ST:TNG Season Four, Episode Four "Suddenly Human"

ST:TNG Season Four, Episode Four "Suddenly Human"
Production Order: 2
Air Order: 4
Stardate: 44143.7
Original Air Date: October 15, 1990

Picard's Log 44143.7: "Got an SOS from a little Talarian ship. We got life signs, no contact, and a radiation leak."

Picard and Riker are organizing an away team with Dr Crusher, and Data reminds Picard that, in less peaceful times, the Talarians would set one of these little ships adrift, activate the distress signal, and start up the self-destruct. None of the devices were detectable, and more than 200 people were killed because of it.
Picard nods - he knows it might be a trap.
A Talarian ship, the Q'Maire, is a few hours away, but Troi says the life signs she senses are fading.
They decide to go ahead with the away team.
Riker goes over with Crusher and Worf and a few random extras, where they find five teenage Talarian boys, all injured with radiation burns.

Riker announces to the kids that they're Starfleet, and that they're going to get the boys medical treatment.
Crusher calls him over to one knocked-out kid.
"This one is human."

Dramatic music! Opening credits break!

Picard's Log, supplemental; "WTF? There was a human on that alien ship!"

Troi is wandering around sick bay trying to pretend that she's concerned about the Talarian boys, and not at all because there was a freaking human on the ship as well.
Crusher happily talks to the human kid, Jono, but he just stares straight ahead. She informs him that he isn't hurt, but he has cat-level ignoring skills.
A medical Blue brings her a padd.
"Huh, that's weird," she remarks casually, reading the padd.
Apparently, this is terrifying, because Jono starts rocking and making a high-pitched noise, and all the other boys start up, too.
"The hell?" asks Crusher.
"They're scared," says Troi.
Picard and Riker enter this din, and the noise is more than a little annoying.
"Hey, knock it off!" yells Picard.
No go.
He tries a few more times, but it isn't until Troi calls him captain that the boys all stop. Sounds like they only respect males in charge.
"Please take me home to my captain," says Jono politely. "Please take me home to Endar."
What? Endor? The Ewok planet?

Crusher pulls Picard into her office to tell him that Jono's scans show that he has a bunch of old, healed broken bones. She's concerned because the Talarians are really harsh to their enemies, and maybe they tortured Jono? But he also seems to have been with them long enough to have picked up their cultural traits. She suggests that Jono has Stockholm Syndrome.

There's a commotion in sick bay proper. Jono is losing his shit, running around sick bay, riling up the others, and dodging medical Blues. Picard and Crusher run in. Troi says she innocently suggested that Jono take his gloves off, which is when Jono lost it.
He screams, "she's trying to dissect me!"
"The fuck?" asks Picard. "She's trying to help you!"
Once again, Jono responds to Picard's authority and nothing else.
"Please take me home to Captain Endar," he repeats.
Data breaks in over Picard's comm badge to say that Starfleet sent info on "the human boy."
"Cool," says Picard.
He takes Crusher and Troi with him to get that info, but not before Crusher tells Worf to confine Jono to quarters. He isn't hurt, so she can't keep him in sick bay, but she sure as shit doesn't want him just roaming the ship.

Worf takes Jono to his new quarters. Jono is pissy toward Worf, and demands to know if Worf is a captive on the Enterprise.
"Fuck you, I work here," snaps Worf.
"Why do you take orders from a female?"
"Dr Crusher is my superior officer," Worf explains.
 "Females can never outrank males in Talarian society," Jono sneers.
"Yeah well, you're human, kid. And human females can do anything the males can."
"I'm not human," he protests. "I'm Talarian." And he starts making that noise again.
"Ugh, STFU," says Worf.
"No way, Klingon. Gonna make the B'nar - the mourning - until I can be with my brothers again."
Worf makes a noise like he isn't being paid enough to deal with this shit, and he leaves.

In the Obs Lounge, Data tells Picard, Troi and Crusher that Jono's DNA matches that of Jeremiah Rossa, a kid born 14 years earlier on a Federation colony to a Starfleet officer and his wife. The colony was attacked by the Talarians, who left no survivors.
Jeremiah Rossa was reported missing and probably dead. Jono's closest living human relative is his grandmother, Admiral Rossa.

"It's a bad idea to just drop him off back on Earth with strangers," says Troi.
The others agree: Jono should be introduced to human culture slowly.
"Good luck, Troi," says Picard. "You've got your work cut out for you."
"Yeah, no," replies Troi. "Jono hates women."
"Talarians are hella patriarchal," agrees Crusher
"You're the only one he answers to," Troi points out. "Needs to be you."
"Oh, fuck me," sighs Picard.

Dramatic music! Commercial break!

Picard goes to see Jono in his quarters. Jono is still making the B'nar sound.
"Stop it," snaps Picard. "Why do you do that?"
"That's the sound my people make when we're in distress," Jono explains.
"Okay, well, as captain, I order you to knock it off."
Jono agrees. Picard sits down and tries to make small talk about the room, but Jono insists that he's a captive and making the room nicer is pointless, as it's a cage.
"Are you going to return me to Captain Endar?"
"Ummm... so we're going to meet up with the Q'Maire in a few hours, and transfer the Talarian boys back to Endar, but we need to talk to him about you. You're a bit of a special case."
Picard tries to steer the convo back to the room, and Jono flat out tells him that he has always lived with his captain.
"You don't want to live with me," says Picard flatly.

Oh, but he does. Picard is forced to drag Jono down to see the captain's quarters, in order to convince him that he really wants to live in his own. But Picard's quarters are pretty cool. Jono immediately picks up the ceremonial knife he was given as Worf's cha'DIch. He's impressed by Picard's stuff.
Picard starts a new conversation: "Hey, I noticed that you haven't taken your gloves off."
"Not here. I won't take them off so I don't have to touch an alien."
Oh, hey. Did you know that Talarians are speciest fucks?
He tries to brook the subject of Jono's old injuries, asking if Endar has ever hurt him. But they're not on the same page here. Picard is asking if Jono has been abused, but Jono is telling him that pain is  irrelevant, and the only thing that matters is passing the tests. He insists that Picard knows nothing about Talarians.
"That's true," says Picard. "But you're not Talarian."
Jono is pissed off.

