ST:TNG Season Five, Episode Eleven "Hero Worship"

ST:TNG Season Five, Episode Eleven "Hero Worship"
Production Order: 11
Air Order: 11
Stardate: 45397.3
Original Air Date: January 27, 1992

I have just learned that, in the military (all branches), if a member of the military has a pet, that pet has a rank, and it is always one rank above that of the service member. This way, if that service member is a complete piece of shit and beats their pet, they are disciplined not only for beating a fellow officer, but for beating a commanding officer. You can get dishonorably discharged for that. That's... that's brilliant. This also means that, if Star Fleet followed that same protocol, that Spot is actually Commander Spot.

Picard's Log 45397.3: "Going to see what happened to the Vico, a research ship that was checking out the black cluster."

The E hits the black cluster, and they find the Vico right away. It's adrift in space, and when they pull up visuals, it's obvious why: a big chunk of the front end is gone. Crap.

Data does scans and determines that there are no life signs, and that many of the decks are exposed to space. They can't get a lock on the computers to get information transfers over because those systems are closed behind emergency bulkheads.

"Is it stable enough for an away team?" asks Picard.

"Kinda?" says Data. "The chance of collapse is pretty high, though."

Picard tells Riker to form an away team, but to make sure the transporter chief keeps a lock on each of the members, just in case.

Riker chooses Data and La Forge, and they beam over.

The Vico is a mess of twisted wreckage and fallen crewmembers, all dead. Beams threaten to fall over. The computer stations they try are non-functioning, so they tap directly into the computer core and begin transferring files through a device.

There's a weak human voice nearby, and Riker and Data leave La Forge with the computer to check it out. They wander onto the destroyed bridge with a palm light, and finally find the source: a human kid.

Dramatic music! Opening credits!

Picard's Log, supplemental: "Well, shit. There was a kid alive in the wreckage, and the sensors were blocked from seeing him. Gonna attempt a rescue, but the going will be tough."

The transporter chief gets a lock on the kid, but he's pinned under a fallen beam, and the shielding in place is keeping things dicey. They tell Crusher to prepare for an emergency beam straight to sick bay, and the chief throws the controls. It starts to work for a hot second, then fizzles out: too much interference.

"No good," the chief tells the group. "Can you move the kid to the corridor? I think I can get a lock there."

Data looks around and does some quick calculations before telling Riker and La Forge (who has finished the computer transfer) that he can move the beam to get the kid, but the whole bridge is like one big game of Pick-Up Sticks, and moving this one beam might upset the balance. "I think you guys should beam back first."

Riker and La Forge agree and go back to the corridor so the chief can grab them. Once they're out, Data goes over the plan with the kid: he's gonna lift the beam, then they both run like hell for the corridor.

"How can you lift that by yourself?" asks the kid.

"I am an android," states Data. He tries a bit of bedside manner: "It is going to be... okay."

The kid nods, Data counts off, then moves the beam. The kid books it for the corridor, and Data drops the beam. The wreckage around them creaks and starts to fall around them. They hit the beam-out point and energize just as another beam falls right where they had been standing.

They appear in sick bay, and Crusher smiles at the kid, who backs closer to Data.

"Don't be afraid," she smiles.

Picard's Log, supplemental: "We explored the rest of the Vico, and found no other survivors. We're getting the kid trauma counseling."

The kid, Timothy, tells his story to Troi and Crusher in sick bay while he holds Data's hand: "They had purple helmets and phaser rifles. They came in and started shooting. They didn't see me."

Crusher leaves to get Timothy some food, and Data tries to excuse himself to go to Engineering to help La Forge, but Timothy won't let go of his hand.

Troi asks Timothy if he'd like Data to stay, and the kid nods.

In Engineering, La Forge shows Picard schematics of the Vico, and where things were located. It'll be a bit before the computer info from the Vico can be accessed.

"Timothy was outside the computer core when we found him. His mother was the ship's engineer, and they found her body in the core. His father was the second officer," says La Forge, "and most likely on the bridge when it was exposed to space."

"Most likely," says Picard heavily.

Down in sick bay, Timothy has fallen asleep and finally let go of Data's hand.

"His whole world is gone," Troi tells Data. "We have to help him build a new one."

Dramatic music! Commercial break!

Back in Engineering, La Forge and Data look at what the computer device was able to pull from the Vico. It doesn't look good - almost 85% of the info is gone, and there are no sensor logs. La Forge thinks he can maybe use the E's sensors to boost. 

Data is curious, and asks La Forge if he ever experienced any trauma as a kid.

It's a moment before La Forge answers, and he's obviously bothered by a memory. "I was caught in a fire once when I was five. It was before I got my first VISOR, and it was only for a few minutes, but those were the longest few moments ever. It was years before I let my parents get out of earshot. I needed to know they were there all the time."

"Timothy doesn't have that anymore," notes Data thoughtfully.

Timothy, who has been released from sick bay, has been shunted sideways into the schoolroom. The teacher reads aloud from a mythology textbook to the rest of the class, but pauses in his reading to ask Timothy to sit down with the other kids and follow along with the reading. Timothy, who is using a building set to make a model of a temple schematic on the wall, insists that he isn't finished. The teacher looks to a window into another room, where Troi watches Timothy.

I have to question pretty much everything about this scene. Why is Timothy in the classroom, and not Troi's office? Why is the teacher insisting that Timothy stop what he's doing and join the others? The kid is traumatized. He won't want to sit quietly with the group while his head is full of immediate, bad memories. Leave him alone to build his model. And what's with the weird observation window into the schoolroom? Is it the foyer into that area, where parents say goodbye to their kids when dropping them off? Because it's used several times in this episode to spy on Timothy, and that's just off-putting.

On the bridge, Data and La Forge have put together some schematics of what they think happened to the Vico: they were in the black cluster and attacked with some kind of disruptor weapon at close range. Afterward, gravitational waves pushed the ship out of the black cluster.

"That kind of attack sounds like it came from a cloaked vessel, like the Romulans, or the Klingons," says Picard. "But we're nowhere near either of those territories."

"Could be the Breen," suggests Data.

"Maybe," concedes Picard. "Timothy described helmets and phaser rifles and a boarding party."

