ST:TNG Season Three, Episode Twenty-Three "Sarek"

ST:TNG Season Three, Episode Twenty-Three "Sarek"
Production Order: 23
Air Order: 23
Stardate: 43917.4
Original Air Date: May 14, 1990

Picard's Log 43917.4: "So this mysterious race called the Lagarans are thinking of joining the Federation. The E has been chosen to host the first meeting. But first, we're going to Vulcan to pick up Ambassador Sarek and his wife Perrin."

Okay, so let's go over some shit before we get into it: Sarek is 202 years old in this episode, and humans don't live as long as Vulcans. Cool? Cool. So there's an issue with the fact that his wife Amanda is human and clearly not going to die after he does. Sarek is a widower here. But he's also remarried, to another human named Perrin. I have mixed feelings about Perrin, but we'll get to that later. Right now, you just need to know that Amanda's died, so Sarek is remarried. (It was possibly a question of Jane Wyatt being available - she died in 2006, but had a mild stroke in the 1990's. Nothing appears in her filmography on Wikipedia after 1989.)

Anyway, Picard and Riker are dressed to the nines in their dress uniforms, only this time, the tights have been ditched for a looser-fitting pant. Looks pretty good. Go with that in the future.

They're chatting about how awe-inspiring Sarek is, how Riker has read all about him at the Academy, and what kinds of rad things he's done for the Federation. Picard mentions Coridan joining the Federation after Sarek's intervention, a direct continuity of the TOS episode "Journey to Babel." (I know you were waiting with bated breath for 24 years to know how that situation was gonna turn out. Don't worry - those of you who wagered "join" have some money coming to them.) He also talks about having met Sarek once as a young lieutenant and being completely tongue-tied. Its a rather charming moment:
Picard: "Standing in the presence of such history. I remember he spoke to me and I just stood there, grinning like an idiot."
Riker: "You? Tongue-tied?"
Picard: "Indeed. How do you make small talk with someone who shaped the Federation?"
D'awwwww. Bb Picard.
They discuss the rumors that Sarek is doing this one last ambassador gig before retiring. Picard says it'll be an awesome end to his career, because being allied with the Legarans is super-beneficial to the Federation.
They hit the transporter room, and O'Brien beams up two dudes, one human and one Vulcan. The human introduces himself as Ki (Kee) Mendrossen, Sarek's chief of staff. The Vulcan is Sakkath, Sarek's personal assistant.

"So... we have some delicate stuff to go over before the ambassador comes aboard," says Mendrossen.
Picard and Riker exchange a look, because WTH?
"Okay?" says Picard.
"The ambassador isn't young," says Mendrossen. "This shit is important, and he needs to conserve his strength. So, no fun ambassadorial stuff. Like, cancel any plans you made."
"Well, crap," says Riker. "We planned a Mozart concert for tonight cuz we heard he liked Mozart."
"Yeah, not doing that," replies Mendrossen. He's not as friendly now. "When he beams aboard, he needs to go straight to his quarters, and then be left alone until we get to Legara."
Picard looks put out that they rained on his ambassador parade, but assures Mendrossen that no one will disturb Sarek.
"Awesome!" Mendrossen is friendly again.
Sarek and Perrin beam aboard, and there's a mirroring of "Journey to Babel" here: Sarek introduces Perrin as "she who is my wife," just as he introduced Amanda to Kirk. And much like Kirk, Picard attempts to greet her as Mrs Sarek, which is incorrect. Like Amanda, Perrin smiles and instructs him to simply address her by her first name.

"Let's go see the conference room," says Sarek.
The others in his party, including his wife, all try to convince him to settle into his quarters first, and that Sakkath and Mendrossen can check on the conference room for him, but he's pretty insistent, telling Picard good-naturedly that his entourage worries too much about his health.
Riker offers to take them, and they leave.
The camera zooms in on Picard's worried face.

Dramatic music! Opening credits break!

When we return, Wes and Geordi are in the conference room setting up a vat of rainbow slime. Wes is in a hurry to get shit done, because he has a date with Ensign Dumont.
"Noice," says Geordi. "That takes guts."
Not sure if he means asking out Dumont in particular or dating in general, but he congratulates Wes on getting that date all the same.
The ambassadorial party arrives and Sarek is immediately annoyed. "You need to get rid of the furniture in here and take everything off the walls. I've been preparing for this meeting for 93 years! It has to be right!"
Picard is a bit taken aback, but he explains that Geordi and Wes aren't done. Mendrossen soothes Sarek, telling him that he's sure the E's crew will make everything up to spec before the meeting. Sakkath comes up behind Sarek and gently tells him that they should let Geordi and Wes continue their work.
"Okay," agrees Sarek. On his way out, he turns and tells them sharply that the walls are too bright.

Later on the bridge, Picard talks to Troi and Riker. Riker admits that with the way the entourage talked, he expected a frail old man, but Sarek is certainly not that.
Sassy Picard Moment: "I hope I'm that frail when I'm 202 years old."
They decide that maybe Mendrossen and Sakkath are kind of overprotective, and Picard admits that while he'll follow their instructions to leave Sarek alone, he was kind of hoping he could talk to the ambassador.
Troi asks if he is going to cancel the concert, and he says no, though he's disappointed that Sarek won't be there.
"You could ask if Perrin wants to go," she suggests.
"That's a good idea!"
Picard hops out of his chair to go call on Perrin.

Perrin is surprised when Picard turns up and says he's there to see her instead of Sarek. They exchange pleasantries, and she tells him that they were pleased to find out that the E would be hosting.
Perrin: "My husband has taken an interest in your career. He finds it to be... satisfactory."
Picard: "My word. High praise from a Vulcan."
Lol.
He invites her and Sarek to the Mozart concert, and she says she isn't sure if her husband can go, but maybe she will.
"Cool," he says, leaving. "Hope to see you there."
She looks concerned, and goes to find Sarek, who is in another room.
She guesses that he is having trouble meditating, as he has been for a few weeks.
He's irritated, and sends her away.

Geordi and Wes are still setting up the goo pool, only the lights are down and there's nothing on the walls.
"Can I fucking go?" demands Wes.
"Why? It's not like you're gonna get anywhere with Ensign Dumont," replies Geordi.
"At least I'm not spending the night with a good book, like some people."
"Fuck off, pissant. She's way out of your league."
And a heated argument almost comes to blows:
Wes: "Since when did you become such an expert on women?"
Geordi: "Compared to you, every male on this ship is an expert on women!"
Wes: "Well, at least I don't have to find my women on the holodeck!"

Daaaaamn, how'd he know about that?
Riker strides in and catches them shouting at one another, asking them if there's something going on. Wes asks to be excused, then stomps out without waiting for an answer.
"Everything okay?" Riker asks coldly.
"Yep," snaps Geordi.
Zoom-in on a concerned Riker!

Dramatic music! Commercial break!

We jump forward to the concert. Data and his musician friends are warming up while Riker and Picard take their seats. Picard tells Riker about Worf putting an ensign on report for insubordination, and Riker is surprised, because that ensign has been an awesome crew member thus far. Riker mentions the argument he broke up between Geordi and Wes.
The doors whoosh open, and Sarek and his party step in.
"Sweet, you came!" says Picard.
"Yeah, Perrin suggested it would be a good diversion. She can be quite... logical when she wants to be," says Sarek, with a small smile.
Not to be left out and wanting the others to think that he had some say in the matter, Mendrossen pipes up, "Looks like the ambassador had more free time than we thought!"
Picard introduces Data, who tells them that he's been programmed with the techniques of over 300 different violinists, and lists a few, asking if they have a preference. Perrin selects one, and I kind of like that in the future, people might have strong opinions on violinists.