"Um, hey. Could you... not touch my stuff?"

Picard is in his ready room later when Troi comes in. He called her over.
"You might not know this," he says, "but I'm not really down with kids."
Sassy Troi: "Really? You don't say."
Oh, lord. Now he's gonna try to weasel out of this thing with Jono. "I would really best serve the ship right now by being captain."
She calls him on it: "Okay, quit bullshitting me. Why are you dodging this?"
"I'm not. I'm just... acknowledging my limitations."
That's fair, but sometimes you're the only person who can do the thing, Picard. Suck it up, buttercup.
She goes all psychotherapist on him. "When you were a kid, did you have any kid friends?"
"That has nothing to do with anything." He thinks about it for a minute, deciding if he wants to engage. Then he decides not to, and sits down to turn on his computer.
Troi turns it off with a "fuck you" attitude. He's trying to run from this duty, and there's now way she's gonna let that fly.
He admits that he spent his childhood thinking about how to get into Starfleet and doing things that might facilitate getting there, and kind of "skipping" his childhood.
"No one is born a good parent," she says, and that's pretty much the end of it. If she outranked him in the same way that Crusher did, she could just order him to do it. Instead, she just has to get sassy on his ass. And she drops the mic and saunters the fuck out.

Picard reluctantly goes back to his quarters, and we see right away that Jono has redecorated. There's loud music playing that's obviously meant to be alien to humans, because Picard can't deal with it and tells Majel to turn it off. He wanders around in silence, looking for Jono, who he can't see, because Jono is napping in a hammock.

Jono is pissed because Picard turned off his music, and Picard argues that it's gonna stay off.
Picard... you have shit customer service skills, man. This kid is supposedly your guest and not your captive, but you won't let him listen to his choice of music? WTH?
Jono tells Picard that he set up the hammock because the flat Starfleet-issued beds hurt his back. That's fair.
Picard hauls out pics of the Rossas and tells Jono that he was born to these people and was called Jeremiah, and does he remember any of this? He stops at a picture of young Jeremiah, laughing.
"Look. You knew how to laugh once."
Harsh.

He asks if Jono remembers any of this, and now we get some exposition: Jono says that Endar told him that he rescued Jono. Picard says that his parents were killed by Talarians.
"It was war," shrugs Jono.
Riker interrupts over the comm to say that they have visual contact with the Q'Maire. Jono yells "Endar!" and makes for the door, but Picard tells him to stay put.

After Picard leaves, Jono goes to look at the photos of his parents and his younger self. We hear quiet, overlapping noises of war, people screaming, and a little boy crying for his mother. Clearly, there are some things that Jono recalls.

On the bridge, Picard talks to Endar of the Q'Maire. He explains that they found the crippled ship, got the kids off, and treated them.
"Your actions will be noted," replies Endar. "We'll send you coordinates to transport the kids to when we're closer in proximity."
Sassy Riker Moment: "You're welcome, I'm sure."
Endar is about to hang up, but Picard gets his attention.
"Hey, there was a human kid on that ship."
"Yeah, that's Jono. Was he hurt?"
"No, he's fine. But we need an explanation. That kid's name is actually Jeremiah Rossa."
"That kid is my son."

Dramatic music! Zoom-in on Picard's face! Commercial break!

Picard's Log, supplemental: "Ain't this some shit. I invited Endar to come aboard to talk to him in person to make sure that we don't fuck up the diplomatics with the Talarians."

Endar beams over with two other guys, and he goes to the ready room to meet with Picard.
He admits that he was in charge of the force that attacked that colony, and that in the aftermath, he found Jeremiah Rossa crying over his mother's body.
"There was nobody left alive - should I have left him crying there?" he asks.
Then he goes into why he took the kid and why he kept him: the Talarians have a tradition that says that if their son is killed by an enemy, they have the right to take the slain enemy's kid. His own son was killed at the hands of humans, so he claimed a human.
"And what about the fact that you beat him?" asks Picard.
"WTF are you talking about?" asks Endar.
Picard explains that Crusher found old injuries, and Endar laughs.
"He broke his ribs when he fell off trying to ride this huge animal, and his arm in a contest with other boys. He was trying to impress me. We're not beating him."
Picard takes this in. It makes sense.
"Okay. But I'm not letting him leave with you. He's human, and has family on Earth. You can have the other boys."
Then we get some posturing: Endar won't let Picard leave this sector. Picard counters with Starfleet knowing where they are. Endar has called for back-up.
"Really? You'd go to war over this? We've been at peace for years," says Picard.
"Wouldn't you go to war to get your only son back? Let me see Jono. You'll see I've been a good father."
He seems sincere.

Picard goes to Crusher's office to talk to her and Troi. Crusher thinks letting Endar see Jono is a bad idea, because she still thinks that Endar is beating Jono, and can manipulate him into thinking he's a good father. Picard argues that he doesn't think Endar is abusing Jono.
"He's starting to remember stuff," says Troi. "He's pretty vulnerable. And I don't think we'll earn his trust if we send Endar away without letting them meet."
"It needs to be supervised," puts in Crusher.
Picard agrees.

Picard and Endar go to the Obs Lounge, and Troi brings Jono in. Picard and Troi then turn their backs to give the pair some privacy. Endar and Jono share a sweet greeting.

Endar asks if Jono is being treated well, and Jono replies that he has, despite the fact that he has been told not to make the B'nar. Endar assures him that this is fine, and tells Jono that the humans want to keep him.
"You've reached the Age of Decision. Do you want to stay?"
"No."
"Okay. We may have to fight, and you may die in the process."
Jono hesitates, then says that he is ready to die if need be. They touch foreheads again.

Dramatic music! Commercial break!