"Boarding party seems unlikely," interjects La Forge. "There were no chemical or electrical traces of anyone else being on board."

Troi enters the bridge, and the conversation.

"Could he have been mistaken, or lying about a boarding party?" Picard asks her.

"Hard to say now," she admits. "I don't sense he was lying, but his emotional trauma is through the roof."

La Forge heads off to try more scans, and Troi asks Picard if she can have Data stay with Timothy.

Data is surprised.

"He trusts you, because you rescued him," she explains. "I'm worried about his behavior, but I think it will be beneficial to have you hang out with him."

Hoping Timothy might tell Data the whole story, Picard agrees.

"What should I do?" asks Data.

"Just hang out with him," says Troi. "He finds you comforting."

 Data goes to Timothy's assigned quarters to find that he's been allowed to take the model set with him. Timothy is attempting to build the model again, and Data correctly guesses which temple it is. Timothy is glad to see Data and cheerfully tells him about the different parts of the temple, courtesy of the teacher's instruction.

"What do you think?" asks Timothy.

Ack, NO.

Data opens his mouth, then pauses. He's encountered this before, and seems to know that when humans ask for an opinion, they don't always want an honest one. "Do you want an honest opinion?"
Timothy nods, but he doesn't really, because humans are complicated. They say they want an honest review, but they don't. 

Your emotionally delicate friend asks if you like a thing they made? You say you love it, regardless of how you actually feel. Your sister asks if you like her wedding dress? You love it. Your coworker tells you her baby name: YOU. LOVE. IT.

Timothy is too young and too emotionally raw to know that he doesn't actually want an honest opinion, so when Data starts to methodically tell him which parts are not correct, he dejectedly drops the remaining parts and slumps onto the couch behind him, declaring that Data hates the job he's done.

"I am not capable of hatred," Data corrects him.

Timothy tries again, but the pieces won't stay in place, and he is disappointed again. "I can't do anything right."

Data starts to help him, but La Forge pages him to Engineering. He starts to leave, then turns back and reassembles the model at super-human speed.

"How come you can do that?" Timothy asks.

"I'm designed to exceed human capacity."

"So you're better than humans?"

"That's really subjective. It's a feeling, and I don't have those," he explains. "I'm not capable of emotions."

"You don't feel happy... or sad?" asks Timothy.

"Correct." Data turns to leave again, and before he gets in the lift, Timothy calls out and asks if he will stop by again later, so they can build something else.

Data replies that this is acceptable.

Timothy goes back into his room, smiles at the model, then goes to his mirror. He mimics Data's speech patterns and head movements. "I am designed to exceed human capacity. That is correct."

Mildly worried music... commercial break.

There's a brief scene where the senior officers discuss going into the black cluster to see if they can find out more about what happened to the Vico. They're going to try the next day. Picard asks Troi if she has gotten any more info out of Timothy about what happened, and she tells him no, but that she has an appointment with him soon.

Troi goes to her appointment with Timothy 2.0. He's wearing a sweater that resembles Data's uniform, and he's dropped his contractions, and has adopted the head movements of everyone's favorite Soong son.

"You sound like Data," she laughs.

"I am an android," he replies.

To her credit, she rolls with the punches. "Cool, let's go for a walk."

They end up in Ten Forward, where Timothy tells a server that androids don't need to eat or drink, but that he will order something to taste it.

"How long have you been an android?" Troi asks him.

He replies that he's always been one, and while he slips in contractions, he continues with the head movements.

She asks him what it's like to be an android, and he repeats Data's assertions that he's designed to exceed human capabilities, but does not feel emotions.

There's a quick cut to the ready room.

"Whut?" asks Picard.

"Yeah, he's decided to be an android," Troi confirms. "It's called enantiodromia, which means "conversion into the opposite." He's basically suppressing his emotions by pretending that he wasn't designed to have any."

"So... what do we do about it?" Picard asks.

"Lean into it," she replies. "He's trying to figure out who he is, and he'll keep up the android thing as long as he needs to. When he feels safe to be himself without the android persona, he'll ditch it. It's not a good time to ask him about the Vico. In the meantime, I think we should go along with it."

Picard looks at Data. "Make him the android that he can be."

Data looks puzzled. Weirdest. Assignment. Evar.

Back in Timothy's quarters, Data is checking himself out in the mirror so he can do Timothy's hair the same way. But Timothy is doing his Data Head Movements, and Data asks him what he's doing. When Timothy explains, there's a moment of physical comedy where they're both doing it, Timothy because he's mimicking Data, and Data because he's pondering the implications of the movements.

"I didn't realize that that was so distracting," he admits.

He begins slicking back Timothy's hair with pomade.

"How come you're not captain?" Timothy asks.

"My service record does not warrant that rank."

Timothy pauses, and he drops the android act for a bit. "What's the scariest thing that's ever happened to you?"

"I do not experience fear."

"But what if you had a nightmare?"

"I do not have nightmares, because I do not require sleep." Data gets a clue. "Are you having nightmares?"

Timothy pauses. "I do not require sleep," he says quietly.

Data accompanies Timothy to sick bay for a check-up, and Crusher has clearly been clued in to the situation, because she tells him that all of his circuits are functioning within normal parameters.

As a side note, Dr Crusher has a great bedside manner with kids. In New Ground, she explained to Alexander which of his bones was broken. If I was a kid, I would absolutely be okay going to Crusher for medical stuff.

Later, Timothy and Data share a Bob Ross moment in Data's quarters. Timothy yawns while painting, and Data asks if he needs to go back to his quarters.

"I'm fine," Timothy insists. Then he thinks. "The servos in my mouth are designed to approximate human movements."

Lol, Timothy. You brilliant little shit.

Data pauses, then tries out the fakest-looking yawn ever. 

"That is not bad," Timothy compliments his friend.

Data asks Timothy if his painting represents anything, and Timothy says no, but you gotta guess that it probably does because it's rather... violent? aggressive? There's a lot of red and black, with jagged shapes.

Data, thinking that a little probing might be in order, reminds Timothy that he can talk to him about anything. He starts to tell the boy about how he sometimes worries about talking to his friends about specific things, because he isn't certain he's communicating in a way that humans will understand. But when he looks back at Timothy, he sees that his Mini Me has fallen asleep. He sets his palette down, then carefully carries Timothy to a couch.