The costumes for this episode are absolutely killing it.

The concert begins, and everyone seems to be enjoying themselves. We skip to a new song, one that is dramatic and sad. Sakkath leans forward in his chair to stare at Sarek's profile.

Troi, sitting behind Sakkath, looks at Sarek as well. Sakkath whispers to Medrossen, who glances at Sarek. Troi looks between them. A few tears fall from Sarek's eyes, and when he turns to Perrin, she wipes them away.

Picard takes notice. The group gets up and leaves quietly. Troi glances at Picard. We zoom in on his face, worried.

Wes goes to see his mom in her office, as she's summoned him there.
"Hey, what's up?" he asks.
"You weren't at the concert," she says coldly.
He says lightly that he told her he might go, but his date wanted to go to the arboretum instead.
"Captain Picard asked where you were," she replies. "I don't like making excuses for you."
The argument gets heated on her end. Wes is baffled, because he didn't expect her to get angry over this. The concert wasn't an official function. He suggests that she might be overreacting and turns away.
She grabs his arm. "Where are you going?"
"Away from you!" he replies, alarmed.
And she fucking slaps him.
Damn, Beverly. I know he sometimes says asshole-ish things out of character, but this is not one of those times.

"I slapped him!" wails Crusher to Troi. "I've never hit my kid!"
She's in Troi's office.
Troi has some idea of what's going on. "What were you thinking when you hit him?'
"Nothing. I was just super pissed."
"Did he provoke you?"
"No. I was just suddenly enraged. For no reason."
"Yeah, I've heard that from ten different people over the last two days."

Data gives Sakkath a tour of the bridge. "The captain, Commander Riker, and Counselor Troi sit in these seats."
"Yeah, about that," says Sakkath. "Counselor Troi is a Betazoid?"
"Half," replies Data. "She's an empath rather than a telepath."
"Hmmm. And how good are Picard's diplomacy skills? Does he know the Legarans well? Could he take over if need be?"
"That's...a weird question," says Data. "Do you think the ambassador won't be able to do it?"
"No," says Sakkath quickly. "Just thinking about how we could fix things if something went awry. Anyway, thanks for the tour."
He high-tails it off the bridge, leaving a confused Data behind.

A bunch of people are down in Ten Forward. O'Brien and another Gold are leaving the bar to sit at a table, when a group of Blues sits down at that same table.
"Yo," says O'Brien. "That's our table."
"Don't see your name on it," sneers the Blue.
Sensing an issue arising, Geordi steps up to them. "Hey, plenty of tables here."
"That's true," admits O'Brien, his sails deflating somewhat.

In the corridor, Riker is talking to Worf about his accusations of insubordination.
"Is it just me," asks Riker, "or have tempers become a little frayed on the ship lately?"
"I hadn't noticed," says Worf in a clipped tone.
The door to Ten Forward opens in front of them.

Sassy Worf Moment: "I see what you mean."
He pages security to Ten Forward, then takes Geordi's place between two brawling Golds.
"Geordi, WTF?" demands Riker.
"Dunno!" calls Geordi, just before he gets punched.

Dramatic music! Commercial break!

In the aftermath of the Ten Forward brawl, wait staff pick up broken tables and Crusher checks for injuries.
"WTH?" demands Picard.
"There's a lot of this going around," says Troi. "All over the ship, people are just randomly getting violent."
"Like it's contagious?" asks an alarmed Picard.
"Yeah," says Crusher. "Only I've checked the water supply, the replicators, the air... all nothing."
"That's shit timing," says Picard. "I want the ambassador isolated from this."
Crusher and Troi look guilty.
"So... this stuff started pretty much when Sarek and his entourage beamed over," says Crusher.
The look Picard gives her says "you're shitting me."

Crusher and Troi take Picard back to Crusher's office to talk to him privately.
"Something happened at the concert," says Troi. "I sensed it."
"Yeah, he cried," nods Picard. "It's freaking weird for a Vulcan to cry."
"Eh," says Troi. "They have the same basic emotions as us, they just learned to repress them. But it felt like he's losing control over things."
"There's a rare thing that Vulcans can get when they're 200 or more years old," says Crusher. "It's called Bendii Syndrome. They have sudden bursts of emotion, mostly irrational anger. Eventually, they lose all control of their emotions."
Picard is horrified. "That sounds like it would be highly offensive to a Vulcan. Control of emotions is their thing." He turns to Troi. "How could he affect the crew?"
"Vulcans are telepathic," she replies. "I think he's projecting his emotional outbursts onto people unintentionally."
He asks about the Legarans, and Troi says that when they come onboard, they could also be affected. Frantic, he asks Crusher if there's a cure.
"No," she says. "I mean, I could test him, by growing a culture. But it would take a few days."
"Shit, I have 12 hours," he laments.

Picard asks Mendrossen into the ready room to ask him to delay the conference.
"Fuck off," replies Mendrossen. "The ambassador is perfectly healthy."
And ugh, he tries to gaslight Picard. Why is everybody in the future such a fucking asshole?
"You're crazy, Picard. If this is true, why are Perrin and I not affected?"
"Dunno," says Picard. "Some people on board haven't been affected, either. But it's random. And you don't have to be standing right next to him."
Mendrossen decides to threaten Picard and gaslight him some more for good measure, saying that he won't tell the ambassador that Picard suspects him of losing his mind. "...for now," he adds, implying that he'll probably say something later, and also that accusing a powerful man of such a thing on the eve of his last triumph and retirement is dangerous, and that Picard should consider his career.
Mendrossen leaves.
"Oh, fuck me," sighs Picard. He hits his comm badge. "Data, can you come here?"

Data goes to the conference room, where Sakkath is staring into the vat of rainbow sludge. Data gets right to the point.
"Okay, brosef: the captain doesn't think that Sarek is well enough to do this mission. Do you?"
"Why would you think I doubt the ambassador's abilities?" Sakkath deflects.
"Because you indirectly asked me about the diplomatic abilities of Picard and Troi."
Sakkath considers this, then pleads whatever the Vulcans have that's similar to the fifth. "I'm honor-bound to help Sarek complete this mission."
That's not an answer, and they both know it. "Uh-huh. But along with your honor to Sarek, you also have a duty to the Federation. And is it logical to continue the mission at this point?"
Ah, there we go. Appeal to logic.
Sakkath pauses. "Yeaaahh, tell the captain that this mission has gone sideways."

On the bridge, Data tells Picard and Riker that thus far, Sakkath has been using his telepathic abilities to shore up Sarek's emotional control. But there's been a lot of stress around this conference, making it harder. Picard laments that, even with all of this technology they have, they're still susceptible to the affects of old age.
Data admits confusion that Sarek, a logical man, cannot see the symptoms of Bendii Syndrome.
"He probably doesn't want to," says Picard quietly. "And the people closest to him are shielding him from it, thinking they're protecting him."
"Somebody has to tell him," says Riker.
"Ugh, what a shitty job," laments Picard. "I guess I gotta do it. Don't want to, though."
Riker gets irrationally angry. "Why the hell is everyone protecting this guy? Even you!"
"You want me to go down there and destroy him?"
And suddenly, they're screaming at each other.
"Whoa, slow your roll!" says Data.
They calm down. Picard says he'll go right away.