Picard and Troi go back to the bridge and Picard asks Data about the weapons system on the Q'Maire. It's like lasers and shit. He mentions Merculite rockets, which we've heard of before, and which sound like toys that kids got as gifts in the 1960s. ("I got an easy-Bake Oven for Christmas, and Merculite rockets!")
The Enterprise could pick off the Q'Maire like a hiker flicking off a mosquito.
"I don't wanna do that," says Picard.
"They've been known to fight to the death," adds Riker.
"Do we want to go to war over one kid?" asks Worf.
"You might if it was your kid," Crusher points out.
"If we could help Jono reach his humanity, he might go with us," Troi suggests.
"Would Endar go along with it?" asks Riker.
"Possibly," answers Data. "In Talarian custom, once Jono reaches the Age of Decision, he's allowed to make his own choices."
"Hey," says Worf. "Message from Starfleet Command. It's addressed to Jeremiah Rossa."
Picard asks Worf to send it to the ready room.

Picard invites Jono to the ready room to see the message. It's from Admiral Rossa.
She talks about how excited she and her husband will be to greet him when he comes home to Earth, and about how he's the last Rossa, and how she couldn't wait to send him a message. She wishes him a safe journey home.

Jono recognizes that she's wearing a Starfleet uniform, and Picard says that she is an admiral.
"She outranks you?"
"Yep."
Jono is frustrated, and yells at Picard that he doesn't have anything on the ship to get rid of bad energy, as he isn't allowed to make the B'Nar or play his music or run along the banks of the river at home.
"I get that," says Picard. "Let's do a thing I do when I get frustrated."

They go play Future Space Raquetball. Picard teaches Jono, and Jono is doing really well... until Jono starts having flashbacks again. He ends up crumpled on the floor, crying that his mother was "all red, and I was calling her name, but she wasn't answering."
Picard comforts him.

They go back to Picard's quarters, and Jono tells Picard what little he remembers of his mother. Then he complains that he used to feel strong, but lately he feels weak and sad.
"Part of being human," says Picard. "You feel sad sometimes, but you can also feel joy."
"Doubt it," says Jono.

They make their way to Ten Forward, where they join Riker and Wes. Wes is having a banana split, and offers some to Jono. Jono, not knowing how to eat it, stabs the dish with a spoon and flips the ice cream at Wes.

Jono is horrified, but the others start laughing, and soon, he is too. Data, playing 3-D chess nearby, is baffled as to why that is funny. Riker tells him to Google "slapstick," and while Data is not sure why it's funny, he does kind of get it. Wes orders two more banana splits, and Picard and Riker step up to the bar and discuss how Jono has changed over the last hour or so.

Later, Jono gets out of his hammock and goes to Picard's bedroom area. Picard is asleep. Jono has the d'k tahg. You can guess what happens.

Picard wakes up in sick bay as they're patching up his wound.
"Ugh, did that asshole actually fucking stab me?"
"Yep," says Crusher. "He's in the brig right now."

On the bridge, Riker notes that several more Talarian ships have shown up. He really doesn't want a fight.
Endar calls. "Where the hell is Picard?"
"Injured," says Riker. "I'm in charge."
"Great. Send my kid back or I'll kick your ass."
"Can't do that. He stabbed Picard last night, so now he's in custody."
"Dude, this is your fault!" declares Endar. "If you had just given him back to me in the first place, this would not have happened!"
Oh hell no, you did not just victim-blame.
Endar then issues the threat that if Jono isn't aboard the Q'Maire within five minutes, there will be "consequences."
He's gonna shoot them with his Easy Bake Oven. Pew pew pew.
"Awesome," drawls Riker. "Go to fucking red alert."

Jono goes to sick bay with some security Golds.
"Dude, why did you stab me?" asks Picard.
"Doesn't matter," shrugs Jono. "I attacked a superior officer. I must be put to death now. That is the punishment."
Picard frowns. "Hold the motherfucking comm badge: no one is putting anyone to death. And WTH? You were happy a few hours ago."
"That's true," says Jono sadly. "The happier I was, the closer I felt to you, the more I felt like I was betraying my father, and all of the things he's done for me. I couldn't let that happen. I couldn't lose sight of who I am."
Picard lays back on his pillow.
Well, shit.

Endar calls Riker again, because five minutes has gone by, and no Jono. They bicker, Riker tells Edar that Jono is going back to Earth, Endar makes some threats.
The lift doors open, and Picard and Jono enter the bridge.
"So hey," Picard says to Endar. "Last night Jono stabbed me."
Endar again tries to victim-blame.
Picard ignores him. "A crime took place here, but not by Jono. By me. When we encountered Jono, we figured that introducing him to human culture would make him jump at the chance to go back. Thing is, nobody was listening to what he wanted. I'm returning him home to his loving father, and that is you, Endar."
Endar has a brief emotional moment, then goes all stoic and thanks Picard.

Picard and Jono go to the transporter room.
They both say goodbye, then there's a pause, and Jono takes off his gloves. He steps forward, puts his hands on either side of Picard's head, and performs the Talarian greeting of  touching foreheads. Picard is stunned. Jono touched him.
Then Jono steps back on the pad, and transports away.

So this is a pretty good episode. Not a lot of sci up in this particular fi, but it has good character development, and the story is interesting, so that makes up for it. What really gets me here is the departure. Based on the kinds of stories that Star Trek tells, and also the kinds of stories that Americans tell, it's expected that Jono will go back to Earth to rediscover his roots, after having spent some time with the Enterprise crew and deciding that he is still human, after all. A leopard cannot change its spots. But instead, Picard realizes that the scant four years that Jono spent as a human cannot replace the ten or so that he spent as a Talarian. Those early years were formative, but he spent two-and-a-half times the number of years with Endar as he did with his parents, and his memories of his parents are fuzzy and confused at best. Kids tend to not recall much before their fifth year, so the bulk of Jono's memories will come from Endar and his Talarian teachings. He might return to the Terran system at a later date to explore his heritage out of curiosity, but until then, his choice is to stay with Endar. I think it was an interesting choice to send him back to Endar, and not what I would have expected from Star Trek.
There a question we have to ask here: did Endar kidnap Jono?
Yes and no?
If all of the humans in the colony were dead already, Jono's parents included, then leaving him there would probably mean his death. Could he have returned Jono to the nearest Federation outpost/colony/starbase? Yes. Would he? Nope. Not only because they were at war at the time, but because he was following Talarian tradition.
Something that never really came up here was that Jono and Worf had pretty much the same upbringing: parents killed during an attack, they were both scooped up by others to be raised apart from their own cultures. The major difference here is that Worf was not raised by Romulans, and that Sergey and Helena encouraged him to explore his heritage, whereas Jono was simply told that he was now a Talarian, and there was probably no more talk of humans.
But where I found a strength in this episode, other viewers found a problem. Many fans did not feel that Picard should have sent Jono back to Endar. They felt as Crusher had, that Endar was abusing Jono, and that Jono had Stockholm Syndrome. They wanted an ending to this episode where Jono returned to Earth and gradually became Jeremiah again.
I suppose this episode really raises the question of nature vs nurture: how much of a human was Jono, and how much of a Talarian?