Gentle music, commercial break.

.

It's time to enter the black cluster, and Data has been replaced on the bridge because he's playing How To Train Your Android. 

The E proceeds inside, and occasionally, the bridge crew rocks in unison to indicate that they are going through energy waves - little ones, but they're big enough to get past the shields.

"Crap, there's something off the starboard side," announces Worf. "No, wait - port bow. No, wait - starboard. WTF?"

Riker checks his own screen. "Sensors all over the place. Like, reflections? Seems like there's something there, but also not?"

Troi and Data are watching Timothy play with some other kids in the school room, but through that window that Troi was using before. Data is surprised to see Timothy laugh.

"He's back to being human," Data notes. "Is my work with him done?"

"I don't think so," says Troi. "I think he needs more of a push. Could you talk to him about your own interest in humans?"

We move to Ten Forward, where Data and Timothy are drinking synchronized smoothies. Timothy asks Data how his smoothie is, and Data replies that he can taste it, and analyze textures and how sweet things are, ect but he can't give an opinion, because that's a feeling, and he isn't designed for that.

"I often wonder about what it's like to have your mouth water in anticipation, or how it feels to enjoy food," Data admits. 

Timothy is surprised. "Sounds like you don't want to be an android."

"But I am," replies Data. "I can't change that."

"Do you wish that you weren't an android sometimes?" Timothy asks.

"Sometimes. I watch humans carefully to more accurately do as they do."

This answer makes Timothy grouchy. "But androids are smarter and stronger than humans."

"Sure, but I can't take pride in those things, or any of my accomplishments."

"But having emotions means you have to be sad sometimes," says Timothy. Definitely not a place he wants to go.

"Yeah, but I'd gladly take being sad sometimes if it meant I could enjoy my dessert," Data answers.

Back on the bridge, Worf has been asked to try the sensors in a bunch of different ways, but ends up calling them "useless" in frustration. Everything is being reflected back from the gravitational waves.

Picard calls Data to the bridge, and when he arrives, they try an experiment:

"Fire the phasers, full power."

They do, and the beam breaks up, forking in different directions in front of them.

"Data," says Picard thoughtfully, "would a disruptor beam do that in here?"

"Probably," Data replies.

"And how would a cloaking device work in this place?"

"Not very well."

"So what are the odds that a cloaked vessel could fire on the Vico in here with a disruptor weapon?"

"Not great."

Troi brings Timothy to the ready room to talk to Picard and Data.

"Explain to us again what happened," says Picard. "The tests we're running don't add up with what you described."

Timothy has dropped the android act. "We were attacked!" He's briefly angry.

"Androids don't lie," says Data gently.

There's a pause, then Timothy whispers, "It was me. I killed them all."

Dramatic music! Commercial break!

Timothy starts crying. "Everything was shaking, and I was trying to steady myself, and my arm hit the computer panel, and everything blew up. I'm sorry! I didn't mean to do it!"

"Oh. Timothy, that isn't possible," says Troi softly. "You couldn't have caused that by touching a computer panel. It was just a coincidence that the ship blew up when your arm touched that panel."

Together, they tell him that every panel needs to have a clearance code plugged in first to be activated, and simply touching a panel would have no affect on the Vico whatsoever.

"We're trying to figure out what actually happened," says Picard. "Can you remember anything else before the accident?"

There's another wave, and Timothy tearfully recalls the Vico rocking in this way as well.

On the bridge, Worf tells Riker that the wave intensity has increased. They increase shields.

Picard and the others come out of the ready room, and Picard tells the helm that he wants them to turn around and rocket out of there.

"I can't," says Helm. "It won't let me form a warp bubble." 

Timothy looks sharply at her.

Another wave rocks the ship, harder.

"No impulse power! Helm isn't responding!"

"We couldn't get out either," says Timothy.

"Um, let's go downstairs, get out of their way," suggests Troi.

"No!"

Riker asks La Forge in Engineering to get him more power to the shields, and Timothy tells Data that that's what they kept saying on the Vico: more shields.

Data pulls Timothy over to the science station at the back of the bridge, and asks him to recall everything they said on the Vico before the accident.

"Just more shields," Timothy insists.

Data begins typing in fast Data-fashion. Picard asks La Forge for more shields; there's another, bigger wave; more shields, more shields...

"I can divert power from the warp engines to the shields," La Forge says.

"They said that, too!" Timothy tells Data.

"Done!" says La Forge. "The shields can't get any stronger!"

"Drop the shields!" yells Data.

"The hell?" asks Riker.

Data addresses Picard directly with his most Serious Data Face: he is not fucking around.

"Make it so," Picard tells Worf.

Shields down, and instead of this

this happens

Everyone turns to stare at Data.

"Our shields were increasing the wave," he explains. "When Timothy told me he heard the Vico's crew calling for more shields, I plugged our shield strength into the computer with the wave amplification, and found that they correlated."

"Yikes," says Riker. "We dumped warp power into the shields. That wave would have blown us to bits."

"That's what happened to the Vico," Data agrees.

With no shields, the helm comes back online, and they are able to navigate out of the black cluster on impulse.

And back to the schoolroom, where the teacher is leading the kids in a round of "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" (a bit on the nose there, Star Trek). A sad-looking Timothy half-heartedly sings along while Troi and Data watch from behind the window. (Is Timothy not creeped out that they watch him all the time?)

"He's sad," remarks Troi, "but he's a human kid again."

When Data does not reply, she asks if he's finding it hard that Timothy doesn't want to be like him anymore.

"I... don't have the capacity to feel that?" he points out.

He goes into the schoolroom once the others clear out, and sits next to Timothy.

"How are you?" asks Timothy.

Data answers in typical Data fashion, then asks Timothy the same.

"I miss my parents, but I'm... okay," says Timothy. "You probably think it was silly that I was copying you."

"They tell me that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery," Data answers.

"Can we still be friends, even if I'm not an android?" Timothy asks earnestly.

"I have many human friends, and would be pleased to count you among them," Data replies.

Timothy does his best Data impression. "That would be acceptable."

And he smiles.