Picard goes to Sarek's quarters, where he tries to break the news to Perrin. She's pretty pissed off, and declares that Bendii Syndrome is more myth than fact, and that there hasn't really been a case of it in her husband's lifetime.
"He's sick," says Picard. "Sakkath has been helping him, holding his mind together during this mission and maybe longer."
"Sakkath is a dumb child," she says dismissively.
"I need to talk to Sarek," he insists.
Her tune changes from angry denial to panic. "Please don't do this to him."
But too late. Sarek, Mendrossen and Sakkath have come into the room behind her.
"Do what to me?"
She looks away.

Dramatic music! Commercial break!

But Sarek has caught more of their conversation than they thought. He knows that Picard thinks he has Bendii Syndrome.
"I've been accused of a lot of things in my life," muses Sarek. "An excess of emotion is not one of them."
His entourage tries to deflect the discussion. Mendrossen asks to talk to Picard alone. Perrin insists that this conversation is nonsense.
"Nope, I want Captain Picard to have faith in my abilities," says Sarek. "I'll take the test for Bendii Syndrome."
"Yeah, we wouldn't get the results from that test for a few days," says Picard. "We need to postpone the conference."
"NO!" says Sarek. Everybody jumps. Realizing that he needs to simmer down, Sarek continues calmly. "My health is perfect."
"Um, then why is Sakkath bolstering your ability to control your emotions? He's propping you up."
"Is that true?" asks Sarek.
"Hell no!" says Mendrossen.
Sarek suspects that Mendrossen has gone Yes Man on him, and he asks if Perrin knew about this.
She falters, says nothing.
"Well?" he asks Sakkath.
Sakkath admits to using his "limited abilities" to help Sarek remain in control.
"That's no longer necessary," says Sarek.
Sakkath pauses. "That would not be wise," he says evenly.
Shit, dude. Imagine telling Sarek - Sarek, FFS! - that his choice of action would not be wise.
"Maybe not," says Sarek. "But you're gonna knock it off, all the same."
Sakkath leaves, and Sarek requests that the others go as well, so that he can talk to Picard alone.

Mendrossen looks like he hopes to catch Sakkath in a dark alley later.

Picard expresses the concern that he has embarrassed Sarek, who declares that that emotion doesn't affect him.
"I think it does," says Picard quietly.
"Okay, give me your arguments," says Sarek calmly. "I'll consider them."
Picard tells him about the rash of angry outbursts on the ship, and that they think it is caused by Sarek's Bendii Syndrome. Sarek counters with the idea that sometimes a ship will encounter unexplained phenomena. Picard concedes that it could be that, and says that Crusher is continuing to look at other causes.
"But this shit started when you guys came on board."
"Coincidence."
"Your wife and chief of staff are isolating you from everyone else."
"You're just reacting to their molly-coddling me."
"Okay, but is Sakkath being lead by emotion, too?"
"He is young! An inexperienced child!" Sarek is getting a bit hot under the collar now. "I don't need his help. He was wrong about that."
"Then why did you need it at the concert? You were crying."
"You're exaggerating," accuses Sarek. "There was only one tear!"
"Dude. You were still emotional over the music. Is it logical for a Vulcan to cry?"
Sarek starts spewing excuses as fast as he can think of them... it was late, he was tired, this mission is stressful, the Legarans only trust him to do this mission...

Unfortunately, Picard realizes that the only way to solve this is to push Sarek over the edge, so that he realizes exactly what is happening. He has to goad him into realizing the truth.
"Sarek of Vulcan would never shy away from the truth! Is that anger in your voice?"
"It is illogical for a Vulcan to feel anger!" Sarek yells. "ILLOGICAL! ILLOGICAL! ILLOGICAL! ILLOGICAL!"
I'd make a joke about how similar this is to Kirk giving a computer an existential crisis, but this shit is not funny. It's devastating. Picard must make an important, dignified man come to grips with the reality that age has caused him to lose his mind, little by little. And that it will not improve as time goes on. It will most likely get worse.

Dramatic music. Commercial break.

Picard's Log, supplemental: "We're three hours out from Legara, and we have no one to run our negotiations."

Picard stares forlornly out the window in his ready room. Riker comes in to ask if he wants Worf to contact the Legaran ambassador, but Picard says no. He will have to do it himself, and make sure they know exactly why the conference is being canceled.
"You did the right thing," Riker tells him.
Picard looks like he wants to crawl in a hole to die.
Perrin comes in and asks to speak to Picard alone. Riker leaves. As soon as the door closes, she begs Picard to reconsider, to say that Sarek is well enough to run the conference, and to let him have this one last great mission before retiring. To save face.
"He doesn't have to save face," argues Picard. "He's a great man, and he remains a great man."
Perrin admits that she and Mendrossen weren't looking to lie to anyone. Sarek's condition started gradually, so they covered it up gradually. And they convinced themselves that he could do this one last thing and then retire and no one would be the wiser.
"I want to say yes, but I can't."
Perrin has an idea.

Picard meets with Sarek in the conference room to discuss Perrin's idea: a mind-meld between the two of them. Sarek would gain the emotional stability of Picard, finish the treaty with the Legarans, complete the mission, and retire with no one being the wiser. Picard, on the other hand, would take over Sarek's emotions for a few hours.
"Vulcan emotions are fierce," Sarek protests. "They'll overwhelm you."
"It's the only logical solution," says Picard quietly.
Sarek nods. "Your courage honors me."

They meet up in the office part of Picard's quarters, just before the conference begins. Picard will hide out here, monitored by Dr Crusher. She's not thrilled about this idea, but recognizes that it's going to happen whether she likes it or not. Before Sarek showed up, Picard admitted to her that he was nervous about doing this, and thanked her for being there.
Sarek comes in and performs the mind-meld.

The E arrives at Legara, and a composed Sarek exits the lift to the bridge, addressing Riker as Number One, and asking him to let the Legarans know he is ready to meet with them.
In the next small scene, Riker walks Sarek to the conference room.
"Is Picard okay?" he asks.
"Don't worry, Number One."
"And the ambassador?"
"I am myself again. It has been a long time."
Sarek disappears through the door.

Picard is less composed. He's running the full spectrum of intense emotion, anger and despair and frustration, about aging, about losing control, about wanting to lose that control so he can just feel things, about the struggle to gain a handle over the desire to feel. He sobs about being old, about dead friends, about studying for so long to keep his emotions in check, and to have it all washed away.

Crusher slaps the table to bring him back to the present, but it only lasts a moment.
He begins sobbing, telling his wives how much he loves them and his son, how much he's always wanted to let them know, how he could not, because that is not the Vulcan way.
Crusher touches his shoulder, and he tells her how difficult this is.
"The anguish of the man... the regrets. I can't hold it in."

Riker's Log 43920.7: "The negotiations have been successfully completed."

Picard and Riker go to the transporter room. Another Federation ship has arrived to take Sarek and his group back to Vulcan.
Mendrossen and Sakkath thank the others for their hospitality and help. Sakkath says that now that the conference has passed, it'll be easier for him to help Sarek hold things together until they get home.
"What will happen to Sarek once you get back?" asks Riker.
"Bendii Syndrome is irreversible, but the research always continues," says Mendrossen.
Basically... he'll just continue to get worse.
They get on the transporter pad. Picard approaches Perrin, and she thanks him as well, but he's a bit tongue-tied here. He just spent several hours experiencing the depths of emotion that this woman's husband has for her, and it's obvious that he's not only struggling with whether or not he should tell her, but if he does, how much? How can he even express that? He was privy to all of Sarek's secrets, and wonders what to reveal.
Picard finds his voice. "He loves you... very much."
She smiles. "I know."