- Fun Facts:

- It was with this episode that Jeri Taylor joined the writing team. She was recommended by producer Lee Sheldon, but she had zero experience with Star Trek, so she was loaded up with a large number of tapes of both Next Gen and TOS to bring her up to speed. Taylor describes her writing style as being heavy on character development and light on sci-fi, which is why there is little science in this episode.

Stewart, Jeri Taylor, and the world's creepiest photobomb by
Brent Spiner

- Jeri Taylor originally invented a new race of aliens for this episode, but Michael Okuda suggested that she use the Talarians, who had been mentioned but never seen.
- This was the second episode filmed for the fourth season, despite being aired fourth.
- Because of the timing of the filming of this episode, the only time that Geordi appears in this episode is from stock footage. LeVar Burton was out having and recovering from surgery during the filming of this episode and Best of Both Worlds, Part 2.

- This episode is a bottle show.
- The Talarian uniforms from this episode will be used for a different race in a season six episode.
- Jono's human father is photographed in the season one Starfleet uniforms, making it the earliest chronological appearance of that particular uniform.

- This is one of the few times that a sheathed d'k tahg is seen.

- The Talarian rifles were later reused as Romulan disruptor rifles.
- Chad Allen is probably best known for playing Matthew Quinn on Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman.

Red deaths: 0
To date: 0
Gold deaths: 0
To date: 0

Blue deaths: 0
To date: 0
Unnamed color crew deaths: 0
To date: 11,000

Obnoxious Wes moments: 0
To date: 0

Legitimate Wes moments when he should have told someone to go fuck themselves: 0
To date: 0

Sassy Geordi moments: 0
To date: 0

Sassy Wes Moments: 0
To date: 0

Sassy Worf Moment: 0
To date: 1

Sassy Riker Moments: 1
To date: 2

Sassy Picard Moments: 0
To date: 2

Sassy NPC Moments: 0
To date: 0
Sassy Data Moments: 0
To date: 1
Sassy O'Brien Moments: 0
To date: 0
Sassy Crusher Moments: 0
To date: 0
Sassy Troi Moments: 1
To date: 1
Sassy Guest Star Moments: 0
To date: 0

Number of times that it is mentioned that Data is an android: 0
To date: 2

Number of times that Troi reacts to someone else's feelings: 0
To date: 3

Number of times that Geordi "looks at something" with his VISOR: 0
To date: 0
Number of times when Data gives too much info and has to be told to shut up: 0
To date: 0
Picard Maneuvers: 2
To date: 6
Tea, Earl Grey: 0
To date: 1

Alber

ST:TNG Season Four, Episode Three "Brothers"

ST:TNG Season Four Episode Three "Brothers"
Production Order: 3
Air Order: 3
Stardate: 44085.7
Original Air Date: October 8, 1990


So I came from home from work, all ready to finish my blog post, and had myself a Michael Scott moment:

I hit "post" instead of "save" last night, so what was posted was part of a blog, a bunch of notes where screencaptures should be, and no write-up.
I apologize for you having to see a partial post where a full one should be, and thank you humbly for being too polite to point out my blunder.

-LA

*******

Picard's Log 44085.7: "Fuckfuckfuck, had to rush away from some shore leave because this kid played a practical joke on his little brother, resulting in a medical emergency, and now we have to rush the younger kid to a starbase for treatment."

Troi brings the older kid into the Obs Lounge to meet with Riker, who is pissed. Seems that the older kid Jake Potts and his little brother Willie were left behind for Riker to babysit while their parents went on vacation, and Riker promised that they wouldn't get into trouble. Only now it looks like Riker is a liar, because the older kid has possibly killed the younger one.
Basically, they were doing the shore leave thing on some planet and doing laser tag. Jake filled a balloon with red dye and told Willie that he thought Willie's laser tag gun looked real. Willie shoots Jake, the balloon pops, Willie thinks he killed Jake. Willie runs into the woods, and while hiding, eats something poisonous. The poison also makes him contagious, meaning that Willie Potts is currently in a bio-force field thing in sick bay.
Jake looks properly abashed as he explains his side to Riker.
Riker calls in Data, who has alerted the parents to the situation. Data will now escort Jake down to sick bay to see his brother.

Jake hamlets in the lift over his brother possibly dying at his hand. Data attempts to comfort him by pointing out that they are only two days away from a medical starbase that can help them, but unfortunately for Jake, there's a weird click, and Data stops talking, dropping into hypnotized mode or something.
He halts the lift and punches in a new code while Jake frantically tries to get him to finish his sentence.
"I can tell you're mad at me, but please don't leave me in the lurch," he begs.
Wait, how can you tell he's mad? Number one, he's android. He's got Resting Poker Face. Number two, dude lacks emotion. Does he even possess the algorithm to fake Angry Face? I mean, I guess he does, but what would be the point in even being able to make that face?
The lift arrives back at the bridge again, and Data exits.
Jake is concerned.

Dramatic music! Opening credits break!