I like this one. It's a character-development story with a strong science-based B-plot that ties together nicely with the A-plot. Though it's not one that I frequently remember, it's a nice addition, and one where we see the script flipped on Data. He often tells humans how much he'd like to be like them, but here, someone wants to be like him. And it's nice to see Data helping someone navigate confusing feelings. You can see him thinking when Timothy presents a tough situation, and Data correctly chooses what to say next, not based on logic or what programming might choose, but knowledge that humans are not likely to make choices logically. He chooses poorly when Timothy asks for his opinion on the model, but this was after asking if the boy really wanted an honest opinion or not. He most likely filed this away as humans saying that they wanted an honest opinion when they didn't.

I liked the juxtaposition of Data and Timothy each coveting something that the other had: Data wanting emotions and Timothy wanting none, but Data pointing out that he was an android and could not change that fact probably helped Timothy to see that, as a human, he was going to have emotions whether he wanted them or not.

Overall, just a nice little episode. 

Fun Facts:

- The story about La Forge's traumatic childhood memory of the fire was originally meant to go into the script for the next episode, "Violations."

- It was during the filming of this episode that the crew learned of the death of Gene Roddenberry.

- Michael Piller felt that this season made better use of Troi as a counselor than previous seasons, and joked that he and Jeri Taylor were adding in more scenes for her like this because they were both in therapy.

- However, Joe Menosky had a love/hate relationship with Troi, and felt that having a counselor onboard the ship, as a senior officer, dated the show. (I feel like it doesn't, as therapy has come back around in a big way, and people relate to it more than ever. But that's me.)

- The landscape painting that Data is working on was made by special effects guy Dan Curry. The art department made a copy of the unfinished painting on a canvas, making it look as though Data was mid-way through the project.

- This is the second mention of the Breen onscreen. (They will not actually make an onscreen appearance until DS9.)

- La Forge tells Data that the fire incident occurred before he got his first VISOR, meaning that he's probably had several growing up.

- Brannon Braga listed this episode as his favorite of the "kid episodes."

- Michael Piller thought it was a "great premise" and "very entertaining," but not very memorable.

Red deaths: 0
To date: 1
Gold deaths: 0
To date: 0

Blue deaths: 0
To date: 0
Unnamed color crew deaths: 0
To date: 0

Sassy Geordi moments: 0

To date: 0

Sassy Ro Moments: 0
To date: 1

Sassy Worf Moment: 0
To date: 0

Sassy Riker Moments: 0
To date: 0

Sassy Picard Moments: 0
To date: 0 

Sassy NPC Moments: 0
To date: 0
Sassy Data Moments: 0
To date: 0
Sassy O'Brien Moments: 0
To date: 1

Sassy Keiko Moments: 0

To date: 3
Sassy Crusher Moments: 0
To date: 0
Sassy Troi Moments: 0
To date: 2
Sassy Guinan Moments: 0
To Date: 1
Sassy Guest Star Moments: 0
To date: 2

Number of times that it is mentioned that Data is an android: 7
To date: 31

Number of times that Troi reacts to someone else's feelings: 0
To date: 8

Number of times that Geordi "looks at something" with his VISOR: 0
To date: 0
Number of times when Data gives too much info and has to be told to shut up: 0
To date: 1
Picard Maneuvers: 1
To date: 4
Tea, Earl Grey: 1
To date: 3

Mentions of the number 47: 0

To date: 1

ST:TNG Season Five, Episode Ten "New Ground"

ST: TNG Season Five, Episode Ten "New Ground"
Production Order: 10
Air Order: 10
Stardate: 45376.3
Original Air Date: January 6, 1992

Okay, so I meant to post this two weeks ago when I announced that I would be posting again, but I've hit another snag: Netflix has flipped the switch that makes it impossible to get screencaptures now. I have access to TNG through three of my four streaming services, but they all have this block, including when watching via SafeMode or Incognito browsing. My choices now are to torrent like I did with movie #6, or start purchasing DVDs of each season. Since I have neither the funds to purchase decades of Star Trek, nor the room to store them, I am trying to torrent. But because owners are pulling shows to open even more streaming services that no one wants to pay for, everyone and their targ is returning to pirating, and the torrent servers are so overloaded that I keep getting booted from the site. The last two weeks the servers sat at pretty much 100% use, so I would watch two minutes, then get booted again, and there was no rhyme or reason to when fewer people might be on. Very frustrating.

Anyway, thanks for your patience. I'm hoping there are more days ahead when I can jump in and get those screencaptures easily.

Picard's Log 45376.3: "So this scientist on Bilana III has invented a new way to reach warp speed without warp. It's called the soliton wave, and we've been asked to help him run the first tests."

Oh man, is La Forge ever stoked for this shit. This is hardcore science mixed with warp engine stuff, and he cannot contain himself.

"We're watching history in the making!"

"Um, cool?" replies Data.
But he can't get either Data or Worf to get onboard, and runs after another engineer, hoping to get a high-five for science, or something.
Worf is paged to a communication station for a phone call from a nearby transport ship. Oh hey, it's his mom.

She tells him that they're in the sector, and hopped on a transport to come over for a visit. He asks if his father is with her, and she replies that he isn't, but she brought Alexander, because she thought it would be nice for them to do a quick catch-up. Probably a good idea. He hasn't seen his kid in at least a year, and does he talk to Alexander via subspace communication? Hopefully this isn't his first meet-up or call since K'Ehleyr died, but we have no idea. He doesn't really talk about Alexander. He agrees, and the pair beams over a bit later.

I really like Mrs R's clothes here. Simple, but with good lines.

She gets off the transporter pad and greets him, asking if he has grey in his beard. All good, it's a nice reunion. Then he walks over to the pad and Worf and Alexander exchange literal, formal "hellos" and a handshake. Ugh.

"It's nice to see both of you. How long can you stay?" asks Worf.

"I'm not going back," Alexander replies, slightly confused.

Worf turns to look at his mother, who looks guilty.

Worrisome music that builds to a dramatic crescendo! Opening credits!

Helena and Worf enter Ten Forward sans Alexander, and she makes a remark about how excited the little boy was to see the play area, explaining his absence.

"He's going to love it here!"