Sarek enters. He formally announces his intentions to leave, and adds that he doesn't think he and Picard will meet again. Picard replies that he hopes that that isn't true.
"We'll always carry the best parts of each other inside of us," says Sarek.
"I think I got the better deal there," Picard smiles.
And because this show isn't satisfied that I've felt enough devastation watching Picard trying to keep Sarek's emotions in check -

Fucking ninjas.

*sniffle*

*******

This episode is amazing. Hard to watch and horrific to imagine the endgame, but amazing all the same. It started out with the idea that an important official or Starfleet dignitary would have a brush with mental health during some kind of negotiation, and gradually the thought that a Vulcan would be hit hardest by this kind of illness was proposed. They finally decided that the decline of Sarek would have the most impact. The idea then seems to have been tabled for a bit. Michael Piller recalled that by the time Gene Rod came around to the story and gave his blessing for the filming of it. there were two write-ups, one with Sarek and one with another Vulcan. Gene told them to go with Sarek, and Piller recalls feeling that Gene also seemed to be traveling down a similar path as Sarek at that point, getting on in years, not being able to accomplish what he had previously, feeling his age in that way that we all get to feeling from time to time.

Here, we see part of what makes Star Trek and science-fiction so relatable: the tie-into something that occurs now, occurring in the future. A great person going into decline can make for a good story overall, but they purposefully selected someone from a race that values control and composure, and made his experience about the loss of those things, as well as dignity. We have all seen this before, either in ourselves or in loved ones. It is never easy to watch. And we have old, familiar ties to Sarek, making it that much harder to deal with. 

The side-plot of Sarek's entourage holding him together and keeping it secret from even himself is not new or unexpected. It is dangerous though, as when life imitates art, and a politician's staff keep the secret from the politician himself and his voters from hearing the truth. On some level they felt like they were doing Sarek a kindness by keeping their suspicions to themselves, but what if early intervention might have eased his journey going forward, and they were all stuck in denial mode? Picard's remark to Data that people will sometimes ignore obvious clues to bad stuff in their own lives also rings true. We've all ignored the warning signs that we were getting sick, but went to work anyway, thinking it was just a cold and we could power through, but then you end up barfing on the person sitting next to you in some inane meeting. It seems like the worse an outcome the illness may have, the more we'll deny it, like it's hardwired in us. "Can't have a serious, spreading cancer. I have shit to do." Sarek's situation was bad enough that Picard ended up having to goad him into believing it.

As horrible as it is, I'm glad they didn't take the easy way out and have Sarek head back to Vulcan for some kind of easy treatment and cure. Real life is messier than that. I dislike that when Riker asks Mendrossen what will happen to Sarek when the reach Vulcan and all he can say is that research is ongoing, but what are you going to do? When the odds of getting better are very much against, about the best one can say is "research is ongoing." They've stopped lying to themselves and to Sarek, so why sugarcoat it?

Outside of the next TOS movie, we'll see Sarek just once more, and it won't be fun. But aging is a part of life. One that sucks sometimes, but if we're lucky, we'll get to experience it.

A quick note here about Perrin: I'm on the fence about her. She seems to really love Sarek, and vice-versa, but I have a tough time accepting her because my Star Trek OTP is Sarek + Amanda. I dislike seeing him with someone else, even if that person was written to be a sympathetic character. Shielding one's loved ones from harm or emotional turmoil is a pretty human thing to do, even if it was a bad idea, and I don't fault her for that. In fact, the next time we see her, she'll have an opinion that I don't agree with at all, but I really can't fault her for that, either. I want Amanda back, but I can't have her, so I guess I'll take Perrin instead.

In all, I don't really have any criticism of this episode. The acting by Mark Lenard and Patrick Stewart is amazing, the costumes fantastic, and the story one that is tough but well-handled.

Fun Facts:
- Writer Ira Steven Behr wanted to include more references to Spock, but at the time there was a kind of moratorium against talking about TOS characters on TNG. They wanted TNG to stand on it's own, which I get, but man, TOS is the Federation's history, and you can only get away with that so much. Behr broke the rules a bit by mentioning Spock and Amanda near the end of this episode. Apparently, he had to argue for days to get that mention.

- There's a weird ambiguity at the beginning of this episode where Picard and Riker are talking about how Picard at met Sarek "at his son's wedding." What... what wedding? Sarek had two sons, Spock and Fucking Sybok (yep, gonna start referring to him as Fucking Sybok, cuz that's what I think of that shit). He could not have met Sarek at Fucking Sybok's wedding because Picard had said that he was a lieutenant at the time, making the window for said wedding fall within a very specific time frame. Fucking Sybok died unmarried about 50 years prior to that time frame. Leaving Spock. Whom Memory Alpha also lists as unmarried. It's possible that this episode was referring to that ditched side plot in the fourth movie, where a tryst between teenage Spock and Saavik left her pregnant with his kid, and they were supposed to get married at some point, but again, that plot was ditched during the filming of movie four. The filming of movie four occurred a full four years before the filming of this episode, so why even mention it? Did they leave it open so TOS could fill in the blanks later with some random wedding between Spock and Kirk or some shit? Did they plan on introducing a new son of Sarek besides the other two? Like they did with movie five when they were all "Spock has a half-brother, lol"? I mean, they kind of made that shit so later in Discovery, but spoilers, and it also doesn't make that line in this episode true.

- Speaking of the unsolved mysteries of Memory Alpha, they can't seem to get their shit together concerning Amanda Grayson. The basic things we can piece together are that she was born in the early 2200's, met and married Sarek in the late 2220's, and had Spock in 2230. Good to go there. But they're adding to her story on Discovery, and new stuff has shown up on the wiki concerning those storylines. Her death date has been set as 2366, which... has got to be a typo of some kind. When you click on that year, it doesn't even list her death. Also, she's 160+ years old? I mean, McCoy toured the Enterprise-D at 137 years old, but he was a good 20-30 years younger than Amanda. Apocrypha places McCoy as still being alive at 180+ due to transplants and health treatments, so we know it's oddly possible for Amanda to continue to live until this age, but as the story goes, she had died quite a few years before this episode takes place... in 2366. So she died a few years earlier, and Spock and Perrin have been married for a while, but she's also alive until this same year? Part of me is like, "That's definitely a typo," but the other part of me is like, "Yeah, but I skipped over all of that new Discovery stuff, and who knows what they put in there, and also, Kirk's death date is super fucked-up because this is Star Trek, Spock has four fucking death dates listed on his wiki page. If 2366 is a typo, I could never pin down the actual year. If that is the right year, then... just STAHP, Star Trek.

 

- This is the first time that a Vulcan mind-meld occurs on TNG.
- The music that starts out the concert is Mozart, but the song playing when Sarek begins crying is Sextet #1 in B-Flat Minor by Johannes Brahms.
- The decoration on Picard's chair is the tapestry given to him by the Mintakans in "Who watches the Watchers."
- The scene where Picard experiences Sarek's emotions mirrors Spock's breakdown in "The Naked Time." Both scenes were done in one take.