Data goes straight to his station on the bridge and takes the place of whoever had replaced him there. Riker remarks on how quickly he returned from taking Jake to sick bay, and Geordi calls Picard to tell him that something was repaired or something or other, and they're free to go to some speed of warp. Data punches in some info.
"Hey, I didn't say it was cool to go to warp 9.1," Geordi breaks in.
"Wait, what?" asks Picard.
All hell breaks loose.
"Who put in this course correction?" demands Wes.
"The fuck?' says Riker. "Data, who switched our coordinates?"
Data comes off like a guy listening to a conversation on Bluetooth, cocking his head at weird times, and not paying any attention to the people right in front of him.
Our ship-disabling device is some kind of realignment, which I guess they were doing while peeps were on shore leave, and which they were probably okay continuing while rushing the kid to the starbase. But Geordi says they can't do past warp 8 for a while, and his verbal warnings are coming over the comm while everyone stares at the back of Data's head.

An alarm goes off.
"Life support on the bridge failing," announces Majel. "Evacuate."
The bridge crew is a well-oiled machine. They divide quickly between the two lifts and agree to meet up in Engineering, where the bridge functions are being transferred.
Data stands at the front of the bridge, near the viewscreen. Riker and Picard nod to one another, Data and Picard nod to one another. Seems that there's some kind of protocol in place that the non-living android will stay on the bridge while the meatbags evacuate.

Data moves to the science station and he sets up something mysterious in the computer. Life support has failed.
And it's just an aside here, but I will never not be impressed with the design of the stations at the back of the bridge, the way that the wall pulls out to become chairs. It's almost like they give a shit in the 24th century about someone spending an 8 hour shift on their feet. Starfleet: they care more about your health than your shitty American retail job.

Down in Engineering, Geordi and another Gold are trying to figure out what happened. Their speed has increased, and there are a bunch of failsafes in place to prevent life support from terminating on the bridge. The others arrive, and Geordi tries to bring the ship to a stop, but Majel tells him that he is locked out.
"Um, there are force fields up everywhere around the bridge," reports Worf.
Riker and Worf are directed to go to deck two and try to break in manually from below.
Geordi and Wes report that not only can they not get in to stop the ship, but they can't slow it down or change the heading. They're rushing at top speed in the wrong direction.
Picard tries to call Data, but Data hits ignore.
He shuts off subspace communication.

Picard decides to separate the ship. The saucer section only has an impulse drive, so if they separate the saucer will drop out of warp.
"Um, that's really dangerous," says Wes.
"I'm aware," says Picard.
He has Geordi prep it.

So, remember how Data can imitate voices? No, because we haven't seen him do that since the pilot? Now he imitates Picard, giving top-level clearance to shut down the separation.
"Also, only accept command functions from the bridge."

Downstairs, Picard is finding out that he can't run his own damn ship from Engineering.
"The hell?" demands Wes. "Only you have that kind of clearance!"
"Guess Data does too," Picard replies darkly.

So now that Data is headed somewhere unknown at top speed, it's time to figure out how to keep on this route without being waylaid. He tells the computer to set up a series of force fields in such a way that he can keep the others from coming back to the bridge.

Picard calls O'Brien to have him shut off the site-to-site transporter, then calls sick bay.
"Hey, are the force fields on the kid's containment unit still in place?"
"Yeah. And he's good still, but I don't know for how long. We really need to get him specialized care ASAP."
"Yeah, but Data has other plans," says Picard.

Dramatic music! Commercial break!

Crusher is in sick bay examining Willie. He's in a box of some kind, like a tiny clean room, and when she puts her hands inside to work with him, they have to go through some kind of containment field that either keeps the germs inside, keeps them outside, or sterilizes her hands. Maybe all three. Dunno. It just goes "zzzzttttt" when she slides her hands inside.
They're having a convo about practical jokes, and she says that surely he's played one in his life.
"No way," he replies, and it's obvious that A) he's hella salty about what Jake did, and B) this is a thing that he'll probably carry around as an adult as well. "It's never funny to the person being pranked."
Troi tries to bring Jake in, but Willie rolls over away from his brother.
"See?" Jake asks with preteen angst. "It's hopeless. He doesn't want to talk to me!"
He stalks off.

The E rolls up on a green planet.

"Majel," says Data, "I wanna do site-to-site transport to these coordinates."
"No go," says Majel. "The site-to-site is turned off."
"Switch them back on."
"Noooop."
"Okay. How about showing me the quickest way from here to transporter room one?"
Seems like Data would already have that information memorized, but okay.
He then sets up the force fields in such a way that he can go from the bridge to the transporter room without anyone else being able to go there too.

Down in Engineering, more bad news for Picard:
"The ship still won't take orders from anywhere but the bridge," says Geordi.
"I can't get subspace communication," adds Worf. "So we can't call for help."
"We don't even know what star system we're in," complains Wes.
Sassy Riker Moment: "The only way we know we've dropped out of warp is because we looked out the window."
O'Brien calls. "He figured out we locked him out of site-to-site. He'll probs try to make it to a transporter room."
Picard assigns Worf to put Golds near the transporter rooms. "Also, see if the computer will tell you what Data's stun settings are so we can take him down."
"Majel," he says, "how long until we can get from here to the starbase where we were gonna cure the kid, at warp 9?"
"Psshht, who dis?" asks Majel. "You're not on the bridge. I don't have to tell you anything."
Picard is 1000% over this shit.

Using Picard's voice again, Data locks the fuck out of the bridge systems using a super long code of numbers and letters. He talks so quickly that the computer has trouble keeping up.
"Now take orders from Data," he tells her. "Shut down the force fields one at a time as he walks toward them, then put them right back up."
Data gets in the lift.
Each time he encounters a Gold, they run headlong into a force field. Worf actually tries to phaser him, but that was a dumb idea. Shit just ricochets back. What were you thinking, Worf?
Data makes it to the transporter and goes to the controls.
"Surprise, bitch!" yells Riker.
He, O'Brien, and another Gold are standing on the transporter pads.