Making a lot of assumptions, Helena. And now we have to get down to brass tacks, because she's basically doing a drive-by drop-in: "here, you're in charge of this small human now." 

(Although honestly, turnabout is fair play. He did the same to them. "Turns out I'm a father, his mother was just brutally murdered, surprise! you're raising him!" Do the Rozhenkos have a "better to apologize than ask permission" policy in their family? Did Sergey do the same to Helena? "Hey, I'm home from Starfleet. Brought you another son!")

They sit at a table. "What's the deal?" asks Worf.

Helena talks briefly about what a joy it has been to have Alexander around, how their house feels less empty, ect, but when probed, she gets to the point: they're getting on in years, and cannot keep up with a small child.

"Also, sometimes he's hard to handle. Disobedient."

"Klingon children are difficult," he replies.

I'm sorry.

Did... did you just mansplain Klingon children to your own mother? You, who have never raised a kid? Are you shitting me, Worf?

"Yeah, I know," she tells him. But she's a little kinder to him than I would have been, because she's trying to talk him into something. "You should know that he doesn't always tell the truth."

Worf is alarmed that his kid is a liar.

"He needs the guidance of his father," says Helena. "You gotta do what you gotta do as a parent, but also, the transport ship back to Earth is leaving soon, so you gotta make up your mind pretty quick here."

Guess they came to a decision, because in the next scene, Worf and Alexander are walking through the corridor, and Worf is asking his kid the kinds of questions that an adult asks a kid they don't know, because they don't know how to talk to this specific kid.

"Did you like school on Earth? Your teachers? You were staying in my old room, how was that?"

Y'all, I'm starting to think that this really is the first time he's interacted with Alexander in the last year.

Shit's awkward.

They go into the school section, and meet the teacher, Miss Kyle.

She asks questions of them both, but Alexander has opted to ignore her and look around. Is he using the cover of "new experience in a new place" to cover the fact that he's being rude? The tone of this scene certainly seems to make it that way.

They sit down to do paperwork, and Miss Kyle asks Alexander how to spell his last name. He ignores her. But he can't when the teacher asks Worf for Alexander's date of birth, and he doesn't know. There's a long silence, then Alexander sighs and drops his act, telling her his birthday. Kind of sad. Worf had a whole year to find that out and didn't.

Miss Kyle is quickly figuring out that this will be easier if she just asks his Earth school for his records, and asks before they go how long Alexander will be onboard the E.

"We don't know yet," says Worf.

Alexander goes Surprised Pikachu. 

This poor kid. His mother is murdered, his father dumps him on his grandparents (he doesn't really know any of them!), then after a year or so, his grandparents dump him back on his father, and his father doesn't know if he will stay. No wonder he's acting out. I would too!

Picard is sitting in his ready room, annoyed. Apparently, Worf is late for their meeting, and he rushes in and makes apologies.

"I had to enroll my kid in school."

This is not news to Picard, as he nods.

Picard forges on: they're about to get several new security officers.

Miss Kyle pages Worf, who looks briefly panicked before telling her "go ahead."

She wants to talk about placement tests for Alexander.

"Not a good time!" he interrupts, trying to get back to his meeting with his boss.

Picard starts talking about the security Golds again, but Crusher calls Worf.

"I need to schedule a physical exam of Alexander, and get his records from Earth -"

"Not fucking now!" yells Worf.

"No rush," says Crusher breezily.

Okay, I need to know: this ship has families aboard, but it is still military. Why are the teacher and the ship's doctor calling Worf while he's on duty? Is there not some way for them to look up his work schedule and determine when a better time to call might be? If this is happening during a meeting with the Big Boss, could it not also happen when he's on the bridge, calculating when to fire torpedoes? What about other parents on the ship? Would teachers call Crusher when she's performing surgery, or delivering a baby? Send. A Fucking. Email.

Fortunately, Picard is mildly amused at these interruption, as opposed to Worf, who is fuming.

"Okay, look: you're not the only crewmember dealing with a new family member on board. Go do the things, and we'll talk about security stuff later."

Worf seems mortified. He stiffly thanks Picard and leaves.

 Later, we get a little mileage on our B-plot, as the senior crew meets up in the Obs Lounge with Dr Ja'Dar to hear about the soliton wave experiment. He explains that they'll have their ship waiting in space within range of a lab on their planet. When the wave is activated, it'll push the ship in the direction it needs to go, and when the ship approaches the destination planet, a lab on that surface will deactivate the wave, and it'll coast to a stop. The E will follow the experiment ship fairly closely to watch what kind of readings it gets, to determine if the tech is sound, and what adjustments still need to be made.

Riker jokes that La Forge is about to be made redundant.

"Hope so!" says La Forge cheerfully.

(It's kind of weird to hope you'll be put out of a job, but I know how he feels: I did cat rescue for 10 years, and rescuers want nothing more than to be jobless. Spay and neuter your pets, please. Thx.)

Worf is clearly attempting to get some work-life balance here, but his coworkers keep dragging Life back into Work, as is evidenced when he returns to his station, and Troi pops out of her chair like a freaking jack-in-the-box to talk to him about Alexander. She just starts going on about how great Miss Kyle is, blah blah blah, and you can tell Worf just wants to get his shit done, but then she interrupts to ask him if he's going on the father-son field trip today.

He tells her politely that they can't attend.

"Why not?" 

Gettin' pushy there, Troi.

"Because I have to fucking work."

You know when you work retail, and your friends and family are constantly asking you all November and December what your holiday plans are, and you tell them that you are working, and they butt in with a Can't You Just?

"Can't you just get that day off? Can't you just ask your manager? Can't you just call out sick?"

NO.

That's what this feels like: Can't You Just drop everything for me/ Alexander/ this weird new situation? Dude needs some time here - time to do his job, time to adjust to the situation, time to interact with his kid, time to get things squared away for both of them - and he only has time for one of these things at a time.

Troi puts on her counselor hat and tells him in a Serious Tone that the field trip would be a good way for him to meet the parents and other kids in Alexander's new class.

He hesitates, then agrees to go, meaning that he'll have to put off those personnel reviews that Picard wanted him to do. 

He needs some FMLA, stat.