Red deaths: 0
To date: 1

Gold deaths: 0
To date: 1

Blue deaths: 0
To date: 1
Unnamed color crew deaths: 0
To date: 127

Obnoxious Wes moments: 0
To date: 1

Legitimate Wes moments when he should have told someone to go fuck themselves: 0
To date: 0

Sassy Geordi moments: 0
To date: 11

Sassy Wes Moments: 0
To date: 0

Sassy Worf Moment: 1
To date: 8

Sassy Riker Moments: 0
To date: 13

Sassy Picard Moments: 1
To date: 12

Sassy NPC Moments: 0
To date: 0
Sassy Data Moments: 0
To date: 6
Sassy O'Brien Moments: 0
To date: 0
Sassy Crusher Moments: 0
To date: 2
Sassy Troi Moments: 0
To date: 5
Sassy Guest Star Moments: 0
To date: 1

Number of times that it is mentioned that Data is an android: 0
To date: 28

Number of times that Troi reacts to someone else's feelings: 1
To date: 26

Number of times that Geordi "looks at something" with his VISOR: 0
To date: 5
Number of times when Data gives too much info and has to be told to shut up: 0
To date: 3
Picard maneuvers: 3
To date: 34
Tea, Earl Grey:
To date: 4

Heated throw is life

ST:TNG Season Three, Episode Twenty-Two "The Most Toys"

ST:TNG Season Three, Episode Twenty-Two "The Most Toys"
Production Order: 22
Air Order: 22
Stardate: 43872.2
Original Air Date: May 7, 1990

Picard's Log 43872.2: "The Federation colony on Beta Agni 2 is having a water supply contamination problem, and because we're not like the dick government of Flint, Michigan, we're going to do something about it immediately. To do this, we need to get a bunch of hytritium. It's hella unstable and can't go through the transporters, so we've sent Commander Data over to shuttle the chemicals back and forth between our ship and that of the trader, Kivas Fajo."

Data calls the E to say that they're loading the last shipment, and Picard then tells Worf to tell Beta Agni 2 that they'll be there in 16 hours, because water contamination should be taken care of as soon as fucking possible.

On the trader ship, the lady in charge asks Data to give a thumbprint saying that he received the shipment, and its rather a lot like when the UPS guy delivers something and asks for a digital signature, so good job for copying, UPS. I like it when real-life imitates Star Trek tech. Only when he pushes his thumb to the padd, it electrocutes him and he shuts down. That is not like UPS. Once he's down, the HBIC scans him and starts telling her little minion guys how much of each kind of material Data's frame contains.

The shuttle leaves the Jovis, the trader ship, and heads back to the E. The bridge monitors the transfer of the chemicals from their end, and everything is fine. But then the shuttle blows. Like completely. Everyone stares stunned.
"Data," says Worf.

Dramatic music! Opening credits break!

Picard's Log, supplemental: "We can't figure out what happened, but Data has been lost in a shuttle accident."

On the bridge, the crew has skipped straight to the manic anger stage of grief. They're trying to figure out what went wrong, but are angry AF.
Picard starts to bark that he wants to talk to the trader, Fajo, but Worf reports that Fajo is already calling.
Fajo goes up on the viewscreen, and there's something inherently asshole-ish about him. He asks, concerned, what happened, and when Picard barks back that he doesn't know, Fajo asks if Data made it.
"NO," says Picard angrily.
Fajo offers his condolences, and Picard requests the Jovis' sensor records.
"They're not great compared to yours," replies Fajo.
"Just fucking give them to me."
"Sure, no problem." Fajo snaps his fingers at someone off-screen, then makes a sort of "get it done" gesture, like douchebags make at waiters.
Worf reports that they got the records, and Picard asks how much hytritium they got.
"Like... just enough, but there won't be extra if there's a mistake," says Geordi.
"Where can we get more?" Picard demands of Fajo.
"Man, I dunno. I think they have some at (place) three weeks away. Pretty much nobody sells it anymore, because it's dangerous. I'll probably stop, too."
Picard sighs, thanks Fajo, and hangs up.

Because they can't afford the delay, they decide to go straight to Beta Agni. Riker tells Picard that there's a Federation ship near the hytritium site, and he'll let them know the E may need some help if they don't have enough of the chemical to clear the water. Picard is annoyed that they have to leave the place where Data was killed, but he still has to clean up that water supply, so they take off.

Meanwhile, Data wakes up in some weird room filled with vases and a cool couch. He's still in the same position - pressing his thumb to a padd that is no longer there - and I'm mostly finding myself asking how many of those minion dudes it took to move Data. He's not a light guy.
He's also missing his com badge.

Fajo and that HBIC, Varria, come in. Fajo is dancing around Data and can hardly contain himself.
"Why am I here?" asks Data normally.
Fajo starts talking to Data as though he's not only deaf, but also doesn't speak his language: loudly, with wild gestures, and simplified language. "It. Took. Great. Effort, effort. To bring you here."
"Okay, and why am I here?" Data repeats.
"For my enjoyment."
"So I'm a captive?"
Pretty much, yeah.
"That's such an inappropriate word," purrs Fajo.
It's really not.
"May I call you Data?"
"That is my name, asshole."
"You'll totally be catered to, and all of your wishes will be fulfilled."
So he's still your slave, but you're going to cover up for the abuse and captivity by pretending to spoil him. Sounds like Data just got himself a 1950's husband. Yaaaay.
"I can't stay here," Data points out. "Even if I wanted to, I'm still in Starfleet which means I just can't walk away."
"It's so polite!" Fajo gushes to Varria.
Bitches, we have been over this before: Data is not an it.

Realizing that Fajo is not going to relent and let him go, Data announces that he intends to escape. He tries to force the door, and Fajo reveals that it's designed to only accept certain DNA patterns as a key. Which means that if there's a fire and you're inside without that person, you will probably be fried to a crisp. Seems safe.
Next, he tries to force Fajo to open the door for him, but Fajo is wearing some kind of personal forcefield, and Data gets thrown across the room.
"Why do you want me so bad?" demands Data.
Fajo, it seems, is a collector: he collects rare stuff from across the galaxy, and he starts to show Data different stuff in the room. Art, vases, alien tech, a Roger Maris baseball card.
He opens the little case, and Data sniffs.
"The scent is bubble gum. I've had it preserved."
Fajo looks like he's about to cum at thoughts of himself and how clever he is.
I have to admit, I'm impressed by his archival efforts. Still an asshole, though.
He also shows Data this little animal that people think is extinct. He owns the last one, and instead of giving it to science to see if they can resurrect the species, he's keeping it for himself in a little glass case on his ship.
He shows Data a chair. "This is your place of honor. Sit there!"
"No thanks."
Fajo starts gushing to Varria how his frenemy is going to be super jealous because now he has Data. Figures. All these douchecanoes have are frenemies.

Data starts to point out what kinds of laws Fajo is breaking, and the trader admits that he knows exactly how evil he is, but he doesn't care.
"Get over it. I did."
Varria picks up a message and reports to Fajo that some group has gotten back to him about some spices he offered, and he's suddenly explosively pissed that he's being interrupted right the fuck now.
But he and Varria leave. On their way out, Varria turns and gives Data a "Lol, fuck you" smirk.

Wes and Geordi go to Data's quarters to look at his stuff and feel sad. I don't think they're actually doing anything like cleaning them out for a future crew member or anything like that, I think they're just wandering around in his space. They talk about his hobbies and who should get his personal effects. They take out the hologram of Tasha Yar and turn it on. They admire his medals from Starfleet.
"I just keep thinking about the accident," admits Geordi. "What did I miss?"