Data just puts up another force field, trapping them on the pads.
Riker makes like he's going to shoot Data, but O'Brien stops him. "Could you not, please? Transporters do not like phaser ricochet."
Holy shit, how can these people be in Starfleet for years, and have no idea that PHASER FIRE RICOCHETS OFF OF FORCE FIELDS? Fuck, I'm not in Starfleet and have never fired a weapon, and I even I could tell you that. It's like Science 101.
Data takes a panel off the wall and begins moving the tiles around inside.
"What's he doing?" asks Riker.
"Restoring the site-to-site," sighs O'Brien.
"Does that mean he can..."
Yep.

Data reappears in the jungle at night. He walks a bit until he reaches a building of some kind, then goes in.
The place is filled with the usual... human anatomy charts, things in formaldehyde, human skulls.
A tiny old dude descends a ladder and walks up to Data.
"Right on time," he says.
You can probably guess who this guy is.

Dramatic musical note! Commercial break!

 When we come back, the old dude is messing with Data's comm badge. Then he snaps it shut, uses a tool to make some adjustments in Data's mouth, and Data becomes cognizant again. He attempts to call the E, to no avail.
"Um, how did I get here? We were taking a kid to a medical facility, and I was escorting his brother to sick bay... then I woke up here."
"I sent for you," cackles the old guy. "Do I look familiar?"
"Yeah? I mean, you kind of look like Dr Noonien Soong, the guy who built me. But he was killed by the Crystalline Entity."
"It's your lucky day," says Data's kidnapper. "You're about to find out that your long-lost father is alive and well. I'm Dr Soong."

Down in Engineering, Geordi and Wes have figured out that Data only erected force fields that he needed to use to keep everyone off the bridge and protect his movements to the transporter. So he controls those. But the medical force field was already in place, and somehow, they can use the power from that force field to shut the others down. I don't know how that's going to work, but whatever. Picard instructs them to figure out the minimum force field that sick bay needs to keep the kid safe, so they can divert the rest to getting the ship back.

In sick bay, Willie receives a hypospray, and then gets some goofy bedside manner from Crusher. I kind of like this side of her. It's sweet.
"Your brother says you still won't see him."
"Why the hell should I?" asks Willie.
"It's hard for him. He feels guilty," she says.
"Everybody is very worried about Jake, when I'm the one who's going to die," he replies grumpily.
"No one is going to die," she says firmly.
He remains unconvinced, both on the dying, and on giving his brother a chance.

The others manage to break back onto the bridge, but Worf is locked out of his station because his security clearance isn't high enough in the little world that Data has built here. He complains about it when Picard appears in the lift a moment later.
Picard tells he computer to unlock Worf's station, using his clearance.
"Cool," says Majel. "What's the password?"
"The hell?" demands Picard.
"Well, we're fucked," announces Geordi. "If Data came up with a password, it's pretty much impossible to crack."
"Sensors?" asks Picard.
Worf pushes some buttons. "Okay, yeah. I see one human life form on the surface."
"There's the life form who has the answers we need," muses Picard.
Oops, there's a small ship coming into orbit as well. One without life signs.
They all kind of shrug at one another.

Soong is having Data do weird-ass sobriety tests to see what Data is capable of. Mainly, we now know that Data can pat his head and rub his belly. Soong laughs and says that someone of no consequence said that Data would never master that. Soong is enjoying the smell of his own farts, basically. He also says he loves Data's face. Which is his face. He asks Data to whistle, and the android looks disappointed. Do you remember, again in the first episode and not since then, that Data first met Riker on the holodeck? And that Data was attempting to whistle, but couldn't, and also that he was fucking creepy as hell? Well, he hasn't succeeded yet. At the whistling, I mean. He's significantly less creepy now.

Soong admits to secretly stalking Data's progress over the years. He asks why Data selected Starfleet.
"The people who rescued me were in Starfleet," replies Data.
Hmmm, that doesn't sound like anyone else we know of.

"Eh, boring," dismisses Soong. He's playing with some plastic dinosaurs on a table with an actual dinosaur skull on it. Dude basically has a Jurassic Park playset in his lab. "I designed you so that you could pick anything, and you pretty much picked the military."
"Well, what would you have picked for me?" asks Data.
"It would have been cool if you were a scientist," admits Soong. "Or a cyberneticist, like me."
Good news, Soong!

"So, to follow in your footsteps?" asks Data.
"I see nothing wrong with that," says Soong, a bit defensively.
Hmmm. You created not one, but two androids with your own face. You were hoping the second would have your job. It's kind of a short leap from "living vicariously through one's children" to this Bullshit Singularity.

Data up and asks The Big Question: why am I here?

Soong gets all poetic in his answer: "You know what Michelangelo used to say?"

Yeah, he used to talk shit about Leonardo, because he was a giant asshole in his youth.
Oh, I mean, that thing about the sculpture already existing in the marble and him just removing the stone to reveal it or some shit.
I... don't really like Michelangelo.
Anyway, Soong gives Data some answer about how artists gotta art, and he felt the need to make Data.
Then he dances through some bullshit about how humans need continuity in their lives, blah, blah, blah, and he makes Data do the legwork.
Short answer to Data's question: "living vicariously through one's children." And possible Bullshit Singularity.
Just then, the door opens. Is it the E crew to liberate Data from his weird kidnapping?
No, it's this undead motherfucker.

Dramatic music! Commercial break!


When we come back, Data is (politely) begging Soong not to activate Lore, because List of Reasons. Soong brushes him off, and it's obvious from his brush-off that Data told him the whole story.
"Eh, he's not the maniacal android you make him out to be," shrugs Soong.
Okay: back the fuck up. You built Data and Lore. You shut off Lore because he was a Problem. Then you created Data. Did you write an exaggeration algorithm in his programming? No? Then why would you think he'd developed that skill? When he can't even fucking whistle? Pay attention, Soong. When one android tells you that another is a sociopath, you better start listening.
But does he?
Hell no.
"Anyway, he'll obey me. He always did."
NO HE DIDN'T. YOU SHUT HIM OFF.
Again, Data points out what a disloyal prick Lore is.
A few clicks, and Lore gains consciousness. He immediately lunges for Data, which isn't a red flag at all. Soong pushes him backward and goes "shhhhhhhh" as though he's trying to calm a spooked horse.
Lore seems briefly glad to see Soong, and marvels that the old guy is still alive, but then he drops right back into his old self-righteous brooding.
"Why didn't you just break me down like before? I mean, that is why the pair of you have conspired to capture me, isn't it?"