We skip to the field trip, where dads and kids are in the biolab looking at a white rhino diorama, while Miss Kyle explains that they went extinct in the 22nd century.

Cool. I love it when Star Trek makes a prediction about the human race, and we fail hard in real life. (If you're keeping score at home, the last male white rhino died in 2018. The remaining two are females, and science is excited to let us know that now, we have five viable white rhino embryos.)
Miss Kyle moves over to a cage with animals in it. She explains that they're called gilvos, and that they're a threatened species, and that the E is transporting them to a new habitat on a different planet. Alexander, who has been looking at another diorama, is suddenly interested, and moves to the cage. When Miss Kyle excuses the group to explore, she approaches Alexander, and tells him that the lizard models are for everyone to play with, and not his to take.

Worf is aghast. "My kid didn't steal anything. Did you?"

"Nope," says Alexander.

"I saw him put it in his jacket," she replies.

Worf checks Alexander's pockets, and surprise: a plastic lizard. Worf makes a "well, shit" face.

Dramatic music! Commercial break!

Worf's Personal Log, 45376.8: "Well, Mom was right: my kid's a liar. So now I gotta deal with this crap, and honestly, I'd pretty much rather do anything else."

Worf and Alexander are back in Worf's quarters, and Alexander basically sits in a chair while Worf lectures him about honor. Because Alexander's gonna not only understand that, but go along with it? Come on, Worf. His mother had no patience for Klingon stuff, and I doubt his grandparents were spoon-feeding him stuff about honor.

When Worf demands to know why Alexander stole the model and then lied about it, Alexander replies "I don't know" to both questions. That's valid. Sometimes you do dumb shit, and you don't know why. Especially when you're a kid.

They talk about Kahless and his brother Morath, who fought for 12 days and nights because Morath did something dishonorable. Then Worf tells Alexander that he lost everything when he was five, but he still had his honor (really? At five? Okay, then.).

Alexander apologizes for his behavior, and promises not to do it again.

Worf accepts his apology, and says that it's good enough for him, and he won't bring it up again.

Which, you know, is not terrible parenting.

Troi catches Worf in the corridor later and asks how the field trip went. He explains what happened, and how he handled it, and while I don't think he did a bad job, he has an air of "don't worry, I conquered parenthood" when explaining it.

She offers to help him if there's further conflict, but he turns her down. They enter the bridge.

Time for more B-plot.

The test ship has been towed into place, the wave is ready to be fired up, and Picard wishes Dr Ja'Dar good luck.

They start the wave, and the ship takes off like a shot. The E follows closely at the wave's heels, monitoring speed and whatnot. La Forge says it's going faster than predicted, but still within parameters, and it has an efficiency rate of 98%.

"Holy shit," says Data, "That's 450% more efficient than our warp drive."

Picard has Riker tell Science Lab 3 to test for gamma emissions, and all hell breaks loose. The wave's efficiency rate drops to 73%. The warp bubble becomes unstable. The wave begins expanding outward, and hits the E like a ton of bricks.

"Brakes, brakes!" yells Picard.

The wave gallops away from the halted Enterprise, and poof -

The test ship explodes.

Dramatic music! Commercial break!

When we return, everyone gets up off the floor and returns to stations. The blowback from the soliton wave and subsequent explosion have left the E listing. A few injuries coming in, but mostly their warp drive is out.

Dr Ja'dar calls to check on them, and they compare findings.

"I'm sorry it didn't work," La Forge tells him. "It was cool to see for as long as it lasted."

"Hope you can be there when we try again," Ja'Dar replies.

Jae sighting!

Worf shows up to a parent-teacher conference with a "what now?" look on his face, and Miss Kyle starts out with compliments: Alexander is smart, and he'll probably be a good student based on his test scores. But his behavior sucks. He's kind of an aggressive jerk to the other kids, and he talks back.

And here we go again: the Klingon who has been a parent for a hot minute starts Klingon-splaining Klingon children to someone who has more experience with kids than he does.

Just stop, Worf. These women are humoring you.

Alexander steals from the other kids, and starts fights, then gaslights them, claiming he did no such thing.

"He also told me that you told him that Klingons do not listen to teachers."

Worf goes all Surprised Pikachu. "I didn't say that!"

Miss Kyle waves him off. "Of course not." 

She starts to tell him that Alexander is struggling emotionally and taking it out on the others, and that she would suggest they both go to Counselor Troi for help on this matter, but he stands up, and demands that the computer tell him where Alexander is now.

"Holodeck four," says Majel.

Worf storms out of the teacher's office.

He gets down to the holodecks, and finds that Alexander is using Worf's calisthenics program.

Oh.

The program that was running when he was conceived.

That's not... weird.

When Worf goes inside, he sees Alexander battling it out with the skull-headed monster, and he's doing alright, wielding a bat'leth that's clearly too big for him. He takes down the monster with some effort, and for a brief moment, Worf has a "that's my kid, the tiny warrior" look on his face.

He pauses the program, and Alexander, excited by his victory, turns greets Worf.

Worf remembers that he is here because his kid is in trouble at school. "You didn't ask permission to take my bat'leth or come down to the holodeck," he says evenly.

"You wanted me to be a warrior!" Alexander argues.

"Yeah, and I also wanted you to listen to your teachers, but you're being a little shit in class. Not cool."

Alexander starts shouting. "She hates me and makes up stories about me! She's lying!"

Worf takes the bat'leth, and tells Alexander to go back to their quarters.

"You said we could go see the gilvos again!" Alexander protests.

"Yeah, not anymore," Worf replies. "You promised me you would quit lying and stealing, and you're still doing both."

Then: "I have failed in my duties as your father."

Okay, that's a bit harsh -

"You do not understand what it means to be Klingon."

What.

That's... that's not really the entirety of your job, Worf. Your job as a parent is to raise a functional adult who is capable of getting on with other adults. You're looking at this like it's a binary of honorable or not honorable. Can you add honor and Klingon stuff in there? Yeah, but in the end, your kid has to be able to function in both Klingon and non-Klingon situations, and right now, he's struggling. Deal with his lying and stealing and the underlying emotional issues causing that, and make "honor" the Klingon sprinkles on your parenting doughnut.