In the slave room, Data is examining some artifacts. Varria comes in with a set of clothes for him.
"Fajo says to wear this and sit in your chair," she commands.
"Yeah, no," he replies. "Sounds like Fajo has no moral qualms about any of this?"
"Fajo has no moral qualms, period. And he'll give you some really bad reasons to obey him."
"I don't need to," Data answers. "My friends will find me."
"They aren't even looking." She details how they scanned Data and added his component elements to the shuttle in the same amounts, so that scanning the debris will show them that Data is completely destroyed.
"Do you have moral qualms about this?" he asks.
She's pretty pissed at this. "Is it part of your programming to seek out vulnerabilities in your enemies?"
"Yes. Are you my enemy?"
She's annoyed, but tells Data that no one on the ship will help him escape, because they all obey Fajo. "His rewards for loyalty are lavish. His punishments are equally... lavish."
She touches her face in a way that makes clear that the weird make-up on her face is actually supposed to be scarring and reconstruction rather than to indicate that she's an alien. Or maybe she's an alien with a reconstructed face. I dunno. Either way, Fajo fucked her up, and she "learned her lesson."
Lovely.
And suddenly, she's back to being Head Bitch in Charge. "Face it, android. He has you."
She throws the clothes on the couch and storms out.
"Looks like he has us both," remarks Data.
She gives him a look before the door closes.

Geordi goes to the ready room to complain to Riker and Picard that he should be finding something weird going on with the shuttle accident, but can't find anything.
"It can't be pilot error, because, well, it's Data. If he were here, he'd tell us those astronomical odds."
Riker suggests that Geordi needs to get some sleep and come back at it with fresh eyes.
"The data from the sensors won't be different when I get up again," Geordi argues.
"Okay, look," says Picard. "You can keep going with your investigation, but we'll be at Beta Agni soon, and I'm gonna need you to be rested and ready to go on that when we get there. And I know how much we all need an explanation here, but if there isn't one, then we need to accept that."
Geordi nods, leaves the copy of Hamlet that Picard gave Data, and walks out of the ready room.
"You know," says Riker. "For an android with no feelings, guy sure seemed to bring them out in others."
"Yeah," agrees Picard quietly. "We need someone to replace Data at Ops."
"Worf," murmurs Riker.
"My thought, too," nods Picard.
Riker leaves, and Picard opens Hamlet to a place where Data was using a torn piece of ribbon as a bookmark.
"He was a man. Take him for all in all. I shall not look upon his like again."

Quietly dramatic music... commercial break.

I'm completely thrown off watching this scene because we're looking
at the corner that they usually film from.

On the Jovis, Data is feeding the lapling, the creature that Fajo wants everyone to think is extinct. Data is making this weird noise at the lapling, saying loo-loo-loo-loo in a monotone voice.
Fajo comes in, annoyed that Data is not wearing the outfit he provided. When Data protests that he is wearing his Starfleet uniform, Fajo snaps back that he is not in Starfleet anymore.
"Just change your programming," he says dismissively.
"Yeah, not possible," replies Data. "Anyway, I have pretty much no respect for anyone who harms anyone else."
"WTF kind of programming is that?" asks Fajo. "You're a militaristic pacifist? Who the hell thought it was a good idea to put you in Starfleet, anyway?"
"My skills were suited for it."
"Have you killed anyone?"
"No, but I'm programmed for that if need be, for defensive purposes."
"How can you participate in a murder?"
"Uh, I'm not. It wouldn't be murder if I had to defend myself to that point."
"Naw," says Fajo. "You're better off here. I'm not at war with anyone. We just travel the galaxy. I'm your liberator."
BITCH YOU THINK YOU OWN HIM. THAT IS NOT LIBERATION.

Sassy Data Moment: "You are a fine debater, sir. It is a shame that you have used your verbal skills for mere hucksterism and the advancement of your own greed."
Fajo starts to spin a tale of growing up rough on his planet, trying to get some pity out of Data, but it doesn't work. Data flat-out tells him that his past is no excuse for acting like a complete asshole now.
"Lol, it isn't even true," laughs Fajo. "My father was rich. He was a thief."
I'm shocked.
He tries again to get Data to put on the new clothes, and when Data refuses, he goes to the replicator and orders up a vial of some liquid, throwing it at Data's chest.
"You'll be fine," he assures Data, as holes begin melting in his uniform. "That won't actually harm your skin, just shred the uniform." He gets up to leave. "Decide which alternative you hate the least. Also, I invited someone to dinner tonight. I hope you'll be as entertaining with him as you have been with me."
Dick.

We get a short scene were Geordi is trying to sleep, but it's restless, and you know what he's dreaming about, because you can hear Data's voice giving out the perfunctory response before taking off in the shuttle.
He sits up. "I did miss something."

Worf is walking through the corridor when he walks past Troi talking to someone else. She finishes her convo and follows him, asking if it's his first shift at Ops. He reminds her that he's worked that station before, and she replies that she is worried about him.
"I would feel bad replacing Data, too," she says.
They get in the lift.
"Replacing a crew member who has died is commonplace on a Klingon ship," he points out.
"Yeah, but this isn't a Klingon ship. And this is the second time you've replaced someone who has died."
"I'm honoring Data like I honored Lt Yar," he says stoically. "By attempting to do their jobs as well as they did."
That's valid.
"In true Klingon fashion," she sighs.
Girl, don't be culturally insensitive.
The door opens.
"I appreciate your concern," he says quietly.

Down in Engineering, Geordi is playing some recordings for Wes. For the first two recordings, Data tells the E that the loading is complete, and the shuttle will be taking off now. Then he lets them know that he's cleared the shuttle bay doors of the Jovis.
"I don't hear anything weird," says Wes. "That stuff is all protocol."
"Exactly,"says Geordi. "Now listen to the last one."
Data tells the E that the loading is complete, and this will be the last load, and the shuttle is taking off now.
"That's the last thing he said," says Geordi.
"He didn't talk about clearing the doors," exclaims Wes.
"Yeah. And any other pilot, they might have skipped something. But not Data, because he doesn't get lax about protocol." Geordi is frustrated. "Maybe there was something wrong with the shuttle."
"Yeah, but he would have communicated that."
"So maybe there was something wrong with him.Wish I could talk to those people who last saw him alive."

Back in the collection room, Data has changed into the non-tattered clothes that Fajo has left him. He opens the baseball card case to smell the bubble gum, but when the doors whoosh open, he turns and faces it, standing stock still.
Fajo comes in with Varria and another dude.
Yikes.

Fajo and his frenemy are talking about some kind of sex idol, and Fajo tells the friend that he got taken, because the Ferengi add pearls to those things to up the price. The friend spies Data and chides Fajo for getting something new and not telling him. Fajo introduces him to Data as Palor Toff.
"It's a mannequin," says Toff of the rock-like Data.
"No, it's a famous android," insists Fajo. "Say something!" he yells at Data.
"I think you got taken," laughs Toff.
Frustrated, Fajo yells and pushes Data over. Data hits the edge of the couch, stiff as a board, and bounces off.
Sassy Guest Star Moment: "Well, he falls well!"
Toff takes Varria's arm and leads her out of the room, saying she's more fun than Fajo's new toy.
"You'll regret this," Fajo hisses at Data.
Fuck off, Fajo.

Dramatic music! Commercial break!

The E has arrived at Beta Agni 2.
"Mr Data, scan the surface," says Picard automatically.
Everyone freezes.
"Um, sorry Mr Worf. I mean you."
Worf does his scan and reports that he found the source of the contamination. They ready a probe with hytritium, and Geordi calls from Engineering to say that he's pretty sure the amount they got from Fajo should be just enough. The probe is fired at the coordinates.
"Something's weird," says Worf. "Scans show too much contamination at the source for it to be naturally-occurring."
"Hey, Majel," says Picard, "has there been any geological activity on this planet lately?"
"Nope," replies Majel.
Picard sends Riker down to check on it with Crusher and Worf.