"Okay, we didn't capture you," explains Soong. "You both have a homing device. I activated it, expecting Data would come to me. I didn't realize that you had been reassembled, and that the homing device would bring you here."
That's a reasonable explanation, but does Lore accept it? Noooooo.
"Yeah, I would have remained disassembled, no thanks to you," he snarls at Soong. "And you -" he levels at Data - "I was floating in space for two years, thanks to you. I was recovered by a Pakled trader, and that's the only reason why I'm here now."
Fucking Pakleds.

"Anyway, I was clearly wasn't wanted here, so I'll leave the pair of you to cuddle and brush each other's hair."
Lore makes to leave, and really, Soong should just let him go.
"NO, wait!" calls Soong. "This is your last chance to ask me any question. I'm dying."
Lore is taken aback. "No, you can't be dying. You're fine. You look fine."
Could it be? Has Lore magically grown some empathy? No, he only gives a shit about himself. He's only sad because he's thinking of what this might mean for him. Get fucked, Lore.
"I wish I was kidding," sighs Soong.

Upstairs, Picard is holding a senior officers meeting in the Obs Lounge.
"We have life-support, sensors, aux power," says Worf. "That's it. We can't get anything else because we're locked out of everything else."
"I can't even find the file that Data put the code into," says Geordi. "I mean, that would tell us how long the code is, but that wouldn't even do us any good. because we still have no idea what it is."
Riker comes up with a plan, and it's so convoluted and confusing that I can't figure out what the hell they're talking about. Something to do with tricking the transporter traces into thinking several people are Data, and without the main computer, reconfiguring a bunch of tricorders to do it.
They decide to go forward with the plan.
But they gotta get hopping, because the Ship Disabling Plot  Willie Potts only has 24-36 hours to get fixed.

Downstairs, Lore is not hearing the answers he wants.
"What do you mean, you didn't have any choice?"
He's clearly asking why he was taken apart.
"I just didn't," says Soong. "I'm sorry there isn't a better answer. You weren't functioning properly."
And now Data has that crappy moment where someone involved with a sociopath finds out exactly how big the house of cards made of lies really is.
"Lore says the colonists asked you to take him apart because he was too human and they were jealous," Data tells Soong.
Soong snorts. "Nope. Not true."
"He also said that the asked you to make a less perfect android - me."
"No, no. You shouldn't think of yourself as less perfect. The two of you are virtually identical, except for some programming."
"It was all lies," says Data, as sad as an emotionless android can be.
"I'm a victim," whines Lore. "Cater to me!"

He throws a tantrum, stomping around the lab, pushing things out of his way, not actually breaking anything, but acting like a huge baby in general. Soong is attempting to placate him while reassuring Data.
"You and Data are equally important to me. You were the first," he says. "The colonists were afraid of you. You were unstable."
Data is testing out the idea "I am not less perfect than Lore" by repeating it out loud.
"Why didn't you just fix me?" Lore demands.
"That's not how it works," says Soong. "I shut you off. The next logical step was making Data. Then I would have figured out what went wrong and fixed you. But I wasn't able to get that far."
Hmmm. That works for devices, but not people. While Data and Lore are devices, Lore does not see himself that way. Basically, his father just told him, "you were unstable, so I had another child to see how they worked normally, then I could figure out what was wrong with you."
Lore is pissed.
Data continues his repeating.

"STFU, both of you, and sit down!"
Data sits quietly. Lore stomps over and sits huffily on a stool.
"I have no idea where I went wrong with you," Soong tells Lore. "I gave you emotions, but they twisted and became tangled with ambition. The colonists were afraid of you. If I knew you existed beyond a pile of parts in a lab, I would have brought you here years ago and fixed you. But I didn't. I only knew about Data, so I've spent the last few years working on how to improve him."
He made an emotion chip for Data.
"Whoa...."
"I can only guess how hard it's been for you, living with emotional humans," says Soong.
"I don't have to guess," interrupts Lore. "I know how it is." He sounds all excited for Data, but dude does not feel for others. "You'll be surprised at how it is, Data. You may even learn to understand your evil brother. To forgive him."
*snort* As if, sociopath.
"We'll be more alike, Data. You'll see."
Noop. Noop, noop.

And ugh, Soong is #TeamLore. "Maybe with the emotion chip, you'll learn to be more trusting, Data. Your brother has good reason to be bitter."
I don't give a flying fuck if he has a reason to be bitter. He fed an entire colony of people to the Crystalline Entity before he was disassembled. He can be bitter all he likes about being taken apart, but he was already a remorseless asshole before that.
Data tries to point this out, but he's interrupted by Soong, who insists that Lore is redeemable. Maybe as an android he is, but I've seen this familial bullshit play out before, with one person a sociopath, and some well-meaning family member defending them. That never ends well.
"He never had the advantages and chances that we did," says Soong.
Sure he did. He had all the time in the world NOT to align himself with an entity that would destroy a colony mercilessly. He had the chance to not be a dick.
"I'm sure Lore knows why I did what I did."
Yep. Doesn't mean he won't hold a grudge.
"Anyway, the procedure to put the chip in is pretty simple, but I'm really tired."
Soong, you're a smart guy. Please tell me you're not that stupid.
"Gonna take a nap first."
He is that stupid.

Saddish music that turns dramatic when Lore smiles insincerely at Data! Commercial break!

Wow. So punchable.

Upstairs, Riker tells Picard that O'Brien and Geordi have figured out how to make the transporter think three crew members are Data.
"Hope we don't beam back looking like Data," Riker remarks.
He, Geordi and Worf hop on the transporter pad.

Downstairs, Soong has completed his nap, and installs the chip in a knocked out android in a Starfleet uniform. The android awakens and sings a song.

"I always liked that song, but I could never get the cadence right," he grins. "Thank you, Father."

"Oh, you called me Father!" Soong is all excited.