"I'm gonna send you to a Klingon school," Worf decides. "Then you can learn what it means to be honorable." 

Cool. So this kid has rarely had any stability ever in his young life, and you're gonna shake things up again?

Up on the bridge, Riker checks in on how well things are proceeding with ship repairs while the Enterprise picks itself up and checks for tiny rocks in its skinned knees.

La Forge is trucking along, but needs to replace some things, and it's going to be another hour. Data has sensors back online, and he's checking for the soliton wave.

"Oop," he says. "The wave is still headed for the colony at the receiving station, but the speed has jumped up to warp 4."

They get Dr Ja'Dar back on the line to report this new situation.

"Power has increased by a factor of 12," says Data. "It'll have increased by a factor of 200 by the time it reaches the receiving station."

"Can we still stop it when it reaches its destination?" asks Riker.

"Fuck no," says Ja'Dar. "With that kind of power, it'll not only take out the station and the colony, but it'll blow half the planet away."

Dramatic music! Commercial break!

Worf goes to see Troi. Don't know how he ended up there, but it's the right move. She walks him to the idea that Alexander is acting out because his entire fucking life, starting with his mother's death, has been one unpleasant surprise after another, and he has zero control over it. That that's what one does when one has no idea how to handle feelings. She also tells him that it would be normal for Worf to be mad at K'Ehleyr for having his kid, not telling him, and then dying, leaving him alone with Alexander.

Therapy: that shit's where it's at, y'all.

Worf goes back to his quarters, where Alexander is rage-packing.

"I want you to understand why I'm sending you to a Klingon school," Worf begins calmly.

"Because you don't want me!" Alexander yells back. "You're ashamed of me!"

"That's not true," Worf states.

"Yes it is! You only care about your honor!"

Worf starts to shout back, and you know he's gonna say that this new accusation isn't true, either. But he stops, and the look on his face says it all: Alexander read him like a book, and it's absolutely true. (Therapy: helping you to get get your shit figured out.)

Then he says something else that's true: "If your mother were here, she would not like us to fight."

Doing good, dude. Now don't fuck it up by using that as an excuse to treat your kid like shit.

Alexander is still pissed. "If my mother were here, she wouldn't be sending me away!"

Also true.

Unfortunately, we don't get the next bit, because Worf gets paged to the Obs Lounge.

He leaves, telling Alexander to stay in his quarters, that he'll be back soon, and they can continue their discussion.

An angry Alexander flips his suitcase.

Imma give Worf an 8 here. He kept his cool for the most part, and is starting to get a little perspective.

Worf reports to the Obs Lounge, where La Forge and Data tell Picard and Riker that they have two plans to stop the soliton wave:

1) use the engines of the E to match the frequency and amplitude of the wave and neutralize it; or

2) set off a bunch of photon torpedoes in front of the wave to break it up.

La Forge is uncertain of this first plan, because the amplitude and frequency of the wave is constantly changing, so trying to match would be an uphill battle. Setting off the torpedoes in front of it has a better chance of working, but this plan has a rider: the wave is now traveling at a little more than warp 6, so they'll not only have to catch up to it, but get out in front of it, which means going through it.

"Why can't we go around it?" asks Riker.

"It's not only been increasing in speed, but also increasing outward into space," explains Data. "It would take too long to go around."

Me:

Me:

Me: So we're going to ignore the Z-axis? You can't go over or under? 

Me:

Me: Fine. Whatever. Do it.

Just when I think that Worf is not here for any reason that to segue more smoothly to the B-plot, Picard finally turns and asks what current shield strength is like.

"About a third," Worf admits.

"I guess we're all getting seasick, then," Picard decides.

Other than my complaint about the Z-axis, I don't have much to say about this scene, except for the fact that I had to watch it three times to get the gist of their plan... because the way that Data and La Forge are sitting is really distracting. Was it easier to fit them both into frame this way? Are they just Guys Being Bros? Or were they simultaneously shooting the cover for their 80's new wave album? Feels like a moment Data+Geordi shippers would screencap and use as "proof" that they would make a good couple.

There's a brief scene here where they go back to the bridge, and they catch up to the wave before jumping in it, riding it, and coming out in front. The helm is keeping pace just ahead. The "rough ride" was over in a few seconds, but Worf reports the damages gained: shields at 12%, transporters and tractors offline. A few bumps and bruises.

Then we get a hot second of Alexander wandering into the biolab to see the gilvos again.

Back to the bridge for more problems: because of shields being down, when they fire the torpedoes, certain parts of the ship near the tubes are going to be flooded with radiation, and will need to be evacuated.

"Do the thing," agrees Picard.

Oh no, wait - there's a fire in biolab 4.

"Cut it off to prevent oxygen from letting it spread."

"There are life-forms in there," Data interrupts.

"We're transporting endangered animals," Riker tells him.

"Yeah, those too, but I meant humanoid?" Data interjects.

"Majel," says Picard, "who is in biolab 4?"

"Alexander Rozhenko," says Majel.

Swooping close-up on Worf!

Dramatic music! Commercial break!

Picard calls biolab 4, but Alexander doesn't answer. They can't transport him out, because those are down. And now we get some back and forth in an effort to build tension: the speed of the ship is dropping, because La Forge lost some power couplings when they went through the wave.

"Best to fire those torpedoes now," La Forge advises.

"When we fire those torpedoes, biolab 4 will flood with radiation," Data points out.

Worf has already moved toward the lift. "Can I go get my kid?"

"Yeah, take Riker, too," says Picard. "Data, how long before the wave hits the colony?"

"Four minutes."

"You got three minutes to hit the right part of the ship, rescue Alexander, then get the fuck out," Picard tells Riker and Worf.

Riker and Worf reach biolab 4 quickly enough, but the door controls have shorted out. Worf is on a mission. He pushes Riker out of the way and fucking takes the wall apart to get to the circuitry. Then he delicately moves the circuit parts around to restart the door controls and hits the Open button.

Flames burst out of the open door.

They rush in and start yelling for Alexander, but get no response.

Up on the bridge, Data reports that the wave is starting to catch up to them.

In a smoke-filled biolab 4, Worf realizes that he is standing near the gilvos, and flips over some fallen beams. Bingo. An unconscious Alexander is on the floor under another beam. He calls Riker over, and together, they try to lift the beam. No go. Riker dashes off to find something to make a lever.