Data is in the slave-collection room trying to imitate the pose and facial expression of the Mona Lisa, which is hanging on the wall. It's both adorable and infuriating, because why does Fajo think he deserves a Leonardo? Or the Dali on the opposite wall? Fucker.

Fajo comes in and says that he'd like their relationship to change. He's being all diplomatic, but what he really wants is for Data to sit in the chair and talk to his visitors and comply. Fajo is what you become when you're Augustus Gloop as a kid. Nobody tells this guy no, so he asks why Data is so argumentative.
"I'm not gonna comply," Data says. "I'm just not."
Fajo opens a wall safe, telling Data that he's going to get him to change his mind. He pulls out a gun.
"This is a prototype for a Varon-T disruptor. They only made five, and I have four."
Geez, even when this guy is threatening someone, he still can't shut up about the shit he's got.
"That's banned in the Federation," Data points out.
"Yep. I sleep with one under my pillow. It's really hideous to be shot by one. It rips the body apart, inside-out. It's a very painful death, and I've always wanted to try it out."
"You're not shooting me," Data calls his bluff. "I'm too valuable."
"That's true," Fajo replies. He goes to the comm and calls someone to come inside.
It's Varria. He's gonna shoot Varria. But first he's gonna talk about how they've been together for 14 years, and how great those years were.
"I'm gonna miss you." He aims the disruptor at her and does this kiss-and-wink thing that's creepy.
"Fajo."
Fajo looks up. Data is sitting in the chair.

Worf, Riker and Crusher beam down to the water source on Beta Agni 2. It looks a lot like the set where Picard and Vash dug for the Tox Uthat, only painted blue.
They start their scans and decide that the chemical that is contaminating the water supply was manufactured rather than occurring naturally.
"The hell?" asks Crusher. "Who would poison the water supply on purpose with that stuff? It's hard to replicate and hard to transport, and would basically be a huge pain in the ass."
"Why would someone choose this?" asks Riker.
She shrugs. "Could look like a natural disaster. And it could only be treated with hytritium, which is hard to find. Maybe someone thought we wouldn't find any."
"How fucking convenient that Kivas Fajo had just enough at just the right time," says Riker disgustedly.

In the Obs Lounge, Riker tells Picard that he thinks Fajo poisoned the water supply.
"You think he did it to sell us hytritium?" asks Picard. "To make a profit?"
"No, he'd lose hella money making the other chemical," says Crusher.
"What does he want, then?" muses Picard. "Hey, Majel, we have biographical info on Kivas Fajo?"
"Sure," says Majel. "He's a trader who collects rare and valuable objects, like Starry Night by Van Gogh, and (other assorted cool shit)."
Dammit, why does this infected peen hole own so much awesome Terran art?
But everyone in the Obs Lounge has caught on that Fajo likes stuff. Stuff that no one else has.
"What if Data wasn't on the shuttle?" asks Geordi.
"Aw, hell naw!" says Picard, hitting his comm badge. "Wes, get us the fuck back to the site of the shuttle accident!"

Riker, Wes and Picard do some sleuthing to figure out how far Fajo might have gotten, or where he'd be. Wes thinks he might be hiding, but Picard reasons that, as a trader, he'd need to be easy to find. He also probably wouldn't be hiding from the E, as he doesn't know that they know that he might have Data.
"Put out the all-call to Federation colonies in those areas?" asks Riker.
"Make that shit so," nods Picard.

Data is in the slave room trying to open the wall safe when Varria comes in.
"If I show you how to escape, will you take me with you?" she asks.
"There are some bad consequences if we fail," he replies.
"Don't I know it." She inputs the right code into the wall safe and takes out the disruptor.
They leave the room.

Dramatic music! Commercial break!

On the bridge, Worf tells Picard that they got a hit from their APB, and that Fajo spent half a day in orbit at a planet nearby, then left seven hours ago. Wes switches course to go to that planet. They'll easily overtake the Jovis because its top speed is warp three, and again, Fajo has no idea that he should be running or hiding.

In the shuttle bay of the Jovis, Varria tells Data that he can't communicate with the E, because Fajo has communication restricted to the bridge. She also tells him that once they open the shuttle bay doors, there will be an alarm, and they'll have to high-tail it out of there, especially because the escape pod they'll be taking will emit an emergency signal. He nods and gets in the pod. She opens the doors. The alarm goes off.
One of the minions scurries into the bay, but she aims the disruptor at him. He figures out quickly that it's not just a phaser, and holds his hands up in surrender. She's almost to the pod when the other minion grabs her from behind.
She drops the disruptor. The first minion closes the bay door. Data comes out of the pod and extracts Minion #2 from Varria, tossing him across the bay. Minion #1 also gets tossed. Varria runs for the controls to open the door again. Data gets back in the pod.

The door opens again, but this time it isn't minions. It's Fajo, here to remind everyone that he sleeps with a disruptor under his pillow. Varria looks at the disruptor she dropped, on the floor between herself and Fajo. She takes a running leap for it, but it's just out of her reach. For some reason, she doesn't crawl quickly enough for it, despite the fact that there doesn't seem to be anything holding her back. He forces her to stand up. She does so, despite the fact that that disruptor is mere inches from her fingers.
There's a kind of stand-off here, where Varria looks at him, and silently dares him to shoot her. He backs down, his eyes saying that he can't. Her expression is slightly triumphant. She holds the power. He starts to drop the disruptor to his side, but at the last moment pulls it up and shoots.
Data hears Varria screaming and runs to the door of the pod.
The disruptor beam appears to burn slowly through a person before burning them up quickly. Fajo is shaken by what he just did and watched, and throws the disruptor away from him.

Recovering slightly and gathering his moxy, he sort of half-smiles at Data.
"It's your fault. You knew the price and so did she. Oh, well. There's always another Varria."
YOU GASLIGHTING FUCK.
He walks away behind the escape pod. Data picks up the disruptor and follows him.
Fajo realizes that there is a disruptor pointed at his back, and turns. "You won't shoot me. You said you respected living beings, and I am one. Empty threat."
"You're gonna turn yourself in to the authorities."
"Yeah, no. You're not gonna do it. You're gonna sit in the chair and entertain me and my guests, or I'll kill someone else."
The minion on the floor stirs and starts to get up.
"Like him. I could kill him, and his blood would be on your hands, just like Varria."
Gaslighter gaslighter gaslighter gaslighter.
The minion runs away.

Fajo stupidly decides to taunt Data.
"See, your only choices here are to shoot me or get back in the chair. Entertain or murder. Too bad you can't feel rage over Varria's death, rage to fuel revenge. Then you could do it. But you're just an android and can't feel anything. It's just another intellectual curiosity to you."
Data ponders on that, then raises the disruptor again. "I cannot permit this to continue."
Fajo starts to panic, spouting off about how Data's program won't allow him to fire.
At the last moment, Data is beamed out of the cargo bay.

In the transporter room on the E, O'Brien is surprised to report to Riker that there's a weapon in transport with Data, and that it's been discharged.
"Don't worry, I deactivated it," says O'Brien.
Data is astonished to find himself on the E. He lowers the disruptor.
"You okay?" asks Riker.
"Yep," says Data. "Please have Kivas Fajo arrested for murder, theft, kidnapping..."
"We already alerted the authorities," says Riker.
Data hands him the weapon. "This is a Varon-T disruptor."
"Yeah, O'Brien said it was being discharged during transport."
Data considers this. "Huh, maybe something weird happened in the transporter."
He leaves the transporter room, leaving Riker and O'Brien to exchange a look.