"Sure, what else would I call you? Often-Wrong?"

"Where did you hear that name?" asks Soong, alarmed. "Did Lore tell you about that?"
"That's what the colonists call you, right? Often-Wrong Soong? It's a really sloppy rhyme - Wrong/Soong?"

Passing over the fact that it is a sloppy rhyme, Soong is failing to see the obvious. He asks how "Data" is feeling.

"Often-Wrong's got a broken heart/ Can't even tell his boys apart," grins Lore.

Soong is now panicking, because apparently, he did not see what the audience clearly saw, which is that Lore probably hog-tied Data somewhere and stripped him down so he could have the emotion chip.
And here's my question: Lore already has an emotion chip. WTF does he need with another one? Is this one better? How would Lore even know that? Did he just take this one, knowing that it's something that Data wants?
"Please," says Soong, "those circuits weren't designed for you. We need to remove that chip."
"Whatever. You didn't fill Data with substandard parts. Just me. You owe me, not him."

Soong again tries to explain that he didn't make one for Lore because he didn't know Lore was reactivated, but Lore throws him across the room.
He then peels back his thumbnail to reveal electronics and a button. Pressing the button allows him to transport out of the lab.

The away team tromps through the jungle outside and comes up on the lab. Worf reports that "the human is here" (so Soong is not dead). They proceed inside, where they come upon Soong.

Geordi recognizes him.

Worf emerges from the back room with a switched-off Data in Lore's Pakled clothing. Riker turns him back on, and for the second time in a few hours, Data is forced to wake up in a completely new situation.

They all rush over to Soong.

He is bleeding from a head wound, and he stammers through an explanation: he couldn't tell Data and Lore apart, and installed Data's chip in Lore. There was only one chip, and he tried to talk Lore into giving it back, but...

"Dude, WTF?" Riker demands. "Our Ship-Disabling device is only good for another 24 hours or less. Tell us what's going on quickly!"

"Lore is back. He was summoned by the same homing signal I was."

"That sucks, but you shut down the whole ship, and a kid is about to die!"

Soong realizes that he's kind of the cause of this, and tells Data where to look for that missing memory that will unlock the ship so they can leave.

Data does the thing, and everything comes back to him. "Whoa, shit. Did not realize I did that."

The group tries to talk Soong into beaming back up with them, but Soong says that he wishes to die in his lab. Data asks for a few minutes alone with Soong, which he is granted.

Data asks if Soong thinks they are alike, and Soong replies that he thinks they are.

"Then it is okay for you to die," says Data, "because through me, you will continue to live on."

Soong nods and smiles.

"You know I cannot grieve for you, though," he points out.

"You will in your own time," says Soong.

"Goodbye, Father."

Picard's Log 44091.1: "We reached the starbase three days ago and that kid got treated. He came back to the E and has to be in quarantine in sick bay for a week or two, but he'll be okay."

Picard and Crusher go back to sick bay, where Data is with Jake and Willie. Willie is still in the force field, and he and Jake are playing together.

Jake hands Willie a pair of dinosaurs through the force fields, and Picard remarks that the boys seem to be enjoying Data's gifts.

And oh my hell, I never noticed before: DATA GAVE THE BOYS SOONG'S DINOSAURS.

ow, my heart

"It is nice to see them playing together," agrees Data.

"They're brothers," says Picard. "Brothers forgive."

Callback.

Data appears less certain of this statement.

Kind of suspicious music! Closing credits!

*******

I really like this episode. It has some good sci-fi elements, and the familial elements of the siblings were just as believable as the ones from last week. Despite the fact that Soong is not technically related to either Data or Lore and they were never raised together, each one slips easily into the role of father, son or brother, and it never feels forced. Soong scolds Data and Lore for bickering as though his androids once shared a bunkbed when they were young. Data falls into the role of the long-suffering yet never-complaining sibling-who-turned-out-okay, while Lore keeps trying to direct all attention back onto himself. I was both horrified at the family dynamics of Soong's acceptance of his sociopathic child, but impressed by how well it worked here. Soong feels guilty over Lore, despite the fact that he is a monster, and kind of blames himself in a way for Lore being that way. I mean, is he? He built Lore, yes. But did he purposefully create a sociopath? No. But it's easy for him to fall into that trap of thinking he did by accident. The whole thing was like watching a train wreck. I kept expecting Data to go back to the E and Google listicles on how to cut toxic family members out of one's life.

And props to Brent Spiner and the crew for making me believe that three different people were in that room. He gave each a distinct personality, different movements and voices. And someone made the excellent executive decision to make Soong shorter than his boys. Soong is smaller, feebler than his android offspring. It is the end of his life and he is passing on his last bit of power to the younger of his sons, who is tall and unburdened with age.

We're off to a good start with this season. Three decent episodes in a row.

Don't screw it up with another Code of Honor, or some shit.

Fun Facts:

- Rick Berman wrote the initial story, but it did not include Lore. Michael Pillar suggested it to him because he felt that a story with a little boy in peril, and one with data meeting Soong did not have enough drama. The natural inclination was to bring back Lore.
- Brent Spiner was credited with playing Data in the opening credits, and Lore and Soong in the end credits.

- They weren't sure that Spiner could play all three roles in the same episode, so at one point, other actors were being considered for the role of Soong.

- Spiner spent several days rehearsing on set with the director, mapping out his stage movements, because he was playing three different characters in the same scenes. He spent one day shooting as Data and Lore, and another shooting Soong. The set was closed so he could focus on each character.
- The song that Lore sings comes from an often-misquoted poem ("Abdul Abulbul Amir"). The parts used here are also not correct. Lore got something wrong. Shocker.
- The dino skull in Soong's lab was rented from the Museum of Natural History.
- This is the first time we see the inside of a comm badge.

- Data's combination lock would require 36 to the 52nd attempts to break, something that is currently impossible to do.
- A light fixture on the wall in Soong's lab is a re-use of a fixture from Kivas Fajo's collection room. It uses dichroic filters.

- This episode was nominated for an Emmy for Outstanding Makeup



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Mysterious Muze