Alexander coughs and asks for Worf. "I'm scared. My leg hurts."

Worf has "Mom Lifts Car Off Kid" moment, and manages to move the beam off of Alexander, just as Riker rolls up with a lever. Riker has a hilarious "well, fuck" moment here before tossing the lever aside and helping Worf pull more debris off Alexander.

Worf grabs up Alexander, who shouts "The gilvos, they'll die!"

Riker protests initially, but they're just right there.

"We need to fire the torpedoes!" Data warns. "Wave coming up on our six!"

Picard tries calling Riker. No answer. He tries calling Worf. Same.

"Out of time!" yells Data.

"Fire the torpedoes!" Picard calls.

The ship fires, the wave dissipates.

And Worf and Riker stumble out of biolab 4 with Alexander, and the gilvos.

Picard calls again.

"We're here, we're out," pants Riker.

Um, y'all should probably hoof it out of the radiation zone, Riker.

Down in sick bay, Crusher does one last scan of Alexander, and tells him that he's lucky, because he only ended up with a broken leg and some smoke inhalation. Then she tells Worf that she wants to keep Alexander overnight for observation, before leaving.

"Did I get you in trouble?" Alexander asks.

Worf seems surprised that Alexander is thinking of him. "Don't worry about it."

"Am I in trouble?"

 "Yeah," says Worf. "But we can deal with that later."

Alexander makes an earnest plea to be good at the Klingon school, and make him proud, and Worf pauses.

"Klingon schools are designed to toughen up their students through physical and mental challenges. But if you want a bigger challenge... you can stay here, and slog through my crappy parenting."

"I accept," says Alexander formally.

And they smile at one another, and Worf remarks that he thinks K'Ehleyr would be pleased.

So this episode is not great, but it's not the worst Star Trek has to offer, so there's that. It just kind of... exists? I mean, they needed a way to reintroduce Alexander back into the cast as a tertiary member, and it serves that purpose, but I'm definitely not putting up there as an exemplary piece of craftsmanship.

The low-down: when Alexander was brought in on Reunion, several things were in play: they needed Duras to die, and Worf to get involved. How to do both? Bring back K'Ehleyr, then have her murdered by Duras. How to make Worf really give a shit about a woman who was essentially his ex? An Oops Baby. The thing was, the writers didn't really want to deal with adding Alexander to the roster at that point, as they had bigger fish to fry, so they shipped him off to the Rozhenkos.

Doing this was a bit of a cop out, but it added another layer to Alexander's story: this kid keeps being passed around. We have no idea if K'Ehleyr took him with her on every diplomatic mission, but the odds are that the answer is no, which means he was being deposited somewhere while she worked on certain missions. One parent, but lots of guardians. Then she's brutally murdered, and it seems he will go to this brand-new parent, but nope, passed off again to strangers. Strangers who are presumably kind to him, and maybe they'll show him some Klingon stuff that they showed Worf, but what good does that do? K'Ehleyr wasn't into that. She actively pushed it away. Now this kid has human grandparents who aren't sure if they should raise him as human, Klingon, some kind of mixture? And a year later, Alexander is back on his father's doorstep. Contrary to K'Ehleyr, Worf is All About That Klingon Life, and at the first sign of hardship, Worf is talking about moving Alexander to a Klingon school, where they probably would have eaten him alive. Like, he's 1/4 human, with a mother who hates Klingon ways, and a father who suffered through a discommendation. Worf probably would have shunted him to Kurn with the instructions "don't tell them whose son he is." Not great, considering that Alexander already had Worf pegged as being obsessed with honor and appearances.

I'm really okay with a good, flawed character. I think Worf is interesting, and making him a crappy father doesn't sit horribly with me. I should revise that: he's an unprepared father. Alexander showed up like the fucking Spanish Inquisition, and Worf was forced to just deal with it. So what does he do? He puts on some bravado and pretends that he knows all about child-rearing when he actually knows nothing. This is an unknown battle. He seems reticent at first to take anyone's advice, but he appears to get at least some of it after he shows up in Troi's office. (I still wonder why he did that, but I'm not counting the gift horse's teeth. He went, he got good advice, things improved.)

So now we have a kid that's carrying too much emotional baggage, and a father who hadn't even prepared for the idea of fatherhood, let alone considered being a single parent. It's a nice layer to add to the character of Worf. He tried to chicken out on parenthood, this guy who wants everyone to think he's fearless.

And the bottom line? This episode wasn't fantastic, but it was a piece of the story that needed to be added, so it was.

*shrug*

Fun Facts:

- Michael Piller brought the idea for Alexander's arc back for season five, so they could explore Worf as a father, see things through the eyes of a young Klingon, and see other parts of the ship via Alexander.

- The original Alexander was played by Jon Steuer in season 4's "Reunion," but was recast in this episode. Showrunners wanted someone slightly older, who could work more hours, and had better acting chops. Jonathan Frakes guessed that Steuer being a shy kid probably got him recast, as he didn't have a "little warrior" vibe.

Jon Steuer as Alexander

- Jon Steuer was replaced by Brian Bonsall, who would play Alexander in another six episodes spread over seasons five, six, and seven. Bonsall had played Andy Keaton for three years on Family Ties, and producers liked that he had a lot of acting experience.

- Both Michael Piller and director Robert Scheerer were impressed by Bonsall's work. Scheerer noted that Bonsall really enjoyed the character of Alexander, and playing around in his Klingon make-up.

Bonsall between takes

- This is Georgia Brown's last performance on Star Trek as Helena Rozhenko, and sadly, her last performance before she passed away in 1992.

- Richard McGonagle, who played Dr Ja'Dar, will appear twice in Voyager.

- Brannon Braga reported that this episode didn't do very well with audiences. He felt that episodes that featured too much character development came off as soap opera-y. Rick Berman thought that the episode was done well, but didn't stand out. Both seemed to come to the conclusion that character pieces + weak sci-fi b-plots = weaker episodes.


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Mentions of the number 47:

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Don is looking very dapper in his matching
boots and sweater combo. (Himbs had to get
IVs for an upper respiratory infection.)