Sometime later, Data goes to the brig, where Fajo is trapped in their fist cell.
"Did you come to gloat?" asks Fajo, manically. "Now the roles are reversed, with you as the collector, and me in a cage. You were in my collection once, I can have you there again."
"Not gonna happen," says Data. "The authorities have confiscated your collection, broken it up, and sent the stolen items back to their owners."
Fajo seems shaken and angry again. "Oh, yeah? That make you feel pretty good, huh?"
"No, sir," says Data. "I cannot feel pleasure. I am only an android."
And he drops the fucking mic and walks away.

*******

This is one of those episodes that I never remember. It's not that it's bad or particularly forgettable, I just never recall it. (A lot of season three is turning out that way, which is strange, because season three is actually pretty good. I think it's mostly that my favorite episodes are clustered in season five, so they tend to stand out more.) When I do recall this episode, I mostly recall visuals: Palor Toff and his weird gold ribbon accessory, and the fact that during his interaction with Fajo and Data, he picks that middle nostril; and Varria touching her face, which was the first confirmation that you get that her face was mutilated and rebuilt, rather than the actor just having alien make-up on. Or maybe she's an alien with a mutilated face. She is, but we have no idea what species she is. The point is, you can't really do a mutilated alien face on a sci-fi series where the audience doesn't know what the original species is supposed to look like. It doesn't read clearly.

So this episode offers a strange outside-world dilemma: people outside of Starfleet are aware of Data, the Soong-type android, but are possibly not aware of his rights. Fajo and Varria refer to data as "it," which stopped in Starfleet during season two. If you were in Starfleet and still used that term when talking about Data, you were a robophobic asshole. In "Measure of a Man" Data's rights as a sentient being with the freedom to choose his own path were established, as well as the fact that Starfleet did not own him. It's possible that Fajo, not being a member of Starfleet, was unaware of this. Does this make him less evil? Not even remotely. It does mean that he might have thought that he was stealing an object from Starfleet rather than kidnapping a person, and also that he didn't realizing that he was engaging in slavery. Maybe he was surprised to hear that the charges against him included human trafficking, but as any lawyer will tell you, not being aware of the law doesn't mean you're immune to the consequences if you get caught breaking it.

This was a pretty solid episode. Not a lot of sci-fi elements, as the sabotage of the water included science elements, but could have been written for a non-sci-fi show just as easily. The acting for Fajo and Varria were both pretty good, and Brent Spiner did a nice job conveying Data's inner conflict about shooting Fajo, and in the end, that's kind of what the whole episode was about - Data's inner turmoil about whether or not to kill someone.

The thing that ultimately trips me up about this episode is Fajo's kidnapping plot. They traveled out a ways to Beta Agni, took the time and resources to replicate a chemical that's hard to work with, traveled back to another part of space, and waited for the colonists at Beta Agni to report to the Federation that the water was contaminated. So far, so good. Then he had to have hytritium, just a little more than the E would need to fix the water supply, and be just far enough away from another supply of it that it would not be worth the E's time to fly out there to get more. There are two wild cards in this plan: 

A) that the E would be assigned to this job, or be near enough and not have a job at the time (or have an unimportant job) so that they could drop what they were doing to take care of the water supply situation.

B) that the Enterprise would send Data as their shuttle pilot.

If neither of these conditions were met, then Fajo would be screwed. He would not have another chance himself to get that close to data, and would have had to acquire him a different way, as too many interactions with the E would have seemed suspect.

Unknown is how the Enterprise knew to contact him about the hytritium. Did he let them know that he had some to sell, not too long after they went looking for it? "Hey, guys. Heard you were looking for this stuff I have to sell"? Seems more likely that he approached up other traders and bought it off them so that he could be the only trader in the area to have it. Otherwise, it seems too open to chance. The whole plan seems kind of shaky where it counts, so I'm deducting points.

Fun Facts:

- The title for this episode comes from the phrase "he who dies with the most toys, wins," concerning greedy people. I kind of wish now that Fajo had collected at least one memento mori painting, for the lovely irony it would have brought.
- David Rappaport was initially cast as Fajo, but attempted suicide a few days into filming. It was decided that they could not continue with him in the role, and they cast Saul Rubinek instead. The scenes featuring Rappaport were re-filmed with Rubinek, even though promotional photos of Rappaport as Fajo had already gone out. Sadly, Rappaport's depression did not get better, and his next attempt at suicide was successful a few months later.

- Director Timothy Bond had initially thought up some interesting ways in which to film Fajo's scenes, as he was supposed to come off as intimidating, but Rappaport was very small. His favorite idea was to film in a set where the ceilings were all very short, making most people duck. But the show runners wouldn't let him do it, which is fortunate, as it would have been difficult to film, especially after the actors were changed.
- Saul Rubinek typically did not do guest spots on television, but he was a Trek fan, and old friends with Timothy Bond. He asked to see the sets while he was in town for a few days, and Bond talked him into taking the role of Fajo.
- There was a scene in the final script which would have had Fajo sending Varria to Data to test his sexual abilities, but when data learns of this, he sends a humiliated Varria away, fueling her need to escape. This scene dd not make the final episode.
- The scenes filmed with David Rappaport can be seen as extras on the season three Blu-ray set.
- Writer Shari Goodman asked Brent Spiner if he thought Data had shot the weapon that would have killed Fajo. Spiner said yes, and Goodman agreed. She wished it had been less ambiguous. Supposedly, the original ending was clearer on that matter, that Data had meant to shoot Fajo, but the higher-ups wanted it to be murky. Director Timothy Bond loved that it was left unknown.
- We'll see Palor Toff's outfit in later episodes: his robes will be seen on someone else next season, and the gold "ribbon" will be used as a sculpture in season six.
- The shuttle craft in this episode is named Pike for Captain Christopher Pike from TOS.
- Michael Piller began collecting baseball cards after this episode.
- Fajo is a Zibalian, but Saul Rubinek flubs a line and refers to Fajo's home planet as Zimbalia.
- The Dali painting in Fajo's collection ("Persistence of Memory") was painted by Elaine Sokoloff. Sokoloff was a graphic and scenic painter for the show, and did all of the paintings in Picard's art class in "A Matter of Perspective."

Red deaths: 0
To date: 1

Gold deaths: 0
To date: 1

Blue deaths: 0
To date: 1
Unnamed color crew deaths: 0
To date: 127

Obnoxious Wes moments: 0
To date: 1

Legitimate Wes moments when he should have told someone to go fuck themselves: 0
To date: 0

Sassy Geordi moments: 0
To date: 11

Sassy Wes Moments: 0
To date: 0

Sassy Worf Moment: 0
To date: 7

Sassy Riker Moments: 0
To date: 13

Sassy Picard Moments: 0
To date: 11

Sassy NPC Moments: 0
To date: 0
Sassy Data Moments: 1
To date: 6
Sassy O'Brien Moments: 0
To date: 0
Sassy Crusher Moments: 0
To date: 2
Sassy Troi Moments: 0
To date: 5
Sassy Guest Star Moments: 1
To date: 1

Number of times that it is mentioned that Data is an android: 6
To date: 28

Number of times that Troi reacts to someone else's feelings: 0
To date: 25

Number of times that Geordi "looks at something" with his VISOR: 0
To date: 5
Number of times when Data gives too much info and has to be told to shut up: 0
To date: 3
Picard Maneuvers: 2
To date: 31
Tea, Earl Grey: 0
To date: 4

Lovely dilute calico Gretle