings: 2
To date: 6

Number of times that Geordi "looks at something" with his VISOR: 0
To date: 0
Number of times when Data gives too much info and has to be told to shut up: 0
To date: 1
Picard Maneuvers: 0
To date: 8
Tea, Earl Grey: 0
To date: 2

Frick has beautiful pumpkin-colored eyes